bean boozled

rats? cracker rats.

[boxofteeth]

every day i wake up, watch tv, and adopt the mannerisms of the most mentally ill person on-screen

[boxofteeth]

at a bar

hot girl: *motions toward pool table* you play? ;)

me, thinking of my 175 wins in imessage 8ball: absolutely

[boxofteeth]

327 now 🙌🙌

[olimar]

(breaks into your house) can i pet your dogs

[dykesounds]

[midnightmemoriesmp3-deactivated]

[boxofteeth]

[boxofteeth]

at a bar

hot girl: *motions toward pool table* you play? ;)

me, thinking of my 175 wins in imessage 8ball: absolutely

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

YES the birds are recording your sins. YES they disapprove of your outfit and lifestyle choices. NO there are no comforting qualifiers to these statements 

[boxofteeth]

they’re birds they can’t do anything, i could beat the SHIT out of a bird bro

[boxofteeth]

i call my gf bro because it shows we can makeout and still be besties

[boxofteeth]

do you think there’s someone out there with a tramp stamp of prince charming from Shrek

[boxofteeth]

i mean personally i have one of fairy godmother so i’m just looking for my son really

[boxofteeth]

do you think there’s someone out there with a tramp stamp of prince charming from Shrek

[boxofteeth]

hey.. so.... uh... are clowns predator or prey animals please answer this is important

[unclefather]

This is my beautiful daughter clitoria

[boxofteeth]

Clitorisee

[boxofteeth]

i long for the sweet sensation of my hairdresser washing my hair with nimble fingers and awkward conversation, then ripping hair from my skull with an unsteady electric razor while i sit and watch as she messes up a simple cut but not say anything

[geniusoflove]

obsessed w the shape of that ape

[geniusoflove]

[geniusoflove]

i did this right before taking a nap earlier n i fell asleep thinking about the shape of the ape

[yallive-deactivated20260426]

would give anything to know what your dreams looked like

[boxofteeth]

probably heaven

[unclefather]

Leg

[boxofteeth]

other leg

[syrisun]

I know there’s a Garfield kinnie out there somewhere. I know it. somewhere out there there’s a person that kins Garfield and I need to find them and kill them

[wtfissquash]

danny devito

[wtfissquash]

tomatoes are indeed bastards 😡😡

[wtfissquash]