I'm The Trash Man

Some people call me Spanner, and my mom told me it's dangerous to tell people your name on the internet. I like to write stories, doodle, act, and I play guitar like a sweaty try-hard. I like animals. Expect cats.

[redactedbiboy-deactivated201812]

d&d setting where all the elves use too many apostrophes because they talk with a southern accent, featuring the magical sword y’all’d’ve

[gremlinblender]

@the-real-seebs

[the-real-seebs]

demon: WHO WOULD HAVE DARED STAND AGAINST ME?

elf: I’d’ve.

demon: Wait is that your name or are you just saying you would have?

elf: fuck.

elf: you.

[copperbadge]

elf: We come from the land of yer mom’n’em. 

[loremerchant]

Man ‘at ol’ dang ol’ Uruk-Hai man takin’em dang’ol hobbits up yunder t’Isengard tell ya what man.

[safetybunny]

@cryosession

[kasaron]

[you-do-not-know]

yes

[friendly-neighborhood-patriarch]

@renegadebusiness

[ninja-pyro]

I haven’t seen @kasaron s addition before

[sarlione]

@mbtiguy BRAD THE BARD?

[mbtiguy-archive]

WHO THE FUCK IS WATCHING MY DND CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT?!?!?!?!

[charlesoberonn]

Poison is a magical transmutation potion that transforms people into corpses.

[chefpyro]

This knife is actually a magic wand

[charlesoberonn]

Meet me in the Denny’s parking lot for a wizard duel.

[chefpyro]

*cocks gun* magic missile

[neithernownoreverheythatsclever]

[color-me-spanner]

EXTRA, EXTRA! HEAR ALL ABOUT IT!

MEDIOCRE PODCAST HITS ITS 8TH EPISODE!

[color-me-spanner]

You've gotta' bear with us on this one. It's been... Well, it's been longer than we thought. The podcasting gloves were a little rusty, and they gave a couple of us some unmentionable skin conditions.

In this year's inaugural episode, the boys bring on a guest host and talk about the chaos of 2016, come up with some DIY abortion alternatives, and triple-handedly lay the foundation for the best horror movie of 2017.

[shitpostgenerator]

friendly reminder that suspiciously large horses are not allowed here

[angry-eevee]

shitpostgenerator would have won the Trojan War.

[comparingmeerkats]

my mum was telling me that when i was little there was a grasshopper on the car but i didn’t know what grasshoppers were called so i pointed at it and said “look at that handsome man”

[sagacanon0511-blog]

Happy new year my loves

[dreamofspring]

got meme | Location ◦ I couldn’t choose just two!

[thebsdboys]

OK first you’re being a total dick right now,

[50starsand13bars-deactivated201]

Don’t stereotype us and then complain if we stereotype you.

[jesscaasqueaks]

actually this is the “my daddy pays for everything and ive never had a job GO Greek!” outfit. 

[heartbreakes]

The “My name is Preston, and I enjoy roofie-ing girls with my best buds and wearing matching sweaters” look

[clarknokent]

The ” I’ve never been with a black girl before haha” look

[threesideddream]

The “I’m drunk on somebody else’s PBR, when are you gonna play some Imagine Dragons, brah?” look

[thisiswhiteculture]

The “My Best FRiend Is Black. I Forgot His Name and Don’t Invite Him to My Neighborhood Though” look

[hashtagloveloses]

the “I’ve Never Taken Public Transportation in My Life and Snort Coke in the Back of an Uber” look

[didntfitthenarrative]

The “I act like a stereotypical high school movie jock but the only sport I play is golf” look

[mixedapocalyptic]

The “Don’t stereotype us and complain if we stereotype you” outift

[calendrierroi]

The last one tho .^^^

[thesoftghetto]

the “What would you do if i was there next to you right now” outfit

[marqweabyss]

The “I say nigga sometimes with my friends when nobodies around” outfit

[bytdwd-deactivated20160724]

Lmfao

[anomaly1]

The “I like instigating fights but if you hit me my daddy will sue” outfit

[maxvista-deactivated20161110]

The “without me?” outfit

[reverseracism]

The “poor people are lazy and my parents are rich because they work hard outfit”

[joshs-friend-tyler]

The “u got kik” outfit

[dahli-uh]

The “nah I could never be friends with a gay person. What if they hit on me?” Outfit

[color-me-spanner]

The "I'm so insecure about my sexuality-- no homo" outfit

[scoobydoomistakes]

The longer you look at Shaggy’s arms… the more you realize how weird and terrifying they are.

[scoobydoomistakes]

I love checking the blog’s activity feed from time to time, and seeing what old post someone just saw for the very first time…

…that then promptly scarred them forever due to Shaggy’s terrifying arms.

[dreamameme]

[scoobydoomistakes]

So, Scoob, Shag, Scrappy, and the lil’ dragon land in front of a castle.

And look beautifully distorted from the impact, I’ll add.

They reach the wooden gates, but– oh noes! It’s locked!

The dragon breathes fire on the lock, but…

…oh noes twice! The lock is a special fire-resistant type!

Well, fortunately, there’s still an easy solution. Let’s look at the facts of the situation, here.

1. You’ve got a dragon with fire hot enough to melt/burn even metal, and did so multiple times earlier in the movie

2. You need to get through a door made of wood

Are you thinking what I’m thinking?

Because the obvious solution is to have Scooby pick the lock with his tail.

I mean, duh.

[marshmalllow]

the songs like “scooby doo where r you” but he’s always right there. like the fucking dog is never hiding or missing or anything so what the hell

[honeyproducer-blog]

He hides from the monsters. Please learn your facts before your open your god damn mouth about scooby doo

[twitblr]

Fake Number

[ddbofthestars]