the world is my lobster

like 30. bideo bames. horny on main always, 18+. they/it

[clockworkrobotic]

I write reader inserts for freaks (affectionate)! I am open to suggestions for both fics and narrative beats. comments literally make my whole week & i try to reply to everyone

Always check the archive warnings.

🔥 sex

🩸 blood/gore

Original Works

The Law of Equal Exchange 🩸

3.5k words, 2/2 chapters

Demon/Reader. Splatterpunk-adjacent erotica about making an ill-advised deal after being failed by the medical establishment. No sex, but you are absolutely getting your insides rearranged.

Deadlock

Mousetrap 🩸

5.8k words, one-shot

Drifter/Reader. It's confusing enough that you, of all people, got grabbed off the street tonight, but even more baffling are the lengths they've gone to to keep you locked in the library. You're not a great spellcaster, so why is the door warded? Heavy gore, cannibalism, vampirism, guys who quip while they kill you.

Iron Lung

as far as the eye can see 🩸

850 words, one-shot

300,000L of Blood/Reader. The Iron Lung has sprung a leak, or several. You're not getting out of this one. The ocean welcomes you.

Borderlands

The Merger 🔥

5.8k words, 5/? chapters (ongoing)

Katagawa Jr./Reader. You broke into a Maliwan facility to steal blueprints, and everything has gone horribly wrong. You're also a siren, though you haven't figured out what that means yet.

Exsanguinate (older work) 🔥🩸

2.5k words, one-shot

Tyreen Calypso/Reader. Ty comes back from a fight raging and injured, and there's only one solution for that. Bitey bloody PWP.

Servitude (older work) 🔥🩸

1k words, one-shot

Troy Calypso/Reader. D/s possessive PWP. Bitey, aggressive, split jaw headcanons

[greenlabcoat]

transition timeline but about halfway through im inexplicably a cackling green witch for a few months before continuing as normal

[clockworkrobotic]

i have this problem where sometimes horror media is like a religious experience for me and then ill show the thing to other people after hyping it up for weeks and theyll go "yeah that was pretty good! :)" and im like.....oh......yeah its pretty good........you dont feel like a different perosn now? you didnt experience complete ego death and spiritual rebirth?...............thats ok...............

[pooblet]

SOURCE

I SAW THIS & IMMEDIATELY THOUGHT OF @shrimp-bird

[diatere]

aww that's right, you want to be a good podcaster for mommy don't you? you want to epically own those teenagers with no media training in a debate, don't you? that's right. now, repeat after mommy: "counting or not counting gun violence"

#forced kirkification #forcekirk #mommydom

[swishersposts]

artists fuck better because we turn sex into art, masterpieces, mattresses become canvases where we can paint our love to someone with bodies.

[zsnes]

its like, impossible to come up with anything funnier than the experience of seeing this post

[targuzzler-deactivated20180224]

pharoahs fuck better because they ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh put the pussy in a scarmophogoghs

[gregtom]

[k-simplex-deactivated20241001]

Happy Pride

[fantashic]

I think every year they should replace the most used emoji with something basically no one would use.

"Congrats to the smile emoji for being the most popular one! It will now subsequently be replaced by a radiator emoji"

"In a shocking turn - beating out both the cry laughing AND the pink heart emoji - the green heart emoji is this year's winner! It will now be removed and in its place will be an emoji of a man lost in a parking lot"

This would accomplish nothing and make the world worse

[ellienamored]

i can think of uses

[mothcrumbs]

friends can be neck deep in a carcass with me btw

[mlarayoukai]

life changing tweet

[yossyislandd]

you can bet your ass if completely custom genitalia were a cheap and easy thing i would have a strange and unusual pussy situation

[yossyislandd]

gynecologists HATE this one for its bioluminescent oyster pussy

[enigmalock]

some more of these deadlock textposts. im having fun making these

my other posts 1 | x | 3

[clockworkrobotic]

I need the evil bitch from thermodynamic lawyer carnally

[trilli0ntv]

kindred

alt under cut LOL

[clockworkrobotic]

The thing about rollerskates is that youll think to yourself, well its just shoes with wheels right? how big can they be? How heavy can they be? And then youll be packing your bag for practice having just agreed to buy a second pair of skates from someone and realise youre gonna have to haul what may as well be a gym bag full of boulders home tomorrow

[diatere]

guy who just made roko's basilisk: wow, it's incredible. you're like some kind of amazing digital serpent

roko's basilisk: I'm killing you first

[gunzomi]

doing anything functional with audhd and explaining that to anyone is the whole shadow time prison comic

[gunzomi]

it's like this.