Connect the dots

A diary of two friends trying to connect their worlds.

[connectingtothedots]

There are times when I daydream about living in a farm. Waking up to roosters crowing, wonderful sunrise, sweet morning breeze.. and fresh sunny side up eggs on the table! lol I think it's fun to be able to bake your own bread and drink fresh milk.. Hard to maintain but fulfilling I think (cos come on, you won't get fat because of all the work). By the way I am so sorry if my posts has been long delayed. I promise to post more. I SWEAR lol You're very right. We do need updates! 

Miss you Sera <3

[connectingtothedots]

Last Saturday I went to the country with my coursemates for our citizenship project, something to do with contributing a change to a community, and we decided on a school somewhere - SK Pengkalan Sorah, Serian. It was a decent country school, with beautiful surroundings. This was the view from the school. Imagine if the place was a bit humid- mild cold, it would look a little bit calming, don't you think? This is beautiful but hot.

Anyway, we gave the school new paint for every classes (there were 6 classes) and murals. I had fun, it was tiring but fun.

The heart felt blessed to be able to give out something to the community especially in the aspect of education, a conducive environment aids better teaching and learning. 

I wish it was possible to be up on that big tall old tree. I wish, too, that it was possible for the tree to tell me the things it had seen and the stories that it knows. Probably, interesting things and stories.

[connectingtothedots]

Sunday afternoon, watching Fast and Furious movies rerun for the tenth times, while I paint my nails like an elegant lady, accompanied by a naughty yellow teddy.

I am that bipolar. Get Out!

Plus, we need updates, Mary.

// <![CDATA[ Satu // ]]>

[connectingtothedots]

I drew this as a teaching aid. I was teaching the 'Precious Drops' topic and had to teach them on ways to conserve/save water. One way is to turn off the tap while brushing your teeth.

I surprised myself at how great I drew the details. LOL damn, Mary, I'm that artistic! haha

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[connectingtothedots]

Marvin Gaye - Joy.

This song has wonderful quotes to every of its lines.

Last June, I have the lyrics written in a piece of paper and slipped underneath the plastic cover of my desk. Since then, when I feel like works are no fun at all, I'll simply put away all the stuffs and look at the lyrics. And start thinking about how wonderful life is to be loved and to love and the fact that joy can be found almost all the time.

I've learned to find 'Joy' in everything through this.

Here's the full lyrics.

"There's a joy in a sweet word that's been spoken And the joy in a dream that's come true There's a joy that I get when I'm watching you baby And the joy that I get watching the skies of blue And then there's a joy, oh my darling, of a crying baby And the joy of a child that's born to you Then there's a joy of a beautiful lady And the joy of the morning dew

It's something like the joy of loving you baby Joy of dancing too

It's something like the joy of loving you baby Joy of being with you

Oh my darling, I'll overcome the darkest nights Just to see your love's alright I've got a love to give, you know I love to give There's something 'bout the joy of loving you baby"

[connectingtothedots]

#10 to Sera

Dear Sera,

You sound a bit down, and I'm concerned about that. You sound afraid. Though I do know this kind of feeling. But you shouldn't be. You need to feel like you can tell him everything or else you'll forever feel trapped or worried or unsatisfied. Believe me. Also you must encourage him too, to be honest with you. For me, the best kind of relationship is to be able to tell each other what you really feel, no matter how sad, frustrating or lame you think it is and still be together. It's hard to do actually because there's always the thought that the other person might get hurt or leave you because of it but here's the thing you must remember. If the person stays, it just means you're really important to him. And you should do the same thing to him. If you notice, your thoughts are mostly things you are afraid to ask him but why be afraid? If he gets angry, all of this is a joke and you shouldn't be in it. It's better to know earlier don't you think? That's why right now, I just show the person how I really am. If he/she stays then I know that person really cares for me. At some point you just got to stop keeping stuff because in the end, it's all going to be your fault. This is what people say "he/she changed" but what they don't know was that the person they love didn't change. He/she just didn't show how he really is. Do you get what I mean?

Also, you need to filter your friends who has an objective point of view. Not to have them on your favor but to really dictate to you what's right and wrong. I especially didn't like the use his money part. That was downright rude. 

This is what you need to do, have a conversation with him. If he gets mad, he's a cheater. The only way you can build a foundation of trust is when he's willing to talk it out. You deserve all the good stuff, especially that. 

Mary

[connectingtothedots]

#9 To Mary

Dear Mary,

The only thing I have in my mind, is the question whether he is missing me so bad or he's living today not thinkin about me much. I am just so worried. And I want to hear him and his caring voice.

He asked me 'You know my job, right?' Which I take as a question to confirm if I understand that he'll always be away and I have to be fine with that distance and arrangement and the fact that he'll be out of the country a lot. I said yes, I understood. I said I was envious because he can be on trip even if it's for work.

You see, what I wanted to say was that I will understand that that's the nature of his job, but I will have to hide these concerns that I have to refrain. I have concerns. Like will he not look at other girls? Well, even if he looks at other girls, will he let himself be entertained by them during the time we are away from each other? When he looks at them, will he think of me? Or will he compare me with those way hotter girls that he met? Guys will always be guys. The most common thing they have in mind is girls. If they have the chance to touch, they would. And considering how easy they can access some hot girls, ugh, I can't express my concerns in a language but through a loud scream. That's how concerned I am about that matter.

Today, I woke up from a confusing dream. I dreamed that he called me while he was out of the country. You know, right now he is. So he couldn't call me and is only able to email me. So I was shocked to receive his call. And I picked up. And I was so happy to hear him the moment I let the call in.  I used to be so shy but now, it's too comforting. This was all in my dream, but I wish it was real. I really wish he would call me so I can hear his caring and comforting voice.

He's older, you know that right. And I told this someone I called 'my oppa' about him. And this oppa said he's way too old for me. And I should wait and be with someone my age or a LITTLE older like 2-3 years older. Not someone who is 15+ older than me. My oppa was so concerned he said wait until I graduate and get posted to a school. There I'll find someone better and who would be mesmerised by me that he would straight away ask for my hand in marriage. Which to me, is not what I particularly want for my life. Few friends said that I must not trust this 'old' guy. He's rich so just be with him for his money and then when I'm done I should break up with him. One friend even said that I should make him buy me things and also buy things for her. I wonder if it was a joke, but knowing that friend, I was sure it was far from just a stupid comment. What I want to say here is that I only have two friends who are supporting me, you and one friend (A). But A asked me few days ago, she said, if that 'old' guy propose you, would you marry him? I was speechless by the question. You know, I am not thinking marriage, ever. for now, yeah I'm way out of the question. I don't see myself getting married, but I see myself wanting to be with him as his girl, lady, woman, lover, best friend, supporter, etc but not as his wife. It's way too cliche for me to be somebody's wife. Even if that someone is the one I love. Besides, I am not sure whether I am worth of a marriage. I am afraid of being too attached, and afraid of the obligation of a wife, and the fact that I have to be concerned of not only my husband but also his family  like in-laws. I can't see myself that way, for now. So A said, don't you LOVE him so much to make you want to marry him when he propose to you? I avoided the question by filling my mouth with food instead.

All I want is to be loved and to love. For who I am, for who he is. Regardless of how old he is. Regardless of what I've been through my teen. Regardless of how much money he makes. Regardless of how much he's away from me. Regardless of how my youth, my beauty and my affection are the only things I could offer him. and Regardless of how horny he is when it comes to my body.

[connectingtothedots]

Last Saturday, I attended a children's party with Jake. This is the son of one of his friends. He was in a bat suit! Don't you think he's very adorable? :D

[connectingtothedots]

This is my more than a year old dog, Thirteen. He has a raw meat diet which makes his coat more shiny and his built really muscular. He's a bit nippy and likes to play bite and I learned it really is the nature of Siberian Huskies. He's not puro though, he's half Spitz. But still very cute!

[connectingtothedots]

I went to the country this weekend and had a quite fun time. I went to the village of my friend's maternal side. This is a tower like building located just at the back of the house, quite high, I was only able to see from outside. It's actually where they farm bird nest. It's quite a lucrative business around here. It was noisy inside because they put audio cassette of bird's sound to attract the bird's attention.

This is quite interesting, don't you think? And how the country people are so clever when it comes to nature kind of business.

[connectingtothedots]

So I assessed their oral proficiency individually today. During the time I assessed other pupils I was composed, but when it was his turn, guess what, I was so clumsy and stuttered a bit. Major silliness, yes!

Anyway, this is another picture of him, close up, taken by my practicum partner who wanted to see how I was doing the oral test. I was in front of him at the moment this picture was taken.

Look at that smile of his! I was nervous! Haha

Until 20th September, which will be my last day of practicum in this school, I'll be talking a lot about him. So please bear with me, Mary~ haha

p/s:He smiled a lot to me since the starting of this week. Just yesterday, my lecturer came and was giving me some feedback about my lesson, and this boy kept on passing the room, out of no reason, and looked at me, and I was so curious and looked at him, and our eyes met, and he smiled and I ended up smiling too. I am feeling like a Grade 6 these days, for real.

Mary, do you think he will still remember me even after he has turned legal, say 21? And you know by that time, I'll be 30. Oh Gawd! Haha

[connectingtothedots]

Mr Moo's Cow and Carabao Milk.

I'm so addicted to this! I want to buy tons and just drink it every single day.

[connectingtothedots]

My mom and I went to an Farmer's market in Makati where there are tons of wonderful things are sold. I bought some ingredients for a salad that I'll be doing tomorrow :3 And by the way, that's just 1/4 of the haul that we bought hehehe

[connectingtothedots]

Dear Sera,

  Since I am a person who likes to be in neck deep with stuff to do, here's a preview of my next art project. I can't give too much details about it yet but I hope you'll find it cute too once I finish :)

  Mary

[connectingtothedots]

Nasi Minyak (Savoury Rice) + Acar + Fried Chicken + Dates

I had this for dinner. I couldn't figure what to eat because there were a lot of menus, in the end, I had this. Usually, the Malays serve Nasi Minyak for weddings. It's quite tasty, and there are variety kinds of Nasi Minyak.

Acar is a mixed of slices of veggies and fruits (cucumber, carrot, pineapple, and chili pepper are common ingredients). It's a common dish serves along with Nasi Minyak during weddings and served as a type of veggie dish on other events.

The stall put in dates as it's the month of Ramadhan. Dates are among the favourite tidbits during Ramadhan for the Muslims.

This Nasi Minyak is sometimes referred to as Nasi Beriani, because it is another variation of the Indian ghee rice; Biryani. *http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Biryani

[connectingtothedots]

His name is Dylan Mcllaren. I was in their class this afternoon, watching them over as they answered their trial exam. My heart was thumping, feeling like a Grade 6 girl when I was in front of him. I think he noticed that I like him, because he can't seemed to look at me, and keep covering his face out of shyness.

I am quite envious because he was fine with the 3 teacher trainees, and quite shy when it comes to me.

He has fair skin, and a nice smile, his eyes are big and dazzling. He has average muscular figure for a 12 years old. His smile is very attracting, and I am attracted.

Can I go back to when I was his age?

Oh well, I'll just gonna wait until he is legal. Like 6 years from now? haha

[connectingtothedots]

#8 To Mary

Dear Mary,

"go outside now. Look at the moon. It's pretty."

I wish I can say this this to the man I love who doesn't even know my existence and is somewhere I don't even know where and doing things at the moment that I am curious about, but that's alright.

I have you.

So Mary, can you go outside and look at the moon and tell me that we are under the same round shining golden moon tonight?

xxxsera