CookyWook's BookyLook

Do judge a book by its cover.

[cookywooksbookylook]

The title of today’s book is ‘How Fossils Refute Darwinism’. Ok.

Well, first up - they don’t. I think if there’s one thing in the world that demonstrably proves Darwinism, it’s fossil records. You see, with fossils we can chart precisely how a species has developed over time (’evolved’, if you will) to the point at which it can be considered a new and separate one.

So, it’s a pretty bold claim to suggest that fossils somehow REFUTE Darwinism. If true, it’s probably the biggest scientific breakthrough of recent years. But as I say, I’m sceptical.

And what do we find directly underneath this title? Only THE TITLE AGAIN BUT WRITTEN SLIGHTLY DIFFERENTLY FOR NO REASON. Millions of fossils refute the theory of evolution. Is this meant to be a second title? A sub-title? Why does this book cover feel the need to immediately repeat both the words “fossils” and “refute” and also “theory of evolution” which literally means EXACTLY DARWINISM???

Also lol at the fonts. The first title is like some epic, biblical, Dan Brown-level proclamation. Title #2 is written in some twee cursive font straight from the only Valentine’s Day card you get every year that both you and your Mother pretend isn’t just from her even though you both know that it is, and that you both know that you both know that it is.

There’s a theme of repeating stuff twice here. Like, look at the top. The author of this pamphlet is one Adman Oktar. And then in brackets “(Haran Yahya)”. I did some research and ‘Harun Yahya’ is the pen name that Oktar uses for his publications. But... isn’t the point of a pen name to be something you use instead of your real name, not IN ADDITION TO IT? WHY HAVE BOTH?! WHY IS THIS BOOK.

And there’s something in the bottom right that I can’t quite figure out. It definitely says ‘THIRD EDITION’ somewhere in there. But it’s printed on top of something else, to the effect that none of the words are really readable.

Pro-publishing tip: when printing a new edition, remove the parts that refer to the book being a previous edition. Otherwise the book looks incredibly amateurish.

ALSO, the book slowly changing over time to become something else and different??? SURE SOUNDS LIKE EVOLUTION TO ME LOL

The imagery on the cover is a bunch of rocks floating around in the sky for some reason. Fossils don’t come from the sky, idiot. We dig ‘em out the ground and stuff.

I think that maybe Mr Oktar/Yayha doesn’t quite get what fossils are. Rather than being an exact record of the history of species, he seems to think they’re some kind of sky rocks that depict drawings of animals, and a leaf.

They are not. They also do not refute Darwinism. Like, at all.

I give this book 6,000,000/10 because that’s the approx amount of time that I’ve read modern humans took to evolve from their apelike predecessors.

I will not read this book. Sorry mate.

[cookywooksbookylook]

Hello again, friends. Yes, it’s time for another HELLA AWESOME BOOK COVER.

This one was entirely stolen from a friend, so THANKS FOR DONATING LOL. And it’s a great one!

_____B’s Guide to Beating and Picking Up - Veronica Heath

Aha, the cover for this book is partially obscured. Very nice. I just love a challenge on this blog. So I welcome the attempt at obfuscation. But, upsettingly, it looks like the little label is actually also the full name of the book.

Pro tip chaps, if you wanna throw me off the scent of a good book cover (perhaps by writing the cover in Swedish, putting stickers all over it, or using absolute nonsense), don’t go with the ol’ “cover the name of the book up with a smaller handwritten version of the name of the book” trick. It just won’t slow me down.

Thus, I can reveal with absolutely no difficulty beyond slightly zooming in, that the full title of the book is: THE NOB’S GUIDE TO BEATING AND PICKING UP.

Oh boy, this book just got a hundred times more hilarious.

The Nob’s guide to beating. A guide to beating. For Nobs? By Nobs? What’s the meaning of this, exactly?

The apostrophe in “Nob’s” is possessive, implying that this is the guide of-or-from The Nob. But what or what is Nob. The definite article ‘The’ preceding ‘Nob’ suggests it’s some institution or well-known figure (like ‘The BBC’, or ‘The Rock’). But I’ve never heard of this… Nob. Is it the guy on the cover? Is HE Nob?

No. The logo slightly to the left of the title reveals all. It’s the National Organisation of Beaters and Pickers Up. Or NOBPU for short. But they just shortened it to NOB for some reason.

Why wouldn’t they want to be called NOB PU? What do they have to be ashamed of? C’mon NOBPU!

Also, going with just NOB means the poor Pickers Up don’t get any representation whatsoever. And they work so hard, going around, picking things up. But NOBPU seems like a decent group. It’s purpose seems to be “uniting beaters and pickers up across the country.” What a pleasant and innocent-sounding goal. Get those beaters together! Bring them together and let them beat as one! And then do some picking up. Lovely.

Anyway, the main focus of the cover is a man taking a pheasant from a dog’s mouth. So I assume that this some kind of game hunting manual involving dogs as retrievers.

But how hard can these things be? Is the occupation of beating grass to drive birds into the air, and then picking up birds after they’ve been shot SO complicated that it requires an entire guide?

I reckon I could summarise the full manual in about two sentences:

1. Beat grass until birds fly out.

2. Pick the bird up off the ground. Or from your dog if you have a dog.

It seems they’re missing the crucial, skilful step of actually shooting the bird once it’s in the air. I think that’d be the tricky bit. But what do I know? I’m no Nob!

In conclusion, this book seems incredibly useless. Its only two redeeming features are that it has a dog on the cover, and that talking about beating Nobs is very juvenile but hilarious.

So I’m giving it 2/10.

[cookywooksbookylook]

Hey kids! This week’s Booky Look is ADULTS ONLY. So if you’re a kid please close this tab, quit your browser, log off from the internet, and go outside and do some physical exercise!

Let’s just give them a minute.

....

Ok, I think they’re gone.

Hey adults! What’s up? Adult life is pretty sweet huh! I’m literally drinking a beer on a Tuesday night and nobody can stop me. Woy oy.

So anyway we’ve got a book to review here. It’s Caught in the Act - Sex and Eroticism in the Movies by David Shipman. I found this in a pub that has its own library. And it’s pretty much the ultimate in library pub books.

Like, what is this book? Is it an academic treatise? Some kind of student dissertation that accidentally got mass printed? Or is it meant to titillate? Like it’s for perverts and such? WHO KNOWS.

It’s just got the weirdest cover ever really. That horrible black void with a pretty minimal type. That tiny cropped image on the front. That sleazy-as-hell font. At the very least, this book could do with some graphic design love.

Anyway, let’s take it from the top eh.

CAUGHT IN THE ACT

Ok, so this is like a pun? Because it’s about acting. And catching someone ‘in the act’ is a thing. Hmm, I suppose I’ll allow it. Maybe that would work better as the subtitle of the book though, seeing as it gives no information at all as to what the book is about.

SEX AND EROTICISM IN THE MOVIES

Now there’s a title! It’s informative, but doesn’t give too much away. It invites the reader in. I want to know more right away. I’m well aware that movies are full of sex, but EROTICISM? Like being flirty and stuff? NICE. But yeah, put it in a readable font next time, bub.

AWKWARD PHOTO

Is that Luke Wilson? It looks like Luke Wilson. Or a young John Travolta.

Anyway, they’ve used the least sexy or erotic photo of all time for some reason. And as I said above, it’s cropped to hell. Movies are usually nice widescreen affairs. Literally no movie has the aspect ratio of that photo.

Maybe they thought it was a really good example of ‘sex and eroticism’ and they wanted to crop out something really unsexy in the background? Like a man making hot dogs or something. But, even cropped, it’s not a sexy photo. Maybe it was the only one they had the rights to?

Or maybe it IS David Shipman. Maybe he played an erotic sailor in a movie sometime and thought the best way to publicise it would be to write a book subtly about it and put himself on the cover. 

David Shipman

Presumably not related to Harold. Dunno. That surname doesn’t have great connotations anymore. Maybe get a new pen name, David.

David Shipman is also a pretty unerotic sounding name too. If I was writing a sex book I’d at least give myself a cool name like THESEUS B. HARD or CONSTANCE PAYNE.

Overall then, I’m interested. But I don’t think the book will be any good. PASS.

I’ll give this book 1980/10 because I’m guessing that’s when it was written.

[cookywooksbookylook]

Ok, wow! What a confusing title. And cover. And everything about this. Where do I even begin?! Let’s do top to bottom.

#1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER

Really? I’ve never heard of “Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul II”. Maybe it’s really, really old or something? It certainly looks pretty dated.

Also, it features a story by Jennifer Love Hewitt. I guess that dates it too. She certainly isn’t really a thing any more.

JACK CANFIELD MARK VICTOR HANSEN KIMBERLY KIRBERGER

Who, who, and who? Never heard of them either. And are these guys like the editors then? They’re not listed as part of the story contributors down the left. So maybe they’re editors? Are three people needed to edit a book that I’m guessing is mostly soup recipes? Who ARE these people?

Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul II

No clue about this. Obviously I know what chicken soup is. It’s wholesome and delicious. It’ll cure whatever ails ya in a heartbeat. But how many different ways are there to prepare it anyway? Like... 20? Maybe enough to fill one book, but two volumes of this stuff seems excessive.

And marketing it exclusively to teens feels like another misstep. People of all ages can enjoy chicken soup. Shoulda called it ‘Chicken Soup for All Ages (Vol 2. We Thought Of Some More, Baby!)’. Or something like that.

Plus invoking the metaphysical concept of the soul has no place in a soup cookbook. Unless they’re going for some ‘soul food’ angle. And I don’t believe they are.

101 [More] Stories of Life, Love, and Learning

Guys, you’re using a computer-based text editor! You can go back and change stuff you’ve already written! I’ve done it like three times in each of the above paragraphs already. You don’t need to do the old ‘write the missing word above the line with a little arrow marker below’ trick. Just rewrite it! Jeez. 

Also how did three editors all miss that mistake in the subtitle.

‘Stories of life, love and learning’ is weird though. Sure, they’re learning about chicken soup. But ‘life’ and ‘love’ feel a bit abstract. Just say ‘101 more delicious soup recipes, baby!’. 

That list of story authors

Why do they call chicken soup recipes ‘stories’ in this context? Nobody has ever done that.

Plus the list is super funny itself. First it starts with Jennifer Love Hewitt (star of The Tuxedo), and then lists a bunch of nobodys. Is this meant to be a celebrity cookbook? Or just like good recipes, but one of them is from someone who used to be kinda famous?

Halfway through the list they chuck in and “and more, including” and then just carry on the list! Why?! Just carry on the list anyway. That’s like starting a sentence and - Hey reader, there’s even more words coming in this sentence, keep on reading! - chucking a completely unnecessarry bit in the middle for no reason.

Also the “Winner of the Teen People Contest” doesn’t even get named. Pahaah, bad luck, loser!

Of course, it couldn’t be that Erica Thoits IS the winner of the Teen People Contest. No, in that case they surely would have used a comma. Otherwise the list format would make it super ambiguous. No comma though, so that can’t be it.

Basically, I’m confused by this book and I don’t want to read it.

I give it 101/10. No way are there that many ways to do chicken soup though.

[cookywooksbookylook]

A “PAN ORIGINAL” this week. From “PAN books” no less. Yup, it’s The Pan Book of Charm. What a shame that they couldn’t have used the word “pan” more times on the cover.

I’m not sure what the Pan series of books are/were, but they seem quite lovely. This is a book quite clearly teaching you all about charm, and being charming. And it’s a charming cover in itself; there’s a slightly forlorn looking lady there posed under a drooping flower. What could be more charming?

Then there’s the charming tagline: “a gay, practical guide by the famous authoress.” I assume they mean gay in the old fashioned sense. Or it could be gay in the homosexual sense, who knows/cares? Either way, the book wants you to know its charming tips are PRACTICAL. This ain’t one of those airy-fairy up-in-the-cloud guides, no sir. This is charm you can USE.

Shame they went for ‘authoress’ though. Gotta deduct some marks for that. Would it be so hard just to say ‘author?’ Is there something about being a lady writer that is inherently different to being a male one? (Sorry to go on, but this IS Tumblr).

Anyway, the book rates itself 2/6 at the bottom there. That’s some low self esteem you’ve got there, Barbara! I’m sure it’s better than that.

Anyone know who ‘Barbara Cartland’ is by the way? The tagline claims she’s famous, but I’ve never heard of her. And, of course, if she really WAS famous I guess they wouldn’t actually need to describe her as “the famous authoress” on the cover. Oh well. Keep rocking that perm, Babs!

Overall, I’m intrigued by this book. I wanna hear what Barbara has to say, and what tips about CHARM Pan Books have to offer me.

I give it 26/10.

[cookywooksbookylook]

Yup, it’s another Swedish book cover! Hey, I’ll stop reviewing ‘em when they stop making ‘em.

This one is more or less straightforward. Well, straightforward in the sense that I have no clue about what it is or what it’s about. I mean, there’s pretty much nothing to go on.

There’s some lady with an incredibly tiny waist clutching her head. She’s probably got a headache from not eating enough. Hey lady, eat something already!

There’s words all over the place, but I don’t know where they fit in. Betsy Allen sounds like the author I guess, and the title is probably that Bevis I Blått bit. But I got nothing on that.

I will say that she’s kind of holding her head in the classic ‘MY SPIDEY SENSE IS TINGLING’ kind of way. So maybe it’s got something to do with that. Also her room is a mess, so maybe she just had a fight with DOCTOR OCTOPUS (DOC OCK)??!?!?!

Also the artist is a lazy guy who did a knockoff Mona Lisa on the wall because he had literally no inspiration.

Sorry, that’s all I can say really. I don’t want to read this book.

I give it 0/10 because I can make zero sense of it.

[cookywooksbookylook]

via @ambisagrus on Twitter.

 This is just a mess of a book cover. And obviously I love it.

Let’s start by just narrowing down the title:

A Heapin Helping of True Grizzard Down Home Again With Lewis Grizzard Elvis is Dead and I Don’t Feel So Good Myself Shoot Low, Boys - They’re Riding Shetland Ponies

Just.... what?!

It’s like the author just wrote down every book title they came up with while they were brainstorming, and just submitted that list AS the title. Seriously, it’s kinda insane. Plus it’s a taxonomical nightmare of headings, sub-headings, titles, and subtitles. It doesn’t help that the author’s name is part of the title to. Or that a tiny weird photo of the author breaks up the headline.

What could this book possibly be about? It’s definitely non-fiction, most likely autobiographical. But I have no idea who “Lewis Grizzard” is. I think he’s just some dude who wrote a book. Yet he considers himself prominent enough to use his surname in the top title as if it’s a thing we’d all understand.

(What’s “a heapin helping of true grizzard” ? Just the stuff he does?)

“Down home again” suggests this might be a sequel. Or maybe part of a series of Grizzard books. But there’s nothing else to confirm or deny this. We’re missing a lot of crucial information.

And those last two titles are just plain nuts. The first is about Elvis - who was probably barely dead by the time this book came out, given the artstyle. The second is the kind of thing a cowboy might say. But then there’s “shetland ponies” in the mix.

There’s a kind of South American vibe going on. “Heapin” instead of “heaping” for instance. But that’s just conjecture on my part.

Grizzard himself looks like an affable guy. He’s pretty happy, proud of himself for writing a whole book, clearly all by himself (unless nobody along the way thought about asking him to cut down the title maybe).

I also like that every bit of this is in a different colour and, in some cases, font.

Absolutely brilliant. I want to read this book.

I give it 29/10 because that’s how many words Grizzard fit on the page.

[cookywooksbookylook]

So yeah at this point I’m just grabbing random books from my kitchen. GUYS can you start sending me books in or something? Actually going out and finding these things is turning out to be a hell of a lot more work than I thought, and no way am I just gonna Google “weird book covers” because I’m all about #AuthenticContent.

Anyway, I’m pretty sure this is some kind of Polish cookery book. No guys, I haven’t started speaking Polish!!! I’m just saying that because it is very obviously a Polish cookery book for many reasons:

1. Polska translates to “Polish”, as anyone who has seen a Polski Sklep or knows anything about the world probably knows.

2. That dress is typically Polish.

3. The dress is being worn by a spoon. You cook things with spoons.

4. The weird spoon figure is standing in front of a huge cooking pot.

5. My Polish housemate uses it when cooking.

It’s not a conspiracy guys, it’s just common sense.

Anyway, I’m not sure why the person is a spoon and not just a person enjoying some delicious soup or something. Did they just really wanna draw a picture of a spoon wearing a dress? Is that some Polish in-joke I don’t get? Maybe it’s a fantastic pun that’s simply lost in translation. We’ll never know (my Polish housemate is moving out in like two months).

There’s a lovely rainbow coming out of the pot itself, which is pretty lovely. It symbolises that the recipes are DELICIOUS via the metaphor of a visual metaphor. Of course, there’s no way a rainbow like that could form as depicted. So don’t start holding this book up to any scientific scrutiny ok.

But dress spoons and magic rainbows aside, the most curious aspect of the book cover are those dang birds at the bottom there. What are they up to? They’re not really adding anything to the cover, they’re just kind of looking up at Ms Spoon with a kind of adoration. What’s happening here?

You might think this is a book about cooking for whatever breed of birds they are. Which is odd. Because that’s not a thing. Nobody cooks FOR birds...

Maybe then it’s a book about cooking birds. As in ‘four and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie’ style. It’s rather sinister then that they’re looking so damn louche. Do they know the fate about to befall them at the... hands (?) of this anthropomorphic spoon monstrosity. Truly this is the stuff of nightmares if so.

I guess it’s most likely that the birds are simply there as a kind of decoration. Maybe the artist could draw birds really well and would only take on the cover gig provided he could should some birds in there. Who knows, and frankly who cares??

Also there’s a bit at the bottom there: Polskie Wydawnictwo Ekonomiczne. I’m not even going to begin trying to figure out what that means. Polish something Economics? No way is this secretly a book about Polish Economics. If so, it’s kind of weird that my Polish housemate uses it for cooking.

Hmm, I should probably stop reviewing book covers in languages I don’t speak. But maybe it makes for interesting reading at least?

In conclusion I give this book Four and Twenty /10  because of the blackbirds and also because 420 lol.

[cookywooksbookylook]

Yes it is.

[cookywooksbookylook]

I found this in a charity shop. GUYS, it turns out that charity shops are like full of books. So I really don’t have a valid excuse for not finding any book covers to be reviewing lately. The street I live on has like fifty charity shops ffs - two of which are specifically charity book shops. Daaamn.

Anyway, this is a fun little cover. It’s a FABER paper covered EDITIONS book (aren’t all books paper covered?) and is just adorable.

It’s by HELEN CRESSWELL, who isn’t someone I know. But she seems like a good sort. Her name is a leafy plant plus a good thing. Which is a plus.

The title is The Piemakers which is just delightful in itself. Who wouldn’t want to read about the misadventures of some cheeky piemakers? Which brings us to the central image...

Uh-oh! Mr Piemaker’s in a spot of bother! He’s only gone and bloody burnt down his house/pie-making business. What a fool!

But wait, maybe this isn’t as light-hearted as I’m imagining. Consider the facts:

1) The title of this book is The Piemakers and yet there is only one pie maker on the cover.

2) That isn’t a bakery. Studying it further, that’s definitely someone’s house.

3) The look on Mr Piemaker’s face (yes, I’m sticking with that being his name) isn’t one of slapstick tomfoolery. He looks proper distraught. He’s got the “this is the end of all things” scream on his face. It’s actually kinda harrowing.

4) Nowhere is there any indication that this is a children’s book. Or even a comedy.

The conclusion: this is a book about a piemaker who burns down his home and kills his wife who is also a piemaker. And then maybe makes her into a pie? I don’t know, we don’t have enough info to go on.

Either way, I’m interested!

I give this book 1/10 because it’s ONE HELL OF A MYSTERY????

[cookywooksbookylook]

ok just WHAT. What is the deal with Swedish book covers? They're all completely bonkers. But at least that makes it fun to review them.

Let's just go top to bottom because there's absolutely no logical place to start with this one.

GUNNAR BLÅ

I'm guessing this is the main guy. His name sounds like an action hero and he looks pretty hunky (for a Swede). So.. I'm guessing he's like a Swedish James Bond? (Bond / Blå - the name almost fits).

Plus, GUNNAR. Like a person who shoots guns? Is that how Swedish works? I don't know. Let me know if you know.

DEN TREDJE SYSTERN GÄ NER FÖR TRAPPAN *OVERVAKNINGEN

Ok, I'm missing a few letters there (this was a fan submission so guys if you're gonna send me book covers please make sure to send me the WHOLE THING please, yeah?). But it doesn't really matter because it's all in Swedish anyway. My best guess would be...

THE THREE SISTERS GO NEAR A TRAP OVER VAKNINGEN(??!?!)

That's some educated guesswork plus some of me just going 'ok I give up, Swedish, you win.' But whatever, we'll come onto the plot later.

I can translate the next bit, or at least the word BONUSMATTERIAL - which I'm pretty sure translates as "bonus material." Why can't all Swedish be like that? C'mon guys, just shove words together and stick little bits on top of the letters.

Then, [*]ERTIGO FÖLAG. I'm guessing that's the author's name? Like his first name is Vertigo, or something? (Must be a Swedish name). But I do like that this is the second smallest bit of text on the page. Real proud of this one were you, Vertigo?

Also why is all the text in different sizes and colours? I'm pretty sure it's like the first rule of graphic design to not do that. But hey, what do I know?

Let's actually skip the picture for now because it's just..... so bizarre...

The last bit reads...

"Gunnar Blås romantrilogi är det mest smärtsamma man kan läsa just nu" - Jonas Thente, DN

So this is a review of the book. Here's my assumed translation:

"Gunnar Blå's romance trilogy is the smartest you can read just now"

Good work on that whole shoving words together, Swedish! Note how this doesn't make it any clearer as to whether Gunnar is the lead character or author. But I really want him to be the main character, so that's what we're going with.

So finally we come to the cover photo. I mean, wow. Let's break this down. You've got:

Gary Barlow wearing a

Pirate earring whilst holding a

Octopus baby and also a

Gun??????

I mean just what the hell. Why did Gary Barlow agree to model for this book? Why did he agree to hold a octopus baby and a gun? What's the plot of this book?

Gunnar is a cop one day from retirement who just wants to look after his octopus baby? That's a pretty strange idea, even by Swedish standards.

Also his top is slightly open, as if he were about to breastfeed it. I'm not saying that's what's happening but you give me some kind of other explanation.

Is this a comedy? A thriller? A buddy-cop love story about a man and an octopus baby? I have so many questions and so few answers.

So yes, of course I'd read this book. You'd be mad not to.

I give it 9789185817856/10.

Also note that it's 39 SEK, which is about £3. So it's absolutely quality literature.

[cookywooksbookylook]

"Two books in one"

No it isn't. It's one book in one. Bad start.

"THE MEGA TRIVIA BOOK"

Descriptive. Fine. Boring.

"Compiled by Joyce Robins"

Who? Is that name supposed to mean something to me? Next!

I give it 2 (in one) / 10

[cookywooksbookylook]

Stolen (with permission) from Emerald.

So this is Toilet Tales. Yup, it's another toilet book! Erm, sorry about that? 

Anyway, I think it's a really good cover. And it's certainly seen a lot of wear, given the creases. A well-loved book.

So what is a toilet tale anyway? Is it stories about toilets specifically? Or stories that just involve toilets in some way? The cover gives nothing away, apart from from the most fantastic picture ever.

Yes, that is an elephant sitting on - and subsequently crushing - a toilet. What an unbelievable tale! Why is he on a toilet? Why did he think that was a good idea? How did he even get in a human bathroom? The cover art poses all these questions, and more, enticing the reader to dive in and discover their answers. I'm sure the book more than delivers.

And I also like how the elephant is drawn. His facial expression is all like "ah ffs..." so great job on the artwork!

The author appears to be someone called Andrea Wayne von Königslow. That's a pretty great, and excessively fancy, name right there. It actually sounds like the name of the lord or a baron or something. Could this be the side project of some rich german land owner with nothing better to do?

Probably not. But I want to believe.

I give it Elephant/10 because I can't think of anything better.

[cookywooksbookylook]

Fact: flying horses are mythical creatures. They are not real.

Just thought I'd get that out of the way to begin with. I don't want you thinking I think it's an established fact that Pegasus ever really existed. My taking a photo of something claiming that is in no way an endorsement (that goes for all the photos on this blog, actually).

A bad start, then for "Over 1000 Fantastic Facts" - which seems like it should be a subtitle for a book rather than the actual title. You can ignore the 3 for £10 or £5 each sticker, that's not part of this. Though it is a pretty decent saving if you think about it, perhaps indicating how much the staff of The Works value this book.

It looks like a book aimed at children to teach them facts about the world. Listed, these facts cover the areas of:

Earth and Space

Prehistoric Life

Animals [not covered under EARTH or prehistoric LIFE? I guess Earth is more like physical geography...]

History [not including preHISTORIC life??]

Science [excluding EARTH, SPACE and LIFE??]

Yup, five arbitrary and completely overlapping topics there. Great job, unnamed author!

And the illustrations are pretty rad too, you've got:

Pegasus [not a real thing]

A sarcophagus

A... volcano?

A dinosaur

A stealth bomber

Which topic does the stealth bomber come under? Science?

In any case, the book's claim to contain over 1000 fantastic facts seems dubious. Not least because Pegasus makes me doubt the truth of the facts contained within. So it basically sucks.

Before concluding, let us recall the wonderful treatment of facts offered by Wittgenstein in the opening propositions of the Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus:

1: The world is everything that is the case. 1.1 The world is the totality of facts, not of things. 1.11 The world is determined by the facts, and by these being all the facts.  1.12 For the totality of facts determines both what is the case, and also all that is not the case. 1.13 The facts in logical space are the world. 1.2 The world divides into facts. 1.21 Any one can either be the case or not be the case, and everything else remain the same.

I really hope "Over 1000 Fantastic Facts" covers the same ground.

For now, I'm giving it >1000/10

[cookywooksbookylook]

Ok so elephant in the room: this doesn't look like a book. Why not? Well, because it says "31 postcards" at the bottom there, and books usually aren't postcards or full of postcards.

(The exception to this is the Jolly Postman series of books, which are literally the most fun possible for children and also me).

But anyway shut up I'm still going to review it because it still has a cover. Also this is my tumblr and nobody even reads it so I can literally do what I want.

The title then. TEEN-REBEL DOPEFIENDS in all caps. I'm not sure why "teen-rebel" gets hyphenated. I'd still understand what it meant if it just said "teen rebel dopefiends" - viz. rebellious teens that are fiends of dope. A teen-rebel isn't like an established class like middle-aged or upper-class. Also all teens are rebellious. So yeah, bad start I guess.

But I guess it's trying to go for some sort of B-movie vibe, right? The art style is like an old 60s/70s film. Like a public awareness film from that time in which the druggie teens are portrayed as super villainous (ironically glamourising the taking of drugs in the process). Hence the big caps dramatic title, and making explaining the odd punctuation? Perhaps this is a nod to a famous B-movie that I don't know about, like Body-Snatching Alienfiends or something. Please let me know if you do know.

The subtitle is great: drugs, mayhem and juvenile delinquents from the pulp classics. Punctuation style this time: all lower case, no full stops. Nice consistency, bro! It reminds me of the Clockwork Orange subtitle (rape, ultra-violence and Beethoven) so I'm pretty sure that my B-movie vibe was on the money. [Not to suggest that Kubrick's masterpiece is a b-movie, just that the style of marketing around that time is distinct]

I don't have anything else to add to that, apart from the fact that both the words "juvenile" and "delinquents" are awesome and underused generally.

Down to the art, and we have this big face just floating there. Is that meant to be someone? It looks a bit like what would happen if a young Damon Albarn merged with a young Jarvis Cocker (the pulp classics???). His eyes are all green and scary, so I guess he's meant to be a vision of horror. But I think he looks kinda cool.

As far as I know, taking dope doesn't make your head swell up, detach from your body, and float around scaring people. But maybe it does. In any case, that's the impression I'm getting from this cover. That said, the women on the left on the lamp post don't seem to mind. I bet they're all like:

LADY 1: check out that big head lol LADY 2: lmao what a dopefiend LADY 1: yeah look at his big eyes LADY 2: what a hunk rofl LADY 1: wanna go do some dope LADY 2: yh ok

A cautionary tale if ever I wrote one.

The diorama over on the right is a little more hard-hitting. The guy there is literally tapping for a vein and it's pretty gruesome. I bet they're all like:

MAN: oh man i gotta find a vein for this hit LADY: yo check out ma leg lmao MAN: goddamit this aint the time bitch LADY: we dont even have any dope lol MAN: wtf where is it LADY: u sold it to those girls at the lampost ayy MAN: fml

In conclusion, if this isn't a real book it should be. I'd like to see if the thirty-one promised postcards include other such visually rich images, or - even better - carry on the story of the lampost girls, the big floating head man, and those other guys.

I give it 31/10

[cookywooksbookylook]

Yes, Rod Hull of Rod Hull and Emu. But there's no emu here.

What's the deal then? Well, I'm not actually sure. It's some kind of book by Rod Hull presumably, but I don't know what it could be about.

The title The Reluctant Pote is super confusing. "Pote" is a word, meaning "An animal's paw's fur or the animal's paw itself." Is this a subtle reference to being the "paw" of Hull's emu?

Either that or it refers to the Brazilian municipality Poté. That seems unlikely though.

Another possibility is that this is a book of poetry. And "pote" is some kind of play on words. But it doesn't achieve anything other than confusion. Maybe he was just a bad poet.

But then there's that line at the bottom "Decorations by Sally Gregory." Eh? Decorations? Is that like a fancy word for illustrations? What kind of book is this?

Decorations would really only make sense if this was some kind of interior design catalogue curated by Rod Hull. But that would blow our previous "pote" theories out of the water. And also be totally insane.

In short, this book is a mystery.

I give it Pote/10 because what.

[cookywooksbookylook]

Likely the most surreal cover I've reviewed so far. And that's saying something.

Firstly, the title. The Rim of the Tub. Titles are meant to convey something about the book; either the content or the sentiment. This does neither. I doubt it's literally about the rim of a bathtub (I mean, it could be, but I don't think it is). And nor does "the rim of the tub" evoke any strong sentiments (compare The Bell Jar). It just makes me think of a dirty old bath.

So, a bad start.

But the picture just about makes up for it. I'm saddened it's relegated to just that small box, because there's a lot going on it it. Here are some of the interesting elements:

A house on an island, with a pier going out to it.

A guy with long hair smoking and drinking a coffee.

Someone standing up with a book.

A seagull.

A very small coffin.

A dashing guy in a stripy blazer.

Harry Potter.

What can we gather from these assorted elements? Well, it's a book about a family who live by the sea and something dies and then there's a seagull. Probably.

Also, I like the funkadelic font they used for the author's name.

Overall then, this would work better as a prog rock album cover than the cover of a novel.

I give it 1970s/10