Confessions of a Bipolar girl

Random posts mainly books & Fashion, Timothee chalamet, struggling with bipolar disorder and Med school ♥️

[acutelesbian]

A lot of people ask me what my biggest fear is, or what scares me most. And I know they expect an answer like heights, or closed spaces, or people dressed like animals, but how do I tell them that when I was 17 I took a class called Relationships For Life and I learned that most people fall out of love for the same reasons they fell in it. That their lover’s once endearing stubbornness has now become refusal to compromise and their one track mind is now immaturity and their bad habits that you once adored is now money down the drain. Their spontaneity becomes reckless and irresponsible and their feet up on your dash is no longer sexy, just another distraction in your busy life. Nothing saddens and scares me like the thought that I can become ugly to someone who once thought all the stars were in my eyes.

[fat-thin-skinny]

this fucks me up every single time

[acutelesbian]

I never expected this to be my most popular poem out of the hundreds I’ve written. I was extremely bitter and sad when I wrote this and I left out the most beautiful part of that class.

After my teacher introduced us to this theory, she asked us, “is love a feeling? Or is it a choice?” We were all a bunch of teenagers. Naturally we said it was a feeling. She said that if we clung to that belief, we’d never have a lasting relationship of any sort.

She made us interview a dozen adults who were or had been married and we asked them about their marriages and why it lasted or why it failed. At the end, I asked every single person if love was an emotion or a choice.

Everybody said that it was a choice. It was a conscious commitment. It was something you choose to make work every day with a person who has chosen the same thing. They all said that at one point in their marriage, the “feeling of love” had vanished or faded and they weren’t happy. They said feelings are always changing and you cannot build something that will last on such a shaky foundation.

The married ones said that when things were bad, they chose to open the communication, chose to identify what broke and how to fix it, and chose to recreate something worth falling in love with.

The divorced ones said they chose to walk away.

Ever since that class, since that project, I never looked at relationships the same way. I understood why arranged marriages were successful. I discovered the difference in feelings and commitments. I’ve never gone for the person who makes my heart flutter or my head spin. I’ve chosen the people who were committed to choosing me, dedicated to finding something to adore even on the ugliest days.

I no longer fear the day someone who swore I was their universe can no longer see the stars in my eyes as long as they still choose to look until they find them again.

[conceitedtrash]

This is so fucking important and I think it’s something I needed right now

[lilvcalloway]

The Love Hypothesis (2021)

[marshmalaphor]

A Love Letter to Type 7

To Those Afraid to Take a Step Back,

           More easy-going than most, you, sweet soul, surprise the masses with your energy. Spontaneous and always on-the-go, I see your restlessness as an itch you’ve never truly been able to reach to scratch, but that’s never really stopped you from trying.

           Despite any danger or cause for concern, you want to try it all. Hungry for life—always expectant and wanton for more—you gobble up opportunities like bubblegum, and when the taste no longer serves you, you spit them out and start afresh.

           Calm in a crisis, as living on the edge is where you prefer to stay, you schmooze with the best of them, but you have trouble with long-term goals because the payoff is just so far into the future. I can help with that.

           My little mountain-mover, you always manage to find the silver-lining, but you have such trouble seeing the value of what’s already laid out in front of you. Permanently ready for what comes next, you sometimes gloss over living in the now, which is ironic, because you pride yourself on being a creature of instant gratification.

           Whole in the wild, you outstretch your arms and grasp for freedom, but you forget that independence and autonomy are already yours.

           With the ferocity to assert yourself when you need to, there is no one who dares to cross your path unprepared. That intensity, too, means that you have it in you to face and work through the negative emotions playing on loop in the background. And I know that the fear of missing out is real, but you have got to take a moment of pause. You have to, or you will run yourself into the ground; you’re already knee-deep.

           I know you feel like “too much”—that you think you over-share yourself, that you’re too open—but, darling, that is your truth, and it could never make “too much.”

Ever-flourishing, like your existence,

r.h.

P.S. Slow down. Breathe. Think before you jump.

Song: Seven by Sleeping At Last

Song: Good Time – Acoustic by Owl City

[adhd-af-blog]

*googling ADHD helpful things*

Site 1: “Our website is specially made for ADHD”

me: :)

Site 1: “in children.”

Me: :I

Site 2: “Yeah same.”

Me: :/

Literally all other sites: “What he said.”

Me: :(

No lol but here are some good websites for ADHD

www.understood.org

www.add.org

[sehomes]

[thenordroom]

A warm Scandinavian Christmas by Artilleriet | The Nordroom

[myfashionburden]

christian dior autumn/winter 2021-2022 haute couture

[clutteredmbti]

Happened to me recently and it's the best feeling, like you actually want to talk to me??

This is how introverts can adopt my ass and don't even realize it.

[myer-briggs-mess]

Finna be oblivious as heck

[late-nights-in-the-city-deactiv]

[shiresheelf-deactivated20220827]

whilst Samantha put on the best of the eighties, I put on the worst.

[tvandenneagram]

Gilmore Girls: Logan Huntzberger - Type 7w8

Logan is carefree, relaxed and charming. Logan seems to have little direction in life and is always searching for adventure and excitement.

At his best, Logan becomes more caring about the feelings of others and learns to take life more seriously. He is more driven and responsible in his work life and wants to commit to Rory and settle down.

At his worst, Logan seeks new experiences to avoid his feelings. He is impulsive and selfish in his actions, often thinking only about what he wants to do.

Logan comes from great wealth and thinks he is entitled to do as he pleases and wants to live in the moment. His attitude towards life is very carefree and he knows that his families wealth and reputation will support him, despite his work ethic. As a result, he doesn’t take his studies seriously at all and is more concerned with partying and being a part of the Life and Death Brigade. He approaches most events with a light-heartedness and is often cracking jokes to lighten any situation.

When Logan meets Rory he is happy being non-exclusive with her. However, Rory is not happy with this arrangement and Logan is so intrigued by her that he is willing to commit to her, despite this being very foreign and unusual for him. As time passes, Logan shows he genuinely cares about Rory and begins to try and put her feelings and desires above his own.

Logan has a wing 8 as he is more impulsive and emotional than a wing 6 might be.

Tri-type:7w8 - 3w2 - 9w8

Some quotes to describe Logan’s motivations:

“You have to tell me why we’re committing a felony before we do it.”

“This cloak and dagger stuff can be a little tricky if you don’t own a dagger… and you look funny in a cloak.”

“I have thought about asking you out several times. I just don’t think it’s a good idea. Because you’re special.”

“It’ll be fun, it’ll be a thrill. Something stupid, something bad for you. Just something different. Isn’t this the point of being young? It’s your choice, Ace. People can live a hundred years without really living for a minute. You climb up here with me, it’s one less minute you haven’t lived.”

“You never really needed rescuing, Ace. You know that.”

[tvandenneagram]

Gilmore Girls: Lorelai Gilmore - Type 7w8

Lorelai is energetic, impulsive and confident. She enjoys adventures and approaches life and its challenges with a light hearted and fun loving attitude. Lorelai is a natural jokester and enjoys having a laugh in any situation, even when it may not always be appropriate.

At her best, Lorelai is hardworking, responsible and knows what she wants. Lorelai channels her energy into creative and fruitful endeavours such as the Dragonfly Inn and is proactive in prioritising her goals to successfully run the Inn. Lorelai also becomes more aware of the feelings of others and becomes closer with her loved ones.

At her worst, Lorelai becomes more judgmental and critical of others. She loses some of her carefree nature and is more rigid in her opinions and ideas. This can be seen when she issues Luke with an ultimatum about their relationship as she is becoming more distressed at the situation and more stubborn about what she wants from Luke.

Lorelai is a free spirit and enjoys having her independence. This is part of the reason why she is often at opposing sides with Emily as she is much less concerned with conventions and rules. Lorelai is headstrong and believes she can manage on her own, even when she finds herself pregnant at 16 she embarks on a new life in Stars Hollow without knowing a soul. This attitude is also why she is so against marrying Christopher to save face as she sees it as a limitation on what her future will be and doesn’t want to be tied down and missing out on her own life.

Lorelai and Luke share a very deep and special bond throughout the show. They often complement each other as Luke tends to ground Lorelai and she helps him become less cynical and more spontaneous. They are both very committed to each other and take a long time to admit their feelings for each other due to the fear they both have of things going awry. Lorelai also has a tendency of avoiding her feelings and seems to be waiting for some confirmation from Luke that he is interested in her as more than a friend. Lorelai seeks the stability of Luke and becomes very attached to his diner and coffee as a way of being close to him. She feels like she can tell him anything and is often poking fun at his expense in a flirtatious way.

Lorelai and Christopher have a long history and grew and changed a lot after high school. The timing is always off for the two of them but Lorelai feels as though she needs to see what a relationship with Christopher would be like in order to fully move on and live in the moment. Lorelai acts as though she has moved past her youth but will often come back to it with unresolved feelings, with the biggest being Christopher. She needs to see what her life would have been like due to the fear that she may have missed out by not being with Christopher, especially after he seems to have become more stable in his own life. Ultimately, she explores this avenue and it is clear that she will always be friends with him but her feelings are with Luke.

Lorelai has quite balanced wings as she is sometimes fantastical but can also be quite practical. Overall I think she leans slightly closer to her wing 8 as she is quite pragmatic in her professional life and with the way she raised Rory.

Tri-type: 7w8 - 9w8 - 2w3

Some quotes to describe Lorelai’s motivations:

“Cheeseburger, onion rings, and a list of people who killed their parents and got away with it. I’m looking for heroes.”

“I need coffee, whatever form you got, I haven’t had it all day. I’ll drink it, shoot it, eat it, snort it, whatever form it’s in.”

“This is it. She can finally go to Harvard like she’s always wanted and get the education that I never got and get to do all the things that I never got to do and then I can resent her for it and we can finally have a normal mother-daughter relationship.”

“I can be flexible. As long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I’m totally flexible.”

“It’s all any of us wants, to find a nice person to hang out with ’til we drop dead. Not a lot to ask.”

“Everything in my life has something to do with coffee.”

[k-enneagram]

Type 7: The Entertaining Optimist

To an outsider, Type Sevens look to be adventurous, fun and “on top of the world,” but they are susceptible to difficult emotions, anxiety, sadness, loneliness, and frustration. Though they feel compelled to convince themselves and others that they are upbeat, spontaneous and fun, their secret, darker feelings can bring them down. They are constantly working to avoid their Core Fears of boredom, missing out, being incomplete or lacking, and being trapped in emotional pain.

Type Sevens crave satisfaction and contentment, but they privately wrestle with emptiness, self-doubt, melancholy and depression. They suspect they’ll never really get what they want and need in life.

To avoid and distract themselves from their unpleasant feelings, they settle for any stimulation or experience that will bring them some level of entertainment, gratification and pleasure. They keep their mind off of pain by constantly planning and moving toward positive, new and fun future events.

[inattention-intervention]

reblog this if you are adhd and also enneagram type seven

i want to see if there’s a correlation

and if you are have a wonderful evening cause ME TOO BITCH tf

[myer-briggs-mess]

Finna be oblivious as heck

[hobimysun-shine]

#1

SCORPIO x GEMINI 💣

aka *big brain team*

The mix of two people with strong Scorpio placements and a strong Gemini placements can be quite intense on a physical level, however their connection is predominantly mental. They find harmony in each other's chaos. The scorpio brain (as great as it is, trust me I know I'm a scorp too) is cynical and twisted. They are not satisfied with a simple life, they will always search out the dangerous, the promiscuous and the feral in other people. That chaotic energy can be easily understood by the curious mind of the Gemini. Speaking on a more basic level, these two will constantly stimulate and motivate each other on good days and manipulate and exert control on bad days. The possibility for a life together comes from the fact that they can understand those tendencies in the other person and life is never boring, because those are sings in NEED of constant stimulation, change, or even rebirth sometimes. This connection is extremely intellectual and sophisticated. The need to never be in one place, stimulates them to try and better themselves and their partner throughout their whole life. In conclusion an undeveloped Scorpio and Gemini can definitely ruin each other mostly by mental games and manipulation. However if one of them has grown, it can really help the other person see where they are not doing the right thing and help them grow. A developed ànd grown Scorpio and Gemini can create a divine, strongly intellectual, rich connection, that can last them a lifetime, never getting bored of the life they have together.

Now speaking of having both strong Scorp and Gem in your own chart, means strong emotional intelligence within yourself. The scorpio knows how to take your thoughts and feelings to the next level of realization and eventually growth and change and the Gemini can intensify those changes and their meaning, so that this acquired knowledge can help you make better judgements in the future. Now if we have to be a little cryptic here, Scorpio can also sometimes lead you into toxic patterns and negative thought of "no one is here for me", "I'm on my own", etc, you get the vibe and these thoughts can have a bad effect on you, as well as other people. Because when you reach such a moment, the Gemini does a very good job of bringing those insecurities out and project them on other people in the form of manipulation or excessive control. Hopefully with time if this resonates with you, learn how to control the Gemini in a moment of weakness for your scorpio. (I don't have a lot of personal experience with Gems, because I literally have none in my chart, but most of my friends have strong Geminis and that's the experience i am speaking from). Basically Gemini and Scorpio combo in your own chart gives you deep emotional value for your self and creates a better interaction between your intellect and your feelings, so that these two signs develop you into a better person, with much more respect for your self and others.

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

Anyways, this is a new type of posts I'm trying to do, so if anyone has an idea of a paring they want me to do, I surely will !

Edit !! Thanks for all of the requests, this is really fun to do, also if you would like me to make a moodboard/write about anything else connected to astrology or fun aesthetic things, dont be afraid to ask as well !