that bit I’m still thinking about
‘You’re very,’ said Laurent, and then, flushing, ‘attractive.’
‘Really,’ said Damen, in a rich, warm voice.
‘Yes,’ said Laurent.
Damen’s smile widened, and he lay back in the sheets and just luxuriated in the idea, feeling ridiculously pleased.
‘Well,’ Damen owned, turning his head back to Laurent eventually, ‘You are too.’
Laurent dropped his head slightly, on the edge of laughter. He said, with absurd fondness, ‘Most people tell me that right away.’
Was it the first time that he had said it?
Because it might have been the first time he’d said it, but it wasn’t the first time he’d thought it. The thing is that Damen has always thought of Laurent as attractive, but it just didn’t matter. He’d acknowledged and considered Laurent’s appearance multiple times from when they met, but it was never the reason he was attracted to Laurent.
The very first time he sees Laurent he thinks of him as lovely but unpleasant:
As he approached, Damen saw that the expression that sat on the lovely face was arrogant and unpleasant.
There’s of course the bath scene, but even then Damen reiterates his real opinion despite his bodily reaction:
And now here he was, for no better reason than that Laurent, possessing a pleasing shape, had left off talking just long enough for Damen’s body to forget his disposition.
After that he’s dismayed by Torveld being charmed by Laurent:
Damen frowned. Laurent was a nest of scorpions in the body of one person. Torveld looked at him and saw a buttercup.
And then there’s the Golden Prince comment, where he remembers how he has (to his knowledge) seen Laurent picking wings off flies:
It didn’t surprise Damen that Laurent was popular with the townspeople. He looked the part, all bright hair and astonishing profile. A golden prince was easy to love if you did not have to watch him picking wings off flies. Straight-backed and effortless in the saddle, he had an exquisite seat, when he was not killing his horse.
Damen’s early hatred of Laurent didn’t change because of temptation or conflict with physical desire. He didn’t start to really become attracted to Laurent until they started working together, and he began to get to know Laurent’s other sides.
He does try to use it to justify to himself, though, when he first notices his own attraction.
Any man would have been roused by Laurent playing pet in his lap. Even knowing what was under the earring.
No, Damen, not you. You didn’t want him despite knowing what was under the earring. You wanted him because of what was under the earring.
