Experts in the field agree — parents need to be benched.
Parents, I know you all have good intentions. We get it, your son or daughter is the next superstar athlete. But overstepping in your child's sports activities is harmful to not only their development in the game but also may severely impact the love that they have for the sport itself. To many times I have found myself having to coach the parents on the sidelines rather than coaching my players on the field.
“Every parent signs kids up for sports or activities with good intentions. [But] sometimes, there can be a line that’s crossed, where suddenly the parent becomes more involved or invested in the outcome, versus the goal of why they signed up their kids in the sport in the first place” (New York Post).
For 10 years I have coached soccer at the:
-Junior College Level
-High School Level
-Youth Level (U6-U13)
You may be surprised to learn that even the parents of my college athletes can have a negative impact on their child's growth and development. Although these parents want the best for their kids and have good intentions, without realizing it they are hindering the possibility for growth. Here are the 5 most common problems that I have seen parents be guilty of :
1: Putting too much emphasis on winning
Parents often get caught up in the desire for their child's team to win at all costs. This puts immense pressure on young athletes and takes away from the joy of playing the game. Focus on the long term development process rather than immediate results.
2: Over involvement during games
Parents sometimes become overly involved during games, shouting instructions or criticism from the sidelines. This can distract both the child and the coach, hindering the player's ability to focus and enjoy the experience.
3: Unrealistic expectations
Setting unrealistic expectations for your child's performance can lead to unnecessary stress and anxiety. Remember that each child progresses at their own pace and that the main goal should be personal growth and enjoyment.
4: Lack of communication with the coach
Some parents fail to establish open lines of communication with the coach. This can lead to misunderstandings and missed opportunities for constructive feedback and guidance.
5: Neglecting the importance of balance
Overcommitting children to multiple sports or excessive training sessions can result in burnout and physical or emotional exhaustion. It's crucial to allow time for rest, recovery, and pursuing other interests.
If you are a parent of an athlete and have found yourself guilty of any of these things, do not worry. We all want the best for our kids and if you can change your perspective and attitude you can make a positive impact on your child's development. Here are 5 things you can do to help keep your child invested and enjoying the sport:
Tip 1: Encourage effort and personal growth
Emphasize the value of hard work, dedication, and personal improvement rather than solely focusing on winning or losing. Celebrate your child's progress and achievements, regardless of the outcome.
Tip 2: Be a positive sideline presence
Cheer for your child and their teammates while maintaining a positive and encouraging attitude. Leave the coaching to the coach and refrain from excessive instructions or criticism.
Tip 3: Set realistic expectations
Understand that each child develops at their own pace and has unique strengths and weaknesses. Encourage them to enjoy the process, learn from their experiences, and set goals that are realistic and attainable.
Tip 4: Foster open communication with the coach
Establish a healthy line of communication with the coach. This allows you to understand their coaching philosophy, receive updates on your child's progress, and address any concerns or questions you may have.
Tip 5: Promote balance and well-being
Encourage your child to participate in a variety of activities and prioritize their overall well-being. Help them find a healthy balance between sports, academics, rest, and other hobbies, fostering their long-term enjoyment and development.
Remember, this is all about the KIDS. We had our chance when we were younger to play and enjoy the game, and now we have a great responsibility to pass on the love and joy that we once had on to our children and let them thrive! Good luck, and enjoy the journey.
-Coach B