i wanna be your dog

sebastian moran. ex-colonel, practically ex-human. played by kit tracking colbasher 18+

[colbasher]

if you catch a tiger by the tail                 —don’t fail.

sebastian moran. indie, selective. written by kit. low activity. est. 2013.

[colbasher]

Wow, how long has it been since I’ve dipped my toes into this idiot? Like or reblog if you’d be interested in interacting with a BBC Sherlock-based Sebastian Moran.

[colbasher]

“Yeah?” His steps halted, caught between one and after a moment he relaxed back onto his heel. “Keep talking, you’ve got my attention.” Of course they’d wait until he was getting fed up before they’d start talking.

[jamesoniii]

                      Mallrats (1995) Sentence Meme

“One time my cousin Walter got this cat stuck in his ass.” “It was embarrassing for my relatives and all, but the next week, he did it again.” “Because I have nothing better to do than fuck you.” “The usual vault rules apply: Touch not, lest ye be touched.“ “Hell hath no fury like a woman’s scorn for SEGA.“ “Let me ask you something. Did you ever fart in front of her?” “There is something out there that can help ease our simultaneous double loss.“ “I can’t express myself monosyllabically enough for you to understand!“ “Today’s my day. I brought lunch and a soda, and I’m not gonna leave until I see this sailboat everyone talks about.“ “He won the school science fair by turning his mom’s vibrator into a CD player. Motherfucker’s like MacGyver. Motherfucker’s better than MacGyver.“ “Lois could never have Superman’s baby. You think her Fallopian tubes could handle the sperm?“ “The food court is downstairs. We’re upstairs. This isn’t quantum physics. This is an eatery. Eateries make up the food court.“ “Bullshit. Eateries in the designated square downstairs qualify as food court. Anything outside of said designated square is considered an autonomous  unit for mid-mall snacking.“ “ Man, there’s not a year goes by that I don’t read about an escalator accident involving some bastard kid that could have been avoided had some parent - I don’t care which one - conditioned him to fear and respect that escalator!“ “Be fair, all right. Everyone wants Mr Toad’s Wild Ride.“ “Fly, fat-ass! Fly!“ “My grandmother always said, ‘Why buy the cow when you get the sex for free?’” “Damn, that bastard’s faster than Walt Flanagan’s dog.“ “I can’t believe you have the nerve to come to my mall and pick up guys!“ “Where does the other arm go? You can lay on it or shove it between your bodies. The only other option is to stretch it above your head. But sometimes my arm pops out of the socket when I sleep like that. I was always searching for someplace to keep my arm - while still laying close to her.“ “Jesus, man! Haven’t I made it clear during our friendship that I don’t know shit?“ “Your maleness amazes me sometimes.“ “Suitor No.1. If you were a car, what kind of car would you be?“ “My cousin Walter jerked off in public once. True story.“ “Well, did he come or what?“

[lapluspetitelionne-deactivated2]

         “They get followed by the mob boss, he kills one of them and the other has to go back to the States ‘cos he hasn’t got any money left. I think he vows revenge, but I can’t remember.”

[colbasher]

“Seriously?” A puff of laughter, and smoke escaped his lips—he wasn’t impressed, because the only thing that’s crossed his mind was- “What amateurs. Look, if you ever get followed by a mob boss, don’t go to Mexico.”

[colbasher]

@lapluspetitelionne liked for a starter

"No, I don't think I'm following- what did you say comes after the bit where they've run off the Mexico with the money?”

[colbasher]

starter call.

Okay I should be sleeping, but in the spirit of trying to right my sleep schedule, let’s offer starters for whoever wants one??? Probably no one, but I’m an optimistic sucker.

So how ‘bout it, who wants a starter from this dumb dog? Want something specific? Totally hop in the inbox.

[colbasher]

“Wha’d’ja say?” He looked more like he was actually sleep instead of listening to music, and there’s a pretty good chance he was doing exactly that. A hand rose to bat one of the ears of the headphones off so he could hear a little more clearly. “Really wasn’t payin’ attention.” he admitted, and he was too sleepy to sound sheepish about it.

[pinched-wicks]

[kingofcrimeandcodes-blog]

[ sms ] Of course, but nothing that’ll take more than an hour. And no need for guessing, I expected you to tag along. Otherwise, we wouldn’t be having this conversation, tiger. JM 

[colbasher]

[ sms ] you’re really asking me to turn off jeremy kyle for something that won’t take more than an hour? alright, if you’re so keen on going, off we go. i’ll need to get dressed, but i’m sure you can wait ten minutes.

[kingofcrimeandcodes-blog]

[ sms ] I’m sure you’ll manage. You don’t need to be watching that nonsense anyways. I’m sure it’s killing your brain cells by the second. If you’re going to take so long to get ready, do me a favor and put on something nice. This is important, and we’re going to get strange looks if you show up in cargo shorts and a t-shirt. JM

[colbasher]

[ sms ] i think i have plenty to waste in daytime television. i was planning on shaving, but if you'd just rather me dress up, i'd be happy to skip a step. you're leaving me in suspense, boss. not more than an hour, wear something nice. if I didn't know any better i'd think we were going somewhere nice.

[colbasher]

Come on, love. I know it’s been a while, but we’ve got places to be. -JM 

[ sms ] people to see, as well? i guess i had best come along then, to see to it that you don’t end up on your arse.

[kingofcrimeandcodes-blog]

[ sms ] Of course, but nothing that’ll take more than an hour. And no need for guessing, I expected you to tag along. Otherwise, we wouldn’t be having this conversation, tiger. JM 

[colbasher]

[ sms ] you're really asking me to turn off jeremy kyle for something that won't take more than an hour? alright, if you're so keen on going, off we go. i'll need to get dressed, but i'm sure you can wait ten minutes.

[colbasher]

Come on, love. I know it’s been a while, but we’ve got places to be. -JM 

[ sms ] people to see, as well? i guess i had best come along then, to see to it that you don’t end up on your arse.

[kingofcrimeandcodes-blog]

"Sorry, that sounded creepy."

"Of course not. Not at all. No worries, love.”

[kingofcrimeandcodes-blog]

"Ah, thats what you’re calling it. Right, then, alright." Attention flickered briefly to the cigarette before he answered. "Five nine, actually. Thanks, though. I’m a self employed investor, but dabble in law investigation from time to time." It wasn’t a lie. Close enough.

[colbasher]

"In a perfect world, that's what it'd be. Not... Whatever it kind of turned into. Sorry about that. Again." Don't suck up, Moran. "Law investigation? That's not usually something you get to just dabble in, is it? Hell of a side job." Not that he had a hell of a lot to brag about in either department. Don't throw stones and all that, right?

[snapex-deactivated20160213]

Whatever you do never imagine teen!sebastian getting turned on by the sound of Professor Moriarty’s voice in science class and Sebastian having to cross his legs underneath the table ok don’t imagine it

[kingofcrimeandcodes-blog]

"Sorry, that sounded creepy."

"Of course not. Not at all. No worries, love.”

[kingofcrimeandcodes-blog]

"So, bouncing off of that.. riveting subject." What did people talk about on blind dates? Why was he even on a blind date? No clue. 

[colbasher]

"Not big on anecdotes, then?" A pull on the cigarette, what the hell was he meant to say now? "So. You're... what? barely five and a half feet?" No, Moran, he was definitely taller than that. Hard to tell when the guy's sitting down, though. "What do you do? For work, I mean. And hobbies, I guess, if you've got any." 

[kingofcrimeandcodes-blog]

"Sorry, that sounded creepy."

"Of course not. Not at all. No worries, love.”

[colbasher]

"No? And here I was worried. Wouldn't have pegged you as the understanding type, actually." Just brush it off. You're not nervous—why would you be nervous?

[laaurens]

unpopular characters meme - favorite character even canon seems to have forgotten

"This one’s yours boss."