My love for you is grand, duchess. Grander than the Grand Canyon, grander than Grand Bear and Grand Pa, and Grand Ma. I love you, dear. Is what I would say if I did, I promise. When I'm older and the cows have gone home, I'll be your everything. I'll make a living selling myself door-to-door. The stay-at-homes will love my ass, they'll love my class, they'll love my sass. No? Then what, then what, darling dear duchess? How shall I please you? Fly you to the moon? Oh, I can do that after a week of sex behind the white picket fences of famous America. I'll be wary of the husbands, but golly gee, they wouldn't shoot little ol' me. This ain't American Beauty. I ain't a straight man being mistaken for a homosexual man by a homophobic ex-conversion camp homosexual man. I don't love American beauties, honey. Some of them, sure, they're lovely, but, what happened to Old Hollywood glamour and the sexy lines and more is more? How those damn woman had personalities and were pushing out, saying, "fuck this shit, I'm a human being, my mouth ain't just for blowing cocks." I still remember watching They Shoot Horses, Don't They? Jane Fonda, that's a woman. That's what society has done to woman. If you ain't beautiful and easy, you ain't nothing. You ain't a woman. You ain't going to get love. You aren't beautiful. You're a bitch, and what use is any of that? I'm just sick, that's all, duchess. When I finish my theses, I'll be yours. I'll be your woman, you can tie me up in your basement, you can keep me. But, just so we're clear, I'm not going to do all the work around the tent. If you must stay home, then, you work for me. You mow the lawn, you do the dishes, wash the walls, sweep the floors, do the laundry. If you want me to do anything else after a long day of prostitution, you have got to hold up your end the bargain. Will we have sex?! Why, of course we will, duchess. Why would you ask such a question. Oh, they've developed this new drug. I've got some samples. It will be all good. I'm still a young man, duchess. I'll give you babies, if that's what you want. I'll hold your hand through the pregnancy, help you with the little foals, then, when they're all grown up, they can get a job and move out. We'll say adios, we'll say sayonara, we'll say adieu, we'll say arriverdci, we'll say haste la vista, babies! It'll be alright, duchess. It'll be alright. I'll grow up for you, duchess.