TW: unloving mother towards reader, Conrad being a dick
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Sitting with my head resting on the wall I flush the toilet. Thatâs the third time Iâve thrown up today. Knowing that Iâm pregnant just makes me want to cry, not because I donât want the baby but more so the fact that my sister canât decide witch brother she wants. The one that took my virginity away and got me pregnant all in one night, or the one that kinda looks like a puppy. Donât get me wrong I love jere but he does look like a lost puppy sometimes.
I donât even know what going on with Conrad, one day heâs fucking me and the next morning âit was a mistake and never should have happened.â Who fucking takes someoneâs virginity and then drops them. URGGGGGGG. He makes me so mad sometimes. The only person who knows Iâm pregnant is Steven, he barged in the bathroom when I was taking the test; then waited with me once he found out what happened.
Let me take us back a bit to when we arrived to the house.
Getting out of the car I take a nice long breath in, âIâm finally home.â I mumble to myself. Not that anyone would have payed attention to anything I say anyway, my family doesnât care about me much⌠well except for Steven Susannah came bolting out of the house at full speed. â theyâre here!â She yelled over to the boys. Jeremiah runs over to belly, looks over her for a second the picks her up and twirls her in the air. â awh bells I missed you so much!â
âYou know what time it isâ Steven says with the smirk visible in his voice. âBelly flop time!!!â The three boys scream at the absolute top if theyâre lungs. Belly tries to make a run for it but Conrad catches her. Urg the way he grabbed her waist made my heart shatter. Iâve loved Connie since before I can remember, my sister claims to have loved him since we were 11 but I sorta feel like thatâs not true. She would always tell me that she didnât want him and that she loved him like a brother.
Belly and I had huge glow ups this year. I let my hair grow out this winter too, I never really liked it that long anyways it just felt like the thing to do. Ignoring the fact that neither of the boys said hi to me, I made my way inside hopping mom and Susannah would let me talk with them for a little bit.
Itâs been 10 minutes and I hear the back door open, then I see Steven and Jeremiah walk in.
âHey y/n I missed you. Did your hair get longer?â Jeremiah says as he walks over and lightly threads his fingers thought my hair.
âYes jere bear Iâve been growing it out over the winter, I actually kinda like it longer.â Iâve always called Jeremiah jere bear since we were little, the odd time when Iâm aggravated by him or upset Iâll call him Jeremiah but other then that itâs always âjere bearâ or âmiahâ.
All of a sudden Iâm being overcome by a cold wet blanket.
âBELLY, Iâm going to kill you!â
âJeez calm down y/n/nâ Conrad mumbles
Belly finally lets go after some bickering and I run upstairs to get changed, Iâm suddenly felling self conscious once I get into my room and look in the mirror. My white top is completely see through and you can see all my stretch marks.
So many bad thoughts start running through my head;â heâs never going to want youâ or â you look uglyâoh and the best oneâjust kill yourself they would all be better without you anywayâ. My feet feel planted into the floor, it feels like theres quick sand under my feet and me going further into the sand the more the bad thoughts get to me.
âOne second!â I call out as I quickly through a sweater on.
âYou alright y/n, you seemed stressed out earlier when belly was hugging you.â Steven expressed his concern as he made his way over to my bed.
âYea, Iâm fine she was just getting me wet and I didnât like it. Plus i was wearing a white shirt, last time I checked white plus water equals see through.â I say with sass loaded in my voice.
âWhatever,Iâm out.â God he confuses me sometimes.
Time skip to after dinner
I havenât really touched anything on my plate but no one says anything to me anyways they just keep taking to each other, that is until I stand up and go to walk away.
âY/n where are you going, you know not to leave the table till everyone left and you have cleared the table.â My mom sneers. I just sit back down not wanting to escalate the situation. Jere looks at me with a glint of pity but itâs quickly gone when belly starts talking to him again. After everyoneâs gone and left their dishes on the table even tho Susannah insisted on helping me, mom just dragged her away telling them that this was my job from now on. God I feel so unloved. After Iâve put the dishes in the dish washer, put the leftovers in containers in the fridge, and cleaned the table I finally get to relax. I make my way outside thinking I would be the only one out there at this time at night, only to find Conrad sitting at the edge of the pool smoking a joint.
âThought you said smoking was for losers and it made you dumber.â
âI did that was before I found out how good it made me feel.â We went back and forth a little bit then after a while he patted the spot next to him.
âSit you must be tired of standing by now.â
I pull up the bottom of my pants a bit then take a seat next to him putting my feet in the pool. Maybe feeling so unloved was why I let it happen but what I remember was Conrad saying all these things that made me think he wanted me, then me being in heâs bed. He slowly started to take my clothes off knowing it was my first time and what I thought was an act of kindness must not really have been. After getting me down to just my panties he looks up at me for consent and I nod my head you can imagine the rest.
1 month later/ present time
I brush my teeth and leave the bathroom wishing I didnât let that day happen, I go back to my room curl up in bed with my blanky yes Iâm a 16 year old who still has a blanket., and start crying the tears feel like theyâre never going to stop. I feel the bed dip beside me and I try to hold in my tears till I realize itâs Steven and he closed the door behind him, then I just turn over into his embrace and cry as he rubs my back.
âI heard you throwing up, I had to come make sure you were ok.â He whispers loud enough I can hear it but not loud enough someone else will hear.
âSusannah wanted me to come ask you if you wanted to come mini putting with us and on my way up I heard but didnât want to disturb you.â
âOkayâ my voice comes out all raspy from all the crying Iâve done.
âGood get dressed wipe those tears I know youâre sad about what happened but he doesnât deserve your tears.â I nod as I wipe my face and get up making my way to my closet, Steven makes his way out of my room.
I walk down the stairs to see everyone putting their shoes on and getting ready to go when Susannah sees me.
âY/n Iâm glad you decided to join us, I was a little worried when I heard you throw-â. Steven doesnât let her finish asking if we should go now that Iâm ready. We end up deciding to take two cars to fit everyone.
â I call driving!â Belly kinda screams.
âHa funny. No!â Mom says sarcastically. âIâm driving beck can sit passenger, belly, Steven and Jeremiah can sit in the back.â
â Wait mom i donât thi-â
âNo arguing Steven I donât want that stupid brat in my car any longer then she has to be and Conrad knows how to drive so theyâll be fine.â Mom says with a tone so calm but strict that I flinched.
â Iâm sorry y/n/n, itâll be okay just donât talk to him.â Steven whispers in my ear. I look over at Conrad but he seems upset that I was looking at him, not that Iâm surprised he hasnât really talked to me since that night. When he does itâs just snide remarkâs about the way Iâm eating or sitting or really anything that involves me being in the same room as him. It makes me cry at night thinking about that night and how nice and âlovingâ he was, turns out I was just stupid and naive. Jeremiah must have seen me look at the floor and sigh that I was gonna be alone with Conrad cuz he cherps up
â Iâll go with con and y/n/n.â
âNo you donât have to jere. You can come with us donât feel obligated to be with that pig.â My mom says like she really cares about him not being with me.
â I donât even think Connie should be with her but someone unfortunately invited her so someone has to drive her there.â
â If itâs such a problem I can stay here.â I whisper like if I talk any louder Iâll be in trouble.
âThere will be no such thing happening y/n, you are coming with us. Laur stop being so mean to your daughter.â She says lovingly towards me then strictly to my mom.
â I want to go with them itâll be okayâ Jeremiah says confidently without hesitation.
The 2 fisher boys sitting up front with me in the back. This is better than sitting up front with him I guess.
âCould you get your big fat head off my window.â Conrad snaps at me. I flinch. I can feel the tears in my eyes I mumble a sorry and just remove my head from the window looking down at my hands.
âThat wasnât very nice Conrad.â Jeremiah exclaims.
âItâs okay Iâm used to it miah.â I whispered lightly. Conrad seems taken aback by what I said but just keeps his eyes on the road.
Jeremiah sighs â You shouldnât be. I donât get why Laurel treats you the way she does.â
â Cause Iâm worthless, and Iâm not good enough for anyone. Itâs always gonna be belly. Right Conrad.â I mumble feeling the tears streaming down my face. Conrad just scruffs.
When we get to the mini putt I wait for everyone before grabbing a golf club. I grab the one with the purple end. Steven hands me a purple ball he knows me so well. As I start walking behind the group so no one makes anymore comments about me because I donât think I could take anymore right this second with the pregnancy hormones and the fact that I just stopped crying. Susannah turns around and looks around as if looking for someone.
âY/n where are you.â Then she sees me. âOh there you are come here.â She pulls me towards her not caring about the glares sheâs getting from my mom. I donât think she wants me over here but Susannah seems content with me here so I guess Iâll stay.