every 5 minutes i go wow i NEED to kill myself and then i ignore it because i have things to do

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@codollpendence
every 5 minutes i go wow i NEED to kill myself and then i ignore it because i have things to do
all it ever takes is one thing to set me off and I instantly turn to suicidal ideation
move over t4t it’s time for r4r (rapist for rapist)
for me to be known is to be humiliated Lowkey
i want to be USED!!! ALL DAY!!!!!!!!
(barely contained rage) wow. im so happy for you. enjoy your happy and healthy relationship
getting really into sighing and pouting lately
“puppycunny” im shooting you in the face
guy who is highkey going to end his shit soon
nothing a cigarette and a blunt and some vodka and calling my senate and researching moral ocd and destroying all of my interpersonal relationships and acting on the urges and jacking off and killing myself cant fix
ethel cain for the 'face magazine', 2022
destroying and betraying yourself for nothing all by yourself, handsome?
yes i know that i'm annoying and high maintenance and clingy and paranoid and unstable and fragile and a crybaby and useless but do you still think i'm pretty
every 5 minutes i go wow i NEED to kill myself and then i ignore it because i have things to do
how many calories does being pure of heart and full of love burn?
🗞️. no good emojis for this one
getting utterly frustrated at life so i decide to take out all my woes on you. i’m probably a little drunk or high, courtesy of you, and get so incredibly riled up that i disregard all my previous notions. the ones you want to get rid of so badly
i drag you off the bed by your hair and kick you down to the ground. i lay my foot, high heeled or booted, on your beaten head laying on the ground, spinning with arousal and pain. i do it just so i can get off on how cutely pathetic you look beneath me. i could call you all sorts of names, if you were aching for that kind of treatment too.
i remove that foot and use it to instead kick you square in the stomach. maybe a few times over. at least until you’re gasping for breath and holding your midsection (i can’t wait to see how that forms bruises later). i shove the front of my shoe between your legs, making my intention clear; try to get yourself off on my leg, whilst i watch. it probably won’t be enough friction. i’d love to grind said shoe on your cunt, maybe, an inescapable pressure that you’ll no doubt rock up against for some pleasure.
i want to hoist you back up on the bed, face up, pinning your arms over your head after taking off my own underwear. i’ll slap you about a little bit, just for good measure. make your face bright red, stinging, and teary, all cute and nearly begging beneath me for some proper touching.
after that? goddddd let me sit on your face. force you to eat me out like there’s no tomorrow, straddling your handsomely bruised face and keeping a firm grip on your hands so you know who’s in control. i’ll slap your cunt afterwards, after having cum from riding your face, so i can tease you about how wet you’re getting over such abuse. now i’m even more riled up.
after that, i’ll strap you. id love to have some sort of leather or latex on to feel even more intimidating, the strap just adding to my confidence. i’ll fuck you for as long and as hard as it takes for you to cum once, twice, three times, until instead of begging me to touch you, you’re begging me to stop.
i’d probably feel guilty about all this afterwards, but i love having a power trip. i love being needlessly cruel sometimes and watching someone sputter and cough and cry because i hurt them. i’m a worried sadist at heart but a sadist nonetheless ^_^