New BLOG
www.offandrning.com
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@colieeliz
New BLOG
www.offandrning.com
These past few days have been filled with a ton of mixed emotions.Ā
My emotions have ranged from sadness, to anger, to complete happinessā¦to finally finding peace within myself.Ā
I finally feel at peace.
With myself about to embark on several new adventures in lifeā¦from my new job (that I start tomorrow), to starting nursing school (which starts in January), to me purchasing a new carā¦life has been all about new beginnings, and letting go of everything.
All this new responsibility has brought me to the hard decision of letting go of ColieEliz.
I personally spent the past two days going over every single post, deleting everything.Ā I read all my old blog posts, when I could NOT get enough of workout out (apparently), some posts I made several life changing revelations, and had unyielding support from hundreds of people who Iāve never met.
I owe Tumblr a lot.
I do plan on opening up a website geared towards fitness and health.Ā However, ColieEliz turned into something I never planned it to turn into.Ā So itās just best to part ways with name.Ā
And since Wordpress BLOWS, I cannot use it to the ability Iād like too ā so WitnessHerFitness is down as well.Ā Seriously, their HTML blowsā¦unless Iām just not using it rightā¦
I do not have a new screen name yet.Ā However, I like the idea of starting all over again.Ā
I love you guys so much.Ā You have given me hope, brought me happiness, and laughter.Ā You guys are fabulous.Ā
Best wishes to you all.
Sincerely, Nicole
So I think I'll keep on walking, with my head held high. Ā I'll keep moving on, and only God knows why.Ā
Missing him comes in waves. When we first spilt, they seemed constant. And strong. Like waves at high tide, on a full moon.
Month or so went by and they slowly subsided. To ever other day, and not nearly as strong. To close to his return to Westlake,ā¦I came to not even really think about him. Or miss him.
Till he finally gave me my closure that I so needed. I got hit with one tidal waveā¦but it subsided. And my days have been blissful.
Tonight, I was with a friend of mine. Ā Driving around Chicago...with the windows down...because it was too fucking hot (and my AC fan is broke). Ā Feeling the coolish breeze in my face, I looked over at a stop light to see the new rental bikes Chicago place all over the city.
Stricken with excitement, I told my friend..."we're fucking riding them!"
We rented two bikes...and for a half an hour...just rode up and down the streets.Ā
He had a lighter, and I had sparklers...and we just rode bikes freely...
It was when I looked up at the sky...and closed my eyes for a brief second, & relished in the warm night air...where I wanted no one else to be there, but him. Ā
I was taken back to the āemo," conversations we had way, way, way back when. Where he asked me if I would ride bikes with him when I got mineā¦
Even though I never got that bike...I would have loved to enjoy a ride with him by my side...
I slowly became nostalgic and though about howĀ interestingĀ andĀ differentĀ he was. Ā & how I liked that. Ā & how even way back in 2009, there was like an unspoken attraction between us. Ā
& even last year...somewhere between name calling and laughing for no reason...I fell for him. Ā
To the nights, under the stars, where I realized he had a warm heart...and a beautiful brain...
I miss that.
& maybe one day...he'll stop, think about me, and miss what we had too.Ā
Dear August.......
I just hope youāre happy.
& that life goes great for you.
That you achieve your biggest dreams,
And relish in lifeās simplicity too.
I hope you give more,
Even if you feel like you need to give up.
I hope that every road is easy.
But you keep your chin up when itās rough.
I hope you teach your son to be an outstanding individual,
Just like his dad.
Teach him about the beautiful things in life
Just like you taught me, when we had what we had.
I hope that you see a sprinkler,
And remember the night we were free.
& when you take a walk in Oak Park,
That you remember me.
That when āKiss Me,ā comes on the radio
You sing along like I did.
Those memories of me come back fondly
And tears donāt fill your eyelids.
That when you look at the moon,
And the stars sprinkled in the night.
That you think of me,
And in the sun think āItās FUCKING daylight!ā
I miss you more
Than words can ever express.
& I miss waking up next to you.
& I miss me in that little black dressā¦
I just hope youāre happy.
& that you make it though times rough.
I love you so much,
& Iām sorry I wasn't good enough.Ā