Confessions of a Fandom Addict

a blog about fandom, being a fan, and walking away

[mainflopgirl]

everything popular in the 2010′s was bad. g*me of thr*nes? bad. star war? bad. the mcu and iron musk? bad. drake….ed sheeran….joffrey star? all bad. also superwholock was a thing once so like need i explain more???? in the 2020′s it is time that we stop hyping up terrible things and letting them blow up to the point where we have like…grown adults running stan accounts for like…benedict cumberbkdfjs and shipping those two one direction dudes together. let’s all develop some taste in the new decade ladies  ✌️

[damnfandomproblems]

Bloggers who complain about bloggers complaining.            

[damnfandomproblems]

Watching your fandom die, wishing it could go on forever, but then realizing with sadness that it’s become more habit & nostalgia than anything else, and you’re losing interest            

[confessionsofafandomaddict]

falling off the wagon

Yep, that’s me, falling of the wagon and back on my bullshit. I got dragged into my fandom again. I don’t enjoy it and I feel better without it (mental health wise and physically) but it’s hard to unstan. I can’t be the only one who feels this way. But I keep trying. Honestly, there need to be a support group for this kind of thing!

Hard to admit but I want to be honest in this blog. Or what’s the point?

[myheartbodyandsoul]

unstanning is harder than i thought 😭 it’s gonna take a lot of time and will fucking power.

is there even a proper way?? help.

imagine having someone who you adore and even love and look up to so much and all of a sudden you want to feel nothing towards that person anymore. APATHY. that’s what I want. But nooooo, my heart and mind say i should feel HATRED towards that person, I DO NOT WANT THAT. but that’s exactly how im feeling right now 😓

I hate her. Loathe her. And i wish this feeling would go away. I don’t want to have anything to do with her anymore😔

[hawt-me33]

Coming into a fandom late

[baxterdamus-deactivated20130513]

Coming into a fandom early and watching it become an angry clusterfuck

[valorious]

Being in a dormant fandom that suddenly comes alive again after a new book/movie

[leatherpatches-deactivated20150]

Don’t forget about those who come in the midst of a fandom war. 

[fauxmoux]

Accuracy at its best

[street-of-mercy]

Being in a fandom and not even knowing there’s a war going on…

[my-reylo]

all of this shit…lol

[nerdsagainstfandomracism]

When You’re Not In The Fandom But You’re Nosy AF

[not-so-secret-nerd]

When you get into a fandom only to discover it’s dead

[jupiter235]

This gets better every time I see it. 

[sageblackrose95]

@fuboos-mess

[inverted-mind-inc-sideblog-deac]

Being in a dead fandom…

[illogicalarchive]

Or being in such a tiny fandom that it feels like youre the only one

[erilias]

The accuracy hurts.

[fanfic-yes-please]

Being in a fandom that had a shit ending.

[it-is-bugs]

When you’ve been fangirling long enough, you’ve experienced all of the above.

[sweetferalbaby]

Being in a fandom meant for kids.

[teaganvamp]

This just gets better..

[hamboj2]

@mi-kleos

[thatcrazysonicchick]

When you realize that joining the fandom has ruined you

[knightofbloodcancer]

Fandom hell in general

[morathavictoria]

Yes.

[marvelanimelover]

This^^^ just… ALL OF THIS.

[stop-talking-babe-deactivated20]

Being in so many fandoms that you don’t even know what’s going on

[raise-cain-archived]

THIS IS THE SKULDUGGERY FUCKING PLEASANT FANDOM IN ONE POST!!

[crochanblackbeak]

Trying to recruit people to your fandom

[kateriverameliawolfe]

Annnnnnndddd it’s back

[ishipwhatiship247]

Being in a fandom which has so many antis

[ravenhilarious]

I’ve probably reblogged this before, but that was before these great additions.

[swanqueen-author]

Being in a fandom that actually works together

[commanderunhingedmongoose]

Why is this so true? All of it.

[pillowprincesslexa]

being in a fanbase but all your mutuals suddenly turn into Kpop blogs

[hangingfire]

I always enjoy it when a good post comes around again and has been improved by the reblogs like the years for a fine wine.

[priory-of-stars]

Being in a fandom when shit goes down and everyone has different opinions

[marianagmt]

When you are in a fandom and don’t care for others people opinion…..even if they are right…(believe me, I have met several of those)

[batbyte-alghul]

Being in a fandom you never meant to join

[tirnel-sutcliff-spears]

I love this. and it’s gotten better

[cartoonjessie]

After abandoning a fandom you’re still a little bit emotionally invested in….

[brit-is-bookish]

All of these are me. Lol

[thehikingastronomer]

Being in a fandom on Tumblr

[julietsemophase]

And it reached its epic conclusion

[confessionsofafandomaddict]

Fandom reaction gifs from my collection:

[confessionsofafandomaddict]

What, you really think it will be different this time?

One of the things that bothers me more about a compulsion to check my fandom is how irrational it is. I’m a pretty rational person, at least in most things. But when it comes to my fandom lift, I’m completely irrational.

Do I think that if I check blogs or twitter accounts, it will be different this time? Just, you know, magically? The fandom itself will be more fun and less toxic and tiresome, or things will be better with my fave? If I just give it one more chance, it will get better?

I’ve seen the theory that fans stay in toxic fandoms or keep supporting toxic faves because of sunk costs. Sunk costs in business are costs that have already occurred and you can’t get them back. As in, you’re already in up to your neck, so it feels futile to give up now when you’re so invested.....so you might as well get in over your head. 

It’s hard to back out when you’ve spent years in a fandom, with all the ups and downs. You’re invested in a character or show or ship or actor or artist. You try to justify the things that disappoint you. You tell yourself you have a limit, but you keep making excuses when your fave crosses that line. It’s not so bad, it’s not as awful as you feared, other fans are just being dramatic. Or, you don’t want to leave when other fans get to you and it’s not fun anymore, but then how can you get information? Get your fix? See what’s going on?

This time, you think, things will be different. I’ll just have a quick look and I can always log off Tumblr again. Right?

[confessionsofafandomaddict]

Is it me or is it you?

Sometimes I wonder if I can’t leave fandom because of my personality or because my fandom is just crappy. Fandom, I can’t quit you! Being inside the fandom bubble alters your way of seeing things. It’s hard for me to be objective. Do I need fandom as a crutch or an escape? Well, that’s a yes for sure. I’ve always been a daydreamer, walk into a tree with a book kind of person. It’s not my whole personality -- I’m really quite a practical person -- but it’s a definite aspect of my personality. Being a fan is a way to channel that part of me and theoretically, it should be positive and fun.

But on the other hand, this particular fandom has gone downhill and I’ve only had trouble leaving a fandom once before. And not this bad. I don’t want to name this fandom because I don’t want to get into drama. But I suppose naming the fandom isn’t the point. The point is, I got in way too deep and became far too invested. And as fandom fractured and anger built up, it only made things worse.

Would it be easier to leave a healthier fandom?

[confessionsofafandomaddict]

Why am I here?

Well. I’m glad you asked. I’ve been obsessed with different fandoms since as long as I could remember. I’ve made websites, wrote fanfiction, debated meta, navigated shipping wars. Recently, I realized that I’ve been having trouble -- a lot of trouble -- leaving a fandom that has become toxic and no longer enjoyable. But I found I couldn’t walk away. As much as I vowed to stop, I kept checking blogs, getting upset over fandom discourse, and getting disappointed with the object my fandom was about. I kept checking Tumblr and Twitter, exposed myself to all kinds of negativity, and generally made myself miserable.

When I was able to take a few days away from fandom, I felt so much better. More focused, positive, calmer. I took care of myself better and was more social. But the urge to fall back into that fandom always came back and with it, some larger negative patterns in my life. Falling back into a fandom I’d lived in for several years brought back a familiar and stressful imbalance.

Why was it so hard to quit a fandom I didn’t want to be part of anymore?

Another question I started to ponder: why isn’t there more discussion about *how* to quit a fandom when it’s difficult? Fandoms are big and emotional and easily accessible, thanks to social media. Was I the only person having this problem? I searched terms like quitting fandom, how to unstan, and leaving fandom. I thought about this *a lot*.

Hence, this blog. If I was trying to quit something else and having a hard time, and experiencing negative physical and mental effects, I’d probably think of that as an addiction. I read a lot about internet addiction and social media addiction in my search. So, here we are. I’d like to talk about what I’ve been going through to 1)see if it makes it easier to let go of the fandom for good and 2)perhaps provide a message in a bottle in case someone else is going through the same thing and needs a resource. 

It seemed appropriate to just go with the generic Tumble avatar for this, the melancholy pyramid with the downcast eyes. Anonymous asks are open if anyone finds this and wants to talk. I’ll probably share some controversial opinions here as I go along, but they are just my opinions and I don’t try to impose my view on others.

Here we go.