tommy, saint or clover! : he / hym, permateen c18, demiboy, biromantic, mono, single. the one and only big man c!innit! doubles iwec i see myself as Your source giggle!!!! somtimes my headmates will post, too!
half devil, puppyboy, little brother extraordinare! i’m poggers and awesome so please be NICE, i’m super sensitive and fragile!! i have bnpd and and am the host of a system!!!! i am CLINGY and ANNOYING!!
i love minecraft!! i like video games, the internet, flowers, cute animals, collecting things, spooky things, writing art and reading !! im into brocon, age gap and con abuse!!!! im a freaked out PERVERT!!
open to any interaction, dms and asks always open - both with the condition that you are a GROWN UP!!! limited int with minors, no hitting on me please and thanks !!!!!
i LOVE sourcemates :: i will mostly post about wilbur and dream - if you are them, PLEASE int! i do SHIP with them though so PRIORITIZE YOUR BOUNDARIES!!!!
im doing ANOTHER ask bait game because i like assiging and judging people!1!1!1! give me a character or yourself to get a song, flower and creature!!!!
OKAY!!! i remember tubbo being great from when we first met. i was… somewhere with will? i can’t remember where but toby was sitting by himself playing something or other. i just sat near him, i remember just being bored and he was building something neat and he started explaining so i cold him it’d be cooler if he added some thing i don’t remember anymore. it just felt easy to talk to him - even at that age - maybe 5 or 6? - i didn’t usually tend to get along well with other kids and i felt awkward around them - but tubbo was easier. we became really really close - nearly inseparable. his dad kind of just…. gave him to will, so he was really always aroudn, it was great.
we’ve obviously been through a lot together - we faced EVERYTHING together from the disc saga to lmanberg. it just got complicated there. somehow l’manberg fell to him and he had to do what was safer for everyone - obviously i understand not wanting to be on dreams bad side. i know he couldn’t always protect me. i understand. i know it was all dream but im still angry and im honestly more angry that i’m angry. it’s hard do get over it.
at the green festival was the first time we properly made up. i felt so embarrassed about everything, about the discs and alleying with techno when i really didn’t get him. it was silly. and i should’ve known toby didn’t know about what dream was doing. of course nobody knew but it just felt like …. nobody cared either? it always kind of felt like he wanted me to sit things aside - that tended to be how he was. it was really frustrating we eventually got the discs sorted and we were almost as close as we had been.
i didn’t know how he reacted to my death obviously but when i came back i could tell he was uneasy but trying to be there for me but i also really resented being,,,, not his favorite anymore. it sucked. i got over it slowly but we weren’t really as close as we had been. it sucked.. :<
also i remember him being a littol goat boy with bangs that were over his bloody nose and weird freaky goat legs and a scar on his face.
uhm. this one is a bit difficult and may be triggering for some people to read, so read ahead at your own risk. my feelings about dream are complicated.
as previously mentioned, i was dropped off inSMP Kingdom at age 11. dream himself was charged with care of me by my father. i admit here and now that i was a difficult child. i was raised by a child who indulged my every whim and didn’t teach me firm nos - wilbur tried to raise me well, but he was only a difficult child himself. i was annoying, i was a bully to children my age and i certainly wasn’t respectful of my elders. i know my behavior was bad - i had never had someone tell me i couldn’t use their things or gotten in trouble i couldn’t laugh off. thus - i didn’t truly understand why everyone was so angry when i just carried on as usual in my new home - of course i understood they got angry with me but i just couldn’t really grasp why it was such a big deal so,,, i just kept pushing and pushing and pushing and i really do understand it was wrong but in the moment just.. didn’t see why everyone was being so stingy and mean and serious - it wS never like that at home
dream was a lot like wilbur in some ways : he’d smile and laugh even when he was angry, he’d speak calmly and explain why something was wrong at first - maybe he really was trying to reason with me but i just didn’t see the big deal and why we couldn’t just share and stuff - so i guess that’s when early on he decided i needed more than words.
dream hit, and he hit hard. wilbur physically pulled me off, put me down firmly or pushed me away when i was bad sometimes but id never been hit hard as punishment until dream. wilbur was always firm that i wasn’t allowed to hit either, so it was something i always hesitated to do. it really scared me that he hit me and form then on i really did try to avoid trouble with dream but. that didn’t go well.
one day i woke up to find my netherite gone - which was super worrying so i scrambled off to figure out the deal and basically sapnap told me he reallyyyy needed my help and he had my stuff so i kinda had to help him. anyway i did, and it was fun but then sapnap said we should mess with dream and i said. sure and all, but then dream got mad and somehow, he’d taken the music disc’s i liked so much and that started a big problem - and the first time i noticed thay dream… liked being in control of things. especially me.
we went back and forth for ages. i begged and begged - i didn’t apologize properly, i understand now maybe that would have helped and i didn’t WANT to make trades and sure that would have helped but i never even got to keep anything i took from anyone so i really don’t know why he wouldn’t give them back. eventually i came to have them again. it’s a whole thing.
anyway. dream never liked l’manberg, but the election was only partly his doing, even though i know deep down somehow, it was all going his way. i KNOW i made it worse. i KNOW i pushed his buttons but how was it fair he coukd even do that?! he got me exiled when we lost office and borrowed from george, and he dragged my arse out into the middle of nowhere and told me to stay. almost every day without fail he’d come :: breaking my things, kill anything alive and have me find a task to do for him. i wont go into detail what all that was like, you can guess. he’d tell me things i still don’t know how true they were :: what it was like in lmanberg, about what people were saying about me. it was maddening. i had never been alone so much before. i dreaded seeing him but he also was all there was. i still don’t know why he said those things, but i thought he must care, id he cared enough to be there at all. when he caught me save up he blew up my base - and i was so, so, so tired. i just wanted out. i wanted him to stop being mad and stop being mean and i want to just not wake up to this again. i decided to run away though. i was scared of death, i was scared of what he’d to me if i tried to die.
for a while i was just avoiding him and trying to move on but he always around. it was scary. it felt like stalking but i don’t really know. anyway eventually, he took the discs again and tried to kill tubbo and he finally got locked up. stupidly, i went to visit him and. fucking idiot moron asshole sam LOCKED ME IN THERE WITH HIM. i hadn’t done ANYTHING. i had been GOOD, i had been trying to MOVE ON and they put mw in there and didn’t care.
naturally, dream was pissed at me, and he spent all his time trying to freak me out. after a WEEK s told me that i wasn’t leaving. after three more days i got angry and got into a shouting match with sam and then dream and dream beat me. he fractured my skull and i think my brain started to bleed and i died. i spent what felt like - a year? in the train station. it wasn’t good or bad, it was mostly the shock of death. maybe if i had been gone as long as will i’dve though more of it. coming back felt really awful. i felt heavy and cold and sam finally let him out. i got dream to revive wilbur so that was good! i wanted to kill him, so bad. he killed ghostbur so brutally it was just awful but. will was back. i don’t know. i just felt like something bad was going to happen.
my memories start to fizzle after he broke out. he was everywhere. always watching. everyone knew what he did to me - if only vaguely, they could bloody see it on my face - my SKULL was DENTED but they just looked at ME funny. i felt uneasy, i wanted him gone. all i remember is the uneasyness really. i still…. think of him fondly sometimes? i don’t know man. i want to hurt him and i just want him to finally forgive mw at the same time. (for the record this all happened from ages 11-17 in my memories)
in less important news : he was taller than me - about will’s height, with these long ram antlers and goat ears like tubbo’s had but white with green fur inside. his knees were all fucked and weird like the other furries. his hair faded from white to a dirty blonde. i never saw his real face - not even once. he wore his stupid hoodie all the time. i swear he had the ability to look 10 feet tall sometimes.
wilbur was ~10 years older than me. OBVIOUSLY i don’t remember before i was born or when i was younger but i do know the basics of life before we moved to Dream Smp Kingdom. will was twins with techno and but they were never very close - papa took techno out to do what it was he was always doing but left will at home - and for a long time, it was like that - until mum had me and then we were alone together. wilbur raised me - i usrd to think that was cool but - i was ten when we moved from utah to SMPkingdom and i know that… that was probably not an okay thing to have happened. still, wilbur used to tell me he loved it - he detested being alone and having me meant he never was. wilbur didn’t care much for utah but i only ever remember being happy back then so i think it was good. we met toby in utah too and the three of us did ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING together for a while until one day a baby showed up on the door - and then the three of us became the four of us with baby fundy. i never met sally, wilbur didn’t talk much about her to us and he certainly didn’t aftet she ran off - but he seemed happy if a bit overwhelmed. we were always closest and hed always tell me and vent to me about stuff and id always try to cheer him up by bossing around toby so we wouldn’t make trouble for him TOO often. i love phil, but obviously wilbur raised me
ANYWHO. eventually when i was about ten - it was my eleventh birthday actually - when we moved to SMP kingdom - a remote ass forest village owner by a man named dream. philza settled me down with toby in his “care”, before fucking off who knows where again and will came to get us a monthish into the move. we were happy here but with will now being a proper adult he felt he needed to do something here with his “new life” and i happily agreed - so we started brainstorming. he was very into pot.s at the time and basically somehow we came to the conclusion we NEEDED independence from dream. at the time, honestly, i was already growing pretty scared of dream so i was really glad wilbur had already taken a distate for him and wanted to protect us from him - because i eventually realized that was what lmanberg was to him. but wilbur wasn’t built for pressure, he loved control and he had it in me but - people aren’t like that. if you rule them too closely they’ll come to hate that and more than that - no matter how much wilbur wanted lmanberg, dream wanted it more.
i watched wilbur break down - i know it couldn’t have been harder for me to see than it was for him to experience but id never at that point seen someone so upset and i didn’t know what to do At All. i tried to be there? i guess that was all i could’ve done but his own paranoia won out and, then he was just. gone. for a long time. ghostbur was around and when i was in exile it really, really helped but wilbur - wasn’t like that and it felt wrong to get too close to him you know? like i was replacing him almost. i felt bad about it. and then i went and doubled my own guilt by letting dream convince me of things and i pushed him away until he didn’t come around anymore.
i was… scared when wilbur came back. i don’t really know why anymore. i think i felt like i was going to be in trouble- with dream or wilbur i don’t even know i was just really scared. wilbur came back - not that different? meaner i guess but i was meaner by then too. we started hanging out again and it was good. my memories kind of dry up after i told him about exile besides just doing things together - he even started to stay at my base, but he always had this far away look that made me worry about him - he had a bad mean streak towards big q and ranboo it just seemed like he was really unhappy but i wanted to fix things really badly. i never felt wronged by him - i kind of felt like i wronged him by having dream bring him back just so id have SOMEONE who wouldn’t leave but i dunno. bleh!!!! anyway i love will a lot and i miss him so bad it drives me clinically insane.
also will looked like his skin - tall, stupid pretty boy face and smelly coat and all!!! my will had wings though.
ranboo was obviously our (me and toby)’s age, they were VERY tall mcyh taller than ANYONE should be enderman or not. he used any pronouns and tended to wear a suit or a dress with no in between which i found funny considering we lived in a AWFULLY muggy forest before they ran off to snowchester.
their hair was long as shit, they looked a lot like their skin - duel tone eyes and skin and a weird mouth like what your think of of an endermen
they always seemed so put together when we spoke but i know now that they obviously were Not…. i didn’t know what dream was doing with him, but id tell you it certainly wouldn’t have shocked me if i did!!!!!
he was always nice to me!!! i wasn’t always nice to him. we were never very close in a way??? even though we really did talk quite often - i don’t know. i was never actually too good at making friends but we had a lot of good moments!! i guess id say ranboo was one of the people who never abandoned or gave up on me so i do really appreciate that - i love tubbo to death, but its not like i could say that of him - not that i blame him
before dsmp was even a roleplay server dream was on some supervillain shit what do you mean he used ingame sounds and ripped the whole map apart just looking for tommys discs dude are you okay in the head?
blakekathryn
pixelskylines
gracieabrams
amandla
stormborns
yousharknotpass
areudirty