my public journal

henlo, this is my public journal, I literally just post rants about everything

[concrete-shoes-pls]

On today's episode I'm going to DIY some concrete shoes for my upcoming beach trip

[concrete-shoes-pls]

I'm getting divorced and it's kinda bitter sweet like one one hand

That's the last connection I have to her (sad)

On the other hand

THATS THE LAST CONNECTION I HAVE TO HER! LFG (excited)

[concrete-shoes-pls]

Instagram recommended me one of the kid's profiles and I saw they graduated this year! I'm really proud of you kiddo, good job!

[concrete-shoes-pls]

why oh why... Do I miss my old life ?

[concrete-shoes-pls]

i miss theses days sometimes

[concrete-shoes-pls]

Happy 1 year anniversary to my ex and legal wife lmfao

[concrete-shoes-pls]

It's very odd to love someone but also still missing someone else. Like I seriously love my partner, and not in a rebound way, but I do miss some of the good times from the last. Luckily my partner is understanding about that.

[concrete-shoes-pls]

Bro wtf I just read a quote that fucking spooked me

"leaving me and saying "you deserve better" is an interesting way to say I'm not worth getting better for"

[concrete-shoes-pls]

It's so wild meeting someone and instantly clicking. Like this human just met last week and I have been talking Nonstop since. And like, bro they make all the previous heart break disappear. Could it be a rebound, ig, but this feels different. It feels good to get the same energy you give.

[concrete-shoes-pls]

This Happens at least once daily

"OH MY GOD BABE LOOK AT TH- oh right, I'm alone."

[concrete-shoes-pls]

Happy girlfriend day.

[concrete-shoes-pls]

I miss you, as in my family, my friends made

[half-a-corpse-half-a-poet]

-Roland Barthes

[mishalnasir]

matching tattoos and pineapple bubblegum

guitar and our bodies in the basement floor

you always told me how you loved me more than meursault loved self estrangement and nihilism

it was poetic like plato describing the world as a perfect place

there was literature in the way you touched my baby soft skin

all the memories i hold within

but times had to change and we had to part ways

like an animal giving birth to the little one only to live away

[emotionalwords]

[concrete-shoes-pls]

Do you still wear our vans?

[beforeyearning]

And if, July leaves me—empty hearted, empty throated &

empty-handed, I pray it spares my bed, bellyful with

dreams of you. My pillow or my head—I cannot discern

who romanticizes you more. I sometimes wake with your

eyes: those days, I pay attention to everything. A common

dream—you scatter your words downwind, and I do my

best to collect and recreate the poem, but you always set

it ablaze at the end, and I awake. Maybe it’s a half-formed

metaphor for yearning, maybe it’s me trying to reconcile

you with the ‘you’ in my dreams (though little is different).

I dreamt you once planted jasmines in my heart & they

bloomed in minutes.

I dreamt you told me to drive four

hours north to scream in the densest forest I can get to,

and no matter what I said, it always echoed back

‘love love love love love’.

I dreamt of your hands, it was in the distance,

and ran towards them to be nestled in them.

I try & tell you that I dreamt about you,

but when do I not?