aurora borealis

I will always love you, darling. Even now, as I lay here haunted by your words.

[pre-party]

[collidingouratoms-blog]

Let A Black Hole Love The Moon

Do you love me or not? You say you don’t know what to do without me, but you do. Of course you do. You’re the moon and I will never be your Sun. Maybe we’re just too different, I don’t know.

I wonder if you think she’s your Sun, now. I don’t want her to be. I don’t want you to belong to anyone but me. Call me selfish all you want, I don’t care as long as you can look at me and love me. I just want you to love me.

I don’t deserve you, I know that. But my heart doesn’t take no for an answer. It wants you so badly, Moon. Let it love you completely and maybe, just maybe, I could be better.

- Aurora Borealis // November 11th, 2017

[lostwith1d]

Tive que compartilhar isso no @WeHeartIt

[neonsamurai04]

[collidingouratoms-blog]

I'm Still Heartbroken

This is the first poem I've attempted to write since October. I know that every single one of them will be about you and

So will this one.

I don't message you because it's destroying me knowing you moved on. Knowing that you could move on so easily after what we had. But I guess I don't blame you.

I don't message you because I'll just end up hurting you again. That's the last thing I ever wanted to do.

I don't message you because I'm trying to detach myself from you. From the hurt that's buried so deeply in my chest.

You talk to me like we never happened. Like you never told me you were madly in love with me. I try to forget every word you said to me, words a girl like me never deserved to hear. I didn't fucking deserve them and I wish I'd never heard them, they're the reasons why the hurt stays. You gave me hope and now that's all down the drain. Fuck you for that.

I wish I could be mad at you, but all I can do is be understanding. I force myself to pretend that we never touched, we never kissed, we never collided. Sometimes I think it actually works. But other times it's like the weight of what we had and what we could've been sits on my shoulders.

Goddamn I miss you.

This is the first poem I've finished since October. We started talking again when I wrote the last one, of course it was about you. I never wanted to write during the time we talked. I knew it would hurt too much. Maybe I only write when I miss you this badly.

- Aurora Borealis // December 4th, 2017

[deadwatered]

people ask why you stay instead of why they hurt you, they don’t understand that the pain feels so good, that you’ve only learned love is meant to hurt, that it runs deeper, it’s not loving yourself, not being loved, growing up knowing sadness and heartache, loneliness and apathy, so you’ll take whatever you can get, even if your version of I love you sounds like, “will you come home with me?”

(via deadwatered)

[craved-deactivated20230908]

[heavensghost]

How soon is now? / the smiths

[collidingouratoms-blog]

Let A Black Hole Love The Moon

Do you love me or not? You say you don't know what to do without me, but you do. Of course you do. You're the moon and I will never be your Sun. Maybe we're just too different, I don't know.

I wonder if you think she's your Sun, now. I don't want her to be. I don't want you to belong to anyone but me. Call me selfish all you want, I don't care as long as you can look at me and love me. I just want you to love me.

I don't deserve you, I know that. But my heart doesn't take no for an answer. It wants you so badly, Moon. Let it love you completely and maybe, just maybe, I could be better.

- Aurora Borealis // November 11th, 2017

[heavensghost]

[euo]

Don’t fucking touch me, I don’t want you to be dirty too

Drawing By

[collidingouratoms-blog]

The Demons That Haunt Her

She tells me her demons have found her and they're coming to get her. She's so scared, I can see it in her sad, fearful eyes. I want to hold her and tell her she's fine, but I know that she's not. She screams and yells at me, I know it's because of them so I try to not let it get to me. I know they're closer to her, I know they're just about ready to tear her apart. I don't know her anymore. She's become someone she said she'd never become. It's not her fault, it's theirs. They've got her and they're killing her from the inside out. I thought I could save her, but I was wrong. I should've known all along that I couldn't, that the only person who could was her.

I'm still here, but she's just a far off memory. So far, she looks like a mirage now. I'm here, but she's gone.

- Aurora Borealis // May 26th, 2017

[collidingouratoms-blog]

"They say actions speak louder than words, so when you say you love me but still ignore me, I know that you don't."

- Aurora Borealis // May 9th, 2017

[collidingouratoms-blog]

"I was so in love with you I was completely blindsided by your lies. And I didn't see the gun you had pointed right at my heart."

- Aurora Borealis // May 2nd, 2017

[theprocast]

it goes like this: looking at her makes you feel all kinds of things. hot and cold and stupidly brave, but it also fills you with doubts from head to toe. it scares you. looking at her scares you. and you wonder how something so simple can make you feel happy, yet incredibly sad. you think: it must be her face. it must be how her eyes light up when she laughs, or the way she crinkles her nose. you think: it must be her determination. it must be how she knows exactly what she wants. at first you can’t get enough of sneaking glances, of holding her hand, but later even the simplest things are enough to send you running. you don’t know who you are when you’re around her. you’re impulsive and bursting with confidence. you’re a wildfire. and you’re bound to get burnt. but the longer you stare, the more you get lost in her dark eyes and you wonder: am i all that? is she worth the pain? the effort? and oh, she is. and you know. that’s what scares you. it goes like this: her arms are snaked around your torso and being held by her makes you feel all kinds of things. strong and invincible, but soon enough, you falter. because in the end, she leaves you feeling weak. it hurts you. being held by her hurts you. and you wonder how something so simple can be so confusing, so contradicting. you don’t know who you are around her. you find yourself laughing at her jokes, and wondering how to get away from her only moments later. you are a single leaf caught in the eye of a storm. you think: it’s because she’s too much. but is she? are you sure you were ever enough?

are you enough? / n.j. (via theprocast)

[straw-berrydemon]

Hey. I miss you. I think about you every time I start a new show. Every time a new season comes up on Netflix of our favorite shows. You know, the ones we both used to fangirl over? Yeah, those. I’ve been wanting to talk to you about these new shows I’ve seen, too. I think you’d love them. I think about talking to you about them and it breaks my heart.

I don’t know, hey. Every song I listen to reminds me of you. No matter what, you’re the one person that pops up. They remind me of you and the memories so much. They make me want to die. I don’t have you anymore.

Hi, so. I’ve been thinking about messaging you. To apologize, again. You told me you forgave me, but the problem is I haven’t forgiven myself. I don’t think I ever can. I think this is just a part of me. I want to message you. I want to tell you that I’m still in love with you. That, no matter where I am or what I’m doing, I’m still thinking about you. The girl who broke my heart. The one that got away. I always convince myself that I shouldn’t. I said goodbye. That was a real goodbye. I knew that you were better off without me, that was why I had to go. I had to let you live your life and be happy. I know that you’re happier now. I hurt you, why wouldn’t you have moved on?

Hey, and. Yeah, I hurt you, but you hurt me even more. I was struggling and I didn’t want you to. You couldn’t deal with it, you couldn’t handle me, I get that but if that was the case, you shouldn’t have lied. The truth would’ve been so much better. Why couldn’t you tell me the truth? You were already talking to someone else. The last time I left, you already had someone else, didn’t you? You already knew you would leave me. So, what was the use in lying? In leading me on if you were losing feelings, if you were talking to someone else? I still don’t get it, I need you to explain, please.

Yeah, hey. I just want you to talk to me. Tell me that you miss me. That you miss the sound of my voice and the way I used to look at you. Tell me you miss my attempts to make you feel better and our phone calls. Tell me that you still love me. Even if you don’t. For fucks sake, tell me you hate me even. I’m tired of hearing nothing but white noise from you. I just need to hear from you.

Hey. Again. I want to know how you are. Are you doing okay? I know the anniversary of your brother’s death just passed. I’m sorry I couldn’t be there for you. We were friends before this thing between us happened, if I knew that it would end like this then I would’ve never started anything. Well, I shouldn’t say that. I definitely would’ve done something, I was falling head over heels in love with you. How could I do nothing when you said you loved me too. I know you’re dealing with a lot of shit right now, I’m sorry. When I told you that you deserved happiness more than anyone in the world, I meant it. You really do. You have a big heart, love. You’re loyal, you’d kill anyone who hurts anyone you love, and you’re adoringly caring to those you love. You love with everything that’s in you. You’re brilliant, god you’re fucking brilliant. Angel, don’t let anyone ever tell you you’re not anything you think you are or aren’t, whatever. Don’t let them change you, don’t let them take apart what you have in your heart. That’s what’s keeping you alive.

Hey. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you.

Hey. I, honest to god, can’t stop thinking about you.

Hey. I love you. Even when I shouldn’t. I still stupidly love you.

- A.B. // Oct. 27th, 2017

[heavensghost]

Cough it out // the front bottoms