Confessions From a Girl Who's Finding Herself

[confessionsfromme23-blog]

happy December! 😬

[confessionsfromme23-blog]

3. the Battle

today i'm losing the fight against myself. the will to be strong. today i cried. all day. today i got off work at 4pm, and went straight home, took a bath, and laid in bed. today i forgot to eat, because i had no appetite. today i forget what happiness feels like. today i don't want to talk to anybody. not even my best friends. not even my family. today i question my faith. today i wonder if i'm strong enough to make it through to tomorrow. today i don't understand why i was given this hand. why i have to depend on a small white pill to function "normally." or why my mind is constantly fighting my body. today i survived. today that was enough.

[confessionsfromme23-blog]

2. Thursday Night Travels

Thursday brought me to a different city. a new place where nobody knew me. I felt left out because everybody knew everybody, and i didn't. But i liked it. i could be myself. because nobody knew the "real me", who isn't really me at all. i got crazy. i did some things. not proud of all of them. but for just a night...i was FREE.

[existential-words]

[confessionsfromme23-blog]

1: Don't Try to Date the Boy With the Girlfriend

This seems like it would be obvious. When you're wrapped up in the middle of it, it's not always so obvious. Some boys have a way with words. There will be one who will make you feel like you're on top of the world. Like you're invincible. Like you're special. For the first time in a long time, like you're beautiful. He'll make you laugh harder than you've ever laughed before, and you'll be comfortable with him from Day 1. There's just one (not so) small problem: He's taken. He'll say he's going to leave her, things are just "complicated" right now. Don't. Fall. For. It. He's comfortable right where he is. After all, he is currently getting the best of both worlds. Main chick. Side chick. IT'S NOT YOU. There is nothing wrong with you. She isn't better than you. It's actually not even a competition. But you need to walk away. For the sake of your own sanity. For your happiness. So you can actually give somebody else a chance. Somebody who isn't wasting your time. Somebody who doesn't see you as just an option. But it's difficult. Because you swear that this person means more good than they do harm and you hope deep inside that they care about you as much as you care about them. And you hope that...even though it isn't a competition...you end up being their choice. and that's why I'm still here.