Since the only thing I want to write at the moment is Elizabeth and Darcy transported into other people's novels, you should all know that I'd love suggestions. 😁
Chapters: 3/?
Fandom: Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen, AUSTEN Jane - Works
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Elizabeth Bennet/Fitzwilliam Darcy
Characters: Elizabeth Bennet (Pride and Prejudice), Fitzwilliam Darcy
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe
Summary:
Transylvanian vampires. Mysterious old houses. Wives in the attic.
Fortunately, Elizabeth Bennet and Fitzwilliam Darcy have experience dealing with difficult circumstances.
Including other people's novels.
The Hour, the Spot, the Look, the Words Chapter Commentary
Chapter 39: Number Five Again
So this was what originally inspired me to start doing my Austen fairy tale retellings, though I then proceeded to abandon it in favor of Sweetbrier and Thistle. I've come back to it, in theory, but oh my goodness, the writer's block. The goal is to finish it by the end of the year, but who knows, honestly. Every time I feel even the tiniest bit of inspiration to work on it, I sit down and immediately think, "Nope, never mind."
Clara Darcy made her entrance into the world on a beautiful day in early May, the fifth and final child of Elizabeth and Fitzwilliam. I wanted to be on top of things and post this in early May. Oops.
Like her sisters and brother before her, she was born with quite an impressive head of hair, but unlike the rest of them, with their varying shades of dark curls, Clara arrived brightly, unexpectedly blonde.
“That is new,” said her father, as he held her for the first time. The mental image that sparked the scene.
“She looks as though she should be Jane and Charles’s daughter,” laughed Elizabeth.
“Well, my mother was fair,” said Fitzwilliam, gently smoothing the hair in question. “It should not be so great a surprise that we have finally ended up with a fair child ourselves.”
"Will it darken, do you think?"
"Time will tell."
It never did. In fact, Clara may have been fairer than any of her cousins. And her eyes, such a pale blue at birth, had neither brightened to her father's shade nor darkened to her mother's brown, but had changed into a sage green not known on either side of the family.
"I think she may have been given to us by the fairies, my dear," said Elizabeth.
As she grew, it became clear that Clara had the gentlest nature of the Darcy children.
"That, at least, is easy enough to account for," said Fitzwilliam. "She could have inherited her sweet temper from either her Aunt Jane or her Aunt Georgiana."
"She certainly did not inherit it from us," agreed Elizabeth.
"We must discourage her from marrying one of the Bingley boys. That much goodness and earnestness would be too much; our grandchildren would be insufferable." They really would be.
But Clara, upon her eighteenth birthday, showed no sign of wishing to marry at all. She was perfectly content to remain at Pemberley, much to her father's delight. They're both wonderful parents, but Darcy is the pushover/good cop.
Clara, for her part, was not worried about finding a husband. If she met someone she loved, that would be one thing, but she was always assured a home: at Pemberley always, while her parents lived, and for however long afterward, when her brother took possession of it; with any of her sisters and their families; with her aunts Jane, Kitty, Mary, or Georgiana.
For now, she only wished to stay where she was, accompanying her parents (sprightly and active despite their advancing years) on long walks in the grounds, enjoying an afternoon’s solitude by the stream, walking the passages of a cherished home.
Perhaps love would come in time.
Until it did, she was more than happy to remain Miss Clara Darcy of Pemberley. I don't know if it's me psyching myself out about the amount of work it will be or a sign that it's just not an interesting enough story, but even though I know exactly what happens... I feel very little urge to write it out. But the executives have not been functioning very well lately, so maybe that's it.
“I am the happiest creature in the world. Perhaps other people have said so before, but not one with such justice. I am happier even than Jane; she only smiles, I laugh.” — Jane Austen, Pride & Prejudice
The Hour, the Spot, the Look, the Words Chapter Commentary
Chapter 38: Books and Cleverness
"Have you spent the entire morning here?"
Elizabeth Darcy had used her own morning to see her sister, Kitty, and had left her husband and their daughters at Pemberley to entertain themselves. Fitzwilliam had bid her farewell and taken Anna and Jane with him to the library, and unless Elizabeth was mistaken, there they had remained for the whole of her visit. You know he's raising those kids as readers.
"We have," said Fitzwilliam agreeably.
He had a book in one hand and Anna and Jane balanced on each knee. They all looked rather enormously content. Listen, I am as helpless in the face of DaddyDarcy as anyone, so when this mental image popped into my head, who was I to ignore it?
"And have any of you eaten at all?"
"Mrs. Reynolds sent something up."
Well, thank goodness for that.
“What are you reading today?”
“Much Ado About Nothing.”
Elizabeth smirked. “Are they quite old enough for Shakespeare, do you think?” Darcy as Shakespeare Fanboy is long and cherished headcanon (this lives quite comfortably alongside Darcy the Poetry Skeptic, as this headcanon is inspired by Rhi. The two of them have slowly come around to sonnets as an art form).
Fitzwilliam raised an eyebrow. “Are you doubting our daughters’ cleverness?”
“Heavens, no,” said Elizabeth, feigning shock. “Are you enjoying yourselves, my darlings?”
Anna nodded seriously. At four, she was already so much like Fitzwilliam that it was uncanny; and if she did not appreciate the Bard, she was, at least, enjoying the sound of her father’s voice as he read, the way she was perched beside her sister, this time spent together. Jane was sucking her thumb and looked sleepy; she was leaning heavily against Fitzwilliam, her eyelids drooping.
“May I join you?” asked Elizabeth.
Fitzwilliam smiled warmly. “Please do.”
Elizabeth walked to the sofa and moved Jane to her lap. Her younger daughter’s eyes fluttered closed and her thumb fell from her mouth as Fitzwilliam began to read once more. I like cozy domesticity, okay.
I feel like modern people are not sufficiently despising the Bennets for being filthy rich and saving exactly nothing. Probably because a lot of people are under the misapprehension that they are poor. They're not, they are in the top 1% of income for their era. Compared to the average earnings at the time, their yearly income is around £1.5 million.
But lets make it more accessible and say they have an income of $500,000 USD. Every single year. Every single year since their children were babies. Babies cost almost nothing. A nursemaid is like £10/year and baby clothes are white for bleaching and are passed on through the children. The expenses at this time are very minimal.
Mr. & Mrs. Bennet had $500,000 for at least 15 years when the girls were small and saved exactly $0. Instead, Mrs. Bennet hosted parties where the food was 50x better than Lady Lucas's and, I don't know, bought herself fancy lace. Mr. Bennet probably purchased books. The education budget for their children was basically zero because they never had a proper governess.
Imagine the article, "I am a housewife. My husband and I make $500,000 per year, though about $200,000 of that must go to running our massive estate that we inherited and don't have to pay a mortgage on. We have no savings. When my husband dies, my daughter and I will only be left with only a tiny amount of money ($50,000 every year without lifting a finger) and the estate will go to a cousin. My daughters have no education and no money to inherit. I don't know what to do!!!"
Wouldn't you be reading that in absolute disdain? It is totally ridiculous that neither parent saved a single shilling. It is so stupid. They are both wasteful idiots. They both deserve our disgust.
Honestly, when Elizabeth visits Rosings and Lady Catherine is all like...
"You didn't have a governess?!"
"Your mother didn't even set work for you to do?!"
"They didn't even get you a tutor (aka go to London for the masters) for the subjects you were interested in?!"
"Your literal teenage sisters are Out even though they are teenagers?!"
We should be siding with her.
Like, I was home schooled and there is a lot of bad stereotypes about home schooling... But then there's the family that the home schoolers think are weird. The Bennets are that family.
#oh my god YES#this is the thing i am prepared to rant about at a moment's notice#modern audiences usually do NOT grok that the bennets are RICH rich#they are the 1%!#they are just INCREDIBLY BAD WITH MONEY#they ARE the people making $500k+ a year who STILL live paycheck to paycheck because they keep maxing out their credit cards on dumb shit!#they have a BUNCH of money coming in every year and they have been saving NONE of it because saving money is boring and tedious!#also it's fully insane that they are rich people who didn't send their daughters to school OR hire a governess#they gave those poor girls NO proper education even though they#(unlike many/most families in the time period!)#had the RESOURCES to educate their daughters exceptionally well!#the WAY Lady Catherine and Darcy phrase their initial criticism of the Bennets is rude and snobbish#but the criticism ITSELF is BEYOND VALID OMG#i am forever banging pots and pans#begging moderns viewers who have only seen 2005 P&P to understand that THE BENNETS ARE NOT POOR#OMG SERIOUSLY NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT#THEY JUST SUCK ASS AT HANDLING THEIR MONEY#pride and prejudice
Jake and I take turns choosing the book, so we were reading something else for a while, but now we're back for the next installment of his Austen Education.
CHAPTER ONE:
- Jake struggles with names, so Mr. Knightley is going to be Paul Rudd for a minute.
- He instantly loves Mr. Woodhouse, making Jane Austen two for two with fathers so far in our journey.
J: He's like you, just sitting there fretting about things changing.
And we haven't even gotten into the orthorexia and hypochondria yet!
CHAPTER TWO:
A LOT of names and backstory to cover in this one, but Jake did like the joke about all the little Perrys and the wedding cake.
CHAPTER THREE:
I can see Jake starting to become overwhelmed with the number of characters being introduced. As though he's not married to someone who can immediately help him remember who's who.
J: I don't want to fail Emma after passing Pride and Prejudice!
CHAPTER FOUR:
Jake has turned on Emma for the whole Harriet and Mr. Martin business.
J: She's ACTUALLY DOING what Elizabeth accuses Darcy of doing.
He's right and he should say it. I love Emma, but this is definitely the part of the book where she's hardest to like, and though she and Darcy are both snobs, he didn't meddle with Bingley and Jane for snobby reasons.
Anyway, I like that he saw the similarities but also the nuance. He had some terrible English teachers who made him feel stupid, but he is so good at analyzing and making informed predictions and I get very upset on his behalf.
CHAPTER SIX:
- Jake is fairly convinced that Elton is the Fuckboy in Emma, so I can't wait for Frank to show up.
- His love for Mr. Woodhouse has been secured with the latter's concern that Portrait Harriet is outdoors.
CHAPTER SEVEN:
Jake and Emma are now Mortal Enemies after she convinces Harriet to turn down Mr. Martin.
J: I know you love this book and I know you love Emma, so I assume this works out. But right now, I'm this GIF:
CHAPTER EIGHT:
Jake after everything Mr. Knightley says in this chapter:
CHAPTER NINE:
The Riddle.
Jake points out the similarities between Emma and Elizabeth only seeing what they want to see/being totally oblivious while thinking very highly of their own judgment.
J: It's funny that Emma is the worst parts of Elizabeth and Darcy put together at this point.
CHAPTER TEN:
J: I do like that Emma and Elizabeth are both completely clueless, but in ways that feel very different.
Me: I feel like we should celebrate your describing her as clueless in a way that was completely organic and not meant as a cutesy reference.
(Jake and I reward ourselves with snacks for very flimsy reasons.)
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