CONTRADICTION @contradiction-me - Tumblr Blog

i don’t think people understand how much of life is grief. not just people dying, but losing the version of yourself you thought you’d become. grieving the city you had to leave. the friends you lost not in argument, but in silence. the summer that will never come back. the feeling that maybe you peaked at 12 when you were reading books under the covers and believing in forever

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Piper & Alex | Orange is the new Black 1x01

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Moody Pacific Northwest 🌫️🌲

Washington State, USA

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Is there even any meaning to life?

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go where you’re truly valued… and sometimes that means going home to yourself.

I’m going to try not to cry as I type this. Haven’t felt like this in a long time. Feeling stagnant, under appreciated and underpaid. I’ve struggled with balancing my competitiveness and jealousy. Watching my peers or people of my age do significantly better than I am, makes me feel a whole lot shittier. Always been a bright kid, never thought I’d be the one struggling to earn good money. Trying to make sense of this passion versus money situation in my head. Life never seem fair enough. Never one to have the heart to hurt a life, but never seem to get blessed for a good heart, bad luck seems to always come my way. Tried to manifest good luck and positivity, only to have bad news coming back to me. So hard to believe in the good when all you have is the bad. Feels like I have only myself to lean on amid this dark journey. Constantly wondering when all these will end. Hanging on is all I can remember, starting to wonder if this is worthwhile, getting tired of holding on. Life doesn’t seem as precious as it should be, just another day. Everything is meaningless, chasing money, chasing happiness, nothing is enough. Nothing fills my heart.