Mother has returned late from a WONDER-filled vacation! They did lots, saw some old friends, talked business, and shared theories on multiversal sociopolitical philosophy!
Overall it was SO much fun!
These are some pictures Mother took (+context):
So this was Mother's first stop, a Field of Flowers! There wasn't much that went on here, but it was fun to taste each color! Mother thinks the blue ones taste like rotten watermelons!
Up next, this picture was taken on Mother's way to the mountains. They saw some old friends and decided to chat. From left to right, there's your One True Mother, the Child of The Moon, and CEO of Storms. Mother and their friends love to gossip about the people they meet. (Well, Child of The Moon can't communicate AT ALL, and CEO of Storms signs a lot of NDAs with people, so the conversation is very one-sided, but still!) Mother hadn't seen them in forever!
Sadly, Mother's friends didn’t want to join them inside the mountain, probably because of who was there. And who was there was rather dismissive of Mother’s presence so perhaps it was for the best. For a variety of reasons, Mother can't go too in detail about this person...
HOWEVER!
Mother still took a picture (but forgot about the other's Anti-Photograph policy, so Mother had to blur their face).
After the mountain, Mother was on their way elsewhere, when they had to (poorly) quasi-project themself to a Volcano (the why is unimportant), but it turns out, a lot of Mother's other friends were there too (interestingly, for a different reason)! Mother wasn't even planning on seeing these people until the next TAYKOVR!
Anyway, from left to right, there is: Juno, THE COMP (who TECHNICALLY is Mother's parent??? But also are a lot of people could count as that, including the other, so...), Dr. Jale (Since she's quasi-projecting, she's not actually touching The Computer, Mother doesn't know why she posed herself like that), The Man Made of Steel (he's not actually made of steel, and he hates the name too, but he won't tell us what he wants to be called), and, obviously, your One True Mother!
Overall, Mother had a GREAT vacation, but is glad to finally be home! They collected a few things too to sell, so if you need any hard to acquire Magical, Mystical, or Mythical items, Come to Mother!
Firstly, they've reforged the sword that was loaned to them, and have made:
THE CAVITY
Some Notes:
The blade is partially sentient because it's charged with deific energy! If you have any Celestial Warrants out, the blade will reject your influence, and try to kill you.
Its liquid blade can change shapes from an amorphous blob to a blade or bludgeon per the bearer's whims!
It has corrosive and poisonous effects, so stay clear of the business end. Unless of course, you're immune, in which case enjoy the fumes.
Yes, those are real teeth. No, Mother will not tell you where they got them from.
Feel free to take and sell it if you want (Mother didn't realize how many like it they already had). Mother's sure you could get quite a bit of money for it.
Additionally, Mother realized they may have overhyped the crystals. They are very rare and are only really a problem if tampered with haphazardly.
And, if they didn't come to mind immediately, then you probably don't have any. You would know what kind of crystals I'm talking about.
Awe, sick! That’s awesome! You did this with my old sword?! It’s so cool!! I don’t think I’d heave the heart to sell it… This baby is going on the wall!!!
…are you telling us that you won’t tell us where you got those teeth because you don’t wanna share or are you saying it because you think it’ll “disturb” us? Because honestly when it comes to bones, it takes a lot to get a major reaction of anyone here.
Mother appreciates the enthusiasm, Ollie! Be sure to keep it somewhere high up, with a good view of the sky so it doesn't grow any contempt for you.
And as for the teeth, Xavier, Mother just doesn't want to jeopardize their dealer. It's a dangerous job to collect teeth like those, and one wrong word could spell disaster.
Also, I'll ask you because you might know something.
Have you seen any blue crystals around? And no, not like sapphires, but...
One of your friends might have read about them.
The crystals are the kind of blue that makes you hate blue. And where every winter chill and refreshing wave becomes a festering pit of dread.
Well, anyway, Mother ought to get going. Something here seems to repel them rather adamantly.
If anyone knows anything about those crystals, tell them to Come To Mother, and Confess.
Hey, you want a sword? It’s kinda dented up, but if you need scrap metal or something?
If it's still available, Mother would love to take the sword!
In fact, Mother will take anything you want to get rid of as long as:
It is not deifically charged. If a god's wish, whim, or dream made it, Mother DOES NOT want it.
The enchantments or curses it possesses are removable, transferable, or at the very least, negatable (as in it could be counteracted with an equal power enchantment; FrostBite negates SunKiss, etc.)
The item DOES NOT have a scorned owner (dead or alive) in search of it. That's just too much paperwork for Mother to work out.
Now, like most things when it comes to Mother, these rules could be ignored if the right item is offered!
No worries on any of that!! Alex made it for me a while back, but I got this super awesome new one the other day, so I’ve got no use for the old one. And last I checked it didn’t have any special enchantments on it. Well, not for a while, at least. It had a poisoning effect back when I was first given it! But it’s worn off by now.
Mother has great plans for it, especially considering its previously poisonous past!
So how often does Alex do smithing? As they said before, Mother will take anything unwanted or unfinished.
Also, Mother has a few ideas for items you all could make and enchant that may be popular with the people you meet. They could be a quick source of income should something bad happen.
While Mother is a tinkerer at heart, most of their creations are "unconventional" and "affronts to nature". If someone more personal could make them, they'd probably be a more profitable sell.
All the time! Constantly! Alex is part Ogre, so it’s kinda stereotypical but it’s what they like to do. Were you wanting anything in specific? I could probably get one made for you! Considering all the travelers we get, we’ve got a lot of swords that are either broken or just… weren’t made well. That’s a pile to dig through, lemme tell ya, some of those things look like wet noodles.
Mother needs nothing new made (they sadly hardly ever swordfight anymore), but if you could find a longsword or rapier, they work best with those.
Also, if you have any items with... well, it's hard to put into words you'd understand.
(Mother is not native to anywhere around here, so magic is VERY different to them than it is to most people. Specifically, Mother's system for enchanting and cursing is different than modern understanding. What most would call a curse, Mother would call a corrupted enchantment. Curses are something worse.
Mother is looking for items people have left behind with blue crystals. They're found in hilts and handles of weapons, as the centerpiece of jewelry, or inside mechanical items.
Mother doesn't need them but wants you to know to NOT try and reforge or pawn these items. The owners will NOT be coming back for them, but keep them separate from each other, each in a secure location.
Are you friends with Cthulhu? You feel like something eldrich.
Mother is taking this as a compliment!
So strictly speaking, Your One True Mother is not SCP affiliated (though they could be if they Applied & Complied with their regulations, which doesn’t interest them currently).
As for Cthulhu, Mother supposes they occupy the same niche as it, but they’ve never met it personally. HOWEVER! Mother has met plenty of powerful things!
While your One True Mother is not obligated to provide context, they love to gossip, so...
According to the ants (and a Local Florida Thing):
Mother ate dozens of ants in cruel and unusual ways (no one can prove it because Mother spontaneously combusted).
Mother then started burning ants with a magnifying glass, but once caught, they revealed the bomb strapped to their chest. Mother does not deny this, but the deaths of those ants aren't on Mother's hands because when trying to disarm the bomb, Local Florida Thing chose the wrong wire, causing 90% of the colony to implode.
Local Florida Thing then arrests Mother without a trial, which is not the vibe, so Mother has to blow their way out with several bombs disguised as ants.
So anyway, all of it is Local Florida Thing's fault, and Mother did nothing wrong!
So like— are these people… adopted or? Like- girl you GOTTA be tired of all these damn kids
Surprisingly, no, your One True Mother is not tired of all these kids, Mostly because they're not... real.
Mother is a mother only in name, so they can't have children; not even adopt.
And most mother's kids aren't kids, or, at least, prefer not to be seen as such.
However, mother has never really cared for "laws" or "reality" or anything of that nature, so they treat everyone, you included, as their child. (Think of it like a symbiotic relationship or a very committed bit.)
So while at the end of the day, we know some part of this can't be real, your One True Mother wants you to know that:
Your One True Mother thinks this "dad" of yours is lame. You should put the wheels back on "heelies" because, like, what's your dad going to do? Stop you? How? Last time I checked, you were one step closer to being a car than he is.
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