Thinking of Home || Cecilia & Andrew
âYou do not do yourself enough credit, and give me far too much,â she frowned. She enjoyed making him laugh. He could be so serious at times, but she thought he was giving her far too much credit. âIf it were not for you and your help, I would be lost here.â Of course, if it werenât for him, she might also still be back in Korea, and she didnât quite know what to make of that. Being so far was hard, but she wasnât so sure if sheâd want to stay there. Things were freer here, and she knew there were rebellions building in her home country. That was a large part of why sheâd been sent away.
âAnd what is it I should be selfish about?â The idea in itself was an odd one to her. Much of her life had been spent trying to please others or be as little trouble as possible to others. She wasnât even sure she knew what she wanted, and how could she be selfish if she didnât even know that simply thing? âI do not think there is much I want for,â she said truthfully as she moved out of the room and turned to wait for it as he closed the door.
âI will be happy to have whatever it is you are eating.â Even given the conversation about it being okay for her to be selfish, she didnât want to make anyone go out of their way for her, and she certainly didnât want to bother the cook after missing a meal without warning. âAndrewâŠ?â She asked tentatively after a while of walking in silence. âMay I ask you something? âŠIf you should be called back to dutyâŠwhat becomes of me?â Or worse, if he should fall in battle, what would happen to her? These were thoughts that had been plaguing her as well recently.
âWell, letâs hope I am enough of a Shepard to keep you from getting lost in the futureâ He chuckled. He didnât feel like he was all that necessary when it came to guiding Cecilia through her life in Herrington. Then again, it always helped to have some form of bedrock or anchor that was familiar to oneself to prevent one from being swept away with the tide of life.
He frowned slightly as he thought about what he had meant by being selfish.  âI didnât mean being literally selfish, or at least not in terms of not sharing something. I mean looking out oneself on occasion, itâs impossible to or at least not something I would recommend being totally selfless. In the end, you need to care for yourself from time to time. Am I making sense?â he asked âPerhaps it is a bit late for such conversationsâ he admitted, somewhat to himself.
Andrew stopped just short of the kitchen door, unsure of how to respond. He had indeed been thinking upon the subject. For the most part, he longed to be called out upon some mission, to be under the sails for a while. The temptation was there, it would be a release and escape from the world, if only for a short while. However, Cecilia had hit upon the crux of his own doubt. The Navy had been his life, his existence had been wholly given over to his Kingâs service, and he had imagined that would be how he met his end, dieing with sabre and pistol in hand, valiantly defending his country with fire in his heart. Now though, now there was this kernel of hesitation in his heart, for good or evil, Cecilia had inadvertently steered his course and began him in an altogether unknown direction. For the first time, in a very long time, he wasnât in so much of a hurry to reach his end, to be reunited with his wife and child in whatever afterlife awaited him. Now there was a reason to stay, a reason to carry on and fight for just that little bit longer. He didnât really know how to articulate his thoughts to Cecilia, so he remained silent for the moment and opened the door, a slight shake to his head. He made his food in silence, still unable to really answer the young girlâs question. Eventually, he turned and spoke once more.
âI do not know..... I cannot say if I am needed or if I shall ever be called upon to serve again. I do know that you will always have a place here in Herrington, in this house. If I should depart...if I should not return, then I will have provisions made for you. The staff would care for you, as they do now, until you ask them not toâ He paused âI do not know what more I can say, such an event may never come to passâ














