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pan / 20+ / intj-t 'I may not have been sure about what really did interest me, but I was absolutely sure about what didn't.'  —Albert Camus

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new work nook!

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perks of working from home: save money on coffee and food; play bg music on loudspeakers; do whatever you want during your break time; zero commute stress; nobody's bothering you during your shift

(￣ｰ￣)

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week 9 // the days have been so gloomy lately i feel like the rain is justification enough to stay in bed a bit longer. also, i've been catching up on my IBM course and codecademy projects. i'm struggling a bit with sticking to my study schedule since i'm still adjusting to my constant night shifts. but small progress is still progress and i'm really happy with where i am in my life at the moment :)

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week 8 // thought it was time my desk got a few upgrades so i got myself a new screenbar monitor light and an ergonomic mouse. i really can't rave enough about the screenbar light!! it completely changed my workflow in a good way! i have just the right amount of light i need to keep me working through the night and it completely eliminated all the unnecessary screen glares i used to get from my usual desk lamps. the ergonomic mouse brought about a refreshing change too. ever since i got it, i haven't been getting that nagging feeling i used to get when holding the mouse for hours on end. i really like investing in small things that make a big impact whenever i have a little extra to spend (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

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week 7 // working at night and studying in the afternoon: this has been my routine lately and i'm still adjusting to my new sleep cycle. i've always been a morning person so i know this will take quite some time to get used to. my colleagues are also kind enough to help ease me through the shift by giving advices and sharing stories about their first few months on the job (^▽^)

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moved my desk around for the nth time. i do this every couple of months and i always end up liking the new setup better than the last. i'm just trying to find a setup that would get me through the long hours of the night since i officially start work tonight. i'm excited and nervous at the same time. wish me luck!

ヽ(〃＾▽＾〃)ﾉ

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week 6 // just attended the virtual onboarding for my new job! it's completely remote which is great (my top priority during job searching). but during the briefing they said that they do meet up within the city every once in a while so i'm excited for that.

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3 productivity tools i swear by:

ms onenote: ever since the pandemic hit and online learning become the new norm, i have switched to digital notetaking and it completely eliminated my need for manually writing in notebooks. i love how it's so much easier to find particular topics just by searching or scrolling. plus, it syncs to my phone and ipad so i can access them whenever and wherever. it just honestly made my life so much easier.

forest: been using this app for years now and i still swear by it. i also just recently discovered the chrome browser extension and it boosted my productivity by just allowing access to my online learning platforms until the timer ends. i use it with the pomodoro technique.

notion.so: i plan my entire life in this website loljk but for real though, having one dashboard for all my agendas made it easier for me to plan my day/week/month. and it's fully customizable, even when it comes to inserting python/sql codes for notes. i put almost everything here (and i mean everything) daily schedule, to-do list, monthly goals, coding project ideas, to-read pile, a mini self-discovery journal, everything!! :))

**BONUS: lifeat.io: i use this whenever i want a "change of scenery" without ever going out. it's pretty cool. it also has a built-in pomodoro timer and to-do list to help you get things done

if you've got any other productivity tools you swear by, i'd love to hear them!

ヽ(〃＾▽＾〃)ﾉ

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what's one thing you wish you could say to your 16 yr. old self?

if i could go back in time, i'd tell myself to take up compsci instead of a medical-allied degree~

i remember how much i used to enjoy making themes for blogskins and xanga back when i was in 5th grade until high school lol i'd spend hours studying other people's codes and then writing my own, and i layout the themes i wanted to make in photoshop so i can see how certain elements go together. it was fun! it was my favorite past time! up until now, i still remember those days fondly and i kept thing 'if only i pursued a degree that actually aligned with my interests and basic skillset'. but as these things usually go, we always end up taking something more "practical". i come from a family of healthcare workers (aunts, cousins, etc...though not my mom and dad) and my parents always wanted me to become a doctor. i didn't really know much back then, there was no social media to expose us to a different kind of life other than the one we're living in. so i thought i wanted that for myself too. almost everyone i know is pursuing a medical career and so i just went with it.

fast forward to where i am now, i'm holding a bachelor's degree that i don't know what to do with. i did work for 2 years as a medical technologist and went to vet med school (well they did want me to become a doctor but i knew for certain that if i want to be a doctor it wouldn't be for humans lol) for another 3 years but there's always this nagging feeling in the back of my head that keeps telling me that this is not me. this is not how i want to grow old. not like this. i guess i could confidently say that is my biggest regret in life.

and so last year in nov 2021, i quit med school. a lot of my friends, family, and even faculty were surprised because i always had a good standing, the top of my class at that. it's so ironic it's almost funny. it wasn't an easy decision to give up halfway especially when i had already achieved so much. i spent many sleepless nights thinking about it. it almost felt like i lost my direction in life. i went into a depressive spiral for most of 2020-2021 and i sank into my old bad habits again. i seriously thought i wasn't going to make it out of 2021 alive. i was a complete mess. i was struggling. struggling so bad...but i was also very stubborn. stubborn enough to claw my way out of the hellhole i threw myself in. thinking about it right now, i still don't know how i did it but i somehow managed to crawl my way back into the light. i guess i was lucky idk. whatever it was, i'm just incredibly grateful.

funny how fast things change. a year ago today, i was a walking void. but here i am a year after, sitting by the window with sunbeams dancing on my keyboard, and coffee in hand, writing about it and feeling at peace. i still think a lot about the 'what could have been's'. but i know for certain that i have already come to terms with most of them.

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for the first time in (idk) almost half a year(?), i woke up extremely late. i'm usually a morning person whose body clock automatically wakes them up at 6am. i didn't have the time to defrost anything for lunch, so i just made myself a bowl of neko manma before starting to tick off some items from my daily to-do list~

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it's been a pretty gloomy saturday and all i wanted to do was curl up under the sheets but then i decided to just update my github and tableau portfolio then call it a day

┐(￣ヮ￣)┌

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ahh yes the only time i really get to eat a good hearty meal in the morning is when my parents occasionally invite me out to brunch :))

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week 5 // submitted my logistics analysis assigment; working on another tableau dashboard for my portfolio; continuing my excel for data analysis program with ibm coursera; watching my liberation notes during study breaks :3

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my weekends mostly consist of goal setting and scouring the internet for book recs

i am currently obsessed with modern day magical realism and my favorite one by far is ''moonlight shadow'' by banana yoshimoto which is the shorter novella that follows ''kitchen''. i'd love to hear more book recs if you guys got any ｡◕‿◕｡

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week 4 // made my very first tableau dashboard using this dataset with the help of charlotte chaze's break into tech program; still continuing to practice sql queries on datacamp; survived a job interview and they actually offered me a position which i eventually declined after much further contemplation because i realized that what they were offering didn't really align with my career goals at the moment. it was a great learning experience, nonetheless.

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the thing about living in the middle of the city is that you constantly wake up to the sounds of rush hour traffic, construction work, sirens or unreasonably loud car horns. the weekend brings much respite from these daily disturbances and there's nothing that makes me feel more at peace than waking up to quiet mornings with dancing sunbeams on my face.

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today didn't exactly go as planned. i felt like my study progress was too slow, i had to reformat my laptop, my body is aching all over from a bad workout session yesterday, and i just feel lethargic the entire day. but on the bright side, i found a really good book. it's called the comfort book by matt haig and i can relate to it so immensely that i find myself putting it down a few times just to take a deep breath and ponder over the words that seemed to have struck a chord in me.