I have been here for 10 years

🤠

[consumedbyachillesinthewomb]

My Lord it's been a minute since I edited Project Hail Mary. This is not a ship edit btdubs.

Song is Million Dollar House by Pierce the Veil

[koldefingre]

Jane Hollander x Calvin Klein

[lucylehane]

Jacob with some spot-on Ilya character analysis (and general thoughts on sex-as-self)

It's Open With Ilana Glazer

[silvaerial]

Patron Saints of One-Way Trips

[medrawawi]

we have dada at home

[penandinkprincess]

extremely endeared about the idea of shane and ilya babysitting the pike kids and shane getting assigned role of king because he's mostly just interested in sitting and spectating to make sure no one is actually getting hurt and meanwhile ilya is alternatively a dragon/enemy knight/friendly knight/horse depending literally on the second and which kid you ask

which also leads to the very funny moment of the twins bringing their "captive" to king shane for judgement of his crimes and shane not even lowering his sunglasses and going "off with his head"

ilya is just D:< you will not even TRY to argue clemency?? for your HUSBAND???

"sir ruby, what are his crimes?"

"smashing the village and eating ALL the villagers >:D"

"yeah, death for sure" *dismissive hand flick*

[medrawawi]

shane and shanelings🐥🐣

[rozyposie]

actual tears in my eyes imagining little Shane debriefing on the bench with his teammate being like “hey so you didn’t score when I passed the puck to you even though you were wide open… I was just wondering like, are you stupid or something? no, just ‘cause like, you didn’t do what you were supposed to do so I’m just confused — what? what did I say? why are you crying?!”

The confusing feelings little shane is experiencing. He's supposed to be honest, but now people are mad at him for doing that 🥺🥺🥺

Also, I'm imagining the parents of the other kids confronting Yuna about Shane 'bullying' their kids. Yuna just responds, "well is your kid stupid?" and it does NOT help the situation...

[scunthotter]

Baby Shane playing imaginary hockey and then pausing to give imaginary press interviews where he just says things like "gotta put pucks in the net" in his tiny little 7 year old voice.

[consumedbyachillesinthewomb]

Okay but imagine his dad being the one to fake interview him 😭😭

"Mr.Hollander what was your strategy this game?" David holding up a fake microphone in his hand

"Be good at hockey" Little Baby Shane holding a little baby hockey stick 😭

[kaijuerotica]

shane is so obsessed with scott hunter because everyone knows autistic people love dinosaurs

[hr-rep]

Ilya’s next seduction attempt if the shower up-down hadn’t worked

[swagsmeister]

pajama pals

[limbel]

frog for @merthurmicrofic 🐸

[hundredthousands-art]

baby Shane

[penandinkprincess]

while we're talking hollanov under the influence of medication (is the only one talking about it), i'm laughing about the idea of shane half-expecting ilya to just be even MORE flirty when he's high on painkillers or coming out of sedation

and instead man is AGGRESSIVELY faithful

unhand him ✋ he is MARRIED ✋ (they are literally just trying to take his vitals) hands OFF!! his husband is gorgeous and will NOT appreciate this!!! (he says this to *shane* who is trying to help him back into actual clothes)

shane has to leave to let anya out and just gets a picture from svetlana of ilya curled up in the hospital bed smiling at a full screen picture of shane on his phone. literally the only way he would chill out and relax.

[cinematicvests]

extremely loosely inspired by @stonermossprince's post

[mybloodstream-caffeine]

And what if I wanted a Yuna POV canon divergent fic where, by virtue of being Shane's momager and shepherding him around everywhere when he enters the MLH, she keeps bumping into her son's biggest rival, because of course the two shining stars of the hockey world would be invited to the same events.

And, look. Yuna has been around hockey culture a long time. She knows why Shane begged her not to drop him off too close to the rink in juniors so his teammates wouldn't catch a glimpse of her. She knows what half the insults tossed around on the ice are about. She's not an idiot. So when this cocky upstart kid starts approaching her at these shindigs, all adolescent swagger, thinking he's soo slick and subtle with whatever kind of mind game he's obviously playing with her son, she has half a mind to cut him off before he can even work up any steam.

“All this talk of Hollander, Hollander, Hollander but I did not know he had big sister" is the kid's opening line.

And she shouldn't laugh – that's obviously the reaction he's aiming for – but he's really selling it, is the thing; his performance deserves at least that much recognition.

“I'm his mother,” she says, playing along.

And oh, he's good – his sharp eyebrows immediately jump into his thick tangle of curls, mouth dropping open in shock that, for all intents and purposes, looks utterly sincere.

“But this cannot be true – you are much too young to have teenager, Miss Hollander.”

And God, this kid. He really is laying it on thick. “I think you'll find I definitely am old enough – and a son your age, no less” that last part she says a little pointedly. She can lay it on thick, too. “And it's Mrs Hollander, actually.”

And Rozanov's eyes are glittering, all mischief when he says, “Ah. Your husband is very lucky man," and no, that is quite enough of that.

And even though she shoos him away, he always comes to circle her skirts at every event they both attend, playing up the simpering flattery, and Yuna, despite herself, is reluctantly charmed. If this is what the kid is like at nineteen, she can't even begin to imagine him when he was younger - he must have gotten away with everything.

Honestly, she finds herself thinking, exasperated, every time she spots him approaching with that impish grin, where is this boy's mother?

And then she finds out. And suddenly, she's asking David if they can invite Rozanov out to lunch because, well, he's going to be in their son's life for a long time, it's good to build rapport with Shane's peers, even if they're competitors.

And that's how Yuna Hollander tucks Ilya Rozanov firmly under her wing long before she ever twigs that he's fucking her son on the dl.