clown party massacre

clowns clowns clowns clowns clowns clowns clowns clowns clowns clowns clowns clowns clowns clowns clowns clowns clowns clowns clowns clowns clowns clowns clowns

[clownpartymassacre]

how i imagine going to the airport:

TSA agent while looking at my x-ray because i was deemed suspicious (i’m wearing size 23 clown shoes): hey what’s that thing just under your exoskeleton bud? you hiding something?

me: haha sorry sir that’s just the clown that uses my body as a vessel. she’s hibernating right now, please don’t wake her. come summertime and she’ll bust out of me like a snake shedding its skin

[clownpartymassacre]

please officer that is my emotional support clown if i do not have him i will die i need him for survival, if i do not have him then what will i feed off of?

[clownpartymassacre]

sometimes in life, clowns use their predatorial features for good! this is not common

[boxofteeth]

hey.. so.... uh... are clowns predator or prey animals please answer this is important

[clownpartymassacre]

definitely predator! i would know :)

[ndiecity-deactivated20241101]

be the clown you want to see in the circus.

[burgrs]

barista: i have you’re brandè frappo whippy whap with an extra gunk of chumble

me: *walking to the counter and my clown shoes honk with each step*

[clownpartymassacre]

list of things to do with rotting cheeseburger i found in the yard:

• name it Todd

• save it for later to be eaten as delicious snack

list of things to do with clown:

• party with clown

• hold clown gently

• trust clown and have her inevitably betray you

• fall in love with clown only for her to break your heart

• feed clown yummy cheeseburger i found in the yard and named todd

[clownpartymassacre]

as you can see these two groups largely overlap

[clownpartymassacre]

list of things to do with rotting cheeseburger i found in the yard:

• name it Todd

• save it for later to be eaten as delicious snack

list of things to do with clown:

• party with clown

• hold clown gently

• trust clown and have her inevitably betray you

• fall in love with clown only for her to break your heart

• feed clown yummy cheeseburger i found in the yard and named todd

[clownpartymassacre]

man invented clowns so clowns can invent man

[clownpartymassacre]

love is stored in the clown

[clownpartymassacre]

me, you’re calling ME a funny bitch ?? okay gerry have fun with your divorce

[clownpartymassacre]

oh yeah uhhh pop this clown pussy like a can of soda

[clownpartymassacre]

me, you’re calling ME a funny bitch ?? okay gerry have fun with your divorce

[clownpartymassacre]

hello :) how do you feel about clowns? willing to accept them as your world, your superiors, your gods?

you better be

[clownpartymassacre]

“CLOWN LOVE- LIFE’S A CIRCUS LUV,” a story by Tumblr user @wtfissquash

It’s early in the morning, the sun just beginning to rise in the horizon and dawn’s graceful fingertips reaching out in the sky. The soft, hazy glow of sunlight refracting through the window above our bed creates a halo that frames your delicate face.

As much as it pains me to do, I have to go to work so I leave you sleeping in our soft bed covered in blankets. Cautious of waking you, I step gingerly throughout our room to gather my clothes and get dressed for the day.

“Come back to bed, Honey.”

I look up from where I’m putting on my tie in the mirror, “Go back to sleep, Love, you know I have to go to work,” I say with a smile. You know I wish to stay with you, all day, every day.

As soon as my tie is secured around the base of my neck, I step away from the mirror and approach the bed. I sit down in the edge of the soft mattress, pressed up against the shape your body makes in the blankets. I know you want nothing more than for me to join you under there. You look up at me softly from under the covers and blink tiredly.

“Do I get a kiss before you leave, at the least?”

“Of course, my love.”

I lean forward and cup your face tenderly, holding you for a moment in my hands as I stare at you for a moment, love and affection swirling so intensely in my eyes that your heart skips a beat. I smile just before I lean in and capture your lips in a deep kiss and for a moment the world stops and swirls around us.

The air around us crackles and burns like a sparkler on the fourth of July, but our fire never fizzles out; it will burn for hours and days, weeks through months and years until the world will fall around us and the only thing left is our fire, burning just as bright as the day we lit a match and set aflame our light.

“I have to go, I’m going to be late,” I say, our lips departing slowly. You nod sadly, hand smoothing down the front of my shirt before I rise from the bed. I approach the doorframe with the intent of leaving, starting my day, but I pause, my hand lingering on the dresser nearby.

I turn back to look at you, “Have a good day, lover,” I say with a smile before walking through the doorway and stepping out into the hall outside our bedroom. I start toward the stairs, my hand trailing along the banister before stepping down, down, down, pausing when I hear your voice echo through the hall.

“It’s funny, you and I; we spent so long just ricocheting off of any surface in our paths until we finally hit each other at the exact right moment.”

I stop, looking up at you before you continue, confused but entranced by your words, “It all just feels so surreal, like I’m not even here, what happened just now? You kissed me before leaving for work, we’re happy and we’re in love. It’s like I’m just watching a movie and I’ve just gotten to the good part. That’s what you and I are like- a movie.”

I smile at you and step back into your vicinity. I take your hand and bring it to my face, holding it against my cheek while my other hand snakes down to hold your waist and pull you close to me, our bodies a hair away from being flush against each other.

“No, Love, we aren’t like a movie,” I pause, smiling at you with affection in my eyes, “We’re a gag reel because I’m a fucking clown and you’re a funny bitch.”

I let go of your hands before I reach down and give you a titty twister, a loud honk echoing through the room. You bark a laugh and run your hands through my colorful afro, pulling lightly at the curls before looking down at my size eleven shoes. The flower in my breast pocket squirts you with water as I wiggle my bulbous red nose at you.

You roll your eyes as the water makes your makeup run, “Go to the circus, Boo Boo The Fool, you’ve got balloon animals to make.”

We are clowns. We are in love.

The end.