This Life Escapes Me — my short, tragic visual novel
A sullied, fraught necromancer defies your death to hold you in his arms once more. But you know that this reunion must also be the last.
This Life Escapes Me is a visual novel about loss, guilt, obsession, and resolution. If you like broken men who abuse the laws of nature to prove that "love conquers all", click the link below to play the game and read the epilogue fic:
Raised from the dead one last time.
He's been through so much. Can't you let him down easy?
See what's been going on in the past month or so with my personal projects, This Life Escapes Me and The Corpse Lieutenant:
This Life Escapes Me
A troubled necromancer summons your soul to make amends. Put the matter—and you—to rest.
Why am I bringing up This Life Escapes Me again after what seemed like the final build releasing 4 years ago? Well, I was approached by a Korean-speaking player named Cardamine who is a fellow enjoyer of indie visual novels. Imagine my surprise when she offered to do a volunteer Korean translation for mine!
I've been approached once or twice before with different volunteer translation offers, but I've let them go because at the time, TLEM was new, it was just meant to be a quick project, and truth be told, I had no idea how to even go about providing the necessary materials needed for a proper, quality translation. It just didn't seem like it was "needed" or "worth" the effort, overall.
But now that it's been many years, my understanding as a game developer in general has grown—and I actually have the time—so I felt ready to take on the challenge!
I've since taken Cardamine up on her offer. She's been very patient with me considering my hectic life, and I'm forever grateful for that! I've made my own translation spreadsheet for her to fill out, and as this has been a multi-month process, we're close to wrapping up!
So with this major translation endeavor underway, I've decided I may as well touch up a few other things with TLEM in preparation for a version 3.0 build.
I'll put out a paid, behind-the-scenes development post about the translation process for Cutie-tier followers on Patreon soon.
The Corpse Lieutenant
A traumatized mercenary necromancer returns home from war. But as he tries to settle back into life with his longtime lover, one more thing is taken from him.
I feel like it's been forever, but I've slowly been touching up my second draft of The Corpse Lieutenant after other things have had me set it aside for a bit (notwithstanding, the probable mental exhaustion from my deep-dive research into the psychology behind war criminals).
But I'm particularly glad about that gap. There's a keenness you have when you look back on a draft after it's sat for a year or two. In that time, I have had new inspirations, revisited old ones, and been reminded of some of my north star philosophies of game narrative writing that excited me about games in the first place! So with all of those things resurfacing in my mind as I read through again, I've been able to make new notes that really expand the script.
Last time I mentioned TCL, I said the key goal of the second draft was to "at least redo Gad's darkest moment of self-reckoning, the night terror scene, to force interactive gameplay and more uncomfortably assume his mental state for the player." This is still a goal, but I've realized that it's just not possible to have that scene hit the way I need it to hit unless I expand on something fundamental: the world.
I know, but listen: I do have existing worldbuilding! A few pages-worth of it in a background doc! I've always been the kind of writer who builds a world in order to serve the character stories I want to tell, so I'm very comfortable not needing to know every single minute detail of my fantasy setting in order to start writing in it. In fact, I find it makes it easier for me to not commit the cardinal sin of infodumping about the setting. I'd much rather learn about the world through the characters actually interacting with it.
... But there still needs to be a world. There comes a time when I need more than a vague mention of "the enemy nation" and "Her Majesty" when it's these two entities that've put my cast in this situation in the first place. I need to define more of the world so that side characters feel more grounded and entrenched in purpose; I have a basis for more scenes that allow the player to proactively suffer through that world; and there's a payoff when we have that moment of self-reckoning as Gad who can't believe this world he's serving has the gall to reject him for bringing the brutality that it itself requires.
So, I will have to do it. I will have to do more worldbuilding. I will have to treat the world itself as a character. And I will have a fuller, more fulfilling story for it; this I truly believe.
My Next Goal
I will focus on wrapping up the Korean translation for This Life Escapes Me. Once that's done, I will need to revisit the game build on my own to make the appropriate updates, as well as some other little writing, art, and programming touch-ups that crossed me. That's going to take a while longer to put together, but once I do, it'll be easy street for any other fixes or additional language support moving forward.
As for The Corpse Lieutenant, I will continue on with making sure the worldbuilding is where it needs to be so that I can push this next script iteration in a more fulfilling direction.
That's a Wrap
And that's it! Thank you for reading! If you dig my stuff and where I'm headed, don't be afraid to show your support! 💋
Man, how time flies! We're halfway through the second month of 2026 already. It's my first devlog of the year, so posting a bit in arrears has given me a little bit of time to kick up something to talk about with some of the collaborative projects I'm on. Let's get to it:
Skin Tailor — I've been recruited by visual novel developer Night Asobu (Tumblr) for another upcoming horror title of theirs! But unlike in their past projects, Belladonna's Flight and Parasite in Love, I'm not voice acting (yet?)! Instead, I'm a line editor for the script—which I gladly took up, as the story's gothic, medieval fantasy setting is truly my vibe. While I can't say much else about internal production details, if the idea of skinning your vampire enemies in order to disguise your humanity, infiltrate their operations, and dismantle their ungodly rule over enslaved mankind is intriguing to you... then I highly recommend you wishlist Skin Tailor on Steam and keep your ear to the ground for updates!
Unannounced Fantasy Romance VN— I'm currently writing the script for an upcoming fantasy romance fashion visual novel! (I should come up with a codename for it later because I'm not trying to write all that, lol) I was hired by another studio, but I've worked with the lead dev before, so we developed this idea together in the chaotic way that we seem to do. This is another project I can't say much about regarding specifics until a public release, but I'll be able to discuss production in an anonymized way for now. So I'll be speaking on just my contribution, monthly, until its official demo reveal! Stay tuned!
My Reflections
I've got a lot to set up and a lot to push along, which can be exhausting keeping it all up in my often ruminating head. So in addition to my religious use of calendars, I created a personal board on Notion to track project tasks. It's reassuring to just open the tab and see exactly where I'm at on any given project. I only mentioned two above, but I have other tentative collabs on the table, and my own personal projects that I'm back onto, so using project management tools like these again feels like a refresh, restart, and a gradual return to form that I've certainly missed.
That's a Wrap
Thank you for reading! If you dig my stuff and where I'm headed, don't be afraid to show your support! 💋
I'm laughing. The post before this one is another End-of-Year Review—for both '23 and '24. It's high time I recognize that in these immediate "post-COVID" years, I really have spent a lot of my time in a place between Restart and Recovery. 2025 was only different in that, perhaps, I felt something else was being neglected. Maybe you'll see what I mean in this post.
I usually have a curated art dump with me EOYRs. Well, 2025 was not an art year, lol. But I've got something for you if you'll take it.
Now without further ado, here's my progress in various aspects of project development and personal development:
Project Summary
Art
Art done this year was generally not tied to projects I was actively developing. They were more so gifts or commissions—"on-the-spot" work. Anything related to collaborative projects was more so in figuring out visual elements with some contract artists, but nothing substantial or that I can share.
Interestingly enough, I did more gifts this year! This includes putting together a physical gift, which may have sparked something inside of me that crafts have never quite done before now. I'm not saying I'm jumping into packaging design, but I think I finally get what shops on Etsy take pride in.
Next year, I want to get back to doing style studies. 2024 started out that way, but I want to focus on painting in the ways that inspired me in the first place. I've also been aching to get back into animating—especially as I have short, manageable animated scenes planned for The Corpse Lieutenant—so I'm going to make dedicated time for relearning Clip's animation settings and doing tests in 2026.
In 2025, I made...
A chibi commission of Josephine from Hello, Counsel for Miseri
A pixel art gift of a penguin adoptable for Foleso (original design by Mik0Mika)
Exploratory edits of concept art for a couple of unannounced collaborative projects
A fan meme of Powerplex from Invincible (idk why, I just love him)
Pet memorial art as a birthday gift for Arimia
Sprites and backgrounds for a Procedural Dialogue Addon demo for Unity by Pixel Crushers
A decorative care instructions insert for a jewelry gift
Sketches for a few art tests
This clown sketch on my old tablet that only 5 people will understand
Writing
In 2024, I mentioned that I was a freelance writer on a commercial production in April. Unfortunately, due to challenges during it, I took my leave February of 2025. I was drained, my health was shot, and I wanted to write something fresh for a change. I ended up on a fun new project and with a very familiar project partner of mine. I know we haven't officially announced it yet, but too bad! I listed Catboy Sorcery down below. Go wishlist it on Steam and then come back to my Patreon (or follow my Bluesky, Tumblr and/or Ko-Fi crossposts) for actual announcements on its development.
In 2026, I'm really drilling down on Catboy Sorcery. I want the demo to launch next year. I think doing so will get me warmed back up for other personal and collaborative projects. I haven't reached a flow state with scriptwriting in so long, even with my (sad, tragic) stories I'm excited about, so I need this lighter fare get me back into the habit.
In 2025, I made...
Final writing coordination, templates, and documents before departing Threads of You: Beyond the Bay by Lavendeer Studios
Some internal translation notes for my short visual novel This Life Escapes Me
Playtest notes for Fearbonding by Night Asobu
Playtest notes for the since-released The Greatest Escape(room)! by Destini Islands & Allie Vera
Story outline, gameplay loop, and script draft for upcoming Catboy Sorcery demo by Studio Ephua
Audio
I started working on fixing up voice lines for a visual novel I voiced in. I won't say which one until the changes go live. But it's been a fantastic project for an amateur like me to do, as I've gotten a much better understanding of my DAW and some of its tools. Now I know what the hell a spectrogram is and generally how to read and edit them. I'm forming a grasp of different limiters and compression. And I'm understanding Audacity and its own limitations better as well. It's improved my ability to offer more in my work.
While I did some things on the mic this year, it's because friends thought of me. I want to make new demo reels and put together a showcase reel in 2026 so that I have something more recent to show as I consider how I want to branch out in my voice talent.
In 2025, I made...
The Steam & Itch release ad for Fearbonding by Night Asobu
A co-op gaming special guest stream with Wolfborgg
Audio edits for over 50 voice lines (and counting) to push to a project
Business
In 2024 I said that I did not foresee myself building up my personal business this year, and I was right. My business was not on my mind until a couple months ago, truthfully. I didn't really have space to consider it due to picking up my day job. You know, the one I specifically chose so as to not get in the way of arrangements to promote and refine my business. Unfortunately, it ended up that thinking I could juggle that particular split-shift job added to my energy drain. Having less and less energy to do the work of maintaining a presence and community building meant that business was shrinking.
Which is why I resigned. Now in the past couple of months, I've since begun preparing how I want to tackle business moving forward into 2026.
In 2025, I made...
A master document listing all platforms hosting my business presence, personal resources, and primary administrative tasks
A task board to track all outstanding administrative work and projects
Updates to details of all my platform-connected payment processors
Official transcripts retrieved and organized
New templates and file objects to streamline social media and commission posts
A VGen page for commissions (with more services to be offered soon)
Personal Review
Career
I did say in 2024 that moving forward, I would be more focused on being self-made. It's true; I'm finally and honestly over all "day jobs". I really am. It's a shame as the community safety job I had picked up as a little financial buoy was a direct help to the youth in my town. But it was a slow drain too: the hours, the lacking private-public cooperation during extreme weather conditions, the inherent danger of the role, etc. all set the tone for each day. I had a difficult time transitioning into my creative process from the morning shift before being interrupted by the afternoon shift.
This isn't even accounting for a sudden situation in our household this year in which I've ended up becoming a caretaker. That is an ongoing situation, and has left me feeling complicated.
So as you can imagine, I felt as though I had less time for myself. My stress was climbing. Funnily enough, my first thought was that perhaps I needed a different day job. So while in one, I sent out other applications to employers. The one I was most hopeful for was a secretary role in a new office that supports resident nonprofits. It was my best cover letter to date, and I engaged with the director at several local events. I thought, yes, though pursuing this position would give me even less time to myself, the trade-off would be a massive jump in income that I can reinvest into my home, my own projects, loved ones and peers, and my personal health. Plus I'd be working for an office that supports vulnerable populations where I live. What's three years of sacrifice if it meant saving up for the future?
But none of that ended up mattering. The day I took a week off from work and other responsibilities to focus back on my creative projects, I ended up spending not a single day of that break at my workstation. Instead, I roamed! I met a prolific and active local muralist. I reconnected with an international event programmer from an old job. I ran into friends who happened to have moved back home this year. And the week after, I met one of my favorite indie animators, Jonni Peppers, at her Transfiguration International Film Festival that came to town.
I can't express how these little moments really made me reflect on how much I'm sick of compromising even a little bit on what I want. I came back to life in those moments: stress, anxiety, and irritability where purged from my body, and I was truly myself again.
... Then I went back to my day job, and my body was screaming out again! The icing on the cake was the one application I had some expectations for was given to a former government employee with a Master's degree. Yes, they had applied for a secretary role. I couldn't be mad. The American job market and economy are so atrocious right now that even folks with that level of education are going for anything. Is it any wonder that the American Dream has often been to own your own business?
Well, no more. I quit in October. I needed time to recover from what friends and family are saying may be yet another burnout. But that's ok. Instead of constantly fighting myself, and then feeling ashamed that I can't keep up with a rhythm that just isn't meant for me, I am going to actually listen to my heart, mind, and body.
And what the Real Me is saying is, in 2026, I'm going full freelance. It's going to be difficult, honestly. Genuinely difficult. I'm going to have to put in a ton of work and research. I'm going to have to take more risks and cut more losses. And I'm going to need to really improve my time management. But I'm a hard worker when I believe in something, and I believe in me.
Hobbies
I think with the way the world is heading, the biggest "hobby" (if that's even the appropriate word for it—it's not exactly done for my personal relaxation) that I took up in 2025 involved community action and civic duty. I've been a part of an anti-apartheid campaign in one city, a few protests in my home town, active participation in testimony at my county council, some community focus groups, and more. I've made kind allies, and progress has come in part from my participation. One of the biggest successes in 2025 has been for the first time since its inception (about 20 years ago), a local property tax credit law meant to help low-income homeowners had finally been amended to adjust eligibility requirements for inflation. Being the "face" of that push as a low-income resident amidst folks—including bedfellows!—with far greater means was instrumental. I want to continue to do more for the place in which I live.
As for what are more like actual hobbies, late into the year I've begun reading The Count of Monte Cristo, unabridged, as translated by Robin Buss. It's simply amazing. Best translation I've come across as well. I don't think I've been this excited from reading fiction in a very, very long time (sorry to all past book clubs!); I have on multiple occasions audibly gasped while reading it in waiting rooms, bakeries, and on park benches. This is a proper adventure book, and Dumas's approach to storytelling is, to me, very inspiring. It will definitely influence my writing, especially for The Corpse Lieutenant. Ask me about what I think of it so far if you're ever in the mood to hear me rave.
I also started baking snickerdoodles in November, born from a spontaneous craving. At the time, it was the second in my life that I had ever made cookies—the first being when I was 10 years old with a family friend (and yes, she introduced me to snickerdoodles). Now it's as much a blessing when I gift to others as it is a curse when I can just whip up a batch for myself now whenever I want. Did I tell you that snickerdoodles are tied for first place for my favorite cookie ever? Now you see why it's especially a problem.
I'm not sure what new kind of hobbies I'll get into in 2026, really. But I've had this urge for a couple years now to get into fashion design and sewing. So I'm going to pursue it!
Health
2024 was a bombshell for me as my mental symptoms seemed suddenly worse out of nowhere, but after learning about ADHD and getting treated for it, it's been a massive help in better understanding myself and my behavior. Medication has its side effects of course, but overall I have far less "brain fog", far less mental restlessness, and I have an easier time beginning tedious tasks that require a lot of focus. I physically feel parts of my brain are now engaged. Treatment has also reduced my symptoms of comorbid anxiety and depression: daydreaming that turns into rumination has decreased, and fatigue and apathy have significantly decreased. Now, meds don't solve everything, nor can it. My brain is my brain. But with these obstacles out of the way, I have a much greater capacity to learn and apply healthier methods of regulation and support.
This past summer, I had a very personal week visiting my best friend out of state. For me, my biggest revelation was how large my capacity is to be a safe, compassionate, and coregulating presence without even having to speak. It was very humbling, very vulnerable, and very liberating to know that as a human being, I have at least someone whom I can share that depth of sincerity. But in listening to my friend go over how she's had to interface with life, it made me wonder about mine. What negative things in my life did I grow up thinking was normal? What beliefs are holding me back?
Only recently, I've started looking deeper into my psyche and trying to understand how some of my behavior patterns and even physical reactions are a result of how I was raised. Being very frank, it's honestly painful work. But I know that it's the next thing I need to address in my personal life if I want to have truly transformed my relationship with my health.
I'm a cerebral person. It's easy to think, think, think. There's nothing inherently wrong with that. The issue is, many of us are also taught to rationalize past the physical signals in our own body, forgoing self-respecting boundaries. I've noticed with myself that I have even been trained to do the opposite of what I feel. Is it masking? Is it miseducation? Is it manipulation? Is it generational? Maybe. But in 2026, its time I start listening to my body. It is going to be a year focused in somatic therapy and meditation as I work to uncover and unlearn internalized troubles.
Final Words
What a year! But certainly a needed one. I did well, and I'm set on doing even better. Thank you for reading if you've done so up until this point. I'm grateful for everyone who supports me through their kind words, opportunities, and camaraderie. I'm just one person, but I want to be an authentic one.
for the past few years, perhaps as a way to appease the thousands of visual novel developers for the poor search abilities on Steam or perhaps to get more money from the thousands of porn games on the platform, Valve has hosted an annual Visual Novel Fest, a week-long event "promoting" visual novels on Steam. this event has always been questionably helpful to developers, but this year I believe takes the cake.
context: I'm a visual novel developer. I also help other VN studios with steam stuff. so I interface with steam's backend and these sorts of things.
first off, the requirements. if we go to their publicly available steamworks documentation, we can see the eligibility requirements here:
basically:
Reading is the primary gameplay
The player cannot walk around, and can typically only look around from a static position
There is no combat - if there is fighting, the gameplay loop is a small portion of the game. Multiple outcomes leading to different plot events is allowed.
makes sense, right? except some fantastic visual novels like of the Devil, Date Time, and others were rejected from the festival.
okay, so maybe they're being incredibly strict with their definition of a visual novel—
as usual from previous years, some games that are wildly not visual novels are included in the festival. well, there's probably a thousand or so games in the festival, so some will always slip through the cracks, but at least the rest of the festival is alright, right?
the main tabs for the festival up top are:
Featured
Browse Games
Browse Adult Only Games
Free to Play
Free Demos
Upcoming
every tab except for Free to Play and Upcoming only feature games that are for sale AND discounted. if your game is released and in the festival but not discounted, it is shown nowhere unless a steam user scrolls through the giant wall of "All" games (which is mostly filtered by popularity).
Free Demos? no, that only shows discounted games as well. (a lot of the games in this fest are daz 3d "visual novels")
well, at least there's an "Upcoming" tab to share visual novels that haven't been released, right? no. that big, main tab only has 1 widget - Popular Upcoming. for some reason, they didn't populate the tab with any other widgets like the others, which have sections for Horror, Otome, LGBT+, etc.
this also means that only 22 unreleased games are actually getting space in the entire festival.
now, there is one exception to this - if users scroll all the way down on any of the tabs, there's a "Browse Games" widget that lets them filter and see every game in the festival. but this is just the Steam search section, nothing groundbreaking.
but it does allows users to see all of the visual novels in the festival and not just the featured few - mine can only be seen if you do some filtering in this search section.
so this VN Fest has become nothing more than a VN Sale - I don't know why they don't just call it that. nowhere in the documentation did it say you have to discount games in order to be actually featured in it, and as usual indie devs are given the shortest end of the stick from Valve.
...all of this is to say....
go play visual novels on itchio
35k+ visual novels on itchio!! can you imagine playing even half that many? and so many of them are free and made lovingly by sickos. go find some wonderfully weird or creatively romantic visual novels to play today.
also, Valve absolutely can make the festival banging, they absolutely can have tons of widgets and customization, they just don't. their festival platform allows for a wide range of widgets, filtering, featuring and more, which 3rd party festival organizers (festivals hosted by developers with Valve's permission) use to extraordinary lengths.
one example is the recently finished Storyteller's Festival, an annual festival ran by visual novel developers Two and a Half Studios focused on celebrating visual novels and other story-driven games. every year they have big sections focused on horror, romance, demos, upcoming games, and more (and most notably, aren't limited to just discounted games).
another example is the currently ongoing (until March 8th) Women's Day Sale, where they have lots of categories and featurings for all of the games present in the festival. their main tabs have a variety of genres, making it super easy for players to find games they may like.
Yes, this is technically my second End of Year Review post, as my first was back in 2022! If my posting records have anything to show for it, it's clear that in 2023 I ended up engulfed in research and pushing for yet a few more collaborative projects until daylight hours grew shorter. At that point, mustering the energy for EOYR2023 was not in the cards for me, but there is nothing stopping me from returning to that time and speaking on last year as well.
This post aims to summarize both 2023 & 2024 in review, where I again address my progress in various aspects of both project development and personal development.
Massive dump incoming:
Project Summary
Art 2023
The focus was art concepts and game assets for a handful of collaborative visual novel projects, but not nearly as many as the year prior. Just as in 2022, I did not feel the desire to draw for myself when compared to the sense of obligation I had to deliver in other projects... until the middle of the year, when it returned! Arguably! But it seems the desire did not convert into much action until the year after.
In 2023, I made...
Dynamic character sprites and reference sheets for Hello, Counsel by Miseri
Promotional art and logo designs for The Beauty Which Only Beast Knows demo by PumpkinSpike and Akua Kourain
Cover art for The Plaza: A Horror Anthology by Allie Vera
A few commissions for private clients
Fan sketches of Dr. Serizawa from Godzilla, tee hee
Art 2024
Reinvigorated and renewed in the new year, I was running out the gate with new style studies to challenge me. I had set a goal to draw one full-color illustrated piece a month, with a bingo card of personal art trials by my side. Alas, by late April, I had been hired to a new project as a writer. The time-consuming role had my art challenge fall by the wayside. A few art commissions sprinkled in here and there, but ultimately, 2024 was top-heavy art-wise.
In 2024, I made...
A style study illustration of my and Elm's character Bellarmino from our WIP project Primrose Path
A commission of a genderbent MC from Love and Deepspace for a private client
Character pose sketches for a private client
Fan art of Seamus and Hugo from Of Sense and Soul by Forsythia Productions
A Hamtaro OC fan art "attack" on Artfight
Secret Ending CGs for Wake Up Magical Girl! by Miseri
Facial character concepts for Drop Dead Daters
Some experimental, traditional pieces at my library's monthly art night
Writing 2023
Mostly preproduction material for personal visual novels. Most impactful were my notes for The Corpse Lieutenant, spending months looking into—frankly—emotionally exhausting topics in order to better contextualize the thinking behind my main character, and shared some of those insights here on Patreon. Much of the reading pulled from real historical events during World War II. After these notes though, it did take some time for me to reengage with the project. I likely did not realize how the intensity of the content would impact me until much later.
My 2022 concern that I had no drive to produce more short, personal works, and that hopefully it would turn around in 2023 did not materialize. But far more importantly, this year, I did not feel so pressed about such output. It is what it is!
In 2023, I wrote...
More plot outlining for my unnamed sprite and spider adventure visual novel
Notes on war crimes, related criminal testimony, and psychology research for The Corpse Lieutenant
Writing 2024
The overwhelming majority of 2024 was dedicated to a dating sim visual novel project for which I was hired. I ended up being offered a promotion to a greater and additionally more managerial role among the freelance writing department. I found the shared creativity of the freelancers very uplifting and inspiring. Equally, production had proven challenging for many reasons.
Because I had to prioritize this large commercial project, I had not made much time to return to my own visual novel, The Corpse Lieutenant. That said, I did plot out and bullet story beats for considerable changes to the script that I believe are for the better. I also ended up creating a separate guilty pleasure, just-for-fun fiction project with my best friend in order to break up the writing monotony, as well as the beginnings of a different project with a different friend's studio.
In 2024, I wrote...
Expanded scenes and narrative changes for the second draft of The Corpse Lieutenant
A narrative design document, writing style guide, event script template, demo outline draft, interview transcripts, and character route outlines with other co-writers as a lead freelance writer for a studio client
Some story concepts for an upcoming project with Studio Ephua
Edits for a friend's WIP novel
Several chapters of a gay supernatural sports story under an alias with my best friend that you will have to find yourself if you're curious lol
Audio 2023
Compared to 2022, I really slowed down on voice acting and audio engineering. Much of that work came from volunteering on game jams. But after the fun work of lending my voice to a poison-dealing romance during one such jam, that was really it for the year.
A project or two afterwards where I was brought on for my voice work did not materialize. That may have influenced my setting it aside into the next year, as I've written before that I don't have the time and energy as an independent, non-union, and agentless talent to really hustle for roles in a paid capacity. At least, not when I put more weight into art and writing at the moment.
In 2023, I have...
Voiced Marie Chaligault in the Belladonna's Flight demo by Night Asobu
Audio 2024
I did not do any voice acting or audio engineering this year. I did not plan for any, I did not seek it out, nor was I approached for any.
That said, I had been invited to a couple of just-for-fun gaming and anime commentary streams with anime enthusiast, anime journalist, and content creator Wolfborg, so huge shoutout to him for knowing I'd bring the funk! Probably. I mean I brought something, lol.
In 2024, I have...
A few goofball special guest appearances on anime review & co-op gaming streams by Wolfborg
Business 2023
My primary focus was streamlining some processes for requests of my services, drafting up new and comprehensive ToS and forms for my commission and consultation services, and detailing processes of how I usually go through an accepted request or session for new client transparency.
In 2023, I have...
Set up my art commissions page and request form
Set up my narrative consultation page, request form, and booking site
Updated my art and writing portfolios and resumes
Killed my Twitter/X and moved to Bluesky
Joined some online art commission request communities
Business 2024
I did not do much this year in the way of business preparation, organization, or expansion. Much of my time was taken up by the actual work I was performing. I don't foresee doing much business building in 2025 either, probably just maintaining the websites and resources I do have, but once I get the ball rolling on certain projects, I will want to more aggressively market my services online to my target audience of independent creative clients.
Personal Review
Career 2023
The year before, I mentioned wanting to move into an associate or assistant producer, product management, project management, or art director role for a "steady day job". This year, I made strides towards applications for at least 2D character artist roles at AA studios, and learning specifically about project management in independent study so that I could be ready when it came time to purchase an exam to pass for certification.
Unfortunately, I've not been picked up for any such positions yet. Regarding character artist roles, 2D appears to be a shrinking demand. 3D is the vogue, as is working knowledge of 3D game engines like Unreal. Tragically, I do not have any 3D skills or knowledge, though I want to at least pursue 3D sculpting once I can afford a better workstation.
As for PM certification, I want to hold off until I can really spare the cost for an exam.
I want to continue my efforts into 2024, but there is a small part of me that wonders if I would fare better in a completely unrelated day job with much lower barriers of entry, just so I don't end up burning out on my passions. Because at the end of the day, affording to do my projects is not just a money issue. It is also a time and energy balance as well.
Career 2024
Looking back in 2023, the classic artist's plight of the suitable "day job" did force me to pivot in my plans, as I did not find much immediate success in applying for my ideal roles in a difficult industry. I decided to compromise for now and take on a smaller "stepping stone" role, just so steadier income could come in that I could reinvest into my tools, services, and projects. But the biggest thing was that balance of time and energy as well. I began to focus on finding flexible, local jobs to keep my chin above water, with a growing emphasis on arts-adjacent or community-related roles.
Two big things happened this year: I applied for and was awarded a $2.5k independent artists grant from my state arts council, and I got a much more flexible day job. The grant was validation that the work I do online is worthy of monetary support in the eyes of my state, and opened up a new way of support for me and my art. And the new day job—where under the county government, I work to keep school children safe—has opened my eyes up to roles that specifically give back to my town, as I do want my day job to be uplifting and enriching for those around me. But perhaps best of all, these two things give me time and money for my personal projects, and to hone new art and business skills.
Moving into 2025, I think at the end of the day, I will be more focused on being self-made, and making career moves that allow me to be so, rather than the prestige I seem to attach to more traditional industry employment.
Hobbies 2023
My concern in 2022 was that I would continue having a dearth in desire to do creative personal work for study or fun. I mentioned that I'd like to try something unrelated to the writing and drawing that I do for work, introducing a new passion into my life. I even thought about whittling, or learning bass guitar.
Sadly, I did not pick up either of these things. I do still want to try whittling though, lol, but I think in 2023, I just didn't set time aside. The good thing though is that my concern became acceptance: sometimes, as I do art and writing for work, I may not want to do more in my spare time beyond engaging friends and consuming media. And that's more than acceptable.
Hobbies 2024
I allowed myself to explore a different part of my creativity that wasn't as reliant on personal, laborious output: I joined a choir. Before the beginning of the year, it had been a decade since I sang in a choir. I've had at least decade of formal training as a youth, and even ten years later, I auditioned and was accepted into a chorus focused on bringing together queer members of the community, from high schoolers to senior citizens. Though I was only with them for a semester (their practice location was unfortunately very far out), the feeling of singing in beautiful harmony a set of songs that touch the soul is something I've deeply missed and truly cherished. And the challenge of learning those complex pieces with the help of others was, in the end, so rewarding!
I also joined a book club! I was reading various literature with friends as a way to get back into reading for fun and inspiration, and engaging in analytical conversation with others. I don't get enough of that anymore as I'm not into fandom these days, so this was a cool and insightful way to go about it. I think I'll even continue with book clubs into 2025, branching out into more casual reads like comics and manga.
Health 2023
I had a difficult start to my 2023, with a fatigue from winter that hung over me even into spring—an unusual length of time from recent memory. And underneath that fatigue was a general anxiety from 2022 due to the public response to the resurgent pandemic. But, with time, exposure, preparation, and medication, I was able to overcome the anxiety and better cope with fatigue, returning to being out and about in public safely.
For the first few months, I had put a challenge on myself to visit one new event in person, and I was able to keep it up. I also took time to take walks with friends and loved ones, and visit my family more outside of holidays and birthdays. And though I wasn't able to do all of these things on a strict schedule throughout the year, it was enough to bring me back to a point mentally and socially before the pandemic hit. I'm glad I took the strides I did to come out of a shell I had unwittingly and only recently formed.
Health 2024
I was on a roll until mid autumn, where I was again hit with SAD. Or so I thought. In trying to get ahead of it, I ordered my usual prescription. But I had noticed that the antidepressant was not working effectively at all this time, regardless of dose, and symptoms of fatigue, resistance, and forgetfulness still persisted. In confiding in friends, family, and my care team, I was able to put some pieces together and went for a certain psychiatric test.
Well, at 29 years old, I received an ADHD diagnosis. It honestly rocked my world. But I'm glad I got it, as it explains the persistence of some of the symptoms I was experiencing when my seasonal depression was, well, out of season. And, it's a treatable condition. I was able to try ADHD medication for the first time in December, and while I'm still looking for the right type, the intended positive effect on me was immediate. I'm looking forward to seeing how my health improves in 2025 with this brand new information.
Final Words
A lot can happen in two years' time, as you can see. If you made it this far, thank you for reading. I'm so grateful for those of you who support me, who encourage me, who understand me, and who keep me company. I give what I get, and the arts is how I do.
hey dev is this blog active? i checked twitter and it's been deleted oh well i will just leave this here if you ever see it
i just read TLEM and wow wow wow
the art? the art!!! THE ART !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *punch a wall and kick in a door*
wish the vn was longer so i can say you didn't just tease with a taste before snatching the plate away
augh should i write an essay or just gush out???
the character design, the movements, Gad's eye being so bright in the dark, the fact that Gad looks menacing to the haunted corpse, the fact that his lover doesn't remember him yet try to offer consolation, like the beloved is literally comforting a stranger I'm fucking nauseous AND IMAGIN ASKING FOR COMFORT FROM THE DEAD AND THEY GIVE IT
" i loved you....once..."
by the way i had TLEM in my "play when the time is right" and i never read synopsis i just go in blind, and i always always thought Gad was a butch old warrior lady so i just yelled "it's a maaan???????!!!!" lmaoooooooooo
👋🏾 Hello! YES, this blog is alive! Or rather, I'm here, lol. I've traded out the imploding Twitter/X for a Bluesky account, if you have one and are interested in following! Though just like how I used Twitter, you'll get more of my personal thoughts and tomfoolery alongside my art and general dev updates. Just a heads up if you consider that noise; my Tumblr posts and reblogging are more strict to visual novel development and dev peers in the VN space, respectively.
Auuuuuuugh, I'm so glad that the tiny project my team and I put together GRIPPED YOU! Aaaaah! It means the world to us to hear how! 🥹 I've been working on a prequel to TLEM for some time now in between other collabs and gigs, and I hope to return to going full steam ahead on its development in the next month or two. The prequel will be a much longer, more involved work, so if you like following monthly progress reports, stay tuned for new devlogs about "The Corpse Lieutenant" on any of my social accounts.
😂 Ok, you're not the first person to think Gad was a rugged grandma, if you can believe it. It's a rare thought (as far as I know)! But I'm not even mad, like what a straight up dope thing to think he was, lol
Thank you so much for reaching out! Enthusiastic messages like yours really motivate us small creators to continue sharing our voice! 🙏🏾
"The Beauty which only Beast knows" Demo released and we can finally show off this promo art and logo made by @coda-blue!
If you like Chinese Fantasy-inspired settings and a retelling of a classic Fairy Tale, do try the demo and leave your thoughts!
Due time constraints couldn't post as much as planned, but more news will come this January! Super pecial thanks to my team and my co-lead @pumpkin-spike18!
I played over 100 visual novels in October and here's my advice to devs (NOT CLICKBAIT) [REAL]
yeah so I read a shitton of visual novels this month for our annual Halloween game jam and I compiled a bunch of advice from pitfalls I saw over and over again. enjoy!
I've compiled a list of advice for visual novel developers based off of trends we saw while playing through game jam entries and ways to avo
I was a judge with fellow dev Arimia on the DevTalk 5th Annual Spooktober Visual Novel Jam. And I also played 100 games in under a month. 🥴 And some of my advice is quoted in this article!
Read it for dev advice and some choice examples from this year's competition, and then go play your heart out with over 200 exciting (and mostly free) entries on Itch! 😈✌🏾
I revamped my writing samples doc! You wouldn't know it because it's not posted anywhere unless you utter the magic words "paid writing role", whereupon it manifests in your inbox.
So I'm gonna post it. In like. An About page on this blog. Once I figure out how to make and structure a decent About page. I spent all this time digging through the Inspect panel like a Level 2 Hacker to customize my blog's CSS from scratch, so it better apply to a second page.
Belladonna's Flight — A demo is RELEASED! Belladonna’s Flight by Night Asobu is a poison-dealing fantasy romance, inspired by the historic case of an uncovered poisoner network in 17th century Paris, France. Made for both the Otome Jam and newly-formed sister jam, Josei Jam, Belladonna's Flight takes place in the fictional French city of Solroy, where you follow Catherine Auclair, a witch who makes her living selling lethal wares under the table. But once word lets out that the law is coming to execute every last one of her criminal ilk, Catherine has to call upon untrustworthy business rivals to try and work out a safe escape. Will her wit and wiles help her succeed, or will she get what's coming to her in a fateful betrayal?
I voice Marie Chaligault, a sharp-tongued fortune teller and potential love interest who keeps in the good graces of her noblesse clientele. I had a blast during the live sessions in bickering and boasting as Marie with my fellow voice talent, so I hope you enjoy it too! And hey: no matter who your favorite character is, Belladonna's Flight is continuing development! So be sure to keep up with Night Asobu, as you'll hear more from us moving forward! Until then, please play, rate, and share the demo!
Hello Counsel — Version 1 is RELEASED! Created by miseri accordion for Otome/Josei Jam, Hello Counsel is a short romcom visual novel that follows criminal sensation, Poise, who just got arrested! She's not talking to the cops unless her lawyer (and boyfriend) Salem is present, but when he swings by, can she keep herself from flirting too much and distracting him from giving good counsel?
I was the Character Artist for this visual novel! I was in love with the premise and the character refs presented in miseri's recruitment document, and I also I hadn't drawn character sprites for a published game in a good while. This ended up being a great opportunity for me to flex my ol' drawing muscles, in a more expressive and cartoonish style than my darker personal projects allow. I love the outrageous world and petty banter of this story, so this was honestly a breath of fresh air for me, style-wise. Please go play, rate, and share the game!
My Reflections
I push myself in my roles if it means in the end, I produce something that I am proud of. But as I don't constantly produce a specific style of product, I tend to overestimate how much work I can get done in, say, an hour. It's interesting to me because these are specialty skills that have taken years for me to train and cultivate, so what I personally can get done in an hour has all that history behind it, compared to someone else who may be much earlier in their own journey. Yet still I feel... slow. But I'm not sure if I'm "slow" so much as I'm underestimating my average output for a work I deliberately intend to look, read, or sound a certain level of polished. At the end of the day, I need to have more realistic—or perhaps, forgiving—expectations for myself. I also need to permit myself to be able to make certain executive decisions in the creative process that speed up the process because of my years of experience already informing my judgements. I trust myself to find that balance, and this latest jam experience has been a great help in reminding me of my strengths and points of which I ought to improve.
That's a Wrap
Thank you for reading! If you dig my stuff and where I'm headed, don't be afraid to show your support by sharing this post, interacting, or sending a tip my way.
okay that's a weird title. this is a survey for visual novel devs to see what social media they're using now that Twitter is dying and how t
I'm holding a short, anonymous survey for visual novel developers to see what social media sites they're currently using and how Twitter changes have affected them.
the results will be compiled onto my blog as well as another post here.
I ever show you these chibis I drew of @forsythiaproductions's Hugo Brooks & Seamus Charkham?
These precious boys are my godchildren, and they love each other. Queerly.
Reader, if you're in the mood for a gentle queer Victorian romance, go play the ✨actually phenomenal✨ Of Sense and Soul visual novel demo: https://forsythiaproductions.itch.io/of-sense-and-soul
And should you love it (you will), help make the rest of the game a reality by pledging to or sharing their Kickstarter: http://ofsenseandsoul.com/ks
50% funded. 7 days left. God, you don't understand, I just want great indie stories to live. I want this gay love to thrive in every good soul's heart. It's actually maddening. 🥹
Since Twitter is in the shitter now, officially, as declared by me, here's a tiny lil update post stating that I'm gonna be posting all my dev, art, and mindless junk here starting August. Since I can only really handle one social media platform at a time, truthfully, I'm leaving the budding X while my knees still bend.
So hey, if you followed me or found me here, get ready for... me!!!
I hope you like! But it's ok if you don't. Just get off my page then.
