god thereâs something so emotionally genuine about cap 3/avengers 3 tony in particular thatâs just⊠itâs just these glimpses of casual, unassuming generosity. toward strangers. toward people heâs just met
he shares a patched up memory of the last time he saw his parents with a student audience, as part of a call to âreframe the future.â he acknowledges that the young people in that room are dealing with âsome of the greatest challenges mankindâs ever known.â and he isnât just talk, heâs there to fund all their research. heâs not claiming any credit for himself
the staff forgot to take pepperâs name off the teleprompter. they couldnât have known how that would knock tony off-balance. he took both arms of the woman who came to apologize to him and told her it was fine
charlie spencerâs mother gives him a perfect opening, a perfect opportunity for some cocky comment: âit was nice what you did for those young people.â tonyâs hurt and alone and he wants to leave quietly and he doesnât want to talk and heâs never seen this woman in his life and he doesnât take that opening to make the self-aggrandizing comment that the woman might have expected. he says that those young people deserved that money. he acknowledges his guilt to a complete stranger
he apologizes for how his hypervigilance manifested. he doesnât interrupt ms. spencer a single time while she communicates her grief and blames him for what happened to her son. he doesnât say a single word in self-defense.
he looks up charlie spencer. he looks at pictures. he memorized his GPA. he publicly acknowledges the way charlie had been more mature than him at his age. âthatâs charlie spencer, by the way. heâs a great kid.â and his voice was barely steady.
âweâre taking a break,â tony tells steve, about pepper. âitâs nobodyâs fault.â
heâd been developing suit upgrades for a kid heâd seen on youtube. heâd never met this kid. tony stark sits on a computer and he sees random kids in videos and he says: âi want to help them.â he gave peter his full attention and empathy while peter described his motivations as spider-man. not once did he invalidate the kidâs drive.
he goes on morning jogs with pepper. he talks to her about the dreams heâs had, the weird dreams where he had to pee, the good dream where they had a kid. he tells her and heâs so earnest. âit felt so real.â he wants to protect pepper from the monsters in his closet. there are so many monsters living in his closet.
âno more surprises,â he tells her. heâs trying his hardest to just make it work. he automatically reaches for her when he feels threatened.
tony takes bruce in his arms when he almost collapses.
heâs been carrying the phone steve sent him in his pocket wherever he goes. the mere idea of steve still hurts him, but for a moment there, he braced himself to put all his hurt aside to call him, because he recognized that the situation was bigger than that hurt.
thereâs some kind of commotion outside. people are screaming. tonyâs the first to step outside. the world is falling apart around him and he stops to help one woman up. he worries about evacuating civilians.
bruce canât hulk out. tony tells wong to watch over him, and steps up himself.
âunlock 17A.â just how many mechanisms has tony created specifically to protect this one kid whoâs dying to be like him?
he tell pepper heâs sorry. he still calls her âhoney.â
heâs in space, heâs confronting his nightmare scenario, and he doesnât want to route the ship back home. he canât bring this fight to earth. heâll go to an unknown planet to make sure this fight doesnât happen where thereâs people.
itâs all a scenario that has been haunting his nightmares for years. heâs gonna face it in the hopes that others wonât have to.
he tries to ground strange. he has âi know what itâs like when your mind tortures youâ written all over him, all over everything he does and says.
the plan is almost working. they almost have that gauntlet. but a grief-stricken peter quill is about to do something very stupid. tonyâs helmet disappears: âsteady quill. we almost have him!â he knows whatâs going on in quillâs head. he never invalidates the emotional turmoil. heâs without his helmet, risking his life to treat quill with as much sympathy as could be afforded in the moment. he never holds their failure against peter.
he tells strange not to do it. heâd rather die.
mantis disappears. drax disappears. tony turns to peter quill, and again: âsteady, quill.â heâs watching everyone go and itâs his worst case scenario and heâs trying to stabilize the others.
âyouâre all right,â he tells peter. he holds this kid until he goes away. itâs going to be in his head forever. peter and the whole world can come back a thousand times, but peter parker still sobbed into his arms, begging not to go, and he couldnât do anything.
âand if you die, i feel like thatâs on me,â he told peter once. he brought peter into this game. in the spaceship, when peter flippantly and nervously tells tony that technically itâs his fault that heâs in space, something about tonyâs expression makes him immediately apologize.
âiâm sorry, iâm sorry,â peter tells tony before he goes. because he knows. he knows it will be hell on tony.
(and heâs so much like him. itâs his last words and heâs going to use them to say how sorry he is.)
tonyâs heart is just hanging there on his sleeve, like, if anyone canât see it at this point then just⊠i donât know. i guess thatâs what makes his story feel so real. the discrepancies between how heâs widely perceived vs how he actually is are just so real. and i donât know if thatâs something that can be explained by the masks he wears anymore. at this point is more about whether or not people can accept change when they see it, whether people can admit that growth is possible, whether people are willing to empathize. because really. all the masks and armors tony wore in infinity war were there to protect other people. it was all so he could look at someone else and say, âsteadyâ and âyouâre all rightâ when nothing was. when he wasnât.
