I Am A Snaek

I play music. Check it. https://stellalane.bandcamp.com/

[evilrashida]

TRUE ROMANCE

[godtechturninheads]

That mattalic pink is perfect for him

[oddishtea]

[glumshoe]

Lyft driver: “Your name, is Slavic? Me too. Bulgarian. I drive fast for you, brother.”

[glumshoe]

Now he’s waxing philosophical about the Ottoman Empire, imperialism, and human nature. “Humans? We are the most dangerous animal. Other animals, they kill when they need to. We kill when we think we need to. It is not the same.”

[cahnteloupe]

Do you ever get annoyed by people who constantly flex? Like OK tone it down some for fucks sake

[confused-canteloupe]

@me

[just-shower-thoughts]

If you wore a vr headset linked to a camera drone that was set to follow you from a few feet behind you could live in third person.

[usarusan]

still laughing about yesterday during gender/sexuality studies class when our professor had everyone chant “VAGINA! PENIS! VAGINA!” a few times to make us more comfortable with saying those terms

and this girl just stands up slowly and says “…this… this isn’t math class…”

[ithelpstodream]

[handstolearn]

[comingupforblair]

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

my new roommate’s best friend literally says “we’ll just go out for one drink” on a weeknight, goes to a club, has ONE drink while everyone else is getting to it, and then tells everyone when it’s time to go home so they can actually make it to class in the morning and I’m genuinely terrified by the amount of self control she has

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

saying you’ll just have one drink at the club on a school night and then following through and getting up for class the next day demonstrates the exact level of resolve it took to amputate your own arm on an 18th century battlefield

[princesszeldazbyebye-deactivate]

Concept: Cold Topic. The opposite of Hot Topic. You walk in and you don’t immediately feel a thousand goth eyes piercing into you. The music is peaceful and subdued and not destroying your eardrums. Lots of color and pastel shades. You find a ton of cute stuff and the lack of the ow the edge attitude is kinda pleasant. The salesperson offers you complimentary cupcakes. You find yourself in a welcoming atmosphere, but it’s a little too welcoming. Another salesperson appears except they look identical to the first one. You start to feel uncomfortable so you buy your things and head for the door. Then 5 more freakishly identical salespeople appear to obstruct your escape route. They don’t let you leave

[celtic-pyro-deactivated20230725]

Claire’s

[patron-saint-of-smart-asses-dea]

S T   O   P

[tema-time]

Claires.

[loismacgiver-deactivated2018061]

get u a gf……………nap on her tiddy

[enlightenedsilverking]

The meaning of life

[kirstenmcduffie]

my dad had a skype interview today so he was sitting in the living room looking all professional in his suit and tie and everything while he’s talking to the people who are interviewing him. and OF COURSE my cat decided that she NEEDED to speak at that moment so she just starts meowing left and right and talking crazy talk to the point where the interviewers just start laughing because she just will NOT shut up. so my dad just kind of sighs, looks at the camera, and goes, “i’m so sorry. i have to ask my cat to leave.” and then he looks over at victoria and very calmly and professionally goes, “victoria, i’m afraid you’re being too loud, and i’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

and she did. she fucking turned and walked out of the living room.

[ghosts-just-wanna-have-fun]

hire the man cats obey.

[peridotsofficialtwitteraccount]

IF YOU CANT HANDLE ME AT MY WORST, JUST REMEMBER THAT I HANDLE ME AT MY WORST AND THAT MAKES ME STRONGER THAN YOU

[myneurodiversity]

Oh my goodness this makes me feel powerful I hadn’t even thought of it like this.

[powerfrogarchive-deactivated201]

name him. name your son

[e-seal-deactivated20210319]

BongWater

[powerfrogarchive-deactivated201]

and so has he been baptized before the lord

BongWater

[pangur-and-grim]

sometimes Pangur gets bored of her toys & starts screaming, so I open a door to Forbidden Territory. it makes her feel sneaky and glad

[mediumfoot]

is there a human trapped inside this weasel

[pangur-and-grim]

she never ate nobody, not once. humans, in this cat?

[pickleandthequeen]

I feel as she should open her mouth an speak prophecy. She is such a striking kitty. Like she is the type of cat I would expect to see at the side of elves.

[pangur-and-grim]

y’all are talking about this cat?

A video posted by Greer Stothers (@pangurandgrim) on Jan 11, 2017 at 7:45pm PST

[catcherofstars017-deactivated20]

This mysterious creature is here to tell us the secret to a utopian society

[pangur-and-grim]

[googlemenot-deactivated20230921]

[florelgreen-deactivated20210608]

you’re really cute and its ruining my life because i think about kissing you all the time

[just-shower-thoughts]

Every single odd number has an “e” in it.

[savvygunner]

[violetnpurple]

LISTEN-

[bl6ckwoman]

Not all of them. 30 and 50 aren’t spelled with the letter e in it …

[antiandrogen]

[teamnowalls-deactivated20180918]

father god 

[abrown16]

…if you can split a number in half evenly, it’s even. 30 and 50 are odd.

[antiandrogen]

[ethereal-sketches]

-_-’

(15+15=30

25+25=30)

[britteryikes]

25+25 = 30? You sure about that??

[laurdlannister-kingslayer]

Lord have mercy….

[kumasenpai]

Bye

[mf-johnson-deactivated20190605]

3 days into 2018 smh

[kwantsu]

LMAOOOOOOO

[effigyofubiquity-deactivated202]

[lizzysarai-deactivated20190109]

One

Three

Five

Nine

And since everything else after that is a variant of these numbers, then all odds have the letter ‘E’.

[britteryikes]

🗣YOU FORGOT SEVEN!!

[thxrsdxy]

It keeps getting worse.

[e-wifey-deactivated20201128]

LMAOOO WHAT IS GOING ON

[ellsworthej]

[goldensweetcheeks-deactivated20]

My head hurts…

[skullprincess]

This is why that Tumblr University shit was the dumbest idea ever just look at this

[ron-a-thon]

One, three, five, seven, nine all have e’s. 30 and 50 are even because they can be split evenly. Fixed it.