:)

wanna see nirvana but don't wanna die yet

[collegecr0wd]

shenaniganzz​:

She couldn’t help herself when she closed her eyes at the feeling of his lips on her jaw. When he spoke, Xiomara slowly pulled back to look at him and she gently ran her hand through his hair again until she started playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. With what they do, she knew that it was a bad idea to do even this let alone what Sage was suggesting at. She’s heard stories of skating partners messing up their career with just the words of fans and what they may speculate. Never be with someone you work with, that’s a general rule. But as she sat here in his arms with the feelings that crept up on her, Xiomara knew that this could never be just that. “I don’t want that, either,” she told him seriously. 

Sage’s gaze never left Xiomara as he waited for her words, still feeling nervous and a little bit unsure. He wasn’t unsure about her at all - he had never been more sure of anything - but about himself. Sex wasn’t an easy thing for him, but he also hadn’t felt the way that he was feeling now before. When she spoke, a wide smile spread across his face. He needed to know that they were on the same page, needed her to know that he was giving her his heart. Sage moved one of his hands up to the small of Xiomara’s back, and in a swift motion, moved them so that she was laying on her back on the couch and he was hovering over her, supporting himself with his other arm while the hand that was on her back moved to her hip. He just looked down at her underneath him for a moment, a smile on his lips, before he leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to her lips. 

[collegecr0wd]

shenaniganzz​:

River couldn’t help the satisfaction he felt when Lucie started her argument, half expecting those words to come out of her mouth, yet he could tell this is the first time that she might not agree with herself. With her knee bent up, he started his slow circles against her once again and reached out to remove her hand from her face. “Don’t hide, I wanna see you.” His tone was still light, but it was firm. There was no chance in hell that he was going to miss any second of what she looked like. It was then that he stopped his hand once again, feeling her wet underneath the fabric and while he wanted to take his time, his own impatience was getting in the way of what he wanted to do. Hooking his fingers underneath the last of her clothing, he snaked it down her legs until it was completely off and on the floor. River smiled up at her as he lowered himself down until his lips kissed just where his hand was moments ago, until he let his tongue slip through the slit.

A small sound escaped the back of Lucie’s throat at River’s firm tone. She had no idea she would like it this much, especially given how stubborn she typically was, but she was completely coming undone in every way. After he removed her underwear she glanced down at him just in time to catch him smiling up at her. Lucie reached down to find one of his hands, interlocking their fingers and holding on tight. She felt like she needed something to ground her, something to remind her that this was River and it was okay to be vulnerable. Lucie whimpered as soon as she felt his tongue on her, wanting to cover her face again but instead doing as she was told. “River, please,” she choked out, feeling like every inch of her body was on fire right now. She moved her hips slightly, searching for more contact, feeling like if he didn’t hurry up she was going to explode. 

[collegecr0wd]

shenaniganzz​:

Scoffing playfully at his words, she said, “And here I thought this was going to be a piece of cake.” Xiomara then looked down at his hands on her thighs after he pulled her close and she leaned in again towards his ear. Her hand that was in his hair tightened just a little more. “Do you want me to try harder?” she asked him in his ear shakily. Her chest was against his and she was more than certain he could feel how hard her heart was beating. Xiomara wasn’t restraining herself and what she wanted right now, but that was feeling like one of the most scariest things in the world. She was being vulnerable to him in a way that she didn’t think she’d ever get the chance with him and now that it was happening, she was feeling nervous. 

Sage didn’t know how to answer Xiomara’s question, with how close they were and all of the feelings in his body, he wasn’t sure if he’d ever be able to think straight again. He swallowed hard before nodding his head, unable to speak right now. He was nervous for more reasons than he could count. He pressed his lips to the spot right under her jaw, lingering there for a long moment. “I don’t want this to just be... that, though,” he admitted in a whisper without pulling back, his lips brushing against her throat when he spoke. Sage didn’t know if he could handle this just being a hook up - he had been all in since the moment they started skating together. Sage pressed another kiss to the base of her throat, his nerves rising even more in his throat. 

[collegecr0wd]

shenaniganzz​:

Sara had just finished putting her groceries in the back of her car, feeling her phone go off in her pocket. Taking it out, she looked down and rolled her eyes at her son’s very late response to her question of what he might have wanted at the store before placing it back in her pocket. Closing the trunk, she was almost thinking of not going back inside, but decided that she might as well take the quick trip inside. Maybe this was divine intervention telling her to grab that cake she was eyeing in the bakery section. Heading back inside the store and grabbing a small basket, she headed towards the aisle of snacks that Isaiah was requesting and when she found them, a man was standing there looking. She could only see the back side of him, and unfortunately for her it was a very nice back side. Despite the thoughts running through her head, she noticed that he was also taking a very long time to choose what he wanted. Not one to always be the most patient in these circumstances, Sara stepped up next to him. “Excuse me,” she said as she reached out to take a few different things in front of him. She glanced up to give the man a smile, but did a double take when she thought she recognized who it was. Standing straighter and placing her items in the hand basket as she couldn’t take her eyes off him, she felt like she was immediately brought back to her teenage self, seeing her oldest best friend for the first time in years. “It’s you,” she said softly, her smile growing.

Elias was standing in the snack aisle at the grocery store, but his mind was a million other places. He had a million other things he had to do today, but his eyes had fallen on his daughters favourite snacks, and was flooded by memories of the two girls fighting over them before Brynne had gotten really sick and passed. It was like he was frozen there by the memory, when he realized that someone was trying to get by him. He apologized quickly and was about to move out of the way, but when he looked over at the woman standing there, it was like the wind was knocked out of him. Was he so caught up in old memories that he hallucinated his best friend in front of him right now? But then she spoke, and Elias’s smile grew wide on his face. “Sara,” he spoke, his voice quiet and in disbelief. His hand moved up to cup her cheek softly, as if testing to see if she was real or not. “It’s so good to see you.” 

[collegecr0wd]

umcvden​:

Caden walked up the familiar halls of the hospital to the room where he knew Angie was staying in, flowers in hand, and wishing that he had Seb with him. He’d tried asking, but the boy had barely talked to him since all of this happened with Angie’s overdose. He was worried, but there was one more person he was just as worried for. His best friend, Maren. He had a feeling that she might be here in the hospital, knowing that that was exactly what Caden had done, staying and waiting for the other to hopefully wake up soon. He’d heard through others though that there was a high chance that Angie might never wake up. Knocking lightly, just in case, Caden then opened the door and saw the girl in the bed, looking asleep, looking like she could wake up any moment and knowing she wouldn’t, he had instantly remembered Seb being in that bed and a wave of emotions hit him like a brick. His eyes flooded, but he did his best to hold the tears back as they scanned the room and saw his friend in the chair next to Angie. “Hey, Maren,” he said softly, walking over towards her to lean down and kiss her cheek. He held out the flowers to her before he sat down on the windowsill next to her. Caden knew that this must be hard for Maren, knowing exactly how she must be feeling. She was there for him when he was feeling so, so alone and afraid of losing Seb not that long ago. He wanted to make sure that she knew he had him to return the favor. 

Maren heard the words the doctor had told her, being told on multiple occasions that there was a good chance that Angie would never wake up, that the damage done was going to have lasting effects if she ever did, but she couldn’t believe them. Angie had to wake up, and she had to be completely fine. This wasn’t real. She was sitting where she had been since Angie had been here, in the chair next to her bed, knees bent up to her chest, arms wrapped around them, just staring at the girl who looked like she was sleeping. She had barely cried since this happened, instead just feeling numb, scared, alone. She couldn’t believe this was happening. Maren’s gaze lifted when she heard the knock on the door, and seeing her best friend should have made her happy, should have lifted her spirits, but as he handed her the flowers and sat down next to her, she finally felt the tears well up in her eyes. She remembered when Seb was in here, what he had been going through, and how terrifying it had all been. Seb had ended up okay, better than before even, but what were the odds that the same was going to be true for Angie? Maren set the flowers down gently on the table beside Angie’s bed, before turning around and wrapping her arms around Caden’s neck. “Thank you for being here,” she mumbled against his shoulder, feeling overwhelmed. She felt a couple of tears fall down her cheeks, and she sniffled quietly. “I don’t know what to do.”

[collegecr0wd]

shenaniganzz​:

Xiomara let out a breathy laugh when he picked her up, allowing her legs to wrap around him, holding him with her arms loosely around his neck. “Being diabolical is one of my many talents that you’ll learn about,” she teased in a whisper, bringing her face close enough that as she spoke her lips moved against his like a feather once they were sat. There have been many times that they had to touch each other, to be very close to one another due to what they do, but this- this was different. This wasn’t because of a job or a practice, but it was definitely from everything that has built up between them and this moment. Xiomara maneuvered her legs so they were now properly saddling him. She still had a grin as she looked over Sage’s face, a hand running through his hair. “Are they working?”

Sage felt like he was completely at Xiomara’s mercy - he would do anything she asked of him in this moment. His eyes had closed when she leaned in and her lips were a breath away from his, but they opened again when she adjusted and was now straddling his lap. Sage’s hands had a mind of their own as they slid down from her waist to her thighs, pulling her even closer. “I don’t know,” he spoke, a teasing grin on his face. “You might have to try a little harder.” There was so much tension built up between the two of them at this point, that Sage didn’t know what to do with himself. He’d never really felt like this before - this level of desire, of needing to be close, of being so attracted to every single thing about her. If he thought about it too much he was sure he’d go through an anxiety spiral, but right now, with her in front of him, he felt like he wanted to be even closer. 

[collegecr0wd]

shenaniganzz​:

Xiomara heard him and to her surprise to herself, she agreed how hard it has been to try and keep a distance. There were many nights after practice or even just hanging out, which was limited due to her feelings, that she wanted to scream at the top of her lungs that she wanted to take it all back. What stopped her was her fear of looking like an idiot. She smiled at Sage when he kissed her hand before scrunching her face. “Yeah, it’s pretty pathetic,” she teased, her tone indicating that there wasn’t any truth to it. Xiomara moved her free hand to wrap around the back of his neck, still on her toes, and letting their bodies be close together while she kept her eyes on his. “I kinda like you, too.” 

Sage just grinned at her teasing words, shaking his head slightly at her. "Was this all some big plan of seduction? You invite me over here and feed me the best baked goods I’ve ever had, and see how long I can last without kissing you?” He gave her a look of mock disappointment before the grin was back on his face, arm going around her to lift her off her feet again. His other hand moved under one of her thighs to wrap her legs around his waist as he walked over to the couch in the living room, sitting down and keeping her in his lap. He leaned in close to her again, their faces a breath apart. “You’re got some sick plans brewing up there, bubs.” 

[collegecr0wd]

shenaniganzz​:

He stopped when he heard his name whispered and looked at Lucie when she touched his cheek. River only gave her a soft smile, understanding that she was letting him do the impossible to her. Removing her hand from his cheek, he kissed her palm gently before once again moving her hand away and this time holding it there. “You will,” he said just above a whisper. “But until then…” he trailed off with a small smirk as he lowered his head once again, this time his lips falling onto the fabric of her underwear near her hip as his finger moved to the slit shown underneath the thin cloth, gently rubbing it. He looked up again at her, stopping his movements and removing his lips quickly. “You’re gonna let me take care of you first,” he told her with a small grin. 

River’s words and the tone of his voice almost made Lucie come completely undone. She hated being told what to do, but in this moment, she would listen to anything he said he said to her. She’d never been more turned on in her life - him taking control was really doing something for her right now. She never let sex be this vulnerable with anyone else, but it didn’t feel nearly as scary with River. She wanted to whimper when he stopped touching her, but instead she let herself fall flat against the bed again, one hand moving to cover her face. “Don’t tell me what to do,” she tried to argue, but it was obvious from how shaky her voice was that she liked it more than she let on. She bent one knee up, encouraging him slightly to continue. 

[collegecr0wd]

shenaniganzz​:

The quickness of him stepping back seemed to only keep her still in her shock of the kiss, breathing heavy as he swore and apologized. Xiomara didn’t move for a second, letting herself process this moment and everything that’s been going on between them that they’ve both ignored. It was stupid of her, to try and say that there couldn’t be anything that could go on between them. Try as she might, she knew she wasn’t trying as hard to stay away, not as much as him and it wouldn’t be fair to put the blame on him for this moment that just happened. Xiomara could tell that Sage was already putting himself through the wringer of what they had just done and she quickly wanted to change that. She stepped forward again, timidly reaching out to touch his cheek with her hand, cupping it. “I think it’s hopeless, Sage. We can’t do anything about it,” she said to him, reusing the words he spoke earlier. She was smiling up at him, her thumb caressing his cheek. She didn’t think that there was anything else they could do at this point.

Sage’s heart was pounding as he waited for a response from Xiomara, anxious that he had made everything even more complicated between the two of them. But then her hand was on his cheek, and he couldn’t help but immediately lean into it. A laugh bubbled out of his lips at Xiomara’s words, repeating what he had said to her earlier. He couldn’t believe what she was saying. His hand came up to hold her hand to his face, smiling down at her. “You have no idea,” he started, his words quiet. “How hard it’s been to just be your friend.” Sage was honestly surprised that he was able to hold out for this long without kissing her - especially when he thought about it every single time they were together. Sage moved his head slightly to kiss the palm of Xiomara’s hand. “I kinda like you, bubs.”

[collegecr0wd]

shenaniganzz​:

The same instinct that she was ignoring had been reciprocated by Sage when she felt his lips press against hers. Xiomara, despite herself and her own words, kissed him back, cutting through the tension that had been building up since the last time they kissed. This one felt different, it was a kiss that couldn’t be helped but to happen. She let her body press close to him, feeling the relief of being near him after all this time of keeping herself away. She knew that this could become complicated later on, but that was now just a forethought in her mind as the kiss deepened and they held onto each other like it was the only thing keeping them alive. Xiomara was on her toes, her hands in his hair. Of course, staying away was never in the cards for the two of them. 

There was a flood of relief that rushed through Sage as he felt Xiomara kiss him back with no hesitation. His arms moved to wrap tightly around her waist, lifting her off her feet slightly to account for the height difference. He never wanted this to end - the sparks between them felt like live wires, every place their bodies were touching feeling electric. When they finally did break apart, Sage was breathing heavily, almost trembling with emotion and all of the things he wanted to say to her. But then he remembered himself, and how inappropriate that was - she had set a boundary, and he had completely crossed it. He quickly removed his arms from her, making sure she was fulling back on her feet before he took a step back. “Shit -” he never so much as cursed, but this moment called for it. “I’m sorry, Xiomara. I-” Sage could only shake his head, not sure of what to say or do at this point. He didn’t want to diminish the kiss and say that it shouldn’t have happened - but he also didn’t want her to think that he just didn’t respect her or her wishes. He swallowed hard, looking away from her. “I’m sorry,” he repeated. “I know you didn’t want that to happen.”

[collegecr0wd]

shenaniganzz​:

Xiomara just shook her head when Sage teased her with her own words. There was one split moment that she wasn’t going to take this as seriously as their normal practices, but as they started doing the steps, she fell into it as perfectly as she knew how. With each move and lift that they could do, she was already imagining herself and Sage doing it on the ice in front of hundreds of people and she soon started to notice that she wasn’t so nervous as before, not when he was going to be by her side the entire time. With him, there was no chance at failing anything. As they moved into the final move to finish it, she was taken back out of her thoughts and was back in her living room with this man. The song was coming to an end and their faces were close enough to feel the others heavy breathe. “I think we’re pretty good,” she said just over a whisper, smiling. 

Sage was breathing heavily when they finished their routine, their faces and bodies closes. He was normally quick to step away when they were done - he had to be, because he didn’t have the self control to be this close to her. His gaze flickered down to her smile after she spoke, and suddenly, he couldn’t hold himself back any longer. He was trying so hard to just be her friend, but in this moment, he couldn’t. He leaned forward and closed the gap between them without thinking, his lips pressing against hers and his hand moving to the small of XIomara’s back to hold her close. The first kiss they shared was soft, timid, nervous - but this one was different. The tension had been building between them for too long, this was heat of the moment, almost frantic as he leaned into her, his lips moving against hers. There was no thought behind this kiss at all, he just felt like he was going to die if he didn’t kiss her in this moment. 

[collegecr0wd]

shenaniganzz​:

Her hands had just dropped when she heard Sage walking towards her and all Xiomara could do was just look at him when her apron was removed. As he spoke and placed his hands on her face, her smile was gone and all she was feeling was the same nervousness and excitement she feels the day before a performance. As soon as she was free from Sage’s touch, Xiomara busied herself by stepping back and completely taking her apron off and folding it on the counter. Xiomara was getting ready to think of something else to do to keep her mind off of what she was feeling when she heard Sage’s question. She looked at him and his hand. “You wanna do this now?” she asked with a quirk of her brow before she decided to take his hand. “I guess we could squeeze in another.”

Sage didn’t drop his hand even as she questioned him, just shrugging his shoulders in reply. He didn’t think it would hurt. He smiled when she agreed and took his hand, and Sage pulled her more into the living room, moving a couple of chairs out of the way as he did. They practiced a fair bit without skates so it only felt a little strange to just be dancing together in her living room. Sage grinned at her as he pulled out his phone to cue up their song and got into their starting position. He knew that he could do this routine in his sleep at this point, but he still felt like he needed all the practice that he could get. “Don’t mess up,” he teased her right before they began. It was cheesy, but he felt like they became one when they skated together. They felt so in sync throughout the whole thing. 

[collegecr0wd]

shenaniganzz​:

Xiomara’s eyes widened slightly as he spoke, watching his hand wave in the air as he searched to finish his sentence and when he had, she blushed from the conversation they had awhile ago and hid it with the roll of her eyes. “The last thing I am is fucking adorable,” she said with fake annoyance. “And I’m not doing anything…” she waved her hands mocking him from before dropping them to her sides. Letting out a laugh, a little at herself by the situation she put herself in with this boy.. this unbelievable boy. “What am I supposed to do, huh? Just stand here? Cover my face?” As she teased, she pulled up her apron over her head and when her face was covered she put her hands up in the air. “This okay?”

Sage laughed at Xiomara swearing she wasn’t adorable, shaking his head at her. “You made.. little fruits out of pie crust! How is that not the cutest thing in the entire world?” He couldn’t help but laugh even louder when she covered her face with her apron, taking a couple of steps toward her. He gently pulled the apron down again, sighing dramatically. “No, I think it’s hopeless. You’re naturally adorable. We can’t do anything about it.” He shook his head again, he hands going to either side of her face for a moment as he looked at her. Remembering himself, he cleared his throat slightly and took a step back, before he got an idea. Looking around the room, he grinned at her and held out his hand to her. “Practice with me?” 

[collegecr0wd]

shenaniganzz​:

Thea stood up after him, taking his hand as she felt her skin warm up from the words he spoke. She started walking towards the stairs before a wave of courage ran through her. Turning around to look at him once her hand was on the stairway railing she said, “Kai, you should know that I would never try to get rid of you.” She smirked, clearly ignoring the other comment he made, but quickly hid it away by turning and running up the stairs. She was saved by her reach of the light switch, quickly turning it on. Thea paused a moment, not having stepped in her older brothers room in a while. Just like anything else in the old house, it hasn’t changed. “There’s more pillows over here,” she said quietly as she reached the closet, feeling nervous once again by the presence of the other while grabbing a pillow and some blankets.

Kai began to follow Thea towards the stairs, pausing when she turned around. He couldn’t help but raise his eyebrows at her words and the smirk on her lips, wondering if she was implying what he thought she was. Regardless, it didn’t matter - that was off the table anyway. No matter how pretty she looked, or how easy it was to be around her. He just shook his head to clear it as he headed up the stairs behind her, pausing a moment in the doorway. He used to spend a lot of time with Silas in this room growing up, when things were just a little bit easier. He took a few steps over to Thea, where she was standing near the closet with her back to him. His hands went up to gently massage her shoulders, an action that felt as natural as anything at this point. “I’m good, T, thank you,” he told her just as quietly. Kai pushed her hair out of his way softly, hands staying on her shoulders. “You headed to bed?” 

[collegecr0wd]

shenaniganzz​:

As he spoke, Xiomara finished up some of the touches on her latest dessert after taking it out of the oven, placing a few pieces of fruit on the top in the perfect place while nodding at Sage’s words. Looking up at him, knowing that he was understanding of what she was feeling, it was nice not to be so alone in her worrying. “Yeah,” she answered him simply. “The start is always the most nerve wracking, but then it gets easier to do what you have to do,” she explained. “The most important part is just showing up and once you do that, everything else is easy as pie.” Xiomara lightly laughed as she lifted up the food.

Sage nodded at Xiomara’s words, knowing that once they were out on the ice tomorrow, he wouldn’t be able to focus on anything else except her. His fears would be gone, because it would just feel like the two of them, like it always did. But then Xiomara made her joke, and Sage almost wanted to groan in frustration. He scrunched his nose playfully, instead. “I thought we talked about how you’re not supposed to be so,” he waved his hand in her general direction as he searched for the word, “adorable.” Honestly, she was just torturing him at this point. She was wearing an apron, and holding up a pie, and how was he not supposed to kiss her? It wasn’t fair. 

[collegecr0wd]

shenaniganzz​:

Wren stayed put a moment before she removed her arms from around him and stood up straight. His words annoyed her, hearing that instead of telling her that plans have been changed, he had blown her off. And it felt like it was becoming a pattern recently. It wasn’t like she could’ve done better things than to sit here and wait for him to not even show up. She blew a long breathe through her nose, really hoping to find the words that didn’t show her anger too much, to not start a fight. “Alright, I’m gonna hang out with the girls,” she started. “With the amount of time you were on your phone tonight, there could’ve been a moment you could’ve let me know you were bailing,” she said with a little more attitude than she intended as she walked over to the front of the door to grab her things. 

Owen looked up at her in confusion when he could hear the annoyance in Wren’s tone, furrowing his eyebrows. “What are you talking about - oh.” He cut himself off when he remembered that they had planned their game night for tonight, and he hadn’t shown up. He stood up taking a few steps over to Wren. They never fought, and he was honestly too tired to even think about that right now. “Come on, Wren. It’s just a silly game night - we can do that anytime,” he said, trying to reason with her. “You know I’m trying to connect with the team more. It’s important.” He shrugged his shoulders, putting his hands in his pockets as he looked at her. He didn’t want to do this right now.

[collegecr0wd]

shenaniganzz​:

He gave her a soft smile when she touched him, allowing her to explore his chest before his hands went up to hers and removed them, placing them on either side of her. River then slowly put his hands back on her thighs, his fingers gently caressing the soft skin of each leg until he leaned his head down to graze his lips on a spot he just touched. He wanted to take things slow, wanted to take care of her in every way imaginable. He knew that he had all the time in the world. River fully placed his lips on her, trailing kisses in places he could say he’s only secretly imagined at times, but now it was happening. His heart was racing, nerves were acting up, but he was careful with her and showed her just how much he wanted her. Taking one hand, he placed it on her stomach and gently had her lay down on the bed. This wasn’t like the first time, all those weeks ago, the entire time, wishing he could redo it all and now that he’s had the chance, he’s taking it. 

Lucie wasn’t always great at doing as she was told, but she let River move her hands away from him. One of her hands curled in the bedsheets, feeling overwhelmed by the feeling of his lips on her. She’d never experienced anything quite like this before, she was normally rushed, hooks up were just that and nothing more, but this was something else entirely. Her breath was coming out shaky, not being able to focus on anything other than River. She let her back hit the bed, her hands loosening their grip on the sheets, closing her eyes for a moment. She felt nervous, almost like how gentle and caring he was being was too much. Lucie propped herself up on her elbows to look down at him. “River,” she whispered, reaching one hand out to gently stroke his cheek when he looked at her. “Let me take care of you.”