This is my main blog and TS2+TS1 simblr! :-) TS2 CC tag here.
You can find me on confetti-ts4cc and confetti4 for TS4.
This TS2 blog is currently inactive, but I follow from here!
i was active here 10 years ago in 2015 with ts2, after that i moved on to ts4 and largely stopped posting sims stuff online (ive shared a bit on other blogs than this now and then but mostly played privately). now ive installed ts2 and ts1 again due to the 2025 anniversary bringing in some fresh air and nostalgia.
the reason i struggled to finish projects and was flaky back then, is bc my life has always been awful and full of abuse. i kept that to myself and didnt have any support in my life for it. thats still the case today and i am not okay, but im here for the moment bc i felt like it.
i might not end up being active, and might end up leaving again quickly, we will see. im just doing my best to survive, and doing my best to find small joy in whatever thing i can, bc i cant feel a lot anymore. im going to put some heavy talk here under the readmore, but no need to read it if you arent particularly interested.
- confetti
ive been through really horrible things in my life, both back then (i didnt talk about it here) and in the present, its still ongoing. ive realised that the reason i was always struggling to finish projects or i was becoming paralysed from communicating and such, was bc of the constant emotional and mental torture ive been going through for basically my whole life. for other ppl, theres like, “oh i struggle to finish stuff bc i have adhd” and so on but in my case those things never clicked, it wasnt my issue. it took me until this past year (sadly due to extremely traumatising events, worst thing ive survived this far and ive barely even survived it. im doing really bad) to realise that everytime i was starting to feel a little bit safe and therefore motivated and excited to work on projects and make progress on improving my life, soon shit would come crashing down again (ppl around me being extremely abusive and sick and nobody around me who is stable and supportive and loving), i never got a break, and everytime shit came crashing down id be in so much suffering that i lost all motivation and energy to do things.
when you dont want to be alive, you dont have any motivation or reason to do anything, to make anything, or even to eat and shower. that was my issue and is still my issue now. constantly losing the will to live (bc of my circumstances being so bad) and then having to try piece it back together, only to have it torn away from me a week or two later, or a day later, all the time, over and over, that has been my issue. and it took me until the horrors of this past year to understand that, bc everyone (incl therapist and doctors and psychologists) kept giving me advice that never worked and wasnt relevant to me. its this simple. if you dont want to live, you feel no point to do anything, and you have much higher priorities (surviving, protecting yourself, trying to get yourself to eat, trying to get yourself to not hurt yourself, trying to find some way to get help, etc) than making art or socialising or whatever other stuff.
so it wasnt about not being able to focus in the adhd or anxiety way, and thats why those common advice never helped me, and realising that has made a big difference for me. it doesnt mean that i can suddenly focus and be productive, rather the opposite, bc my life is still hell. but now i know *why*. now i know why everytime when my life circumstances became a little more stable and hopeful, suddenly id be making stuff, and then id suddenly stop and go silent - bc of the abuse, torture, ive been going through, bc of the rug constantly being pulled out under my feet, the house of cards constantly being knocked down. i have a really shit life and as much as other ppl dont like to hear it, it is actually other ppls fault. ive been severely abused to the point its torture, and its bc of other ppl around me, my parents, bullies, my ex, etc, being really sick and abusing me. thats the reality for some of us. its easy to say “oh you cant let other people ruin your life (???), you just have to fight even harder to get away from everyone and rebuild yourself completely alone without support” for ppl who dont know anything about other ppls life. its victim-blaming and also ignoring the reality of how hard life is for many of us, that not everyone has the same opportunities and options. for example, being in chronic pain makes a lot of things way more difficult than for someone without pain, having social issues due to severe trauma makes it hard to work the only entry-level jobs that are available, being broke and without support limits you from education. etc.
so, im not here with the intent to be productive or reliable. the concept of being reliable (in productiveness or socialising) has always been frustrating and something ppl have shamed me for, bc nobody gave a shit to understand that ive been doing my best while being constantly tortured. its also still fucked up that you shame ppl who have issues with adhd or whatever, obviously. but i tried so hard to get help and to find answers for so long and tried really hard, i learnt all my skills alone without help, i tried to socialise, i tried to make things. and i kept hitting obstacles that nobody had any explanation to, if the adhd or anxiety advice didnt work then what else is there? turns out, being constantly tortured and broken down to the last drop of your soul and wanting to die for your entire life doesnt make it easy to live or to do anything.
so thats my story, in vague terms. and i dont have any plan to be reliable or productive or anything else bc right now my entire focus is to survive what im going through and to hope to somehow make it and somehow see a chance to a better future, but thats not something i have right now. i dont have any hope or future or motivation or anything. i dont have motivation to be alive. im fighting for it every day. but occasionally i feel a small moment of enjoyment from playing a videogame or doing some handful of other things that im not completely apathetic to (im now apathetic to the majority of things on earth), so on the days when i feel like doing sims stuff for a bit, i may be here and i may hang out for a bit, share some stuff, or socialise a bit. and my dms and asks and such are open, no problem, but if i dont reply, its not you, i’ll just be paralysed from despair and crying in bed and unable to log on and thats my life.
Hello! I just wanted to humbly ask if you'd be willing to upload the mesh and texture files you did a few months back for the Makin' Magic charm table? I'd love to have a go at finishing it myself (with full credit, obviously), but of course not if you haven't dropped the project, or feel uncomfortable about handing it off to the world! Thanks for your time!
hello :-)) thank you for the interest!! i’m planning to finish it before christmas, i’ve just had a lot on my hands lately. first i have to upload the clown carts that @crispsandkerosene very very kindly fixed for me (i’ve just not been on the comp much, it’ll be soon!), and then i was intending to have a look at that table again, because i know some of the meshing problems i was having are things i’ve gotten better at in the time between then and now.
but if i end up dropping it, sure, then i can upload the files as they are. i haven’t technically dropped any of my projects (the hot date flower stand is another -- i’m done with parts of it, but i’ve been putting off learning to make the flowers, because i had trouble getting transparency to work in-game before). :-D but i don’t mind the question at all just to be clear! if you would like to help make some of the textures for the charm table later, let me know, we can team up. <3
(in-between my aunt having a stroke last month and needing help during her recovery, my roommate also being post-op and needing more help than usual, then me trying to find a part-time job while also trying to finish various crafting projects in time for christmas (+halloween before), i’ve just been rather tired..... but no worries, i still think about sims every day :-P)
after hours of SimPE troubles, i’m giving up on getting these ready for simblreen (especially because i’ll be away tomorrow). uhhm, happy simblreen anyway! even if all i can give you is this screenshot...
i call it “nature takes back clowntastic land”. :-P
so, my project the past month has been making abandoned fairground kids’ ride carts (not based on TS1 since those already exist), because i personally need a lot more fairground CC than i can find, also thought this would be a little bit spoopy to some people. they’re not exactly like what i imagined but i’m getting so tired of working on them.... i’d love to make a whole “ride set” though, with rail track parts and stuff, but not right now.
i’d upload them if they weren’t borked -- they ended up flashing pink when i raised my game settings despite looking like the pic on low settings, i don’t know why that is. feel free to let me know if you’re very very interested in these, and/or could help me unbork them....
goodnight *wave* :-))
PHEW... and just because i took a break and did something completely different, afterwards i solved the uv map problem i’ve had for days!! now it’s just left to see if the uv maps will even work in simpe... otherwise i have to re-do them anyway i guess, hahhh. but i feel great, i managed to get that complicated thing working even if it might only work in blender (hope not).
btw, the past few weeks i had an issue with my browser where it would act like i was logged out of tumblr when i went on anyone’s blog, so that’s why i haven’t been liking anyone’s posts the past month (i didn’t have time to keep up with the dashboard). sorry if i seemed unfriendly :-P i might like-spam a few of you soon, hahah. after i finish my project, at least......
still working on my simblreen project inbetween IRL chores and exhaustion... but it’s starting to come together now :-D (please don’t get expectations, it’s just exciting for me because i’m still so new to being able to mesh in general.) i am almost done with the uv-mapping, so it’s soon only texture work and playtesting. (i had plans for additional meshes to make a set, but i doubt i’ll have enough energy... maybe after simblreen.)
for others who are learning to mesh, i really recommend trying complicated projects that you’re not sure you can do. you learn so much stuff every time that you will have an easy time doing simple projects afterwards, even if your complicated project never worked out. it’s a very rewarding feeling.
sorry for the inactivity (as usual :-PP), i’m busy with arts & crafts projects and real life things. i hope to finish at least some mesh project for simblreen (i should be able to unless certain real-life-things take more time than expected), but i’m not sure anymore if i can finish my original simblreen project because that might take too long. oh well, we’ll see. just letting you know i’m not hibernating, just having one of those months where other stuff takes away all simming time.... *wave*
i’ve started working on something for simblreen... which i hope will be very neat if i manage to finish it :-)) i’ll be a little slow checking tumblr for a week or so (hopefully not more) because i have stuff going on in life and my other hobbies, but i’ll be slowly meshing new things for later!
i keep starting up new meshing projects instead of finishing up the ones i started when i couldn’t access SimPE... :-Y
to be fair, i have yet to transfer them to this computer, but still. ahh i want to learn how to make columns so i can finish remaking the cute flag-garland columns/fences from TS1. i also want to learn how to make windows, but i’m a little scared about the multiple materials, transparency, and everything.
btw, playing earlier, i also realised just how many food/snack/drink stands TS1 had!! i had forgotten the sheer amount of them since last i played. TS2 had what, one coffee stand? laaaame. :-P
NOTE: i’ve fixed the reflectivity on the cups and the post now has updated DL links. :-) re-download if you were one of the 5 people who got them before i changed it (and if you don’t want them very reflective).
Cup of Pumpkin Spice Something! not my best texture since i got tired after working on the uv-mapping, but feel free to make your own recolours and whatever :-P it’s low-poly as you can see from the slight blockiness. next time i make a round object i think i’ll go a little higher, but this is still cute (in my opinion anyway).
♥ download at box.com, or, download at sim file share! ♥
found in the catalogue’s kitchen appliances - miscellaneous (it’s just deco but well, kitchen stuff :-7) and base game compatible as far as i know.
ETA, fix: i made them less reflective, DL links have been updated (the new zip is called "confetti_pumpkincup_fixedreflectivity.zip"), so DL that one and overwrite if you already got the first version and want the cups less shiny. :-)
random cup wip... i’m drinking a lot of hot chocolate and tea lately due to the cold weather :-P
btw, all 3D wip:s that i post are things i’ve “intended” for ts2, but i might end up dropping if there’s problems or i lose motivation, etc. it’s still 3D practise for me so i don’t lose anything by it. at the moment i’m trying to find a balance between low-poly and “too blocky”... problem is that i like blocky graphics, lol. (but if there’s an object you really want me to finish that i haven’t yet, feel free to let me know, and maybe i’ll work harder on it)
a low-poly piece of grass i made for practise... looks great in Blender but not working in ts2 :-S i’m too tired now hahhh. i’ll learn how to do this later i guess.
ETA: almost got it working, on my last try before giving up for today =w= !
