He’s trying to pin me to be weird in his doc(which he attached to his VRChat profile).
We met on 03/10/26 and started collectively dating 03/30/26. I did not know he was freshly 18 until a few days into being friends, his tiktok account had only “adult” in the bio. I made friends with him honestly expecting the same experience with others, text a few times then never text me again but stay mutuals. But it didn’t pan out that way, we talked daily, played games and it was normal. I had a new friend. I was happy having a new friend and I didn’t have the plan or urge to date him. I gained feelings overtime as I got to spend time with him. It wasn’t an immediate attraction especially given I thought I was aroace at the time. I didn’t understand how I felt until just a few days before I confessed how I felt. I only ever confessed my feelings to him in a formal doc I put on my VRChat profile because he had previously blocked me for doing literally nothing wrong(It was related to his at the time boyfriend(15 yo)) and I wanted my friend back since I didn’t have many and I finally felt comfortable, I felt an instant click with him. He then unblocked me and eventually confessed to me and asked me out. I never planned to ask him out myself. I didn’t want to get involved because he was in a monogamous relationship and also he was clearly going through something, I’m not one to take advantage of people like that. But I was asked out and knowing I had feelings and I could treat him right, I said yes. I shouldn’t have but I did. I regret it. I regret meeting him, loving him and defending his lies.
Directed to him and his doc:
Collective blame happens when multiple alters in a system cause issues. Adam blocked us, lovebombed Evelin and abused our Jonah and gave fake apologies. Other Adam abused and fantasized raping our Jonah. A Jonah dumped us for “mental health reasons”. Cesar made promises he couldn’t keep, Thatcher as well. Cesar also emotionally manipulated us into thinking we were cared for and still wanted when that wasn’t true. And you all collectively ignored our trauma responses, our boundaries, our very clear communication. You used us for our love, support, and sexual favors. Made us block people non of you liked. Controlled our friendships, our streams, had an issue if we spent too much time with our family, encouraged getting sober but then on the same night get drunk on call with us. We had nightmares about being left again, blocked again so much so we had terrible episodes of insomnia even though we have narcolepsy. If Adam fronted we would stare at your profile terrified we would be blocked again, our Ebony split as a result of that, he has an unstable personality because he had to adapt to everyone. He felt his job was to change and change in every interaction to be sure we wouldn’t be randomly blocked again because we were terrified of it. It set of our abandonment issues with our BPD. And collectively no one communicated that non of you wanted a future with us. Non of you communicated your needs but still expected them to be met. We asked why you kept us around at that point and the first thing said was “I don’t want to be alone”. That’s not only dependency but also using us for companionship. You didn’t love us. You loved having us wrapped around your finger until we started to standing up for ourselves. You’re using you’re current boyfriend too because the day before you get with him you told you know who that you couldn’t handle romantic relationships and only 3 hours before getting with your boyfriend Andre was very very affectionate with us on VRC while watching the Beatles movie with us which Andre initiated while our Jesper kept distance as to respect boundaries and only stopping when your now boyfriend would join the world. Also multiple times Adam told us to end our life. And Evelin did in fact try btw. She lied, it wasn’t just to sleep. We could have genuinely died. We dealt with amitriptyline poisoning from what Adam said to her and treated her. And our Jonah was TAUGHT how to cut styro and purposely told afterwards it would hurt a lot only to see Jonah freak out. And Adam enjoyed that. That was never addressed, never apologized for, never mentioned again. No system accountability. No improvement. Adam apologized himself before Jonah went dormant but then after dormancy Adam continued to be an asshole to Jonah. I understand not having control over certain alters, but gatekeepers are meant to do their fucking job. We have had our own issue with our Eden, but difference is our Thatcher takes responsibility for him and also Eden makes an effort to improve. And our Adi is known to be dangerous so he’s gatekept from front and for YEARS hasn’t caused a single external issue, that’s the job of our gatekeepers. If it’s that hard to get your headmates to behave then until you can get them to behave I don’t think it’s okay to have friends or partners. It’s selfish actually, knowing you have such little control and you have grey morals that affect how you treat people, and still make an effort to make friends and to date others. Everyone deserves friendship and love but NOT at the expense of other’s mental and emotional security.
You collectively hurt us when you collectively turned a blind eye to all of what your headmates were doing to us.
And Jonah, I know you’ll see this, please stop using our IRL preferred name. Use Adam or use no name at all for us. Only people who genuinely care about us get to call us that collectively and you never called me that while we were friends or dating so don’t start now. We only add our IRL preferred name onto the first post for transparency and honesty. We don’t need to hide behind our online preferred name if we’re talking about very serious and personal experiences. You can mention we go by that but do not formally speak about me using that name. This is my last personal request. -🔦
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