me @ gates of heaven: i mean i wasn't even that bad tho
god: *pulls out receipts*
god: sweetie :)

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me @ gates of heaven: i mean i wasn't even that bad tho
god: *pulls out receipts*
god: sweetie :)
donât become who hurt you
~j (via bubbly)
Always be kinder than necessary. What goes around comes around. No one has ever made themselves strong by showing how small someone else is.
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Do my dark undereye circles and unwashed hair turn you on
âWhy donât millennialsâ?â
MONEY.
We have none. No money. Nobody wants to give us any.
 Whatever the rest of your question is, the answer is almost definitely âmoneyâ.
âWhy donât millennials buy diamonds?â âWhy donât millennials have houses?â âWhy donât millennials travel?â âWhy donâtâŠâ
Itâs money.Â
Mystery(s) solved. Youâre welcome.
East Fork Overlook, North Carolina | Photographer: Phil Varney
coming out of your room at 3 am and seeing your parents
A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, âMy car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?â The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, âWe canât tell you. Youâre not a monk.â The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way. Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery. The monks accept him, feed him, even fix his car. That night, he hears the same strange noise that he had heard years earlier. The next morning, he asks what it is, but the monks reply, âWe canât tell you. Youâre not a monk.â The man says, âAll right, all right. Iâm *dying* to know. If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?â The monks reply, âYou must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find these numbers, you will become a monk.â The man sets about his task. Forty-five years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery. He says, âI have traveled the earth and have found what you have asked for. There are 145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth.â The monks reply, âCongratulations. You are now a monk. We shall now show you the way to the sound.â The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, âThe sound is right behind that door.â The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He says, âReal funny. May I have the key?â The monks give him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone. The man demands the key to the stone door. The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. He demands another key from the monks, who provide it. Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire. So it went until the man had gone through doors of emerald, silver, topaz, and amethyst. Finally, the monks say, âThis is the last key to the last door.â The man is relieved to no end. He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is amazed to find the source of that strange sound. But I canât tell you what it is because youâre not a monk
Originally posted by disneyasastrology
BWAHAHAHAHAH.Â
the way i learned this, it was always told through spoken word. And youâd do the door thing for ages. AGES. literally just making up any old material. âbehind the foam door is a door made of spinachâ that kind of shit. Go on until whoever is listening has already begged you to stop and has now gone on to pleading, clutching your shirt on their knees pleading. And when you finally said the last line? People went fucking nuts Like there was a good chance of just getting the teeth knocked out of you after telling that joke.
A friend of mine did that shit for 30 minutes on a camp once. The entire fucking bus just exploded in anger when she finished. It was a fucking massacre.Â
I did this for an entire fucking hour while hiking through the Adirondack. Iâm surprised I made it out alive.
Some days she has no idea how sheâll do it, but every single day it still gets done.
Anonymous (via wordsnquotes)
Sheâs sundress cotton, heâs grease on a Carhartt shirt Sheâs a candle in the wind, heâs a light it up and let it burn.
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The best feeling in the world is being pulled closer
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When youâve been hurt by someone, keep loving. When youâve hurt someone else, keep loving. When you donât understand, keep loving. When youâre misunderstood, keep loving. When you find yourself judging, keep loving. When youâre being judged, keep loving. In sickness and in health, in darkness and in light, in pain and in joy, just keep loving.
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Itâs a bad habit of mine to say âIâm sorryâ as a reaction to everything. It comes out whenever Iâm sad, scared, or confused, even when Iâm the one getting hurt.
howtoevaporate (via wnq-writers)
Motherhood.