you stole

colm faulkner, 27. PTSD, Alcohol Dependence, Sleep Terror Disorder; Rosewood.

[colm-faulkner]

[colm-faulkner]

[colm-faulkner]

[colm-faulkner]

[oliverqveen]

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[colm-faulkner]

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[ignitetheliight]

[colm-faulkner]

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[colm-faulkner]

[colm-faulkner]

[be-brave-for-me]

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[liara-pond]

I don’t think you should. [The words taste bitter on her tongue. Like stale thoughts that have lingered too long where they shouldn’t have been. She breathes them out, and replaces them with cold air, like it might fill the hole they’re creating.]

[colm-faulkner]

[Colm can only go through it so many times. He's not as resilient as he used to be, can't take rejection after rejection after rejection and he doesn't want to leave her because he knows it'll be a mistake. But it's hard when all she ever tells him is no.] Okay. [He takes another step back, a solid one where he knows it's just a slow form of the distance he'll have to create.] But I don't want to leave. I'm gonna. You know, I'm gonna. Because it's what you want. Just, know that I don't want to. [He takes one more step back before he turns and he walks back toward the big sliding door where instead of the productive day like he imagined, he's gonna go lay on his bed and bury his head into the pillow so it seems dark and then he's gonna try all day just to sleep, stuck in the middle and defeating the purpose of coming out here in the first place.]

[colm-faulkner]

liara-pond:

Do you really think that this is working, Colm? [She doesn’t mean to blurt it out. But, at this point, it doesn’t feel like an option. It feels like something that spills out from cracks in her brain, building up more and more until the dam breaks and she’s giving him nothing he wants to hear. Her stomach jolts. And there it is.]

[He hates the words, hates the look on her face, and hates that she's right. Because she's not asking if he thinks it's working, she's telling him it's not. She's telling him that they are failing no matter who tries how hard.] No, but I'm trying. [And despite that he knows it's not enough, it's the best he has.]

[colm-faulkner]

liara-pond:

I don’t know. [She doesn’t. Not really. But it doesn’t matter, because he’s always going to be asking if she does. And when she doesn’t, it’s always going to be worse for him. Even if she knew exactly what she wanted, it’s always like this. Always.] To be alone, maybe. I don’t know.

That's what you want? To be alone? [He doesn't know whether to stay and fight or leave her alone like she wants, because he's been told to be there for her whenever he can. He's been told to give up. This wasn't how he wanted to be woken up. He just wanted the cold air to rush against his skin and hit like waves, biting, cleansing waves.]