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im obsessed, that's all
aaaaaaa TYSM!!!! i forgot how much i loved writing lmao, i feel like this blog is about to become my main obsession. mwah, sent u a kiss. hope u caught it <3
wowwwww 177 followers where did you guys all come from?? thank you all so much for the support so far i cannot WAIT to keep writing for you <3 MWAH
What would their dream girl be like?
OBSESSED with this concept. enjoy my love <3
asks: open
The Pastas Ideal Type of Girl
includes: Toby, Ben, Jeff, Tim, Brian, Jack ♡
♡ Toby ♡
Toby took his first steps on eggshells and learned how to flinch before he learned how to talk. His entire childhood was rooted in fear and anger, and as a consequence, he grew into a very hesitant, stumbly adult, craving real love above anything else. That’s why he needs a girl who’s going to take care of him- mother him, if you will. She needs to be patient and kind-hearted. She needs to have his best interests in mind, even when he’s screaming at things that may not be really there and throwing punches at drywall. She needs to be brave, to take him into her arms and hush him back to earth again.
His dream girl is someone with a heart of pure gold. Someone who loves animals, who doesn’t step on spiders and leaves food out for stray dogs. He loves a girl who smiles a lot and can see the good in even the darkest corner. Toby has a lot of love to give, and it’s important he finds someone who can give it back. He needs it, after everything he’s gone through.
In terms of looks, Toby doesn’t care. If you’re tall, short, fat, thin, whatever- he doesn’t have a checkbox for that. He does, however, like imperfections, because he's full of them. Crooked teeth, dark circles, acne- anything that doesn’t fit a societally perfect box, he finds charming.
♡ Ben ♡
Ben didn’t know what a real woman looked like until he met the other girls in the mansion, and even then, he had the audacity to be shocked when they didn’t flock to him like he was a local god. He spent the majority of his life playing video games and hanging out in the GTA strip club. If you asked him what he looked for in a girl, he’d probably laugh and make a joke about tits.
But really, deep down, Ben wants a girlfriend who can laugh with him. It’s great being the funny guy, but it’s wasted talent until he can find a girl to use it on. He needs a girl who matches his sense of humour and doesn’t treat him like he’s only there for entertainment. A girl who gets to know the real him, and sees that there’s much more to him than the performance.
Lookwise, Ben is a sucker for the typical gamer girl. Pastels, Hello Kitty merch, tennis skirts, and knee socks are a combination more lethal than dynamite to him. He’s not insecure over his height (who said that?), but he loves when a girl’s a little on the shorter side. Then again, he’s not picky. If you’re a woman and you breathe, you’re a perfect candidate for his future wife.
♡ Jeff ♡
Jeff’s dream girl needs to have years of experience in the type of field he’s in. He’s a nightmare to get to know, and a disaster at navigating love. It’s not his fault. His vulnerability burned with him that day. He views everything in life as temporary. Relationships are no different.
When you meet Jeff for the first time, he’s an asshole on instinct. His ideal girl would need to combat that. She’d need to have the thickest skin and a tongue sharp enough to match his. Falling in love with Jeff would be the slowest burning candle ever lit, pun unintended, so she'd have to have patience. However, she would also need to be caring, because he doesn’t care one bit for himself. Leave bandages out for him, for example, when he comes home late at night, and his skin is pouring with blood. Throw a granola bar at him when he leaves for the forest. Simple things that let him know you’re not going anywhere.
Jeff is a man, at the end of the day. He doesn’t do relationships; he hates hookup culture- but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have a type. He likes hot girls. Girls who look like they can hold their own in a fight. Long nails and hoop earrings, high heels and dark lipstick, tiny waists and huge assets. He’s picky.
♡ Tim ♡
Like Jeff, Tim refuses to have any romantic relationships. It’s too dangerous, too risky. It would distract him from his job and get him into more trouble than it’s worth. Saying that, he yearns for another life like a leper to the grave. To come home, not to damp walls and screaming, but to a woman- a good, real woman- waiting for him. To take him into her arms and ask about his day. It’s a stupid, pitiful fantasy that he barely even admits to himself, but he knows it’s all he really wants.
He’s a traditional man. He likes the idea of him earning enough for both of you, of him taking good care of you and keeping you safe from all the evils out there. In the same breath, though, he knows he needs someone strong, not innocent. He knows he’s followed by too many ghosts to think any house of his wouldn’t end up haunted. His dream girl would need to see past that. Hold him when he’s lost hours of sleep or had a little too much to drink, and tell him it was all alright now, because she was right there with him.
He loves a girl who takes care of herself. Clean nails, hair taken care of, nice fashion sense. A girl who takes pride in her appearance and loves to cook and bake for him. Likes himself a shorter girl too. Half of it’s personal preference, the other half’s a control thing. No one ever called him a saint.
♡ Brian ♡
Unlike Tim, Brian might just allow himself the honor of loving someone else, but she has to find him only through the hands of fate. He’s much too wise to go searching for a girl all on his own- not with the type of life he lives. Brian’s dream girl is someone sweet and soft-spoken, untainted by any of the horrors he’s grown intertwined with. A girl who hides in his shoulder during a horror movie, and rarely swears, even when she’s startled. He has enough darkness in every other aspect of life; forgive him for wanting sunshine in this one.
She would be a sweetheart, beloved by anyone she crossed paths with. She would smile at strangers and spend her weekends like a real person- shopping or painting or hanging out with her friends. She would see him coming and wrap her arms around his neck, looking up at him with eyes that shone like every star in the sky. She’d ask about his day and laugh at his quick wit. She’d make him tea and rub knots out of his shoulders when he tensed too much. She would be patient and observant and remind him that despite it all, he’s still human.
Personality outweighs looks for him, but he loves a girl who looks like a doll. Petite girls with soft hair and long eyelashes and pouty lips. Girls who wear pastel pink sweaters in the winter and white dresses in the summer. Girls who look like they listen to Lana del Rey and wear floral perfume- he loves a girly girl.
♡ Jack ♡
Jack’s the outlier, here and in every room he enters. He doesn’t crave human connection the same way the others do. He craves it like a sinner craves the Eucharist, like a hunter craves the deer. It’s not his fault; he was made this way. The least he can do is ask to be loved.
His ideal girl would need to be intelligent. Jack’s mind is sharper than his scalpels, and living with the other pastas doesn’t exactly stimulate that. He needs someone to speak to without straining to be understood. And in the same breath, he struggles with humanity and our ways of living. He doesn’t understand why we cry over movies and dance to music. He doesn’t understand why we hold hands or say goodnight before sleeping. He needs a girl who’s going to walk him through those things. Again, he needs someone to speak to without straining to be understood.
Looks mean nothing to Jack. It’s all about the scent. Women smell, by natural rule, much sweeter than men do. On the right day, it could drive him crazy. His dream girl is someone who smells, above all else, clean. Someone who showers and moisturises and takes pride in her hygiene, but not so much it sickens him. Looks are just semantics.
How the pastas stalk you
includes: Toby, Ben, Jeff, Tim, Brian, Jack ♡
♡ Toby ♡
Swears it’s all out of love. He wants to keep you as safe as possible, round the clock. He isn’t supposed to know your address, your place of work, your car registration number- he just does. He becomes addicted to new shreds of information on you, like you’re his favourite show and each new piece is a brand new episode he cant look away from.
He’ll climb up trees to stare in your bedroom window, watching you sleep for hours and imagining all the ways he could get away with crawling through your window and lying like a dog at the foot of your bed.
If he’s taking time to memorise your routines, he means no harm, really. He’s fallen for you, and he was never taught how to act normal in a situation like that.
♡ Ben ♡
Absolutely shameless about stalking you, to the point it borders on disgusting. Has cameras on your house, in your bedroom, in your car, in your workplace, anywhere you might just walk into. There’s a tab open on his computer that he can flick to and just watch you go about your day. He’ll sit while he’s waiting on a game to load, mindlessly watching you cook dinner for yourself.
He’s completely perverted about it too. Will angle cameras so he can stare down your shirt and watch while you get dressed. Gets off on the fact that you have no idea it’s happening.
Contacts you on occasion. He’ll text you from an unknown number just for kicks as he watches you confused, trying to decipher where it’s come from. He’s a technological mastermind, and in terms nof stalking, his game is miles above the others.
♡ Jeff ♡
He is not a stalker. Lets be real. If he falls in love with you, its gonna be an absolute slow burn. He thinks he’s too good to waste time following around someone else.
Saying that, he coincidentally appears in your area more times than he needs to be. He’ll brush it off, knowing no one has the guts to ask him why exactly, he’s been spotted near the same house six times in one week. He lies to himself, more than anything.
If he’s feeling really agitated about your whereabouts, he might tell Ben to work some of his magic and show him where you are. By this point, he’s obsessed with you to the point that even a ten second headstart won’t do a thing to save you.
♡ Tim ♡
He completely deludes himself into thinking this is for the greater good. Even if you have nothing to do with the Operator, he tricks his mind into thinking that if he leaves you unattended for more than a few days, you’ll get tracked down and targeted by him.
He blends in well with his surroundings. If you’re a regular at a certain coffee shop, he’ll coincidentally be sitting at the window table everytime you walk in. He’s the stranger sitting across from you on the bus, and the guy in the store standing next to you, idly browsing the drinks section.
Sometimes you wake up in the middle of the night for water, and you swear you see a shadow standing in your backyard. It’s fleeting though- disappears when you rub your eyes. He never makes his presence known to you.
♡ Brian ♡
He’s a lot more cryptic about it than you think he’d be. Sure, his main priorities are remaining anonymous, but that doesn’t mean he can’t treat you every now and then.
He has all your routes mapped out, and uses this knowledge for benevolence more than anything. On icy mornings, expect to find the path you take to work has been completely cleared. On sunny mornings, expect to open your front door to see a fresh bottle of lemonade- a gift from a neighbour- waiting for you.
He never means to hurt you. He just thinks you’re precious, living in the world as innocent and naive as you do. He likes it when you look relieved at a gesture he’s sent your way. He hates that he’s such a lover, but it’s carved into his bones.
♡ Jack ♡
Probably the best, and most terrifying stalker to have. He’s extremely tactical, being an expert at breaking and entering, and lacks humanity more than any of the others, which is terrifying if you ever wake up at the wrong time.
He invites himself into your house to watch you sleep. He feeds on your energy. He’s starving for you, how can you blame him? Even being around you, watching your chest rise and fall is the sweetest of tortures and the foot of his addiction.
He picks locks and covers his tracks before sunrise. He’ll sit at the edge of your bed, only moving in the night, and gently brush his fingertips against your bare skin while you sleep. Each night, he gets closer and closer to acting on his impulses, but your beauty is a reckoning. It’s the one thing that makes him hesitate.
How you haunt the pastas
(a part 2 to my hcs about how they murder you- inspired by shyawaysweetheart’s comment <3)
Includes: Toby, Ben, Jeff, Tim, Brian, Jack ♡
♡ Toby ♡
He's grown accustomed to ghosts taunting him in the face of every wall he punches a fist into. You terrorize him like the others- his mother, his sister- joining a trifecta that undoes that of the father, son, and holy spirit.
He sees you in his sleep, looking as torn up and bloody as the day he left you, and wakes up screaming, shaking in a way that only you could ever fix. He vows to tear himself and the world around him apart for failing you. He busts up his knuckles, sets fire to trees, and ruins anything else that ever reminded him of your beauty. He is, after all, the one who deserves it.
♡ Ben ♡
Chances are, if Ben fell for you, only to watch you suffer until your final breath, you return as a vengeful spirit. You're a leaking faucet, forcing him to confront his fears. You're the sparks flying from busted wires, ruining any chance he gets of enjoying a night in front of his PC.
But he tortures himself in your name, too. You're the whisper in his ears each time he doesn't feel good enough to stand next to the others. You're the ice-cold water he splashes on his face every morning when he can't seem to forget the way your eyes shone. You're the gasping breaths in every nightmare he has about being pulled beneath crashing waves by a siren that looks exactly like you. You are guilt personified, eating him alive inside and out.
♡ Jeff ♡
You’re the final nail in his coffin of apathy. You haunt him in a way that even the others notice, like a demon possessing him to re-carve the smile into his skin, like a hypnotist making him stare into an open flame as though compensating for the pain he put you through. He deludes himself into thinking this makes you equal. He knows deep down that it never will be.
He stops killing for a while too. Hates the way girls scream almost as brutallly as you did that night. Hates the way guys fight back the way you never did. All of his energy drains on days laying in bed, smoking away the memory of you, tears clouding his vision when he realises he can’t.
♡ Tim ♡
You haunt him like every cliché he once rolled his eyes at. Your spirit creaks in the floorboards at night. It pushes windows open and sends the sound of your laughter ringing through his ears whenever he claims he hasn’t thought about you in days. He smells your perfume in every room, swears that hair tie wasn’t in his truck last night- but he knows if he tells anyone he’ll just be met with sad eyes and sympathy smiles.
It drives him crazy though. You drive him crazy, just like you did when you were alive. He paces his room, straining to find any semblance of you in the air. On missions, his efficiency weakens, and he finds himself in trouble with the Operator more than ever. You tear down his pride and leave him as a shell of a man, and he can do nothing but let it happen.
♡ Brian ♡
You haunt him like a lover haunts a hospital. You’re everywhere- in his clothes, in his mannerisms, in his routine, and he loves you too much to scrub you away. He knows he had to kill you, but that doesn’t mean he’s willing to give you up. He thinks of you every time he sees or hears something lovely: birds singing in the morning, church bells, freshly cut ribbon or white teeth smiles.
You are eternal and beautiful in his mind, and he will think of you as he rots, day in, day out, doing nothing to cease the pain and move on. That is how you haunt him, and the thing that makes Brian different is that he likes to be haunted by you. He likes that you follow him around wherever he goes, and likes how you probably always will.
♡ Jack ♡
Jack’s a weird one. You don’t haunt him in the natural way. He doesn’t spring awake at night, shaking and screaming like Toby, nor does he drown himself in guilt like Ben. No, you come to him in much more meticulous ways. After he killed you and mauled your flesh like it was his final meal on death row, he loses whatever was left of his humanity in a search to find something that tastes just as good as you.
It’s a frenzy- a supercut from a horror movie each time he leaves the mansion. Bodies pile up as he shreds through them, his hunger growing each time he discards them as disgusting. Anything but you is. He wastes his life a slave to his own hunger, losing his mind more and more with every failed attempt to satisfy it.
how the pastas would murder you
includes: Toby, Ben, Jeff, Tim, Brian and Jack ♡
♡ Toby ♡
Toby was already dumb enough to let himself believe in the illusion of you, but he was twice as stupid to try to save you from your fate. If the Operator ordered him to kill you, he would completely lose his sense of self. His need for praise from his peers, his need to prove himself to the boss- all of it would tear into shreds just for the chance of keeping you alive.
He would beg and sob in front of them- Tim, Brian, the Operator himself- to understand that he needed you alive, why he needed you alive. He would lay all his cards face up on the table, forgetting he was playing against the dirtiest cheaters in the ring.
They would, of course, use this weakness- you- against him, opting to torture you, make your death as drawn out and painful as possible, turn you into a shell of who you once were.
And he loves you too much to let that happen.
The only way he would kill you himself is if it were a kinder fate than any of the others. And he's so stupid in love that he suggests a joint suicide. But when you say no, he loses it completely. His moods flip like a switch, and when you can't understand that he's killing you out of kindness, it turns into a cat-and-mouse hatchet chase that begins and ends with him telling you he loves you, covered head to toe in your blood.
♡ Ben ♡
Like Toby, Ben will cross a hundred bridges before he kills you himself. He's actually smart enough to keep you a secret, and if it got out and you became a target, he would bend over backwards in ways unbeknownst to anyone just to save you. Think fake IDs, illegal passports, anything to get you far away from him and the others to live a life of peace.
If that didn't work, he would point-blank refuse to kill you. The Operator could torture him all he wanted. You were innocent and human and proof of a better life out there. He wasn't having a hand in how your blood splattered on walls and guts plastered the floorboards.
But the fate you're met with is worse than any painful blow or electric current he could send your way. The others make you a toy so they can watch Ben unravel. And he's too selfish to put a stop to it, because that would mean he'd have to be without you, and nothing was more brutal than that.
♡ Jeff ♡
If Jeff actually manages to fall for you, he knows it's going to be temporary. He has the spot where he'll hide your body already mapped and cleared out, lest things go sideways. He knows he can't be trusted to let your guard down in front of, and he thinks you're pretty stupid for not knowing that.
When he's told he has to kill you, he flinches for a millisecond only.
There's a part of him that's clinging on for dear life, crying inside of his ribcage, but he knows exactly how to tune it out. He's clean with your kill. Makes sure not to wake you up right away. And when you eventually do, he knocks you out. The whole job's done in thirty seconds.
For the next few days, he's more sour than usual, but by the following week, he seems back to normal. Like I said, he knew this shit would happen. He just doesn't know why he let it get that far.
♡ Tim ♡
He acts like he doesn't care. He acts like you're just another name on the list of things he has to do before nightfall. But if you look closer at the bags beneath his eyes and trembling hands, fumbling for the lighter in his pocket, you can tell it's eating him alive.
There is a small part of him that enjoys this- seeing how bad his life can get by product of his own hand. There's a small part of him that revels in his insecurity, reminding him that he never deserved something like you in the first place. It comes out when he holds a gloved hand over your mouth, telling you, "You know I gotta do this, sweetheart," as he muffles your screams.
He hates every second of it and takes it out on his colleagues the second he gets back to the mansion. Days go by like nails on a chalkboard, but it never gets easier.
♡ Brian ♡
Every step to your front door physically pains him, like a thousand knives in his ribcage begging to escape. You were lovely, you were gentle, you were the only thing in this life that wasn't tainted by despair or disease. You, and your lace, and your curls, and your endless time for his wounds. You and your pitiful mortality.
He makes it as swift as possible. Cooks your favourite meal and laces it with poison. It's a dirty trick, but it's much easier than blowing your brains out and dealing with the aftermath. He sits by your side the entire time as you choke and gasp for air, stroking your hair and telling you it'll be over soon.
He cries before he goes home again. Despite it all, he's human too. If you're religious, he'll pray to your god for forgiveness. He never falls in love again, though. You taught him that much.
♡ Jack ♡
He thinks you make a beautiful corpse.
He forgets how to grieve like a human, but can't ignore the clenching in his chest when he remembers you won't be there in the morning, greeting him like you always do. Falling in love was a fool's game. He should've known better than to play it.
He has the grace to put you to sleep before killing you. His medical equipment gives him the ability to do so, allowing you to die quick and painlessly, and him to watch you, arms crossed, head tilted, for as long as possible afterwards.
And like the demon that he became, he can't stop himself from sinking his teeth into your flesh soon after you're gone. He thinks it's romantic, and no one cares enough to tell him it's grotesque.
Pastas as Greek Gods
Jeff- ares, god of war
Ben- hermes, god of trade
Jack- athena, goddess of wisdom
Toby- hephaesteus, god of fire
Helen- apollo, god of art and poetry
Liu- nemesis, goddess of revenge
Jane- hera, queen of Olympus
Clockwork- artemis, goddess of the hunt
Nina- hestia, goddess of hearth
Sally- Hebe, goddess of youth
Kagekao- dionysus, god of wine
Zalgo- Hades, god of the underworld
eyeless jack is so hozier coded idc im so horny for him
advice for you based on your favourite pasta
Jeff- Are you excited about the When We Were Young festival? I hope Dan and Phil come out with the gay flag and kiss just for you <3. How are your anger issues? Playing your music at volume 100 isn’t a substitute for therapy. Please go hug someone babe, having Jeff as your favorite in 2023 means you definitely need it.
Ben- I just know you’re funny, like your friends fucking love you. Either play video games or have a creative hobby. Ben stans are literally the best. Probably have awesome taste in music. My advice for you? It’s okay if you aren’t the happy one all the time, you aren’t a robot babe <3
Jack- I get academic overachiever vibes from you, like, you’re smart, and you know you’re smart. You probably read and have a letterboxd account. You’re effortlessly cool, and probably hot, but it’s okay to fail sometimes, you don’t have to be perfect <3
Toby- Hello mentally ill gay people no im jk all of you are mentally ill and gay its the creepypasta fandom lolz. You probably feel like you’re really annoying and cope via having Toby as your comfort character. Either you’ve been in therapy since you were twelve or you need to go. Try and prioritise yourself babe <3
Helen- ITS OKAY TO DO THINGS ALONE!!!!! You probably feel insecure about your lack of friends, or you feel like your social life sucks. Doing things alone is okay, it doesn’t make you a loser. You probably like art, and you’re probably fucking great at it. Don’t compare yourself to anyone babe <3
Liu- Do you have family trauma and/or feel like you’re gonna be alone for the rest of your life? Yeah checks out. Spend more time with people, I promise they aren't all bad. Go pet a dog, stand in the sunshine. Life is great sometimes <3
Jane- psst… it's okay to let your guard down. Idk if you knew that, but here I am telling you anyway. You’re a bad bitch, I know. You’re hot, I know. But not everyone wants to hurt you. Also, stop trying to take care of everyone around you <3
Nina- you probably got/get bullied for being different. I think its hot that you’re different. Sure, you belong in a 2007 scene meet-up and i’m sorry you aren’t there rn, but you have SO MANY secret admirers. Keep being you babe, don’t change for anyone <3
Clockwork- okay i’m just gonna say it. Sometimes being mean to people and pushing them away is a bad coping mechanism. I am saying this because I have the same coping mechanisms. We are the same. Please for the love of god stop clenching your jaw and let your guard down!!! <3
Sally- Either you’re one of the younger fans or you have serious trauma. You can’t go to places or listen to certain songs without wanting to throw up. Your hands are burning from holding onto your inner child so tightly. Hang in there, it’s gonna get better <3
Pastas as niche random objects
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Ben- an old playstation controller. Two of the buttons don’t work and there’s a weird stain on it.
Jeff- a rusted kitchen knife. No one knows why it’s still in the drawer.
Eyeless Jack- a dusty history book that you find at the back of an abandoned library.
Toby- A kitchen table covered in crayon marks and wood chips, initials carved into it.
Helen- a paint palette, covered in reds and blues and yellows, all dried up with time.
Liu- your favourite winter scarf, handknit by a loved one.
Jane- a lipstick stained wine glass, polished up to perfection.
Nina- a friendship bracelet, made from rainbow coloured beads.
Clockwork- a fur-lined coat worn all year round. Your comfort item
the pastas if they had a normal life
BEN- Gamer boy who lives in his parent's basement. You saw it coming. Ben would literally spend his days living off energy drinks and chips. Brags about his game collection even though he doesn’t have a job. He doesn’t care that he doesn’t have a job, but he should.
Jeff- He never moved on from the emo renaissance. He has posters of MCR and other emo bands up on his walls. They’re chipped and wilted, but he’ll be dead before they get taken down. Definitely uses a pair of broken wired earphones because he thinks he’s too cool for AirPods.
Eyeless Jack-Jack would be the most pretentious male manipulator sorry. Donna Tartt would have a field day with him. He exclusively only listens to music from the 80s and mansplains everything. He is intelligent though, and he dresses immaculately.
Toby- That friend who has never been calm in their life. One second he’s at home, then the next he’s in Portugal on a solo holiday. Should not be allowed a bank account. Always the life of the party. People wonder how he’s still alive.
Helen- Weird art kid. Spends all of his time in his room, either playing piano or painting. He thinks he’s destined to be the next Picasso. Has good grades and big dreams, but no friends to tell them to.
Liu- Probably the most normal. Good grades, decent social life. He’s not popular, but he’s not a loner. Kind of mainstream. Always drinking coffee, probably works like two jobs. Has connections everywhere.
Jane- She walks down the street and like 90% of heads turn to look at her. Quiet, but not shy. Has a small group of friends, but feels like none of them know her. Probably has a glass of red wine every Saturday night. Has a cat.
Nina- The town's bravest girl solely because she’s single-handedly bringing back scene-core. Doesn’t care that people give her weird looks on public transport. Makes kandi bracelets and gives them out to strangers. Literally SO sweet and for what.
Clockwork- No one wants to get on her bad side. She has like two friends but she loves them with all her heart. Doesn’t give a fuck about grades. She probably works out a lot but never drinks water. Lives alone.