cometyourtits @cometyourtits - Tumblr Blog

I'm not perfect. I have flaws. I have problems. It just depends on who I vent to.

Today I faced one of my fears, the capability of me becoming a serial killer. You'd think 'you're just thinking that, that won't actually happen', but it can, and it's scaring me, so I spoke to someone who'd understand my head, because no one ever seems to, and I can honestly say I feel better. Maybe it was his words or maybe because I have someone to talk to now who knows what it's like, so, maybe I guess, this is my rehabilitation.

This is me getting better.

Because no matter what, no one is perfect.

In all honesty, I've been called fat, even by my friend, and when she said that, she meant it, not in a joking manner, she actually thought of me as a fat person. The truth is, as much as everyone thinks, I'm not. I'm perfectly fine. I'm 135 pounds and I'm 5'4. You may say that's not the average weight, but it is. What people think is the average size, 90 pounds, 100 pounds, 85 pounds, that's corruption.

I hate how people, and media, scrutinize those in Hollywood for gaining a few pounds, I also hate how people say you're beautiful no matter what your size, but they date skinny models and google pictures of fit and firm men.

And just...I'm fine the way I look. Those diet pills I save weeks for, I don't need them. So what if I can't wear those clothes shown in magazines, so what if I can't play the sexy lead lady in a movie, it's not my fault, it's the world for making people thinking thin is in, everyone loves a thin girl.

People complain about anorexia cases, but who's really to blame? The girl for being a victim of bullying from her classmates who were alienated by pictures and fashion ads?

Girl, you're beautiful.

Regarding Kurtofsky cause I honestly don't want to see what will happen if I post this on my actual account.

I hate how it started. I hate how the kiss went. It was played out beautifully, but the look on Kurt's face, you can call it really good acting, or maybe, maybe it was really a little bit of Chris. When I see the gif of their kiss, I see the force, how Karofsky's fingers dig into Kurt's cheeks, the way his hair bounces as his face is pulled, and the real, total force used to mash their lips together,

it makes my heart ache.

Maybe it's cause I wanted Kurt's first kiss to be cliched and romantic, or maybe because I don't want them to end up together, but I do, not whole-heartedly, but I'd like to see how the writers will work with it.

It's just the kiss, it still hurts a bit, I guess.

I am number two.

Pottermore speaking.

I know that I want to be in Slytherin. My hatred for Gryffindors, my affinity for the color green, my mean and 'do-what-it-takes-to-get-what-I-want' attitude and my 'everyone-is-stupid' mindset.

But then I realize, after hitting Ravenclaw twice, maybe I am supposed to be in Ravenclaw. I only realized it now, but I am smart. People just don't see it cause I downplay it.

But I have my way with words, I have my way with numbers, I can make something so simple so complicated, and vice versa. I just don't want to show it. Cause people know me best as the 'I-hate-everything' type of person, not the 'smart-ass-why-are-you-still-here' type.

It sucks, you know, not being able to show that you actually can do something, your skills and talents downplayed since everyone else knows half of the population, well, they believe that half of the world's population is smarter than you, but I guess, well it serves me right.

We just have to wait and see.

#nine #now eight #are any of you out there?

There is a moment when you go over blood

Ever since that moment I accidentally stabbed myself, I've been infatuated with blood, killing, murder, pain, all that jazz.

I've seen almost every episode of CSI, I've been hooked on The Killing, books with murder, crime, books about them too. I've planned murders, weapons, instructions, what do to, how to do it.

I love knives, I love seeing blood, I love seeing blood come out from other people, but I love blood coming out of people due to me and a knife the most.

I'm just blood-thirsty, I want to kill.

In fact, I think maybe I was born too.

and sometimes you just have pain

I like you, okay? No, I love you. I always have. Ever since we were kids. Ever since we were 5. I loved you when you were my partner during the field trips. I loved you when you were the only one who didn't laugh when we did that minor mistake during the presentation of honors. I loved you when I left our school and went to a new one. I loved you when I was in sixth grade. I loved you when I was a freshman in high school, and I still love you now. It's been 10 years, do me a favor and break my heart.

#2 - with bad punctuations and capitalization

I just made this with a sudden rush of anger and hatred about my friends so

i hate it

i hate it all

i hate how all of you see me is prim and proper buck who just hates everything because that’s how she rolls with her snarky comments and ‘ha you suck’ replies and then all you guys do’s complain about how your life fucking sucks

YOU THINK MINE FUCKING DOESN’T?

you always talk about ‘omfg it’s the end of the world i didnt spend 20 hours of my day dedicated to my boyfriend NOOOOOOOO’ WELL EARTH TO YOU, YOU’RE AN ASS. YOU HAVE BEEN EVER SINCE THAT BOYFRIEND OF YOURS. HE’S NOT GOOD FOR YOU, AND YOU’RE NOT GOOD FOR HIM. YOUR WHOLE GIMICK IS FUCKING STUPID AND IT FUCKING ANNOYS ME SO FUCKING MUCH WHEN THE FUCK WILL IT GET TO YOU THAT NO, YOU TWO WONT LAST FOREVER SO IF I WERE YOU SET THAT IN YOUR HEAD AND GET YOUR STUPID, DISGUSTING EXCUSE YOU CALL FOR FEELINGS OUT.

and you, everyone loves you, really, everyone does, you’re the beautiful, magnificent, talented, unpopular girl, you talk about ‘lol i fucking h8 being a girl!!’ but in truth you love flaunting that cause you know what you’re capable of doing AND IT ANNOYS ME SO FUCKING MUCH AND UGH FUCK

i cant say anything bad about you, you’re too nice for that

THEN WE HAVE YOU LITTLE MISS REBEL DAUGHTER, YEAH, SO YOU’RE ABUSED BY YOUR PARENTS, SO THEY HIT YOU, AND YOU DONT LIKE IT, WELL I KNOW, MAYBE TELL THE COPS, unless of course you’re lying then fuck you for making that up, AND FOR GOD’S SAKE STOP BRINGING YOUR PHONE TO SCHOOL IT’S SO FUCKING STUPID WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO ACCOMPLISH ‘HEY I HAVE MY PHONE I MUST BE COOL’ YEAH SO DOES 75% OF THE POPULATION OF THIS HELL HOLE STOP IT AND YOU AND UY WHAT THE FUCK HE LIKES YOU, YOU LIKE HIM, YOU JUST THINK SAYING YOU WILL WILL RUIN YOU REPUTATION AND FUCK IT ALL

and then you, YOU AND YOUR FUCKING 24/7 DANCES, MISS I’M SO INNOCENT AND I LOVE XOXO DANCING, WELL ONE, WE KNOW YOU’RE NOT AS INNOCENT AS YOU SAY YOUR ARE, I BET IN THAT CURLY HEAD OF YOURS YOU’RE HORNY AS FUCK, AND YOU AND JOSH, NOT GONNA LAST LONG, JUST SAYING, AND FUCK IT CAN ALL OF YOU JUST FUCKING STOP ACTING CAUSE IT’S SO STUPID AND WHAT’S THE FUCKING USE IF SOMEONE CAN SEE RIGHT THROUGH IT

AND YOU, YOU OF ALL PEOPLE, YOU’D BE THE LAST PERSON I’D EVER YELL AT, BUT DON’T HIDE IT, YOU LOVE ATTENTION, DON’T YOU? AND NOT ONLY THAT, YOU LOVE BEING PAIRED UP WITH BOYS. YOU THINK WE CAN’T HEAR THAT TINGE OF DESPERATION WHEN YOU TALK ABOUT ONE? HOW YOU WANT US TO SHIP YOU WITH SOMEONE WHO YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON, I DON’T KNOW, MAYBE TO MAKE YOU FEEL HAPPY AND FINISH OF THE FANTASY OF YOURS IN YOUR HEAD, AND YOU KNOW WHAT’S FUNNY, HOW TERRIBLE THINGS HAPPENED HIT YOU LIKE A FREIGHT TRAIN, THAT MUST’VE BEEN NICE, ALL THE ATTENTION, HUH? FIRST YOUR PARENTS, THEN YOUR SICKNESS, BUT WHAT PISSED ME OFF WAS YOUR GRANDMOTHER’S DEATH, HOW YOU CRIED FOR THOSE SHORT 5 MINUTES TO GET OUR ATTENTION, OH AND PS, SIR MARK NEVER REMEMBERED YOUR BIRTHDAY, HE SAW IT ON FACEBOOK, AND I REMINDED HIM ABOUT IT RIGHT BEFORE HE SAW YOU, SO YOU’RE FUCKING WELCOME, ALSO, YOU TWO, NEVER GONNA HAPPEN.

AND I BET YOU’RE ALL LIKE ‘HEY YOU HAVE NO FUCKING RIGHT TO SAY WHAT YOU JUST SAID’ BUT I DO

IT STARTED WITH MY GRANDMOTHER’S DEATH, YOU THINK WHEN I LOST HER I JUST LOST SOME KIND OF LONG LOST AUNT? NO, MY GRANDMOTHER RAISED ME, I LITERALLY SPENT MY CHILDHOOD WITH HER SINCE MY PARENTS COULDN’T RAISE ALL OF US, AND THEN SHE DIED AND I WAS SO DEVASTATED AND WHAT DO I GET? NOTHING, NOT EVEN A SINGLE HUG OR ‘I’M SORRY’ FROM ANY OF YOU, YOU GUYS OF ALL PEOPLE WOULD’VE NOTICED THAT. AND THEN YOUR GREAT-GRANDMOTHER DIED, AND WHAT DID YOU DO? DID YOU CRY FOR 6 STRAIGHT HOURS AND THINK ABOUT HER EVEN AFTER HOW MANY MONTHS AFTER HER DEATH AND STILL CRY ABOUT IT? NO. BUT HEY YOU GOT THE FUCKING SPECIAL TREATMENT WHEN YOU DIDN’T EVEN CARE ABOUT THE PERSON YOU LOST SAME GOES FOR YOUR GRANDPARENT WHO I DON’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT.

AND THEN YOU TALK ABOUT FAMILY ISSUES AND FOR THE PAST MONTH I’VE BEEN HAVING THOSE TOO. MY PARENTS ARE FIGHTING, MY SIBLINGS ARE FIGHTING, WE NEVER COMMUNICATE, IT’S A WRECK

AND JUST I’M DONE WITH THIS

I’M DONE WITH ALL OF YOU AND YOUR ‘MY LIFE SUCKS’ ATTITUDE

CAUSE YOU KNOW WHOSE LIFE SUCKS?

MINE.

AND THE WORST PART IS NONE OF YOU, THE ONES I CALL MY FRIENDS, WERE ABLE TO PICK UP ON THAT.

This blank blog, no one knows about it, no one knows it exists, no one but me. It's great.

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