GOTTA BE SOMEBODY

{DE-AGED!CLINT WEEKEND!} CLINT BARTON, THOUGH SOME PEOPLE CALL ME HAWKEYE. I USED TO BE PART OF A SECRET GOVERNMENT AGENCY BUT THAT DIDN'T WORK OUT SO NOW I SAVE THE WORLD WITH A BUNCH OF CAPE-WEARING FREAK-HUMANS. OH, AND AN ALIEN GOD. (indie MCU rp blog. muse&mun 21+, NSFW)

[clintbartonhawk-blog]

If anyone is in the mood, I’m around all day.

[alicias-vikander-deactivated201]

Actual footage of master assassin Clint Barton sticking his tongue out at Thor.

[rpmemes-andstuff-blog]

Our museds are camping! Send me a ^ for something that happens while camping.

1-20 Some angsty, some may be triggering (Snakes, wasp/bee/hornet) (Murder), Some fluffy, some may be NSFW. Feel free to re-roll if you land on one that you’re uncomfortable with.

Roasting marshmallows and one catches fire.

The tent catches fire.

It starts to rain

Our mused go fishing, and mine gets pulled in by fish on their line.

Our muses go hiking, and spot a wild animal. (Roll 1-2 to see if it attacks. 1-it just keeps walking 2- it attacks.)

It’s too dry to have a campfire but our muses do anyways

They get lost trying to find wood for the campfire

A bear comes to their campsite and starts taking their food. (Does not attack)

My muse is stung by a bee/wasp/hornet.

One of our muses is bitten by a snake and must get to the hospital. (Roll 1-2. 1-my muse 2- your muse.)

Our muses go skinny dipping

They count the stars

While hiking one of our muses twists their ankle.

Our muses go canoeing.

Our muses build a make-shift swing on one of the trees

They forgot to bring a tent, and now must either sleep under the stars, or build a shelter.

Our muses brought an RV packed full of stuff to make it just like home.

My muse forgot to bring the marshmallows.

Crazy axe murderer attacks.

The tent falls down on them while they are asleep.

[clintbartonhawk-blog]

De-Aged!Clint Saturday

WEEKEND! Woke up this morning with a craving for teen!Clint, so I figured why not spend at least today, maybe also tomorrow, playing 16-ish year old Clint.

So, unless it’s part of benjidunnimf and my main verse, or russianchildatprayer and my main verse, you’ll encounter de-aged Clint. Hope no one minds?

[clintbartonhawk-blog]

So, someone *raises eyebrow* made me watch Brave today.

Sorry Tony, no longer an insult. That chick rules!

[benjidunnimf]

Running Away From Your Problems (and ex-husband) || Clint & Benji

[benjidunnimf]

Benji spun around to look at him. 

"You clearly think that I’m gonna run off again and sure, maybe I would love nothing more than to get away from you. But I’m not stupid. And my family seeing you come in there with me is just going to cause shit. I just want to get in there, grab the boys and come back out. Can you at least trust me to do that?" He understood Clint’s hesitance to let him out of his sight, considering he had run from him twice already and that there was someone trying to kill him, but this was already going to be difficult enough without his cousin starting to yell at Clint over a history that he did not remember. 

[clintbartonhawk-blog]

Clint narrowed his eyes, try as he might feeling angrier again. Dunn just ended up pushing his buttons with pretty much everything he did.

"Well good to fucking know that you're not stupid, because all I've been seeing is you not letting me do my fucking job!"

The moment the words were out of his mouth, he wanted to take them back. While the essence still rang true to him, the way he said it ... yeah, that wasn't fucking OK. But it was like everything concerning Dunn was a raw nerve, throbbing and itching and exploding with pain and emotion from the lightest touch.

Before Dunn could respond, Clint held up a gloved hand.

"No, shit, that came out wrong. True but ... not right. Sorry for that, uhm." Why did he even talk? Clint squeezed his eyes shut for a second, willing the pain away that was so harsh right now, he could nearly taste it, hear it as a high-pitched ringing in his ears.

"OK, fine. You go in alone but I'll not fucking lurk here in a backalley. I'm coming to the door and if ... whatever their names are, if they start bitching, I'll take care of it. I'm a SHIELD agent, I can fucking do this."

[duratum-deactivated20201026]

SEMI-SERIOUS PLAYFIGHTS THAT END WITH ONE PERSON PINNED TO THE FLOOR/WALL AND ACCIDENTAL FURIOUS KISSING THO

[benjidunnimf]

Running Away From Your Problems (and ex-husband) || Clint & Benji

[benjidunnimf]

The fact that Clint knew exactly how to get to his cousin’s home made him feel angry, to think that he had obviously followed him and watched the house prior to their meeting. But he pushed that feeling aside as they reached the house. 

At the question, Benji froze, not looking forward to having to be honest about how he had explained everything. 

"Well, Daisy doesn’t know what I’ve been doing with IMF, she just knows me as a technician. So therefore she has no idea that you cut me open and hurt my children." The words came out with a little malice, but he pulled it back. "I told her you cheated on me and so I kicked you out. So you might want to stay outside considering Timothy has a nasty right hook on him." He turned around and moved towards the door, wanting to just get inside, get the children and leave. 

[clintbartonhawk-blog]

For a second, Clint opened his mouth to argue. Then he snapped it shut because, well. What was he supposed to say? It was a. true and b. it was the easiest way to explain their situation.

When Dunn began to move on, Clint jumped after him. "Yeah, that's not gonna happen. I'm not gonna let you out of my sight again until this shit is sorted."

Clint sighed. "Look, can we just agree to put the whole other crap on hold? Be a team until we get the kids somewhere safe and then, whatever, scream at me until your head explodes or whatever but I'm really sick of you fighting me every step of the way when all I wanna do right now is help you, OK?"

[benjidunnimf]

((Please for the love of all things holy, someone pair Simon and Jeremy together for the MI5 press tour because those are some shenanigans clintbartonhawk and I need in our lives.))

[rpmemes-andstuff-blog]

Our museds are camping! Send me a ^ for something that happens while camping.

1-20 Some angsty, some may be triggering (Snakes, wasp/bee/hornet) (Murder), Some fluffy, some may be NSFW. Feel free to re-roll if you land on one that you’re uncomfortable with.

Roasting marshmallows and one catches fire.

The tent catches fire.

It starts to rain

Our mused go fishing, and mine gets pulled in by fish on their line.

Our muses go hiking, and spot a wild animal. (Roll 1-2 to see if it attacks. 1-it just keeps walking 2- it attacks.)

It’s too dry to have a campfire but our muses do anyways

They get lost trying to find wood for the campfire

A bear comes to their campsite and starts taking their food. (Does not attack)

My muse is stung by a bee/wasp/hornet.

One of our muses is bitten by a snake and must get to the hospital. (Roll 1-2. 1-my muse 2- your muse.)

Our muses go skinny dipping

They count the stars

While hiking one of our muses twists their ankle.

Our muses go canoeing.

Our muses build a make-shift swing on one of the trees

They forgot to bring a tent, and now must either sleep under the stars, or build a shelter.

Our muses brought an RV packed full of stuff to make it just like home.

My muse forgot to bring the marshmallows.

Crazy axe murderer attacks.

The tent falls down on them while they are asleep.

[clintbartonhawk-blog]

Mixed List of One-Liners

"Is it still illegal to perform an autopsy on a living person?"

"I don't like your clothes, take them off."

"The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list."

"Stop making me question my heterosexuality."

"He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise."

"Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014."

"I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"

"If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining."

"I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?"

"You texted all our friends a picture of me with the caption 'I'm going to tap that'."

"I think it's about time you come out of the closet."

"You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning."

"Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me"

"Fair warning, I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week."

"I invited him in for 'coffee', and at an unexpected turn of events we actually had coffee."

"Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak."

[benjidunnimf]

Running Away From Your Problems (and ex-husband) || Clint & Benji

[benjidunnimf]

When Clint moved away, he felt as though he could breathe a little easier. Partially because the pressure of Clint’s body was gone but partially because being pressed up so close to the other man after so long had made him hurt inside. 

He shifted out of the small space, standing up and wiping his jeans down as he did. Following the other man out into the street, he kept his eyes open and remained alert, taking the weapon from Clint when it was given. And then he was running after the other man, not wanting to catch him up but at the same time not wanting to fall too far behind because he could not be sure where the final attacker was. He would rather the man still be there trying to kill him than him be on his way to get the boys, Clint’s words had really struck something within him and he felt scared and angry and sick all at once. 

But he tried to keep it together because he needed to be calm for his children and also, he did not fancy being yelled at or reprimanded by the man running ahead of him. 

[clintbartonhawk-blog]

Clint tried his best to let his mind slip into mission space, but it didn't come as easy to him as usual. Too little sleep and the footsteps of his unknown past literally following behind him kept pulling him out. It was frustrating, but then what else was new? 

It wasn't until they nearly made it to the house that Clint realised something else.

"Uhm," he said after breaking his fast pace and signalled for Dunn to catch his attention. "What do your folks know about, well, me?"

Because they had been married, right? And by the look of things, it had been the real kind of deal, only missing the dog and the fucking picket fence. So Dunn's family would have met him, right? Or at least known about him. Did they know they broke up? Were never really together? Did they know what Dunn's work was? Oh shit, he should have thought of that before. But just thinking about meeting more people from his murky past had his head crackling with pain. He bit the inside of his cheek and ignored it.

[clintbartonhawk-blog]

From Bollywood to Hollywood

[russianchildatprayer]

The door hadn’t alerted Natasha which was worrisome enough - then again, she knew that Clint was on his way home, after all. The sound of his footsteps were enough to convince her subconsciousness that there was no need to reach for her gun or run into the baby’s room right away. She had meant to get up, really, right away, just another second of closing her eyes… Only when she heard his voice, she realized, she had fallen asleep again. She rubbed her eyes quickly and forced herself from the much too cozy mattress. No time to look in the mirror, and really no use. She always looked like Frankenstein’s daughter after many weeks of night duty.

At least she had thought to put on something remotely pretty, short and tight for the night instead of the usual vomit and saliva catcher that her tracksuits had become. She rustled through the nest of red curls on her head, that had to do.

"Hey."

No need to fight the relieved smile on her face when she left the bedroom and headed straight for her partner. The mission had been lengthy and annoying, nothing too dangerous, but she tended to be more edgy ever since their daughter had been born. Things were rough when you had no fucking idea what you were doing. Along the ever present fear of suddenly having to deal with losing him, there was also the thought now, what would happen to Ky when one of them would go down. How the other one would handle it. Clint would probably do a lot better than her. Anyway, couldn’t hurt to check every single report and every message he sent when he was gone, to make sure he was alright.

This time he didn’t seem to have jumped off too many rooftops. She could put her arms around him without being afraid to hurt him, sigh a deep breath against his chest without being aware of broken rips, press her lips to his shoulder without checking for a broken collarbone first.

"Sorry, I… I meant to get you myself. But…"

A light shrug followed, a glance to the door that lead to the room in their apartment that had become the center of their life 8 months ago. Of course she could have gone. Tony, Darcy, Bruce, Pepper, they’d have been happy to watch out. But somehow she couldn’t bring herself to leave the peanut alone. It was bad enough that Tony insisted on looking out for her tomorrow to give Clint and her some time to break the bed, as he had put it charmingly.

[clintbartonhawk-blog]

There really was no forcing the smile to his face, exhaustion be damned, when Clint spotted Natasha. He dropped his bag and wrapped his arms around her with a content sigh, feeling calmness settle over him. They were fine, Nat and Ky. Not that he exactly doubted her, but every time he wasn't around he still worried. Because so many things could happen and when he was halfway around the world, there was no way he could help. 

Just being back home, seeing that everything was still standing, let the anxiety pass.

"Hey gorgeous," he breathed happily, dropping a kiss on her hair. For a minute he just held her and leached off her warmth. 

"How's Ky?" were the next words out of his mouth and he couldn't help glancing in the direction of his daughters room. He'd missed her so much. The way her face scrunched up when she tried to concentrate and the little garbled sounds she made when he tickled her tummy. She was warm and small and so amazingly beautiful. God, he loved his kid.

"Has she been good? Sleep any more regular? Did she grow a lot? Still addicted to that awful rice-peach paste stuff? How's the teething going?"

Once he'd started, he couldn't help asking questions. Because if she was asleep now he wouldn't be able to hold her for a while and needed to get his fix elsewhere.

"I brought her a kangeroo thing," he grinned, letting go of Natasha to reach down and rummage in his bag to find it. "It's got like, the softest fur and has this cute button eyes and I kinda had to get it."

[clintbartonhawk-blog]

Morning muffin's

Anyone got any pizza bagels to spare?

[clintbartonhawk-blog]

My love for you was never bigger than right now, sugarlips.

[clintbartoon]

clint barton saying “nice” after literally anything he does. after waking up in the morning wrapped completely in his blanket: “nice.” after every single of one lucky’s tiny doggy snores: “nice.” after spilling coffee down his shirt the moment he puts it on: “nice.” after saying a really witty one-liner: “nice.” after tripping and falling down the stairs: “n..[wheeze]…ice.”

[clintbartonhawk-blog]

So I accidentally emptied a glass of water over my computer. Currently drying it. Goddammit, 15 years of being a computer nerd and now this noob mistake.