Steve’s hand hovers before he knocks. He can hear something faint through the door—music, maybe, the low hum of a guitar riff he’s heard Billy play before, bleeding through tinny speakers. For a second, he thinks about turning around, pretending he was never here. Pretending he didn’t walk across campus with his heart hammering like it was trying to outrun him.
Then the door swings open before he can decide.
Billy’s standing there in a pair of sweatpants, a grey hoodie, one with fraying at the cuffs, so worn that the college logo on it was cracked and faded— Steve’s hoodie. He’s got the hood halfway up, his hair messy like he just rolled out of bed. The room behind him is dim, lit only by the yellow glow of a desk lamp. He looks surprised—but not really. More like he’d been expecting something, just not quite this.
“Hey,” Billy says, voice rough from disuse or smoke. His eyes flick down to Steve’s hands, then back up again. “You need something or are you just gonna stand there looking like you’re lost.”
Steve stared at him wide eyed, hand dropping back to his side. “I can go if it’s not a good time, or whatever.” He shrugs, it’s tossed out easy but his gaze flicks over Billy’s shoulder, like he really means it.
Billy shakes his head, rolls his eyes like Steve is being ridiculous. But he doesn’t hesitate when he steps aside, wordless, and Steve slips past him. The room smells like cologne and cigarettes, warm and sharp. There’s a mess of books on the desk, a half-empty mug, a pack of smokes lying open. Everything feels too Billy—chaotic but somehow intentional.
“Didn’t think you’d show up here,” Billy says after a beat, closing the door with a quiet click. “Thought you were avoiding me still.”
Steve rolls his eyes, though his pulse jumps. “I wasn’t avoiding you—just was busy.” He mumbles, doesn’t even sound convincing to his own ears.
Billy smirks, leaning back against the door, arms folded. “Yeah, sure you were.”
The silence that follows isn’t awkward—just heavy. Steve can feel it pressing against his chest, the air thick with all the things that never made it out of their mouths. He wants to say something easy, something to deflect—but the truth’s been sitting in his throat too long.
“People’ve been talking,” Steve says finally, eyes on the floor. “About you. About us.” The last part comes out carefully—cautious.
Billy doesn’t move for a long moment. Then he says, quietly, “Yeah. Let ‘em talk.”
That makes Steve look up. “Since when do you give a shit what people say?” There’s something almost soft in Billy’s face, a flicker of something he’s not used to seeing there—uncertainty, maybe. Or hope.
“I don’t.” Steve’s quick with it—too quick. He runs a hair through his hair shifting from foot to foot. “I just—look you’ve been acting weird.”
Billy snorts “Weird, how?”
“I don’t know, man. You—“ Steve gestures between them helplessly “You don’t look at people like that, like anyone, you’re treating me like we’re—I mean you don’t do all that for nothing,” He cuts himself off, exhaling through his nose, frustrated. After a beat he finally meets Billy’s eyes “Right?”
Billy doesn’t look away. He just lets the silence sit there until it’s heavy enough to make Steve squirm. Eventually he pushes away from the door taking a step forward, slow and deliberate.
“You’re really wound up about this, huh.” He’s not mocking, says it like an observation. Like it’s obvious, not even a question.
Steve scoffs out a laugh, “Yeah, no kidding. You’re the one fucking with me. Changing up on me—excuse me for not understanding what your deal is.”
Billy blinks, his expression changing—small, almost imperceptible. Almost defensive. “You think this is all just me fucking with you?”
Steve falters at the question. Billy voice isn’t teasing—it’s like he’s asking something he doesn’t wanna know the answer to.
“I don’t know—maybe? You’re the one who said it casual then you go and—“ Steve waves a hand vaguely between them, but he doesn’t finish that thought, clears his throat and starts over. “You tell me it’s no big deal, but then you keep coming around. You text first, you stick around after.” His voice cracks a little, can’t help it. “And I know how you are, you just—don’t do that with other people, Billy. You don’t.”
He’s rambling, he knows it. He’s nervous and frustrated, doesn’t know what to say. So he ends up saying too much. He exhales, voice breaking. “So what am I supposed to think? You made those rules, not me.”
Billy doesn’t look away, looking a lot more awake now than he did just a few minutes ago. “Yeah,” he agrees. “And I’m the one who broke them.”
Steve freezes, taken off guard. “What?”
Billy’s voice doesn’t waver, his tone calm and final. “I’m saying it stopped being casual for me a long time ago. That’s my deal.”
Steve’s mouth opens, but nothing comes out at first. He rubs the back of his neck, avoiding Billy’s eyes. “You’re serious?”
Steve laughs softly, more nervous than amused. “You could’ve said that before I made an idiot of myself.”
“Wouldn’t have believed me,” Billy says.
“Maybe not,” Steve admits, quiet. “Still would’ve liked to hear it.”
Steve’s not sure who moves first, only that one second they’re standing apart, and the next, Billy’s close enough that Steve can feel the warmth of his breath. Billy’s hand finds the back of his neck, not rough, not claiming—just there. Waiting
It’s not at all what Steve was expecting. He thought maybe Billy would be pissed, maybe even throw him out the room. That would’ve made more sense to him then this.
Steve lets out a breath that’s half a laugh. “You make it sound easy.”
Billy smirks, small and tired. “It’s not. But I’m still here, aren’t I?”
Steve studies him, then nods. “Yeah. You are.”
Billy seems to relax a little, like maybe he’d been the one waiting for the bad reaction instead of Steve “Guess that’s enough for right now.”
“Yeah,” Steve says quietly, knowing that’s the best answer he’s going to get out of him. But Billy’s right it is enough. “For now.”
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