I’m sharing this because very soon I will be facing one of the hardest things that I’ve ever had to do. I will let down my guard and I will be open and honest in a 3 day trial about the abuse I experienced in my last relationship. I had never been more in love. He was the first person I had ever met that made me feel like I meant something. That is, until I didn’t anymore...
One minute you’re in love, and the next you’re in a hospital bed with broken ribs and a punctured lung. It’s crazy how quickly life changes. I’ll never forget the moment he punched me in my ribs, and he yelled “THAT’S A FOLDER” as I buckled. I went to the bathroom, laid in the ice cold tub fully clothed (to avoid fainting), and then vomited. I laid on the ground in the fetal position, grasping my sides as he stood over me and told me I was being “dramatic”.
Even after that, I went back. I feel so much shame behind this decision. It’s going to take a lot of therapy to release that. Lol. Months later he grabbed me by my hair, held my face against the ground, and punched me over and over. I remember being stunned for some reason. I couldn’t believe it, even though he’d already shown me what he was capable of.
Over the course of that relationship, this man slapped me, shoved me, pulled my hair, bit me, punched me, broke my bones, and so much more. Yet the only thing that still hurts is the fact that he broke my heart and spirit in every way he could muster. I am so afraid of going to trial and I’ve considered backing out a million times, but I can’t. I need some sense of “justice” in order for me to ever justify the shit I allowed myself to go through. Ugh. I’m just venting.
Be as strong as you have been!!!!
