Real Parties of Last Night: Molly
Last Night may be a fictional web-series, but the gang’s party lifestyle is very real. Real Parties of Last Night sits down with the cast and crew of the show to hear their real life party experiences. This week, we asked Molly, who plays her namesake character, to tell us one story from her partying catalogue.
In an unplanned coincidence, this week's new episode is all about being Dads, and Molly told us a story about how she almost adopted her own family after one night (or morning?) of partying.
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First Day of Bass Fishing
I had gone to Delaware with my improv team [Spooky Ghost] to perform. I hadn’t been in college for awhile, so I had forgotten what drinking in college was like. We did our show, and we ended up back at some guy’s house to party - but I must have gone on a tear because I remember probably about 5 minutes of the actual party, and then I passed out downstairs.
This had happened before, but sometimes I’ll get way too drunk too early and then wake up bat-shit wasted first thing in the morning. So… that’s what I did in this case.
I woke up at 6 in the morning and then tried to wake everyone up because I didn’t get to party and wanted to try and party [then]. I tried molesting everyone awake… John [Trowbridge], Hunter Nelson, and Matthew Brian Cohen… and then I was just like fuck it, I’m leaving...I’m going on an adventure.
Keep in mind that it was 6 in the morning and I was WASTED. Wasted. I had never been in Delaware before. I left through the front door and there was this street, and on the other side of the street there was just woods. And I was like, “Yeah, this looks good”. I went over to the woods and then I walked down the path for a little bit, and all of a sudden there was this big drop-off. At the bottom of the drop-off was this river.
So I was like, “Sweet, cool!” and that’s when I saw a guy down there - he was between 25 or 30. I yell, “What are you doing?” and then he looked up at me, because this was just a fisherman in Delaware, trying to fish on the river, and this girl in party clothes was yelling at him at 6 in the morning.
He looked up at me and said, “Fishing.”
So I go, “Cool, I’m coming down.”
I scaled down to the river to where the guy was. He told me it was the first day of bass fishing. He was there with his step son. His step son’s name was Dale and his name was Kenny Thomas Baylor. Anyways, they taught me how to fish and we talked about our lives. I went fishing for a while, but I didn’t catch anything. Then, I started hitting it off with the dad.
So, Kenny sent his stepson down the stream a little bit to go fish by himself. And when Dale was just out of view, he kissed me. So I had this very romantic moment by the water.
At that point, the son came back. And it was as if I had joined the family unit. I was now the mother, this child was now my stepson, and I had a new husband. It felt like we’d all agreed on this.
We took a little jaunt in the woods, we ate some snacks, and it felt like this was my new life. I was having a grand old time. Things got really emotional. Kenny told me about his brother that recently died. He cried, we both cried.
Then, all of a sudden, I heard “Molly!” and It was Hunter Nelson, Alex French, and Matthew Brian Cohen from my improv team. I could barely recognize the voices because they felt like people from a past life. But, they came upon me in the woods, and they saw me with my new family. They looked at me like I was nuts and said, “hey Molly… it’s time to come back home” and I responded, “Nope, I have a new family now.” But then they were like, “No really, you have to come back.” So I said fine...but I took my sweet time.
And so I was ripped away from my new family by my stupid improv group. I said goodbye to Kenny and Dale and then went back to my improv party life.
When I finally went back to the house, I looked in the mirror. And I thought I had pulled it off that morning, that I wasn’t just a drunk girl. But I looked in the mirror and I saw that I had mascara smudged down both sides of my face like a fucking psycho.
I don’t know what Kenny and Dale were thinking.
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Molly Gaebe is a writer/performer for Buzz Off Lucille and you can follow her on Twitter @mollygaebe.
Watch Molly in episode 206 of Last Night, out today, here.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x_PBQpXqoE8&index=1&list=PL7OvAU0-OBpx3mydtErZLOLrUUcw-5O9p