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he/him | profile by ollyc_herb on insta

[the-witch-of-the-wandering-ways]

My new period-appropriate crack headcanon is that the boston raiders once used akinator to figure out who montreal jane is and it kept telling them if was shane hollander and they kept thinking it was the weirdest fucking bug

[existennialmemes]

Companies in the 2000s: You wouldn't download a car! Digital copies are still stealing, even if the original copy remains with us.

Companies in the 2020s: That digital copy, which you have paid for, doesn't really belong to you. We're removing it from your library now.

[existennialmemes]

Companies deleting media you've literally purchased is 1000x more realistically "stealing" than digital piracy, you cannot change my mind

[wishing-winter-star]

worst and most embarrassing message i have ever received... im so ashamed...

[chuwenjie]

My painting of Sonam’s temple for Avatar Aang. Much of the work I did on this film was developing the style for the ancient flashback sequences!

[demigod-of-the-agni]

"they're putting him through the wringer!!" i say as i watch the 'putting him through the wringer 4' movie

[sith-shenanigans]

*looks at polyamorous triad* so which of you is the soldier and which is the poet and which is the king

[sith-shenanigans]

this is the perfect reblog post cancelled

[europe-abolitionist]

(popular leftist voice) these right wingers are so mad because they get no women. if you are a Good Person a woman will appear and suck your dick.

[lilkakow]

(popular leftist voice) these right wingers are all sooo poorrrr and stupid. They are stupid because they are poorrrr, racism would never exist in my suburban area

[lalatongzi]

Popular leftist voice: these right wingers must have brain damage. They must be bigots because they are literally reta suffering from blsck mold, or brain damage.

[prettyflyforajedi]

Popular leftist voice: Every single right-wing person is literally so ugly and chopped, let me point out their exact features and how they're ugly. Having bad thoughts literally ages you. Good People are always hot and sexy and have kind countenances.

[sandersstudies]

Every time you go in a public place and something ISN’T disgusting it’s because somebody cleaned it. Every time you feel comfortable using a public bathroom or sitting at a restaurant table or setting something on a gas station counter or playing on a playground it’s because somebody cleaned it.

Thank you to everyone who cleans the world, especially those who are underpaid and under appreciated.

[imissthembutitwasntadisaster]

Watching any movie before 2000 reminds you that people in movies used to be hot but like in a normal way

[harpyhormones]

again. bodily autonomy, fundamental bodily autonomy HAS to have room for people doing things with their own bodies that you do not and will not approve of. if it doesnt, it is not bodily autonomy

[pinkiemme]

TRICK'S FACE, EXCUSE ME WHILE I FAINT (and draw him)

[habken]

You doing requests? Neat, how bout Grace being kind of scary

this is what eva sees out of the corner of her eye

[bodyintheriver]

She was forced to eat 200 souls of the ninth house when she was conceived 💔 Griddlehark as kids

[aliumfungus]

wonder and revelation

🫀✨

[penandinkprincess]

blessed with the divine vision that bb shane was a fucking STICKLER for equal application of rules when he was an itty bitty. he'll accept the rules just fine, but they will now be HOUSEHOLD rules.

and most of the time it's fine. shane's bedtime is 7:30 pm because he is so itty bitty, but yuna and david have always just gone to their room after that so bb just assumed they were also following The Time To Sleep rules.

which is all well and good until nana is visiting while staying with her sister, it's 7:40 pm, and she is just cooing and delighted at bb shane just repeating "night NIGHT" over and over from the doorway to the living room because she is not understanding that this is not him being cute and saying goodnight.

this is attempted enforcement of the rules because nana, it is time for NIGHT NIGHT and you are clearly NOT ready for night night, and to TOP IT ALL OFF!! YOU ARE KEEPING MAMA AND DADDY FROM NIGHT NIGHT. RULES!! BROKEN!! RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIS LITTLE BABY FACE. >:(

[hollanovbiter]

So I entirely did not come up with this. It was 100% inspired by @flower-of-the-desert’s post from April but I couldn’t get Ilya’s POV of my head

this takes place in an AU where everything is the same except david didn’t forget his dishwasher pods/phone charger and didn’t walk in on shane&ilya

June 2018 - MLH Awards in Vegas

“Our MVP of the year goes to…” The rowdy hockey crowd does a makeshift drumroll on the table.

“Ilya Rozanov!”

***

Ilya is walking around the crowded hotel banquet hall, looking for his (secret) boyfriend and his (secret) boyfriend’s parents.

While Ilya doesn’t have anyone here with him to celebrate his MVP win, Shane brought his mom and his dad with him to the ceremony. Shane had a tentative plan to introduce Ilya to his parents tonight, just as friends. This would foreshadow the charity they’d be starting together, if free agent season went well and Ilya moved to Ottawa.

But he can’t find his boyfriend anywhere in the crowd, much less his family.

Ilya didn’t know if he would recognize Shane’s parents tonight; he’d only seen them in family photos or across the room at events. But Ilya spotted them right away, sitting at the table adjacent to him during the ceremony. Since they were seated so close together, Ilya was able to keep an eye on Shane all night. And Ilya had to admit—he looked like a nervous wreck. Other players probably suspected anxiety about being crowned MVP, but Ilya knew better. Shane was terrified about introducing his boyfriend to his parents.

Ilya privately figured this plan would never come to fruition. Yes, Shane seemed serious about it, but he also spooked easily. This was a huge step and one that could go awry so easily.

So, Ilya had been watching Shane all night, making sure he was okay. And waiting on baited breaths for Shane to call him over to meet his family.

But now it’s a half hour into the reception, and he’s lost track of his boyfriend. He had tabs on him earlier; Shane was over by the staircase with his parents talking with his coaching staff. But then Ilya got pulled into a conversation with Carter Vaughn about summer plans, causing Ilya to lose him. Carter asked a lot of questions about how Ilya would spend his weeks off, and Ilya was having a hard time evading him with lies. Really he just wanted to tell everyone about the summer he planned to spend on the lake with Shane.

After Ilya was finally able to step away, he heads to the bar as a pretext of searching for his boyfriend. Something is churning in Ilya’s gut—wariness. He just has this feeling that something isn’t right.

One last scan of the room proves hopeless, and Ilya is getting desperate. He turns around to face the bartending staff.

“Have you seen Shane Hollander?”

The bartender shakes their head, a small smile on their face. “You want to rub the MVP win in his face?” they say with a small smirk.

Ilya plays along—it’s as good of a cover as any. “Yes—cannot let him get cocky,” he winks.

The bartender laughs. “I haven’t see him, unfortunately.”

Another bar hand behind them must have overhead the conversation and pipes in, “I saw him go into one of those smaller meeting rooms off the side of the ballroom. He was with who I assume are his parents.”

Ilya nods in thanks to the bar hand, already pacing off in that direction. Fuck anonymity right now. He has a feeling Shane needs him.

He makes it to the west side of the ballroom quickly, turning doorknob after doorknob; a man on a mission. With every room he checks, he gets more frantic and urgent.

Finally he finds an unlocked room, and notes the lights on underneath the door, but he can’t hear anything going on inside. He barges in, making sure to shut the door quickly behind him.

In the meeting room he finds Shane, sitting slumped over in a chair, elbows to knees, his navy blue suit wrinkling underneath him. His chest is heaving and he has tears streaming out the corner of his eyes.

Ilya doesn’t think; he walks over to Shane and plants his hands on his shoulders firmly, gripping them with strong fingers.

“Hey,” he says, softly.

Sometimes when Shane gets like this he can’t stand to be touched, but Ilya can tell that’s not the case today as Shane immediately leans in and presses his face into Ilya’s belly. Ilya wraps his arms around him tightly and squeezes, applying firm pressure.

With one hand, he grips the back of Shane’s neck, the other planted in the middle of his spine atop his suit jacket. After a moment, Ilya hauls him up to standing, guiding Shane to press his face into his neck. Normally Shane would breathe him in at this point, but his breathing is too erratic.

Ilya plants a kiss on the side of Shane’s head instinctively. “Take a breath with me, yes?” He takes slow deep inhales, drawing out his exhales. It takes a few moments before Shane starts to respond, and his breathing is still occasionally shuddering as he tries to match Ilya’s pace.

Ilya rocks them slowly side to side, keeping Shane wrapped tightly in his arms. Eventually, after who knows how long, Shane finally speaks.

“I’m okay,” he croaks, but makes no effort to remove himself from Ilya’s hold. Ilya doesn’t either.

Someone clears their throat behind them, reminding both Shane and Ilya that they aren’t alone in this room.

Ilya keeps Shane in his embrace, but turns them so they are able to see Yuna and David, looking absolutely baffled. So much for a brief introduction.

Ilya decides to take charge in this moment.

“Shane, go upstairs to Penthouse with your family.”

He starts extracting Shane from his grip, and pulls out his hotel room key to hand to him.

“But—” Shane protests.

“Go. I will stay down here and see everyone. Then I will meet you.”

Shane’s eyes are still wet, and all Ilya wants to do is wipe his tears and take him to bed. But instead he needs to be a good Secret Boyfriend and do his due diligence. For Shane.

“Thank you,” Shane whispers.

Ilya presses a kiss to his forehead. “Ya Tebla Yulbubu.”

Shane repeats the affection back. Ilya nods to Shane’s parents then makes his way back to the party.

Both Shane and Ilya, the two stars of the league, can’t be absent from the reception. As much as he desperately wants to be upstairs with Shane to ask him what happened, he must show face first. He’s also concerned by how Shane’s parents are going to react to the revelation.

But based on the teary, grateful look Ilya saw in Yuna’s eyes earlier, he thinks everything is going to be alright.

***

An hour feels like enough time to make his rounds. He does a shot with Marleau and Gryffe, asks Scott Hunter when they are sending him back to his retirement home, and thanks the commissioner for the opportunity to play and for the award tonight. Then he extracts himself with the excuse of finding a woman to bed. His teammates laugh it off, but the lie feels sour on his tongue.

Once he makes it to the elevator, he’s rushing up to his suite before knocking on the door.

Yuna is the one to open.

Ilya pushes into the room. “Shane is okay?” he asks, looking around the room for his boyfriend.

“I’m here,” Shane says, walking out from around the corner. He’s holding a half drank bottle of water, suit jacket off, tie undone. He looks handsome as hell, but that’s unsurprising. “Hey,” Shane’s eyes soften when he looks at Ilya. Despite the audience, Ilya can’t help but plant a chaste kiss on his lips. He can still taste Shane’s salty tears as he pulls away.

He leans in to whisper in Shane’s ear, “You told them the story, yes?”

Shane nods. “I’m sorry for freaking out down there. It wasn’t about you.”

Ilya’s eyebrows furrow. Of course it was about him. Everything tough in Shane’s life comes back to how inconvenient it is that they are in love, with everything working against them. He feels guilty about it a lot, and wishes for Shane’s sake that he was boyfriends with someone easier to love.

Shane must read the disbelief all over Ilya’s face. “Really. I was excited for you to meet Mom and Dad,” he explains. “The party was just a lot. The music was loud and everyone kept patting me on the shoulder and apologizing for my loss. And my tie was choking me and—”

Ilya cuts him off, not needing to hear anymore. He knows exactly how Shane can get in these types of environments. With the added pressure of this monumental step in their relationship, it’s no wonder Shane worked himself into a panic attack.

“Is okay,” Ilya smiles softly, just glad to see that he’s doing better.

Shane grips Ilya’s shoulders and turns him around to face his parents.

“Mom, Dad,” he starts. “This is Ilya. He’s my boyfriend and we are in love.”

The confidence in Shane’s voice nearly takes Ilya’s breath away.

“Yes,” Ilya says. Extending a hand to each of them to shake.

[penandinkprincess]

everything i see reminds me of them (the shangos)

spotted on a sandwich board outside a restaurant

why the no mango?? did ilya come ahead of time to get ahead of illicit mango temptation

RODNEY'S BAR, IS THAT YOU????