so i know i’ve been so inactive here and i want to just word vomit for a little about my thoughts and feelings and whatnot
so i’ve been watching the show since the beginning, and writing clarke on and off for a few years, and over all these years i really connected with her, i was comfortable with her from the get go in a way that doesn’t always feel natural, but not only did i connect with her for writing purposes, but personally, she was a character i didn’t even realize how important she was to me for awhile, she was a character i not only related to, but one that helped me accept myself, that made me feel like it was okay to just be me
this entire season has felt different, i just kept watching her become less and less like the girl i knew, the girl i grew up with, the girl that was important to me, i’ve felt that the writing was prioritizing plots and quite frankly views for a few years now, but this felt different, this just felt like they were using her, like she’s just a means to an end now
it just feels like they gave up on her, and because of that it’s been hard to find her voice, which is why i mainly stuck to modern here, it was easier and modern clarke feels like mine, she’s the one i put years of thoughts and headcanon into, the one that couldn’t be impacted by views or shock value, she just was who she was, and i still love her
i’ve always been someone who liked being canon compliant though, not just in this fandom but all of them, and i hate that i lost so much of her that doing so just feels off to me, but i really can’t relate to anything this season, the writing has just given me a completely different atmosphere than the show i fell in love with initially, the one where there was still hope, the one that had a purpose, and with a single episode left, it feels pretty clear i’m not going to get that back
this isn’t like a goodbye, i don’t think, but more of a simple i don’t know, i’ve loved clarke for years and it feels like such a waste to let the writing take that away from me, and maybe i’ll be more at ease once it’s all over and i’m not being dragged in different directions, i truly hope so, but i just needed to let that out i guess, a form of closure maybe, i still do want to be here, but i guess i never really got to speak about this, about how much she means to me and what this season has been making me feel
anyway, i appreciate all of you and i hope you’re well, stay safe, stay kind, stay you <3
















