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Escaping
So it's more or less the end of the week now, and time to update people on what's been going on.
The tl:dr; version: Because of the large number of people who rolled up to buy ebooks from the Ebooks Direct store (see the earlier message here), and the very many generous folks who dropped cash into my Ko-Fi (and please bear with me while I get all the thank-you messages sent!), "Project: Escape" is a go.
And thank you all again! You folks are all, absolutely, stars. 🥲
So this is how things will now unfold (and I designed this getaway to be as stress-free as possible, so it mostly runs along lines, and routes, that I've often traveled before). Here, pretty much, as where I'll be.
On Wednesday May 6th I fly from Dublin into Zürich and catch a train into the western Austrian lakeside city of Bregenz. I'll be there for a few days, chilling as much as possible. (Though work will also be happening... as work always seems to wind up happening when I'm over there. It's a good town for that.) ...The image at the top of the post is a summertime shot of the lakeshore, not far from the Bregenzer Festspiele* and the town's Casino.
Bregenz is familiar territory, where I've spent a good bit of time both on my own (on writing trips) and with @petermorwood. We often stayed here overnight on our way in to Munich to see the folks at the production company for whom we wrote Dark Kingdom: The Dragon King / Sword of Xanten / Die Nibelungen / whatever other name you know it by. It's a small, pleasantly walkable city with an artistic bent. Yet you can also sit lunching at a cafe's outdoor table, feel a shadow pass over you, and look up to see a passing golden eagle from the nearby mountains sailing by low and idly scoping out you and your entree...
After a few days in Bregenz, I'll take a ferry up to Konstanz, a town I've been past before but where I've never stayed. There I'll sit still for a few more days (ideally taking some time to see the archaeological museum there). After that I'll take a train back down to Züri, crash there for one last night, and then fly back to Dublin earlyish the next morning.
And after that: Back to business as usual... in, I very much hope, a somewhat improved state of mind. I mean: no way I'm going to stop missing Peter any time soon. That, I'm pretty sure, is now a permanent feature of my basic state of being. But having spent a little while in a place where it'll be impossible not to think about all the good times we had together in that neck of the woods, I think that'll make a big difference to me, especially at this difficult time.
Naturally I'll be posting here from there, every now and then, as things come up to be shared. It's a nice town: scenic. (And besides that, sometimes you see unusual things in the shop windows. (Like this...)
...Meanwhile, for the time being I'll leave the original "Seeking escape" post up, in case anyone still wants details about the ebook bundles on offer. (The prices really are low, and I feel no great urge to raise them right now... because honestly, if there was ever a time people might want cheapish distraction from the junk going on in the world, this might be it.) ...And if anyone wants to drop something into the Ko-Fi toward a glass of wine or a chocolate-heavy dessert, well, don't let me stop you. 😅
Once again, everybody: thank you so much for your kindness. It's so much appreciated. ❤️
And now it's time for starting the pre-packing laundry...
*This, BTW, is the facility where the James-Bond-Shoots-Up-The-Opera-Performance sequence was shot for Quantum of Solace.
Seeking escape
Those of you who notice such things will know that in a little less than two weeks, it's going to be a year since @petermorwood departed this plane of existence.
As the date's been getting closer, I'm becoming increasingly clear (due to mood swings and sleep disturbances and other such stuff) that it would be a really good thing for me if I don't have to live through this first anniversary of his loss anywhere near the house where he breathed his last.
For that day, and ideally a couple/few days on either side of it, I really need to get away from here.
So that's my plan, if I can get all this to come together (with everybody's help). ...It's not like any brief escape will get the pain to stop, you know? That's years away... if ever. But at least this move will prevent a short-term crisis, and allow me (after the really painful day has passed) to start getting back to what around here now passes for "standard operating procedure"—meaning writing, and doing other work, and getting on with the rest of the current form of life—as quickly as possible.
What I have in mind is to spend the days on either side of May 9th—and the day itself—as far away from the cottage as physical issues will allow me to travel. Let's think of it as a long weekend, an hour or two's flight away. To manage that, though, I need to boost sales at the Ebooks Direct store over the days to come. If the necessary funds manifest themselves over the course of this week, I'll have time to make the necessary arrangements.
So can I get those of you who see this post to reblog it, and bring the Ebooks Direct store to people's notice as widely as possible? ...As numerous ebook bundles are available at discount prices. (There are more than show in the slide below: that's just a snapshot of how the front-page carousel looks.)
...And if none of these appeal (or if you've got them already and want to give them to somebody else): hey, there are gift cards! (I finally managed to get these things organized correctly...) 😅 They come in per-bundle versions, or in a number of cash values to suit your preference.
Finally: if you've already got too many ebooks, or otherwise just prefer to drop a little something into the kitty to help me escape for a few-ish days, here's my Ko-Fi.
Support Diane Duane
...So let's see if this can be pulled off. And for all your past help, and assistance to come: thanks, friends. I appreciate you so much... as your voices, heard daily, are pretty much all that makes the local silence bearable.
Thanks again.
As a kid I loved your YW books, and, having rediscovered them as an adult, I still love them. One thing I've been wondering is if the oath would allow transgender wizards. Personally, I think it would, because it's changing an organism (yourself) in a way that (hopefully) does more good than harm. I just wanted to know if that sort of thing is canon, because having gay and ace wizards made me so happy, especially Nita getting a bit flustered about her assumptions. Thank you for all the books!
Well, since today is the 2018 International Day of Transgender Visibility, it’s certainly a good day to get explicit about this. :)
I touched briefly on the subject in a post some years back, but briefly the answer to “would the Oath allow transgender wizards” is: yes, of course! The pertinent bit:
…As far as whatever changes a wizard wants to make to their own physicality, the Powers are just fine with that too. They do however expect the responsible practitioner (as a matter of course) to do the necessary research to find out if the changes are necessary, workable, useful, or wise. (The Troptic Stipulation is rightly negative about unnecessary change to a system. There is some wiggle room in the evaluation of necessity, of course: see Tom’s discussion of the Stipulation in practice rather than theory.) How you enact the changes are your business. And if you somehow damage yourself or screw up something vital while working on yourself? That’s your business too. Repairs will be your responsibility. But ideally you will be expected not to do things that will adversely affect your effective performance as a wizard. That’s what you were given the power for, after all. [italics added after the fact]
Discover that you’ve got a potentially terminal disease? By all means, cure it! — assuming there are no complicating circumstances. Nearsighted/farsighted? Talk your eyeballs into a different shape. Broke your leg and don’t care to spend six to eight weeks in a cast? Have a word with the bone in question; just make sure you can explain your sudden recovery away if you need to. Want to adjust your body chemistry and physical structure to better reflect your gender of preferred identification? Your business — again, keeping in mind what effects this may have on those around you who matter to you, and how this will impact your practice.
…Additionally: someone asked me re: representation, whether there was likely to be a trans character in YW canon at some point. The answer at this point is that yeah, it’s likely. Though not immediately. First of all, I have only scorn for the box-checking, let’s-see-how-relevant-we-can-be thing (and suggestions/assumptions by some parties that that’s what I’ve been up to, especially in the wake of Games Wizards Play, are among the very, very few things that make me cranky enough to walk around the house kicking stuff). …But also, I am still in the process of listening to and learning from people who know far more about the subject than I do. …Anyway, the longer response about that (with some discussion about how characters in my work do “get diverse”) is here.
Nothing much more for me to add except to say, to everybody who reads my stuff and for whom transition (or the prospect of it) is an ongoing issue: …I see you.
And still do. ❤️
...Need something to read between sporting events? (Or just to distract you from them... or to get your mind off too much local snow?)
Just a quick reminder that the ebook series and themed bundles at the Ebooks Direct store are still holding at their Black Friday prices... because the management is soon going to have to shell out for a too-expensive hearing aid, and also get new (also too-expensive) glasses.
Assuming you're not based in the UK (where we can't sell any more because of Brexit), why not stop in and see if one of these bundles suits your TBR-pile needs!
The Pride Bundle:
This package contains all our Middle Kingdoms material—some of the first LGBTQ-representing epic fantasy in the 20th-century fantasy field,
The Young Wizards "All The Wizardry" Bundle:
This bundle contains all the Young Wizards material in the Ebooks Direct inventory. That's nineteen ebooks, containing: The nine New Mille
The Feline Wizardry bundle:
This bundle contains the three novels of Diane Duane's Feline Wizards trilogy—The Book of Night with Moon, To Visit the Queen, and The Big M
The Middle Kingdoms bundle:
This bundle contains all the Middle Kingdoms material in the Ebooks Direct inventory. That's ten ebooks, including: The three main-sequenc
And of course, if you're a glutton for punishment, the Whole Store Bundle, with our deepest discounts anywhere in the store.
This ebook bundle (not available in the UK: details below) contains our complete inventory of non-new-release* works. All our ebooks are DRM
All of these bundles come with our lifetime free replacement guarantee that covers you in case you have a disk crash or lose your device. And if you need to change reader formats, we'll do that for you for free too.
So feel free to come take advantage of us!
...And if you feel like you've got too many ebooks but want to help with the medical expenses in a different way? Please (and thank you!) feel free to drop something in the Ko-Fi.
Bumping this, as it'd be nice to get some heating oil in before some kind of, uh, unpleasantness breaks out and drives local oil prices through the roof again.
Feel like sharing this post around? Please & thank you! :)
I'll Be Home For Christmas (unless there's a miracle...)
Someone sent me a very kind message that I want to share (while obscuring their identity).
I just wanted to say you're in my thoughts this holiday season. I know how hard the first of any recurring celebrations can be after the loss of a loved one. You don't know me and we'll probably never meet, but I hope you find some comfort in the loving wishes of friends, fans and tumblr passersby. The one human constant is grief and it is love with no vessel to receive it. I hope you have time to mourn, time to love and time to laugh this holiday season and every day going forward.
Umf. This is so thoughtful of you: thanks so very much.
And it's gonna be a challenge.
Today, as of 7:50 AM local time, it will have been exactly seven months since @petermorwood unexpectedly stopped breathing and moved on to Whatever's Next.
Folks who follow me here will have seen that I've been keeping as busy as feasible and/or possible for me, under the circumstances. A certain amount of travel, much of it work-related: some catching up and getting-grounded with friends in the fannish world who knew and liked Peter. And then, as the year progressed, an attempt to get back to something that feels like "normal" work when the long-time mainstay of all the normalcy in my life is suddenly no longer on the scene.
It's been tough.
Now, admittedly, I'm fairly tough too (which after my life so far is, I guess, to be expected). But right now things are turning out to be unexpectedly difficult...
...especially because I'm in Ireland. And Christmas is coming.
(And here you must imagine the transfixed Wile E. Coyote staring down the tunnel at the light of an oncoming train that abruptly turns out to be [ulp!] real.)
If you haven't ever been on this island at this season, the absolutely godawful quality of this situation is difficult to explain or express. In mass media, in public expectation of What You Ought To Be Wanting, and in life just generally... you will rarely have ever seen a place, or a national gestalt or mindspace, in which the expectation that You Ought To Be With Your Loved Ones And Happy At This Festive Season is so fucking inescapable.
...Peter hated it. After his Mum moved on from mortality in the late 2000s, and family Christmases stopped—because she was the glue that had held those together—the incessant Be With Your Loved Ones stuff really started getting under his skin. (As did the inescapability of the underlying religious context, for both of us whose spiritualities are—let's just say—"differently constructed".*) "You know what? Let's get the hell out of Dodge," Himself said to me at the beginning of December one year, "because if we don't, we'll be stuck here, and this is driving me up the wall."
And so we did. We escaped from Ireland on the 22nd of that December and spent the next seven days split between a pair of small hotels in Germany—where there were much-loved business-friends to visit with over the holidays—and where the cultural management of Christmas is way different from the Irish everything-closes-down, no-escape, either-"be with your relatives"-or-"be at home alone with no way to leave." (Because transport in and out of this country becomes astonishingly difficult until two days or so after December 25, and even local transport becomes tough for carless people [which meant us]: no taxis, almost no buses or trains (or none at all). ...Therefore that getaway was emotional balm to the both of us, and afterwards we repeated it when we could afford to.
So. Over the course of the autumn I’ve been gradually starting to try to pull the business of my daily life and (what ought to be) my daily work back into some kind of working order. Not easy, when your best friend and writing partner and husband and confidant and—yeah, let's use the somewhat overused word, soulmate—is suddenly forever absent. After forty years of not being alone, I'm having to learn to do the being-alone thing again: every day, every hour, every minute. And the process has, I guess, been going as well as it could be expected to. No one gets over (or should get over!) forty years of intimate life- and work-partnership in a matter of months. You just kinda slog through day after weary day and take the challenges as they come, hoping you'll grow through them: or at least, grow around them.
But now, yippee, like that train down the tunnel, blaring its horn: here comes Christmas. The first one without him. And I feel kinda idiotic in, earlier this year, not having seen this coming. (sigh) I may have had some kind of idea that by now I'd be able to manage the pain. ...(eyeroll: bwahahahahaNOPE.) :/
This being the case, over recent days I've found myself thinking more and more often that I'd very, very much like to Get The Hell Out Of Dodge, so as to avoid possibly losing what small ground I’ve gained. And it occurred to me over last weekend that there’s still time to make it happen, if (as the song says) "the Fates allow". And if people are inclined to assist, as I'm currently between royalty periods.
My goal is to just get out of the country for that week—a few days before Christmas and a few days after: ideally to take refuge in a city aparthotel somewhere over thataway (waves vaguely at continental Europe), where I can be out of other people's hair, not imposing myself and my pain inescapably on friends at a festive time (but absolutely able to see them: that'd be a high point, if this comes together). This would also mean I'd be able to withdraw to do some work (because book work's very much on my mind right now, as it's been hard to get it done on site), or able to go out for a snack or something, and not just be trapped here in—to get a bit Sherlockian about this—the Empty House. (Which is SO empty now: so dreadfully silent, in this deeply rural place, without even any town or city noises to break the sense of isolation. It's amazing how hugely the nature of a space can change when the other person who lived in it has abruptly stopped doing that. What once felt like a shared refuge can start to feel like a prison.)
Anyway. If I can get the finance end of things to work out, the above-described Escape can happen... assuming that stuff happens quickly enough. (As with passing days, transport and lodging will become more difficult to arrange.)
Therefore, hoping to help this happen, I've rolled the prices in the Ebooks Direct store back to Black Friday/Cyber Monday levels: and there they'll stay until it becomes clear, over the next five days or so, whether this effort can be made to work or not. So expect to see a lot of ads in my timeline until it becomes plain whether this can be made to work. If you feel inclined to add to your TBR pile, please let me point our bundles page at you (or vice versa). There's something like two million words of prose there. Surely that'll get you through until after New Year's. 🙂
Also, for those of you who're already up to your ears in ebooks, but want to be a part of this effort (or who are in the UK, as to my continuing annoyance we can't sell there any more): I'd like to point you at my Ko-Fi, and—if you're inclined to assist—ask you to tag whatever you might like to drop into the pot as “Dodge," or something similar. It'll be very much appreciated, believe me.
And also for those of you who feel inclined: please feel free to reblog this, so that others who might be interested in what's going on can see it.
Thanks, friends. 😊
*For those of you who may not know the story: Peter formally broke off his relationship with organized religion in his pre-teen years when the local C-of-I vicar, on a "home visit" to his Mum, attempted to sternly inform him that animals—specifically cats—"had no souls" and therefore would not be admitted to Heaven. Peter (having just rescued a local abandoned kitty) had no time for that idea, and told the vicar so, loudly and angrily... clearly aware of all the possible personal consequences of this position to him at home, and not giving a fuck about them. To the best of my knowledge, he never again set foot inside any religious institution in Northern Ireland except for relatives' weddings and funerals. Yet also: he never willingly missed a Caturday... so now you know a little about why. :)
Oh, BTW, as regards stuff going on at Ebooks Direct right now...
Last night (or more accurately, at three in the morning) the store woke me up to let me know that another wave of credit card scammers had arrived... so I wound up spending until nearly dawn dealing with them, as some of the safeguards I'd put in place hadn't worked correctly. (What these people are trying to do is run hundreds of small-purchase charges on us to test stolen credit card numbers... which obviously I am not going to permit, for a whole batch of reasons.)
As a result I've now added some different types of security to keep this from happening, and we'll see how those play out in the days to come. But I am really eager to get a full night's sleep tonight if I can. So until tomorrow morning (at least until I get up and have my damn tea...), credit card purchases will not be available at the store. If you want to buy something at our current sale prices (which would be fabulous, please and thank you!), please use PayPal!
...Also: please note the brief discussion over here about the price on The Fix... which has changed (except that it hasn't, really. Read the post and you'll see what I mean).
Thanks, all!
"Trouble at' mill": some kurfuffle over at Ebooks Direct
Just so that people know:
Over the last couple of days, Ebooks Direct has had a flurry of bot-running chargeback scammers come through the site. These, as they repeatedly attempt to run hundreds of fraudulent credit card charges in a few minutes, have cost us a not-huge-but-still-annoying amount of money in chargeback fees that we can ill afford.
As a result, for the time being we've had to change the way the site accepts credit card payments and sends out fulfilled orders.* Please note that temporarily, all orders are going to have to be authorized and fulfilled manually (i.e., via store email from DD) until we've found out how to prevent ourselves from being charged for fraudulent orders that can't be canceled before we're charged. It may take an hour or three for me to deal with your order when it comes in: please bear with me while I manage this stuff. Please & thank you!
Meanwhile, we'd like to ask potential buyers, if at all possible, to use PayPal for purchases instead of credit cards, until we can get this credit card situation (ahem) locked down.
Thanks, friends.
*In fact, until I'm clear that the new antifraud workflows I've installed are working correctly, I'll probably turn off credit card payments during my sleeping hours (sort of 0000-0800 UT). So, for the moment, caveat emptor...
Do you have a passion for short form video content? Do you know all the latest Instagram Reels trends? TikTok dances? CrossingsCon is hiring a video content creator and it could be you! Apply here!
Sale's winding down! So just a reminder...
...that the annual Summer Reading Sale at the Ebooks Direct store is still on! But not for much longer.
Get ebooks even cheaper than usual! More info here.
Buy direct from the author and save! (And help her afford a projected upcoming new-novel research trip...*) 🙂 Also, naturally, you get the Ebooks Direct lifetime replacement guarantee. Lose your books? Change platforms? We'll send you new download links for free.
Sale's scheduled to end after U.S. Labor Day (early on September 2nd)... so act now!
*Got all the currently available books already, but think you might want to contribute to this project anyway? Feel free to use the Ko-Fi and tag your contribution as "research trip" so I'll know what I'm thanking you for. ❤️
(...aww, they're so cute, let's go in for a close-up...)
Just so people know...
I'm taking SignedBooksDirect.com offline (operationally) for the immediate future. Details here.
BTW, just a reminder...
...that the annual Summer Reading Sale at the Ebooks Direct store is on now.
Get ebooks even cheaper than usual! More info here. Buy direct from the author and save! (And help her afford a projected upcoming new-novel research trip...*) 🙂
*Got all the currently available books already but think you might want to contribute to this project anyway? Feel free to use the Ko-Fi and tag your contribution as "research trip" so I'll know what I'm thanking you for. ❤️
...Bumping this for the afternoon/evening crowd...
There's a wizard's manual in the Library of Congress...
No, really. You heard it here first.
I deeply regret not having known about this when we were kindly given a tour of the place some years back. I would have loved to see it in person. 🤨
Anyway, check out the sequential images.
Hello friends! Welcome back to my CrossingsCon tradition of Oath Art. This Con's Oath is Ronan's as described in On Ordeal: Ronan. If you can't read my absolute worst handwriting I have put the full text into the ALT.
I'll be around Con if you want a sticker of this or any of the old ones that can now be found under the tag #oath stickers
Peter Morwood
The original post about his loss is here.
Today, finally, after more delay than I'd have liked (but the reasons for it were understandable and I support them), I brought his ashes home. They're sitting up on his desk, in front of his computer. It seemed logical, considering how very much of his time he spent up there working (among other things) on his Tumblr posts. (And his queue is still unspooling.)
I miss him so much... but that's never going to change. My job now is to make sure that he's not forgotten, by getting his books into print into more than one or two languages: a project that's going to take a while, but which I welcome.
Meanwhile, thanks again to all of you who've sent your support via Ko-Fi and other methods. You're all in my heart every day: along with him.
Just a local update
For those who'll be wanting to know how I'm doing: I think right now the line from The Right Stuff is probably apropos. I'm "maintaining an even strain."
I sort of have no choice, because there's a lot of bureaucratic stuff surrounding Peter's loss that has to be dealt with, and there's not really anyone else to fall back on: in terms of local legalities; this burden falls on me. (shrug) So, I'm keepin' on keepin' on. It's not easy, when half your world has ended: but there's nothing else to do.
Just repeating the news that I just edited into the original post about all this: the "funeral expenses" issue is now handled.
And I want to thank EVERYBODY who so incredibly generously has stepped up to assist. You are all, every one of you, in my heart right now... not least due to the many, many kind things you've had to say about Peter. Current events mean I'm going to be backed up on the thank-yous for some days yet. Please bear with me.
For those who feel inclined, the Ko-Fi account here is open as usual for those who might simply want to drop something into the pot tagged "GNU Peter Morwood."* I'm looking into his notes about his preferred charities so that I can split all such donations in those directions. (For example, P. lost a beloved cousin to childhood leukemia, so I'm looking around for appropriate cancer charities. ...But more of that later.)
In local issues: I'm still waiting for word from the coroner as to when Peter's post-mortem will be happening. (I had hoped it might be today, but there's no news yet.) Not much to be said about this except that the sooner that's all handled and resolved, the happier I'll be. Then other adjacent issues can start being dealt with.
At the physical end: I haven't been sleeping terribly well, but that's probably no surprise. My appetite has been almost nonexistent, but that at least is very slowly starting to recover (to the point where at least food is no longer a source of "no interest whatsoever" or of active distaste). Right now it seems I get better results from eating out instead of cooking in: so that's the way things will go in the very short term.
But for now, pretty much all I can do is sit tight, try to keep household business from getting out of hand (why does it suddenly take so much energy just to do the dishes? ...like I don't know perfectly well why), and wait for Forces Beyond My Control to get moving.
Meanwhile, let me take a moment here to thank everybody who's expressed concern about the state of my wellbeing (and that at a time when I care a whole lot less about it than usual). It's heartening, and I very much appreciate it. I promise to do my best to do right by myself, on all of your behalf. (Behalfs? Behalves? Pfft.)
Thanks again, everybody. —D.
*People are also reminding me that the financial health of the household's still-living member in the immediate future is also an issue here. 😏 Heaven forbid I should argue the point. If you want, tag such donations as "DD" and I'll note that. ...And thanks again, all. I can always count on y'all to look after me. ❤️
Peter Morwood
I am so sorry to have to tell you all about this. None of you, I suspect, will ever have any idea how sorry.
I am in utter shock and terrible pain to have to inform everyone that our friend, my dear husband and creative partner of nearly forty years, Peter Morwood, passed away suddenly early this morning after a brief illness that as late as yesterday (when his doctor saw him) had seemed to be on the mend.
I'm not in any position to say much more about this situation now, as you'll understand my current mental state is not up to the task. (I keep expecting to wake up from a bad dream, but it shows no sign of breaking.) I will let people know more about this in coming days.
There will be a postmortem shortly to determine the exact cause of his death. I'll share what details of this are appropriate as they become clear.
Meanwhile in the short term I'm very much going to need assistance with the expenses that in the days that follow will inevitably surround what's happened. For those people who want to assist, please feel free to use the Ko-Fi account here, and simply tag the associated messages, etc, "P expenses".
My love will wait for me, I know, however long it takes. He's never minded waiting. (the saddest smile) My job now is to make sure he's not forgotten while I go on.
Meanwhile, can I just say to all of of you: I thank you all ahead of time for all the support and fondness for Peter that I know so many of you will express. He'd blush over it, I know. (He always did.) Please forgive me for being unable to do much in the way of answering messages, just now, in the wake of having to get to grips with this sudden and awful change in my world.
But also let me say, so urgently: Hug your loved ones now, while you can. Eventually a day will come when, expected or not, your opportunities end.
Thanks, friends.
--DD
