Stronger Without Feminism
There’s a huge misconception about feminism and that being a feminist equals being a strong woman and without feminism you are weak woman being held down by “the patriarchy”.
There are millions of women like myself who are living, breathing proof that this is a false statement, in fact I would say that when I was a feminist I was probably in my weakest mental state.
I was believing that everything that was wrong my life was due to this invisible entity keeping me down, oppressing me and nothing was really the fault of my own choices or behavior because in some way I was always the victim. Just by believing that we live in a big, scary male privileged society that holds women back is automatically saying that all woman are victims.
What I have instead discovered over the past year is that a strong woman means questioning EVERYTHING, researching EVERYTHING - not accepting the information and statistics that I’m given by feminism as facts and and as law. Research the crap out of them and then make up your own mind.
The wage gap and rape culture are two perfect examples. As a feminist I used these two “atrocities against women” as the ultimate reasons to why we all must be feminists. I decided one day to look into the statistics that my fellow feminists taught me to recite and I was completely shocked to find that it was all fabricated bullshit. I won’t say all - but most of what I was told by feminists was a blatant lie and this is the problem we have with feminism today.
The young feminists are so outraged by these wage gaps and 1 in 5 rape claims that they just mindlessly run with that narrative and use it to justify being obnoxious loudmouths without taking a single second to research the things that they are screaming and shouting about.
Being a strong woman to me is learning to love myself without anyone else’s approval - that includes woman’s approval. As a feminist I would constantly question myself, I would always be subconsciously desperate for approval from my feminist friends. Now though, I have found that the only way to love yourself is to think for yourself and that’s something you can never, ever do as a feminist. Stepping away from the script is not tolerated in feminism.
Being a strong woman to me is learning self-defense and not expecting the world to be gentle to me because I’m a young fragile feminist. I’ve heard the ever so repeated argument that we shouldn’t have to learn self defense, instead we just need to teach men not to rape - which is an idiotic and careless perspective when you realize that rape is committed by rapists, not MEN.
What this does is takes accountability and responsibility away from ourselves and pigeonholes the other half of the population as potential rapists. We don’t teach young girls how not drown babies, we don’t teach Muslim students how not to be suicide bombers, we don’t teach black students how not to be criminals. Imagine the reaction if any of these were demanded to be taught in our schools - but teach boys how not to be rapists? Yes! We must!
The sad thing is that this has already become a reality. In our classrooms young boys are already being told that they’re dangerous and they need to be reprogrammed. This may be a feminist success story but to me, telling young boys they’re dangerous and there’s something wrong with them just for being boys is one of the most sexist and damaging reactions to modern day feminism.
Being a strong woman to me is being okay with taking a man’s advice. There’s every chance that he may know more on a subject than I do. There’s every chance that he’s not the male gazing, patriarchal, sex-crazed dictator that feminism tells me he is and he just wants the best for me.
Being a strong woman to me is being a co-pilot in a relationship instead of just making it into a matriarchy, refusing to carry out any of my “gender roles” and forcing my partner to admit they’re a feminist. Calling yourself a feminist doesn’t make you any better of a person, how could it when it’s just a label? I have heard of many stories where feminists have slept with a guy who called himself a feminist, what a shining knight he must be she thinks… the next day he tells her he’s not a feminist and she erupts into a fit of misandry and probably makes up a rape accusation along the way. It’s quite comical how out of touch with reality and sense we become when we buy into the idea that being a feminist makes you more special than everyone else.
Being a strong woman to me is not blaming the mythical patriarchy and my make believe oppression for my problems. We are the most liberated, equal and capable people in the world yet all feminists do is cry how victimized and helpless they are in this male dominated society. Get out of your safe space, stop taking bullshit degrees that gets you nowhere like gender and women’s studies and start taking responsibility for your life with no excuses. If you lose the mentality of being the perpetual victim and being offended by everything, you’ll start to see that there’s really nothing holding you down or stopping you from achieving anything you want to do.
Most of the fields which used to be dominated by men are no longer. And the few that still are, that’s only because we have tens of thousands of young, deluded feminists wasting all their time and money on these pointless, cereal-box gender degrees than having the guts to take the more serious degrees that men are doing. There’s nothing stopping women anymore, make the most of your freedoms and opportunity, you have it more than anyone else on Earth. Men are not the enemy. The lies and deceit of feminism is the enemy.
If you are a young feminist and you’re stuck in feminism like I was, I highly encourage you to look into what you have been taught, please research what your peers are saying, don’t just accept them as fact, you need to research them and understand that there may be more to it than what they are telling you.
Hopefully when you climb out of feminism you will look back and you will first be so embarrassed for what you have said to people like I was but I especially hope you will finally see the world through a normal lens and become a happier and stronger person.
This kind of response always makes me chuckle, because the most important lesson I've ever gotten from feminism is that nothing is beyond criticism.
