Carolina Esparza Photography

Student | Photography | Literature | Laredo, TX | [email protected]

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Talavera is one of the many artifacts the Mexican culture has to offer. Not a lot of people in Laredo know what Talavera is by name but when they see it, they know what it is.

I learned what Talavera was around the age of 8. My mother was looking all over Mexico for the perfect vajilla de Talavera for our home. We never found the perfect vajilla, but i was able to make memories and visit new places that I would never forget.

https://issuu.com/carolinaesparza/docs/talavera-__bringing_a_little_taste_/2

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As a little girl, I always wondered why I wasn’t allowed to do activities that boys were able to do. I hated feeling pressured to like the color pink when my favorite color was blue. I could not understand why people would tell me “that’s for boys” because I liked superheroes, or why I had to sit a certain way when I wore a skirt. As I grew older, I found myself questioning why women had to act like “ladies” and why boys had to act like “men.” Even though I was expected to act a certain way, it never stopped me from breaking boundaries. I was always the girl who liked to play in the mud and hang with the boys. As I grew up, boys started thinking it was uncool to be my friend and so my friendships changed. Even though I surrounded myself with girlfriends, my way of thinking never changed. I always stayed the girl who wanted to be more than just a girl. Being expected to follow certain gender roles just because I am a girl really made me want to be different. It is like when someone tells you that you cannot do something and it just makes you want to do it more. That was me. I dislike being expected to be overly feminine because I am female and dislike it even more when people expect men to be overly masculine just because they are male.

At the same time, my identity struggled because of my culture. I come from a traditional Mexican household. My mother is a good wife, a loving mother, and a great friend as well as a strong woman. My mother does everything and never asks for help. She says I’ll learn how to cook and clean when I have my own husband and household to run. I always questioned why my father never helped her cook or clean. All I knew was that I wanted to grow up to be a strong and independent woman with a partner who is her equal. I knew I did not want to follow the gender roles some couples, like my parents, tend to follow. I did not want to be the woman that does all the housework while her husband does all the outside work. I knew I wanted to share the work and duties equally with my significant other as well as be with someone who would push me to follow my dreams. 

I used to fight my mother’s traditional point of view because I never wanted to be like her: someone who is so set on her traditions that anything innovative seems wrong. Even though she wanted to mold me into being like her, I never gave in. I stayed my own person. I have grown to be someone who believes in equality. I wanted to become someone who knows that a woman can have it all: the relationship or marriage, the children, the career, the happy ending, and the freedom to be herself. 

That is exactly the person I am growing up to be.

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Phillip Toledano’s “Days with my Father” really inspired me. It reminded me that our lives are short, so we should get to know our loved ones. My mother and I never had a good relationship until now. We never got along and we have always had different personalities. But I have never known her very well.

Yes, in my twenty-two years of life, I am admitting that I do not know my mother as well as I should. Reading the text and seeing the photographs in this book have made me realize how important it is to cherish every moment with loved ones.

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The Bunny community is small and it is filled with bunny parents who are helpful and kind. They advocate for bunnies, especially those who are given as an Easter gift to small children. Bunnies are fragile but so much fun to have as pets.

Koala Bunny was my best friend. He was the one I came home to and the one I spent most of my time with. He was the best bunny a girl could have. He was very special not only to me, but to my family as well. 

Koala Bunny passed away on the first day of Spring Break. That day was the most heartbreaking and terrible day I have every lived. I hope he’s okay wherever he is. This is for him. 

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Nightmares are a usual part of my nighttime sleep routine. Death, ghosts, killers, you name it, I have dreamt it. It’s gotten to the point where I don’t question it anymore. I’m not afraid anymore.

When I saw this building, I knew it was something I would see in my dreams. I felt like it would be a good subject for this project. This is located in downtown Laredo, Texas, a place I like to call home.

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When coming up with a 3-D project, I was inspired by a project @lindseyrem had done for her class. Her project was drawn and more book-like. I wanted to try that for fun. When the opportunity to do this project arrived, I took it but changed it to where I could do it with photography. 

The subject I wanted to photograph was unknown until I took a trip to San Antonio, Texas and visited the farmer’s market at the Pearl. I saw a lot of beautiful buildings with many layers. The style of this particular building was really interesting due to the location is was in. It’s very modern.

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Introversion isn’t a bad thing. It often has a stigma attached to it. I like when my introversion takes over. 

This is what my days usually consist of: Koala Bunny, make-up, school, lunch, exercise, and Koala Bunny again. Days spent alone are my favorite. I get to unwind, think, and get all my stuff done. I get to withdraw all the energy I have gathered from the people I see daily. I live for days like this.