YOU'LL BE A LOVER IN MY BED AND A GUN TO MY HEAD . I'LL SHUT THE DOOR IF YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH. GO DRAIN ME OF MY LOVE UNTIL I'M LONG PAST DROUGHT ⸻ dependent and private blog affiliated with willowglen , featuring portia macedo harrison .
“ any guest who comes into my home with clean shoes and doesn't forget to take them off. it's as simple as that. i also value punctuality, and anyone who can appreciate good food. ”
what is your most prized possession in your home ?
“ my kitchen of course, because every good kitchen requires style and substance. followed by my masterpiece oven with professional handles, which features a variety of cooking modes, quick pre-heating, and wifi connectivity to monitor the temperature more easily. it's done wonders for all of my best dishes. if you look up, you'll see that the ceiling was hand-painted by a professional painter from france.”
do you have any home improvement projects lined up ? what are they ?
“ well there's always something that can be improved. the best sort of housewives never lay their cards out on the table so easily. the only thing that i can say is that i'm never resting. ”
does your home have any custom - made pieces ? if so, what are they ?
“ too many to count. from custom pantry shelves with designated places for every item that is labelled to monogrammed silver cutlery, which i got for my wedding, it's really impossible to name them all now. i even had custom towels imported from egypt, made of cotton harvested in the nile river valley. ”
when was the last time you used your pool ?
“ i actually use it on a daily basis, but in the traditional sense, per se. once i'm done with pilates, cooking, and cleaning, i find myself lounging, out in the sun, by the pool with my favourite books. i love a leather-bound classic. or you know, i'm just there working on my cookbook and latest recipes. i find that the water helps me keep my mind calm, and though it hardly makes sense. even clean. don't you ever get the urge to put your head and heart into the washing machine and give it a good spin? maybe it's just me. ”
( cont. @closenoughs ) “you must have really green thumbs,” evan smiles wide, “i’m still learning, there are lots of variations sprouting in mine.” he says with a sheepish grin, before he nods in agreement. “yeah—jam, definitely. my son loves these strawberry jams that we make and we usually have them for breakfast. or a compote. probably some strawberry juice too.” he chuckles softly, “there are too many things, but yeah, jams are the first step!” he picks another strawberry before calling it a day, “do you need any help dropping those off?”
“ i do, ” undoubtedly. portia had a talent for making things look right. her life, her marriage and her verdant garden — though some endeavors were ostensibly more successful than others. a collection of silk award ribbons, neatly displayed and bearing her name, would tell you that much. “ the trick is to weed out any mock strawberries. despite how they look, they're quite invasive,” she says, this time hardly smug, but always self-assured. “ how is ace, by the way?” the boy her youngest has grown so fond of. “ and yes, i thought you'd never ask. ”
he lets her have his hand a second longer than necessary, gaze drifting away from her, clocking the rest of the set - up.
portia. of course it is. sounds both expensive and doomed. a cookie - cutter name for a cookie - cutter life, lived by the perfect cutter of cookies who knows exactly how much lemon zest goes into an apology.
" neither, " he releases her hand with a faint smile, like he's just tested out a roomba and decided to go with a dyson. or maybe just would prefer step into a situation less freaky: the men always die in those kinds of movies, he'd rather not be the victim to an unhinged malfunction. he will not begrudge her the eventual breakdown and she is entitled her feminine rage, he'd just like to get out of the line of fire.
his gaze is sliding past her to the table again. " i'm here under false pretences. was told there'd be coffee and children performing minor civic duties. " the uptick of his lips suggest this is a joke, they'd donated generously and he's representing. a courtesy fifteen minutes out of which five have already been heroically survived.
" so that's the rule then ? " he asks, reaching past her to take one of the cupcakes after all, turning it between his fingers like a specimen. " no preservatives. no additives. no mess. no ugly little store - bought thing with blue frosting and enough red dye to make a child see god ? "
he sets the cupcake back in its perfect little place, rejected again on the second pass.
" sounds exhausting. "
his glance back at her comes just in time before it becomes unkind, smile polite.
if she hadn't been preconditioned to live like this, perhaps she would've agreed. instead, she was thawed like raw meat, prepped and readied, pan-fried for a spectacular feast and a life in willow glen, where happiness is sold separately from the house.
“ there's coffee at least. let me guess, you take yours with no sugar. extra strong, ” she grins, half indulgently, hardly caring if she's right or wrong about the assumption she just made.
he mentions frosting. something about dyes. she can't read his mind, arguably. but she could at least try. “ would you like to see god, cade? ” this time, she diverges from the prewritten script of adequate remarks and quips, the ones that any woman of her ilk would use to counter, parry and riposte, letting her mouth change shape in order to fit his name so that it doesn't escape her memory. she tests it, tastes it, playing with it like it's hard candy.
it's no better than a jawbreaker.
“ they're not meant for you, either way. ” portia knows her way around, most likely more than he does, knows how to bend and twist at the hip, work the room, dance around any conversation and repartee, the same way people learn to dodge furniture in the dark, when the lights are off. at this point, it's purely based on instinct. the body remembers. keeps scores. maps out the distance. “ so, does it truly matter? ”
“ penelope, ” she calls out to her daughter, timeless in her elegance, as though hewn from cold marble, barely bending to acknowledge her youngest, reaching forward only to brush a delicate lock of hair from her face. any other form of affection would have to wait. a moment later, she's already turning, seeking a familiar face— that of a woman who orbits her daughter from early morning hours, each and every day. “ ms. costanza i've been meaning to catch up with you. i must know, or rather, stay up to date with any progress in penelope's current education. ” portia thinks that this is love. “ how is she doing? are her skills up to par with those of the other children? don't be shy when it comes to the details, please. ”
LATE AFTERNOON, WILLOW GLEN ACADEMY, portia & @fawnvinyl
closed starter: jude & portia @closenoughs - portia’s home
jude has always liked to think of himself as an animal lover and that overall he radiated good enough vibes that any animal he encountered would be able to pick up on that. like, jude fully believes that if he came across a wolf in the woods somewhere were he ever lost that they would come out friends in the end. it’s why when he ran into portia in the pet supply section of the store that he offered to take her dog on walks whenever he had the free time and the dog needed to go out. he grew up with his mom’s poodle so he was familiar with the breed. or so he thought. whatever good vibes jude thought he was radiating with this demon dog were clearly not compatible ‘cause winston seemingly had it out for jude. impossible to think this sixty pound angelic looking poodle would cause so much mayhem with a penchant of making him look like an idiot in front of portia. case in point: his jeans from the knee down soaked and caked in mud water ( from a puddle that jude has every reason to believe winston pushed him into, but somehow managed to avoid any stray splashes by the pristine white of his fur ) and dirt scattered across his hoodie and ass from said fall. “ portia, we’re back, ” jude calls out, lips pursed in a frown as he opens the front door and proceeds to stand on the entryway mat. winston lets out a bark and immediately runs inside. jude looks like a clown – a clown who isn’t trying to track dirt into portia’s pristine home, so he shuts the door behind him while hovering close to the door. “ odd request here but hey, first time for anything, right ?? ” jude starts with a slight incredulous lilt to his laugh, running a hand through his hair. “ could i possibly use your washer and dryer ?? earlier on our walk winston sacrificed me to the puddle gods and i don’t want to track any dirt in here. ”
every meal that portia cooks is a spectacle, a feast for both the eyes and the mouth, served on pristine plates next to polished silverware. it's a fantasy for most to catch a glimpse into her immaculate world — from her state-of-the-art bespoke kitchen, which had even been featured in harper's bazaar for its impeccable style and substance, and the best culinary tools that money can buy, to the most appetizing dishes that one would usually only find at upscale dining venues. to simply watch her against such a backdrop is an art form, a delight for all the senses. on rare occasions, she even films herself. allows a professional crew to enter her kitchen. becomes a star for a day. so with her children at school, her husband at work, and her dog in the trusted hands of jude, portia had just enough time to finish filming the latest addition to one of netflix's cooking shows.
it's jude, however, who catches her off guard , fracturing the semblance she's spent years refining in a matter of seconds — which on its own is certainly an impressive feat. “ oh my , ” shock flares across her features at the scene unfolding before her, forcing her mouth to stay wide open, as if she's gasping for air. thankfully, the filming crew had left earlier in the day. “ how did this happen? you do know that my eleven-year-old walks winston around the neigbhhood, right? this is just , i— ” she had acquired winston at the behest of her children and husband, with the former promising to achieve top marks in class in exchange for a beloved pet. so portia naturally obliged and settled for a poodle with the finest pedigree, simply due to the fact that poodles hardly shed. but winston grew most fond of portia. chiefly because she carried herself like a true thoroughbred. she, in turn, respected him for never dirtying her couches. it was a mutual love in the end. “ i'll put your pants in the washer straight away. ” she swallows hard, almost unnerved, inspecting him from top to bottom. “ and also , i'll go get you something from my husband's closet while you wait . you two are probably around the same size. ”
he doesn't get why she laughs, he wasn't joking. it's pitiful really, the demise that'll befall these little cups of empty calories made only to power-up the little demons. " i'm pointing out that you chose your target audience poorly. s'not the same thing. " not one of those kids is going to appreciate the trouble she's put into these pristine designs, or remember them for that matter. " though i don't think you need a pat on the back for all this, i'm sure you've seen better days. " he has to squint against the golden halo her hair makes against the light, but once he can make out her features properly, he cannot help but stare.
it's official, he's stepped into one of those stepford wife - don't worry darling movies. " thanks, i don't do sugar. " a hand reaches out on tentative offer " cade. "
“ see , that's only a matter of perspective. my children are in that audience you speak of. i would never let them eat things packed with artificial preservatives and additives. ” she scoffs with such finesse that it almost sounds like a bona fide laugh. it's not just the cupcakes — portia, too, was made to be consumed. her smile, the arch of her sculpted brows, the way she laughs, what she puts in her dishes and cakes, even how she raises her children — every detail matters when others are looking.
“ well , that's a shame. i always try to use the best ingredients. ” it's a perfunctory remark, hardly earnest, denuded of any true emotions. “ portia, ” she says, clasps his hand, oozing self-assurance — the innate type of confidence that one is either born with or spends years trying to imitate. she demands attention simply by existing. yet her hand is gentle. “ do you work here ? or are you just chaperoning one of the kids? ”
portia's home is clean, if not sterile. immaculate. almost intricate, redolent of a fish bowl. perhaps at least by size, it would be more accurate to compare it to a marine aquarium — or those concrete pools in sea world that house even orcas. portia's a shark inside of a fish tank. she likes it of course. just how every shark likes to swim in circles until it grows bored. “ okay, so quesillo is in the oven and should be taken out in twenty minutes. in the meantime, i've laid out a tray of assorted hors d'oeuvres, ” which in portia's household is never just an ordinary charcuterie board. her amuse-bouches range from cheddar-stuffed mushrooms, crab cake bites, and broiled garlic-butter shrimp with lemon aioli to golden, airy cougères, which on average take at least an hour and a half to bake. she had been smart enough to wake up early this morning. “ please help yourself, ” she adds, reaching for the fine china kept on higher shelves, away from her children. “ coffee, tea, or something stronger? ”
it isn't like dallas to speed through his own neighborhood, but passing portia's house always gives him the feeling of fight or flight. spotting her in her yard, his foot instinctively hits the gas, accidentally swerves directly into her mailbox at the suddenness of it all. "shit, shit, shit." mutters as he steps out of his truck, inspecting the damage on the front of his grandpa's old ford first. barely a scratch, not something a little paint can't take care of. awkward wave comes next as he walks closer to the mailbox and the redhead walking toward him. "i'll pay for the damage i caused . . . i really don't know what happened."
some women have a talent for being seen. others for being heard. portia excels at both. firstly, there's the famously fiery red hair and perfectly coordinated clothes. then there's the sound of her heels and her voice, refined but cold. “ are you all right? ” she questions with calm composure, the sharp clicks of her heels against the stone pavement growing louder, a touch more decisive with each new step. there's still dirt on her knees from kneeling just moments prior to this — she's been gardening. obviously. “ why were you driving so fast in the first place ? you do realize that kids live in this neighborhood, right? ”
location: kids' rodeo livestock show
for: @closenoughs / portia
he's staring at the treat table , brows furrowed as if it's a museum exhibit. the icing on the cupcakes are immaculate. it's a kids' event, these look like they belong in a gallery, every perfectly synchronised stroke of cream or mousse or fondant or . . . whatever that is. " do the children actually eat these or are they expected to salute first ? "
she looks at him, up and down, then laughs like she's actually heard something funny. most men always assume that they're the next prodigy of comedy. what a shame it is that this one didn't even try. “ if you want to compliment my cupcakes, just say it, ” portia mutters, almost buzzing, pulled to him like an insect to anything sweet that's been left outside for long enough. here's the kick, little fork in the road. bees only sting to survive, wasps just because they can. “ go ahead, try one. ”
if anyone's excited for strawberry picking season, it has to be evan. he has a bunch of dessert recipes he'd love to try. he plucks a few of them and takes a good whiff, nodding in approval at the sweet smell. "if you don't smell anythin', means they're not ripe." he adds them to his basket, beaming in satisfaction as they're almost filled. he picks a large piece, showing it to them. "we're looking for all red strawberries like this one, the ones with white or green need a little more time." evan adds it to their basket, "d'you have any idea what you're gonna make?"
“ i prefer the ones from my garden, but at least these look better than those from the local markets, ” her smile sharpens — to such a degree that makes it hard to forget just how easy it is to disappoint a woman that could never embrace anything short of perfection. “ well naturally. i'm starting off with jams, a cheesecake for my daughter, and then, this new recipe that i've been working on. ” one out of many in her cookbook that's not even a real cookbook but a set of ideas committed to paper that hardly ever see the light of the day. “ ... and you? ”
★ ˖ ⊹ 𝑜𝑝𝑒𝑛 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑟𝑡𝑒𝑟. pov your car broke down.
↳ 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐬 … accepting , 0 / 5
𝞋𝞎 ˖ ⊹ the car had been coughing smoke for near a mile before finally giving up altogether , stranded crooked on the shoulder with one tire sunk halfway into the muddy ditch. willow glen traffic wasn’t much , but the few cars that passed still rattled his old pickup every time they flew by. chet had pulled over ten minutes ago , muttering something about “ people ignorin’ warning signs ‘til the damn engine explodes , ” before shoving his truck into park. now he stood under the raised hood in a grease stained white tee and faded levi’s , one hand braced against the metal while the other disappeared somewhere deep in the engine guts.
the scent of motor oil mixed with cigarette smoke curled around him in the cooling evening air. “ nah , there’s yer problem , ” he grunted finally , glancing over his shoulder with a crooked smirk. “ radiator hose looks like it got chewed up by the devil himself. ” he wiped his hand off on an already ruined rag , eyes dragging over them beneath the brim of his trucker hat. “ good news is i can fix it. bad news is you owe me a beer after this , ‘cause i am missin’ the race reruns for your busted ass. ”
“ it's a rental, mister . ” provided by the showrunners of ' what's for dessert, dallas ', the latest masterpiece of modern daytime television that simply had to have portia make an appearance. of course, if she had been in her own car, this wouldn't have happened — the one she regularly takes to a mechanic, paying hefty prices just for regular oil changes. “ good, good, i'll have a whole case of beer delivered to your address. to sweeten the deal, i have so many cakes in the back seat that are waiting to be eaten. they're not going to last much longer without AC to keep them in shape. ” there's something about the way she says it that makes it sound measured. practiced. polished. almost performative. this is the voice of a scrupulous woman fluent in the language of persuasion.
“ i'm of course talking about croquembouche, gateau saint honoré, mille-feuille, blackberry cobbler, and alabama lane cake, with extra bourbon. ” smacking her lips together, red against red, she steps forward, sauntering closer to the hood of the bmw despite wearing white, ironed to perfection, tailored to fit her exact measures. “ and i think you might just be the type of man who'd say yes to extra bourbon. ”
⋆ ⭒˚。 [ marina ruy barbosa, cis woman, she/her, muse q. ] was that PORTIA MACEDO HARRISON i just saw over at CANYON VALLEY COUNTRY CLUB ? you know, the THIRTY-TWO year old HOUSEWIFE that’s been around willow glen for HER ENTIRE LIFE. people around town say they can somehow both be PEDANTIC and RESILIENT, but if you were to ask them, they’d probably say they’re more like RED HAIR PERFECTLY KEPT SO THAT NOT A SINGLE STRAND IS OUT OF PLACE, SIGNATURE GLOSSY RED MANICURE TO MATCH WITH HER PEARLS, STAYING UP ALL NIGHT UNTIL EVERYTHING'S JUST THE WAY SHE LIKES IT . the town sure has been rumbling about them lately, apparently they HAVE A PICTURE-PERFECT MARRIAGE THAT'S FALLING APART AT THE SEAMS . . . but who knows if that’s true, i guess i’ll just have to stop by REDBUD MANOR and find out !
i.
NAME PORTIA FIDELO MACEDO HARRISON NICKNAMES POSY ZODIAC VIRGO SUN, LEO MOON, VIRGO RISING DOB SEPTEMBER 4TH GENDER CIS WOMAN PRONOUNS SHE/HER PLACE OF BIRTH WILLOW GLEN, TEXAS RELIGION CATHOLIC LABELS/TROPES BITCH IN SHEEP'S CLOTHING, CONTROL FREAK, DEFROSTING ICE QUEEN, MY BELOVED SMOTHER OCCUPATION HOUSEWIFE LANGUAGES PORTUGUESE AND ENGLISH EDUCATION BACHELOR OF SCIENCE (BSC) IN ECONOMICS
HEIGHT 167 CM HAIR NATURALLY RED EYES HAZEL, ACCENTUATED BY HER RED HAIR IN CONTRAST SCENT MON GUERLAIN , ALL OF THAT LAVENDER AND VANILLA SIGNATURE FEATURE RED HAIR THAT'S ALWAYS PERFECTLY BLOWN OUT INSPIRATION BREE VAN DE KAMP ( DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES ) , ELEANOR SUNG-YOUNG ( CRAZY RICH ASIANS ) , LILY VAN DER WOODSEN ( GOSSIP GIRL )
FATHER PAULO FIDELO MACEDO MOTHER CAROL FIDELO MACEDO SIBLINGS NONE SPOUSE TBA HARRISON CHILDREN GABRIEL HARRISON ( 11 ), TOMAS HARRISON ( 9 ) , PENELOPE HARRISON ( 5 ) PETS A VERY HIGH MAINTENANCE POODLE NAMED WINSTON
ii.
to understand portia, one must go back to the very beginning of the story, because everything starts with a father and a mother, both the horror and the fairy tale. an only child of paulo and carol macedo, raised with a high pressure to succeed, and an indelible desire to always be best, and never come second. carol, much like portia is now, was a neurotic perfectionist and a woman hardly fitted for motherhood — both traits trickled down like poison eventually, leading portia to live the way she does.
it goes without a saying that portia always excelled at most things in life, from school and pseudo faux social life, to skills like baking , dressing and elite-level gardening, with every rose having its perfect place and colour in her family's sun-drenched roseraies. the macedos were of course wealthy, which to a degree, made the notion of mastering these things all the more important, almost vital for survival.
a daughter sees her mother put on pearls, brush her hair and pretend to love her husband. a daughter sees, and a daughter does as she's told.
the first taste of freedom came at a university in austin, texas, where she subsequently met her current husband, and though she never rebelled, trouble still followed her. while still studying, she got engaged, and quickly married, because for a moment in time, she loved just how different he was. she loved him for his daring spirit and her parents loved him for the money he possessed, the legacy that the two of them were bound to make.
at twenty-one, she was already pregnant ( honestly, my shayla should've been at the club ), working on her degree and the final touches needed for her new home. everything was perfect. or rather, if you tell yourself enough time times that everything is perfect, then sooner or later, you'll start eating up your own lies. as well as your heart. ( the type of girl who would bleed from her nose and eyes after saying 'i do' )
it's hard to pinpoint where it all went wrong, really. three children down the line, a house so big it's easy to get lost if you're not careful, all that money down the drain on dinners, private hosting, country clubs, tutors, and even a dog. the place where something warm once lived is now vacant, replaced by the resentment portia's husband holds towards her for her perfectionism. she loathes him in contrast for just how careless he is.
but here's the catch. no one else knows. because portia won't let them see. to admit such a thing would be tantamount to death. she has everything, everything that she wants and has always wanted, sans the joy that somehow got subtracted from her perfect equation.
she's a control freak, in every sense of the word. everything must always be according to her whims and whishes. she has an awful compulsion to clean and tidy everything ( marie kondo on steroids ) because that's the only way she feels good about herself. nothing is ever out of place. hair, jewels, rings, clothes. she'd rather lose a night of sleep than look anything less than presentable. she's been a housewife from the moment she graduated, so she certainly knows how to put on a good show for the crowd until her cheeks are hurting from all the unnecessary, faux laughs. she bakes and cooks, exceptionally well, even if she could technically pay someone else to do it. she makes the most decadent ginger layer cake one can imagine, and has even won an award for it ( it's not the only award she's won for baking / cooking , but it's her most famous one ). she brings it to almost every gathering / celebration and trust me, you'll be a glutton after you try it. the secret of course is that she makes it all from scratch ( looking nara smith right in the eye )
sadly is cold-blooded in a sense. it's up for debate if she should've been a mother in the first place, since she's rather strict, and cares a little too much about her children's education / behavior over their feelings. she and her husband clash on it because he spoils them too much.
she's tries and tries and tries, and she's so good at being the best. it's just that no one's ever told her just how empty the feeling can be.
though some people may perceive her as a bitch, simply for her haughty demeanor and how she handles everything with practiced poise , she's incredibly loyal and would sacrifice anything for the people she cares the most about, including the close circle of her friends despite being deeply emotionally repressed.
always cooking for the people that she loves and also to show off. say what you may but you won't beat her at this game.
portia drives a porsche-a ! red of course to match with her nails when she's picking up her kids from school.
he father took her hunting when she was a child. it was the most fucked up father-daughter bonding time you could imagine. a part of it is why portia is currently allergic to crying or any public displays of emotions.
spends her days reading, going to the country club and other lounges, doing pilates. you'll eventually spot her on some gardening magazines as well as cooking shows as a guest star.
won miss texas back in 2013 when she was just 20 years old.
Marina Ruy Barbosa attends the "Horizon: An American Saga" Red Carpet at the 77th annual Cannes Film Festival at Palais des Festivals on May 19, 2024 in Cannes, France.