hand covers bruise

like the season. reeling through the midnight streets

[preston-griffiths]

Yeah, yeah, fine, just knee deep in bullshit as per usual.

[colorsofa-utumn]

That sounds... not fun. Do you need any help? I can do a lot of things, you know. Like make really good cupcakes.

[preston-griffiths]

For the love of god…

[colorsofa-utumn]

You doing alright?

[lexi-patterson]

Thanks to the amazingly thin walls of my apartment, I now know that my roommate’s sex life is going just great.

[colorsofa-utumn]

You could always leave passive-aggressive notes telling her to keep it down. That's what my roommate does sometimes.

[charlesxaviered-blog]

Oh, well that sucks. Doesn’t mean you’re dumb, though. 

Plus, dogs are usually good about coming back. And dog catchers aren’t cruel like in the movies.

[colorsofa-utumn]

Tori loves that thing more than I love pesto pasta, and believe me, I love pesto pasta a lot.

[thecarterdouglas-deactivated201]

Fuck, I didn’t mean it that way. We’ll find him, I’m sure of it.

[colorsofa-utumn]

But if we don't? Then what?

[emmajstone]

[colorsofa-utumn]

autumn valli + outfits

[eric-rohmer]

[janell-hill-deactivated20140218]

You’re not dumb. I promise.

[colorsofa-utumn]

I lost a living, breathing thing, and now Tori's really, really mad at me. I messed up.

[thecarterdouglas-deactivated201]

Shouldn’t be a problem. Probably be easier than finding your roommate’s little Killer.

[colorsofa-utumn]

No. No, don't say that. Killer? Killer!

[thecarterdouglas-deactivated201]

What? No! No, that’s not what I meant! No, one of the dives I use to work in was a local favorite for the police. They would stop in and get their coffee and get their food. It’s how I got out of most of my speeding tickets.

[colorsofa-utumn]

Much better than serial murderer. I don't drive, but I got a citation the other day for jay walking. Think you can talk me out of that one?

[charlesxaviered-blog]

Oh, don’t be so hard on yourself. What’s wrong?

[colorsofa-utumn]

I left the door to my apartment open by accident and my best friend's dog got out.

[bayernmoneyich-blog1]

Dumb? Why?

[colorsofa-utumn]

I lost my best friend's dog. How do you even do that? Like, how could I be so stupid?

[colorsofa-utumn]

Into the Unknown || Tori + Autumn

[rachel--thorne-deactivated20141]

Pathetic. That was what the girl was calling herself. When things didn’t go quite her way, she couldn’t help but default to blaming herself and all her inadequacies. They all added up to Tori being one thing: pathetic. Her mother had drilled it into her every time she failed that only losers failed, only pathetic people lost. She didn’t want to be one of those people. Too many times had she failed and if she couldn’t even keep a dog, then what the hell was she doing with her life? All of it came back on her - though not really. These facts were really just fictions made up with the brunette’s mind that added to the all ready heavy weight that caused her shoulders to sag and a perpetual dark cloud to hang over her head.

Clearing her throat Tori started to slip into her coat once more, movements mechanical and stiff. She took the cup, taking a long drink as if it would somehow give her strength or comfort or warmth. “Let’s just get this over with.” The sooner that they found her dog, the sooner she would be normal; less anxious and pessimistic and scattered. It had been a task just to focus during rehearsals today wondering if her dog was out in the cold somewhere dying. If she couldn’t raise a dog then thank whatever higher power that she wasn’t a mother. She wouldn’t have been good for Isabella. She wouldn’t have known what to do with a baby, with a tiny person that would grow with each day that passed.

"Yeah, yeah. Fuck positivity. Let’s just go." Being positive had never helped her with anything. There was no point in it. Realism helped people through situations, not wishes for a good outcome. Taking Autumn’s hand without really thinking about the action, the brunette laced her fingers with the redhead’s and gave her arm a tug in a signal to start walking.

[colorsofa-utumn]

Taking a sip of her drink, Autumn prayed it would take effect soon, otherwise the stress of finding the dog in this weather would probably drive her to tears. Even the most minuscule amount of frustration often prompted crying. She wasn't sure how many times she'd cried in front of Tori because of deadlines, or other stupid reasons. But she could definitely say how many times Tori cried in front of her. Which was none.

She was probably the weaker of the two, relying heavily on the brunette, but what made her feel better about it was that Tori needed her too. Lips pursing slightly at Tori's rejection of her suggestion, Autumn said nothing, fingers immediately intertwining with her friend's as she grabbed her hand. It was gestures like these that always made it all worth it. She liked feeling important and needed, as cocky as that sounded. Or maybe it was just the reassurance that this entire thing wasn't one-sided.

Following behind, she found herself shuffling closer to Tori as they left the warmth of their apartment. Chicago weathers were infamous for being unkind, and any warmth was almost welcomed. The thermos in her hand provided some heat, but not as much as their interlocked fingers. "Thanks for not being too mad," she said quietly.

[thecarterdouglas-deactivated201]

Oh no no no no. Either they will run away or call the cops. If the cops show up, leave the talking to me. I’ve had a fair share of run ins with them.

[colorsofa-utumn]

You're not a killer, are you?

[thecarterdouglas-deactivated201]

Ok, good. Not that I want a yellow shower, mind you. Hopefully we don’t get too many strange looks as we shout Killer around Chicago.

[colorsofa-utumn]

You don't think anyone will try to shoot us, do you?

[colorsofa-utumn]

Into the Unknown || Tori + Autumn

[rachel--thorne-deactivated20141]

For someone else, it might seem odd that someone would get so upset over the loss of a pet. There were certain people who held attachments to their pets for whatever reason, and Tori was one of those people. She had adopted Killer a year ago in New York and from that moment on he was her child. She cared for that dog more than she cared for most people that she met. Something about the way he looked at her like he depended on her for his life, like she could protect him and care for him, felt familiar. Not that she would say it out loud, but it was the exact look she could remember on Isabella’s face. That was the only memory Tori had of her daughter and so what if she manifested that lost child in a semi-helpless puppy? It didn’t hurt anyone but the brunette herself.

Rolling her eyes, Tori allowed herself to smile a soft sort of smile. “Yeah, I know that. Because you’re an annoying pest that just won’t leave me alone for whatever reason.” It never ceased to amaze her why anyone found any interest in her. Brandon, Jayme, Evan, Autumn - they were all such different people, but they all saw something in her (and maybe it was the same thing that drew them all to her), but she failed to find it in herself. All she saw was a girl who was more than a little jaded with little to no social skills and a tongue far to sharp for friend making. Her thoughts distracted her from the idea that she just may never find her dog again.

Tori didn’t blame Autumn. That would be pointless and the girl liked to think that she never did anything that lacked a point. The fact still stood that it was Autumn’s fault and there was a part of her, a small irrational part that couldn’t separate daughter and pet, that told her that she should be reacting more fiercely to this rather than someone who had lost a battle that had not yet begun. “You’re probably right. This sounds so selfish, but I’ve been working and I haven’t had much time to do anything other than come back home and crash. Opening night is soon and my partner is still tripping up in the pas de deux and - I just want my dog back.”

[colorsofa-utumn]

Staying anchored in one place with one person wasn't something Autumn ever did. With her parents constantly traveling around, switching beds, houses, cities, states, there was no place Autumn truly had to call home. And she grew up, never giving it a second thought, never thinking there was any other way to live. But meeting Tori and moving to Chicago seemed to bring out a need Autumn didn't even know she had, and seeing someone who she started a new life with so upset killed her inside. That, and Autumn was unusually sensitive, Tori almost acting as her polar opposite. While Tori had that disciplined, graceful dancer bit about her, Autumn was unrestricted and unplanned. 

And sure, it had it's perks. Doing art to her was something that was supposed to be loose and without boarders, not tight and neat. But most of the time, it seemed to make her unreliable and unpredictable, and she wasn't sure how Tori hadn't just kicked her out from the amount of times she'd fucked up: spilling paint on clothing and furniture, missing birthdays and recitals, never jotting down names and numbers of people who called for Tori and then forgetting to tell her about them. And now she lost Killer.

Padding back to the kitchen, she lifted the two thermoses from their spots and handed Tori's off to her, making sure to keep the spiked one to herself. She'd already let a dog out, there was no need to drug the girl too. "That's not selfish," she assured her, finger absently tracing around the cup's lip. "I want him back too." Though, she assumed, for an entirely different reason than Tori did. "And we'll find him, I know we will. We just gotta stay positive, you know?"

[thecarterdouglas-deactivated201]

Alright, lead the way. I hope Killer isn’t as vicious as his name.

[colorsofa-utumn]

He's tiny. I can pick him up with one hand. The worst thing he'll do is pee on you.