A Comic Tragedy

My naked body has proven to be an excellent opposite sex repellent..

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it's just pretty damn sad to be followed on tumblr in a secret capacity. The person changed their tumblr account so that I couldn't follow, but somehow this person continues to follow me

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I imagine that since today is Mother's Day,

my children might just hate me less today than other days. 

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Oh yeah!

Mother's Day.

When I'm reminded every year that abortion was legal at the time. 

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i watched the whole thing, maybe I am high

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I watched the whole thing and I am most certainly NOT high.

brb. gonna watch again

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can you get high just from watching it? If so, I'm in

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Based on the way my family is currently acting,

you'd think there was some sort of holiday coming up.

Oh.

Yeah.

Nevermind.

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And here I thought the internet was made specifically for penis jokes.

Imagine my chagrin.

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this one's for you my dear. you know who you are.. 

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I was a horrible Mom. Mainly because I was afraid of the dark.  It's just impossible to be a good mom if you're afraid of the dark. My girls would yell "Mooooooooooooooooooooooooooom, there's a monster under my bed!". And I would yell back, "QUIET! He can hear you!"

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I truly think that gay marriage needs to be allowed anywhere,

cause I would *so* watch the shit out of Gay Divorce Court.

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May have another cookie please?

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It's almost clusterfuck holiday family time again.

I can't tell you how excited that I plan on not being. 

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So, yeah.

I got a call today from the daughters to come to daughter number one's house because they were all hanging there for the afternoon. 

I got up out of my sick bed, where I have lain, mostly unconscious for the last week, and drove the short drive to her house. 

After initial hellos and huggles and kissies from the grandbabies, two pregnancy tests were put in front of me and I was asked, "Do you know what these mean"? 

Now, remember, daughter number one is pregnant with grandchild number 7 and is due in December. So I picked them up and saw that both were positive. I looked over at my youngest daughter and said, "So? You're pregnant and just found out today"? When in chimes the middle daughter saying that she AND the youngest are pregnant and only one week apart from each other. 

I was all tears and hugs and congratulating the sons-in-law for their good work! 

I'm so excited! I had a dream when the girls were younger that one day I would find out that all three were pregnant at the same time and the dream has come true!

So, now that the excitement is over, I am back in bed, all curled up with a box of tissues, NyQuil, and the laptop, waiting for my seminar to start at 10:00. 

I just had to share that with you freaks. You're like my bestest friends!

mwah!

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Here's the link to the tweetup article

So, we were the top story in the Lifestyle section of the Frederick News-Post! Pictures and everything! How exciting for us!

http://www.fredericknewspost.com/sections/art_life/display_Comments.htm?section=lifestyle&storyID=142170#postComments

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So, yeah.

There was a tweetup in Frederick Maryland this weekend.

Heard it was a blast for everyone. 

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IT'S HERE!! IT'S FINALLY HERE!!

The Frederick Tweetup is finally here and I am SO excited about this! 

I'm about to take a shower and then head on over to daughter number three's house for professional hair and makeup done by her and daughter number two. They're going to try their hardest to make me look at least human, but I can't say they'll beautify me. 

I know you guys are so tired of hearing about this tweetup, so be glad. The obnoxious posts and funny pictures are on their way back to my tumblr. But, I AM going to post all the dirty pics from the tweetup. 

Thank you guys for sticking with me during this time. 

You guys are the greatest freaks in the world!

MWAH! 

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AMERICAN TOILETS BOW DOWN TO YOUR AUSTRALIAN MASTERS. 

FEEL FREE TO CRAP BASEBALLS.

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Evidently talking funny isn't the only thing they do in Australia 

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At the Frederick Tweetup on Saturday night, Ocotber 13th we’ll have a Night of Comedy at Hard Times.

This is our lineup.