No Title @completelyhopelessprocrastinator - Tumblr Blog

Every lesbian you know is looking for a butch. They talk about them the same way cryptozoologists discuss fabled beasts. "Need to find a butch", "Imagine a butch...", "Hunting for a butch". Get the cast of finding bigfoot on this, I think I just heard a carabiner clink against a tree.

only-tiktoks

britney-j-christ

softservecanine

You’re completely correct. Out of my way, able-bodied losers. Fuck you.

prokopetz

I enjoy a joke about fucked up German fairy tales as much as the next nerd, but it's genuinely striking how often the source for the really fucked up stuff turns out to be "yeah, this is only in the Brothers Grimm version and doesn't appear in any extant oral tradition, and we're like 80% sure they added it themselves". To a large extent it's not German fairy tales that are fucked up, it's two specific German dudes.

thelovers-thedreamers-and-me

in retrospect we probably should have given the fairy tale writing to the Brothers Happy instead

benzohoarder

figural

#google translate does not capture the tone switch so i have to say. first two sentences are like. normal maybe kind of feminine posting tone #& the last is like. shounen manga protagonist. action movie hero. jojo's bizarre adventure character. #the tone you would use if you were holding a gun with the safety off (– @chadlesbianjasontodd)

minothtime

Basically, a translation could be:

I just think it's so interesting that people end up falling in love with their friends' boyfriends! I absolutely despise every single one of them. give me my fucking homie back you goddamn bastard

liminalweirdo

translation tags by @minothtime because they are so so good

dikdikpronouncedxylophone

bumblebeebats

Why is it that every time I google something like "Are olives poisonous to cats" the top results are always like "Fun fact: Cats are carnivores! This means that they eat meat. There is no reason to include olives in a cat's diet. You should feed your cat cat food, which is dry or wet food especially designed for cats. You can purchase this at a store." like is there a single person alive on the planet who's googled "Are blueberry muffins safe for cats" because they're planning on switching their cat to a muffin-only diet??? No, I'm asking because the little bastard somehow popped open the packet while I was putting away the groceries and dragged one under the couch before I could react and now I need to know if I should call the after-hours vet. "Cats should not eat spaghetti." NO SHIT, SHERLOCK!!!! "Try to keep human food away from cats." i live in a studio apartment with a completely silent and permanently hungry apex predator who has the intelligence of a toddler and the desperate Machiavellian cunning of a creature who spent his formative months on the streets. He can already open doors and he is this 👌 close to learning how to open the microwave. He is stronger than me and covered in knives. So im gonna do my best but for the moment i just need you to tell me whether this yoghurt is going to kill my son y/n

spectralhauntings

I've been using the pet poison hotline's poison list cause it has a search function. It also tells you whether something is mildly, moderately, or severely toxic which can be very handy! It doesn't contain like everything but it might be a good place to start, it also includes plants for fellow houseplant lovers <3

Explore Pet Poison Helpline®s vast knowledge on poisons by reviewing our pet poison list. Explore our top 10 poison and holiday poison lists

sapphireh3arts

i know folks are gonna call me a pedo for this one, but i grew up seeing my mom and grandma naked. they had health issues and at times needed care and help showering. and i truly think more kids need to be shown the nonsexual reality of naked women at a young age. there is nothing sexual about my grandmothers breasts, they were simply body parts. more women die of heart attacks because people are too afraid of breasts to do real chest compressions, because they are scared to touch their breasts. the sexualization of our bodies literally kills us. i need people to be more normal about naked bodies and i'm 100% serious.

scarsofmybliss

I grew up around naked old people who weren't even my family! Gasp! And it was a good thing. I grew up around old-school hippies at a place called Lothlorien (in Indiana) and one of my friends dads held a sauna day every Sunday in the middle of the woods (like you cannot drive to their house, you park about a quarter mile away and walk into the woods kind of woods). All day random old people came to get naked, high (pot), and sweaty. Just random old peen and boobs swaying with the leaves. No big deal. These are things that I believe made me more at home in my body, made me more excited about aging, made me more willing to fight for my security and safety.

dee-the-red-witch

Bodies are just bodies. Nothing sacred and nothing inherently shameful or sinful either. The fact that we still can't get that through everyone in however many years it's been is just fucking idiotic.

only-cat-memes

gracelessmoonwalk

Just had the very vivid image of Eva and Ava smooching and riding a trolley into the sunset, with Simon and Grace dead run over on the tracks. The trolley has cans tied to the back like it's a honeymoon sendoff and one of the guys is squeezing the others butt. Who said that. Send post

nudityandnerdery

Sub-Radio, the band that did Stacy's Dad, coming out with another banger for Pride.

s-n-arly

Reblog to continue scaring Ron.

freedom-shamrock

Always a good time to scare Ron, but this month is an especially good time.

andreii-tarkovsky

We didn’t have a word for our, as you guys call, gay/lesbian people. So we coined that word as an umbrella for all our tribes. We never said, “Well, you’re transgender. You’re bisexual. You’re lesbian.” We never knew those terms. Those are all from Western culture, you know, LGBTQ and all that. So on some level, it’s about getting rid of labels. Those terms were forced upon us.

gaylor-moon

This is really important

lissar-deactivated20220127

this poem plays in my head all! the! time! it’s maddening.

transcript:

[This is the house that built me / and I’m gonna burn it down. / This is the river I crawled from/ and I refuse to drown here. / And bless the strippers / but fuck the men. / And bless the berries / but fuck the farm. / And bless the daughter / but fuck the family. / What is a home / if not the first place you learn to run from? / You’ve got to bite the hand / that starves you, and in doing so / Praise the place that birthed you. / Birthed you fucked up. / Birthed you ugly, and interesting, / and ready to scream.“— Courtney Love Prays To Oregon, Clementine von Radics]

hearthouses

Is God Is (2026) dir. Aleshea Harris

mikkeneko

PSA to fan creators who don't have a lot of regular contact with children: They are almost always bigger than you think. A 1-year-old baby may already be walking. A toddler is likely already hip-high. A 10-year-old may already be taller than at least one of their parents. A 14/15 year old may already have reached their adult height.

amarguerite

Via @watertightvines

wildjuniperjones

Here's the link. It was actually not immediately easy to find, so I thought this might help.

userfinalgirls

SCARY MOVIE (2026)

dir. Michael Tiddes

longsightmyth

I bring a real 'actually people who are pregnant do deserve some special consideration because they are effectively at least temporarily disabled if not permanently after some complications' vibe to the party that a lot of people don't seem to like