Chasing the Wind @codeyourbrain - Tumblr Blog

#exhausted af #just a little sad #mental health #personal journal

My truth of the day. Someone who isn't willing to do the emotional work for themselves won't do it for you either.

#truth #thoughts #mental health #exhausted af

It's been a while since I've been here. Kind of breaking today. I thought that we were doing better but what kind of marriage has your husband saying to leave him alone. Not the one I thought we had. I claimed you were my best friend. You don't feel like my best friend. I don't deserve to be treated this way every time you decide to take out your frustrations on me. This is not the marriage I wanted. I don't feel safe sharing my thoughts with you. I don't feel like you really love me at all.

My brain feels 20 but my body does not agree. Sitting in the floor is folly.

#old #joint pain #exhausted af

Everyone everywhere.

#mario #stupid goomba #this has happened multiple times

Playing Tears of the Kingdom is ridiculous with side quests and distractions. I may never finish. I go to do one thing and suddenly I see a dragon I can ride, oh and that cave that has on part of an armor that I now must go find EVERY piece of so I can get the great fairy to upgrade it all at once, and is that a shrine I see….

#zelda tears of the kingdom #side quests #my adhd

Craft stores are my downfall. There are so many potential hobbies to start.

#adhdlife #more hobbies #all the things

So instead of Friday night team game night, it’s Friday night true crime and solo game night. I have to say it’s a nice break. I get to sit back and play Zelda while the husband plays Jedi Survivor. Not a lot of yelling or adrenaline. No horror games or queues. Maybe I didn’t realize how much energy I was putting into interaction and daily conversation.

#friday fun #relaxing #true crime #TOTK

TW: Death

Trying to deal with a hard weekend with experimental soft pretzel making.

My gaming group broke apart on Friday night because two of the members were having a tiff and now it looks like I have lost a friend I talked to daily. We talked about making soft pretzels this weekend, so I guess I’ll share it here instead of with them.

Saturday my Uncle’s wife passed from cancer. He is my favorite uncle and he and his first wife were my safe space when I was young. Now he has lost two. Listening to his grief and the story of her final days has me spiraling because he is one of my favorite people and because cancer runs in my family. Listening to details makes me wonder if that is how I will die. Drugged to sleep because it is the only way to avoid the pain.

It hasn’t been a great weekend and I’ll probably be venting here more now. Just know if you need a soft pretzel fix premade pizza dough will work. Not perfect but sometimes it doesn’t have to be.

#cancer sucks #bad weekend #just a little sad #baking for comfort