What's not to love?

Jack Horner. You know who I am. And if you don't--wait, seriously? You don't? How could you not?? I'm only one of the most important guys you'll ever meet! [Independent Jack Horner -Fables/TWAU heavy-]

[buildthatwall-builditstrong-blog]

"Well, why don’t you go do something productive? Don’t you have a job?"

[clickityclackitsjack-blog]

"Sure I do!"

"I'm a man of many skills, though nothing seems to need my immediate attention at the moment." 

[crxstallinesovereign-deactivate]

Oh now he was really in for it.

"What’s wrong Jack, not very partial to the cold weather? What a shame.”

[clickityclackitsjack-blog]

"Oh, hey--! Hey!"

What first was a beautiful lady then became a memory, and shortly after, a realization to just how fucked he was (and not in the good way this time). Jack had to think fast, keep his cool--oh, ha ha, was that some shit or what? Making puns at a time like this--before he became a human popsicle and she realized her name had slipped his memory. Lilith? Lena? Elsa?

"Long time no sleep--see. Long time no see." Fuck. "Didn't think I'd see you around here. Seems kind of...not your climate." 

He'd feel a lot better if she was in her climate; someplace like Alaska or Canada or something. Far away.

[clickityclackitsjack-blog]

buildthatwall-builditstrong replied to your post: "I’ve done nothing but drink beer and ...

"That … doesn’t sound as productive as you think, Jack. I’m sorry."

"It's productive in a way that is least productive. A bit of facetiousness from my end, gorgeous."

[clickityclackitsjack-blog]

"I've done nothing but drink beer and watch mundy television. In other words, it was a very productive day."

[buildthatwall-builditstrong-blog]

"Has it ever occurred to you that there might be, I don’t know …"

"A reason? Beyond just ‘being yourself’? It sounds like you get into trouble alot, Jack."

[clickityclackitsjack-blog]

"Granted I can sometimes get out of hand, and maybe I'm not always on best behavior..."

"...But he's always especially grumpy to me, gorgeous! Always."

[buildthatwall-builditstrong-blog]

"What makes you say that?"

[clickityclackitsjack-blog]

"He's only been kicking me around and picking on me for the past three hundred years. And for what, being myself?"

"Just ask anyone in Fabletown. It's near scientifically proven that he's not a delight to be around, more or less associate with."

[clickityclackitsjack-blog]

buildthatwall-builditstrong replied to your post: "Oh, so when I hit on someon...

"I have no idea who you’re talking about."

"Good. It's better if you don't. The guy's an ass."

[notasbadastheysay]

"How chivalrous of you.”

"Probably out, doing my job. If you weren’t so obsessed to play the part of the “hero” for every damsel you ran into and actually called once in a fucking while, it would have been handled without you drooling on her—which I’m sure you did then, too.” 

[clickityclackitsjack-blog]

"Fuck off. Why would I call you for stuff like that, anyway? I can handle all my problems myself just fine. She was probably grateful, would've kept being lost if I hadn't showed."

[clickityclackitsjack-blog]

"Oh, so when I hit on someone, I'm reprimanded, but if Wolf gets any business of that kind nobody makes a peep?"

"You guys are jerks."

[notasbadastheysay]

"Watch it."

"As for rumors on your recent activity, cut it out. I’m sure whoever it is would have a much better day if you weren’t in it, fucking it up for them.” 

[clickityclackitsjack-blog]

"For your information, I helped her find her way after being totally lost."

"Well...I got her a cab, anyway...but I did more good than harm! Where were you then, huh?" 

[clickityclackitsjack-blog]

notasbadastheysay replied to your post:"Are you being an asshole again, Jack? Cause I'm getting REALLY sick of having to remind you what personal space is over and over."

"You almost got me to laugh at that one."

"It wasn't a joke, smartass."

[aroseredrevolution-blog]

"So what brings you backtracking to the Farm? Last time I checked the Valley area wasn’t really exactly on the way to California."

[clickityclackitsjack-blog]

"No. You're right, it's not. It's definitely not."

"Just wanted to ask a small favor is all. Seriously. You won't even be too bothered because it's not even that staggering in effort." 

[clickityclackitsjack-blog]

"Are you being an asshole again, Jack? Cause I'm getting REALLY sick of having to remind you what personal space is over and over."

"Wha—?? Hardly! I don’t know what you’re getting at, Sheriff. I’m perfectly innocent.” 

[clickityclackitsjack-blog]

buildthatwall-builditstrong replied to your post:I’m Jack Horner and I JUMP across the street

im jack horner and EVERYTHINGS A JOKE

(laughing)

[clickityclackitsjack-blog]

I'm Jack Horner and I JUMP across the street

[aroseredrevolution-blog]

"You’re making her uncomfortable, dipshit.”

[clickityclackitsjack-blog]

"What?"

"I'm giving her positive attention, not holding a knife to her. Relax." 

[clickityclackitsjack-blog]

"What the heck? Whoever heard of ice cold breezes in summer? Must be the unpredictable New York weather..."